#ned thatch

Bal. Mal is the favoured daughter of Hades sent to corrupt gods favourite son Ben. However. It looks like they might be influencing each other.

Devie. Evie’s a sucubus trying to make Doug fall. Doug is a scribe who’s meeting her efforts flirt for flirt. Effortlessly might I add.

Jaynelos. Jane is a guardian angel slowly becoming undone by a pair of highly persuasive chaos demons named Jay and Carlos.

Gilonnie. Gil is an innocent demon paired up with the rather rough and tumble Lonnie to keep the orphaned Dizzy Tremaine in balance.

Numa. Uma is a vengeance demon slowly but surely being turned around by Ned and his relentlessly kind and persuasive optimism.

Perdox. Persey is a demon in charge of recorruption. But their latest subject, Maddox, is proving to be a very difficult yet highly intriguing challenge.

Andie. Hadie is an incubus tasked with seducing an arts angel Anthony. Problem is. Anthony is more hedonistic than even Hadie is.

Chaudrey. Chad and Audrey are incredibly stuck up angels whose only goal is to keep the demons out. But due to all of the fraternising. They are failing.

Hades. The devil. Satan. Old Nick. Mr Scratch. He runs hell. Technically all the demons father. But he only claims Persey, Hadie, Harry, Mal and Evie.

Celia (creating projections from the tarot cards): You wake up and it’s seven, you wait until 11

Just to figure out that no one will call

You I think you've got a lot of friends

But you don't hear from them

What's another night all alone

When you're spending everyday on your own

Uma: And here it goes

Celia: you’re just a kid

And life is a nightmare

You’re just a kid

I know that it's not fair

Nobody cares

'Cause you’re alone and the world is having more fun than you tonight

(Uma has enough and walks through the projections making them disappear)

Uma: And maybe when the night is dead

I'll crawl into my bed

I'm staring at those four walls again

I'll try to think about the last time I had a good time

Everyone's got somewhere to go

And they're gonna leave me here on my own

Celia (smiling evilly): And here it goes

Uma: I'm just a kid

And life is a nightmare

I'm just a kid

I know that it's not fair

Nobody cares

'Cause I'm alone and the world is having more fun than me

Oh GOD!

What the hell is wrong with me?

Don't fit in with anybody

Celia: How did this happen to you?

Uma: I don’t know!

Wide awake, I'm bored and I can't fall asleep

And every night is the worst night ever

I'm just a kid

Celia: You’re just a kid

Uma: I'm just a kid

Celia: You’re just a kid

Yeah, you’re just a kid

Uma: I'm just a kid

Celia: You’re just a kid

Yeah, you’re just a kid

Uma: I'm just a kid

Celia: You’re just a kid

Uma: I'm just a kid

And life is a nightmare

I'm just a kid

I know that it's not fair

Celia: Nobody cares

'Cause you’re alone and the world is-

Ned (taking Uma’s side): Nobody wants to be alone in the world

Uma: I'm just a kid

And life is a nightmare

Celia: You’re just a kid

Uma: I know that it's not fair

Nobody cares

'Cause I'm alone and the world is-

Ned: Nobody wants to be alone in the world

Celia: Nobody cares

'Cause she’s alone and the world is having more fun than her tonight

Uma: I'm all alone tonight

Celia: Nobody cares tonight

Ned: Hello darkness, my old friend

I've come to talk with you again

Because a vision softly creeping

Left its seeds while I was sleeping

And the vision that was planted in my brain still remains

Within the sound of, silence

Uma: In restless dreams I walked alone

Narrow streets of cobblestone

'Neath the halo of the streetlamp

I turned my collar to the cold and damp

When my eyes were stabbed

By the flash of a neon light

That split the night

And touched the sound

Of silence

Ned: And in the naked light I saw

Ten thousand people, maybe more

People talking without speaking

People hearing without listening

People writing songs

Both: That voices never share

Ned: And no one dared

Disturb the sound

Of silence

Uma: Of silence

"Fools, " said I, "you do not know

Silence, like a cancer, grows

Hear my words that I might teach you

Take my arms that I might reach you"

But my words like silent raindrops fell

And echoed in the wells

Of silence

Ned: And the people bowed and prayed

To the neon god they made

Both: And the sign flashed out its warning

Uma: In the words that it was forming

And the sign said, "the words of the prophets

Are written on the subway walls

And tenement halls"

Both: And whispered in the sound

Ned: Everybody wants to be a cat

Because a cat's the only cat

Who knows where it's at

Everybody's pickin' up on that feline beat

'cause everything else is obsolete

Uma: Now a square with a horn

Can make you wish you weren't born

Ever'time he plays;

And with a square in the act

He can set music back

To the caveman days

Ned: I've heard some corny birds who tried to sing

Uma: But a cat's the only cat

Ned: Who knows how to swing

Uma: Who wants to dig

Ned: A long-haired gig

Uma: Or stuff like that?

Ned: When everybody wants to be a cat

Uma: A square with that horn

Ned: Makes you wish you weren't born

Uma: Ever'time he plays;

Ned: And with a square in the act

Uma: He's gonna set this music back

Ned: To the Caveman days

Uma: Everybody wants to be a cat

Ned: Because a cat's the only cat

Uma: Who knows where it's at;

Ned: While playin' jazz he’s always welcome at the mat

Uma: 'cause everybody digs a swingin' cat

Ned: Everybody digs a swingin' cat

Uma: I want you to know

Ned: I want you to know

Uma: Beware of a square

Ned: When he offers to share

Uma: His milk to sip

Ned: If it hasn′t been tried

Uma: I suggest you provide

Both: Your own catnip

Everybody wants to be a cat

Uma: everybody wants to be a cat

Both: Because a cat′s the only cat who knows where it's at

Ned: who knows where it′s at

Both: Everybody's pickin′ up on that feline beat

Uma: feline beat

Both: 'Cause everybody wants to be a cat

Ned: Be a cat

Uma: Be a cat

Ned: Listen up

I need all your felines to meet me at the front of the stage

Welcome to the Sleep Cat Cafe baby, ow!

(He and Uma do the Charleston)

Both: Everybody

Everybody

Ned: everybody

Both: Everybody

Everybody

Uma: everybody

Both: Everybody

Everybody

Everybody

Everybody

Uma: Yeah

Ned: Ooh,

Both: woo!

(They start dancing together as they clean the event hall with magic)

Uma: The clock strikes upon the hour,

Ned: and the sun begins to fade

Uma: Still enough time to figure out how

Ned: to chase my blues away

Uma: I've done alright up 'til now

Ned: It's the light of day that shows me how

Uma: And when the night falls

Uma: My loneliness calls

Both: Oh! I want to dance with somebody

Uma: I want to feel the heat with somebody

Both: Yeah! I want to dance with somebody

Ned: With somebody who loves me

Both: Oh! I want to dance with somebody

Ned: I want to feel the heat with somebody

Both: Yeah! I want to dance with somebody

Uma: With somebody who loves me

Ned: Yeah!

Uma: I've been in love and lost my senses, spinning through the town

Ned: Sooner or later, the fever ends, and I wind up feeling down

Uma: I need someone who'll take a chance

Ned: On a love that burns hot enough to last

Uma: So when the night falls

Ned: My lonely heart calls

Both: Oh! I want to dance with somebody

Uma: I want to feel the heat with somebody

Both: Yeah! I want to dance with somebody

Ned: With somebody who loves me

Both: Oh! I want to dance with somebody

Ned: I want to feel the heat

Both: Yeah! I want to dance with somebody

Uma: With somebody who loves me

Ned: Somebody who,

Uma: somebody who

Ned: Somebody who loves me

Uma: Somebody who,

Ned: somebody who

Uma: To hold me in his arms

I need someone who'll take a chance

Ned: On a love that burns hot enough to last

Uma: So when the night falls

Ned: My loneliness calls

Both: Oh! I want to dance with somebody

Uma: I want to feel the heat with somebody

Both: Yeah! I want to dance with somebody

Ned: With somebody who loves me

Both: Oh! I want to dance with somebody

Ned: I want to feel the heat

Both: Yeah! I want to dance with somebody

Uma: With somebody who loves me

Ned: Don't you wanna dance with me baby?

Uma: Don't you wanna dance with me now?

Ned: Don't, don't you wanna dance, dance with me baby?

Both: With somebody who loves me

Uma: Don't you wanna dance, say you wanna dance

Don't you want to dance,

Both: dance!

Ned: Don't you wanna dance, say you wanna dance

Don't you want to dance,

Both: dance!

Uma: Don't you want to dance,

Ned: dance!

Uma: We travel single, oh

Maybe you’re lucky, but you don't know

With them just let one kid fall down and seven mothers faint

Evie: I guess you are happy,

Oof

(Uma’s just hit Evie painfully in the stomach)

Uma: but maybe you ain't

My song bitch. Fuck off.

People

People who need people

Are the luckiest people in the world

Like children

Needing other children

And yet letting our grown-up pride

Hide all the need inside

Acting more like children than children

(She takes Ned’s hand)

Uma: Lovers

Are very special people

They're the luckiest people in the world

With one person

One very special person

A feeling deep in your soul

Says you were half, now you're whole

No more hunger and thirst

But first be a person who needs people

People who need people

Chloe: Are the luckiest people in the world

Uma: now you’re getting it.

Mmm mmm, mmm mmm

Chloe: La la la la la la

Uma: A feeling deep in your soul

Chloe: Says you were half, now you're whole

Uma: No more hunger and thirst

Chloe: But first be a person who needs people

Uma: People who need people

Wesley: Every year, I'm dragged in to the festivals

And every year, I gotta do this lame old waltz

Like "you gotta eat your vegetables"

Ned: It’s always just the same old, same old

Dancin' with the same old princesses

Is kinda like I'm doin’ it pro bono

Wesley: And what no one knows I'm wishin' is

I'm wishin' for a princess that I don't know!

Ned: Oh, every year I'm fightin' not to yawn

Wesley: Hoping something excitement will appear

Ned: Prayin’ as the ball is draggin’ on

Both: Something will be different

Something will be different

This year

Uma: I've never been to

A fancy dress ball

Not legally anyway.

In a gown all soft and cheer

Chloe: Usually, I dance with

The broom after all

So I can’t wait to come

To something different this year

Ned: You don't understand.

Wesley: Just wait.

Ned: You'll see what it's like

Wesley: Every dance the same old one-two-three

Ned: The waltz is really boring

Uma: Yes, but if you think about it differently

Chloe: You could maybe make that waltz feel sort of soaring.

Ned: One, two, three,

Wesley: one, two, three.

(The two couple get a hang of the dance)

Uma: Just about where he can have a thing or two

Ned: Now all at once,

Chloe: Now we’ve done some waltz enhancing

Wesley: For the very first time

Uma: It's a ball for wearin' a glass slipper to

Ned: Wanna wear that boutonnière

Chloe: The perfect shoe for dancing!

Wesley: Can't wait to dance

Uma: Now for two or you will get there

Ned: 'Til we hear midnight chime

Chloe: I think you will be so fine and flashy

Wesley: 'Cause excitement will come

Uma: And I'll be dancing there til midnight

Gee, I hope somebody asks me!

Ned: To something

Chloe: Oh, every festival can have it's faults

Uma: Still i'm glad the time is drawing near

Uma: 'Cause I know if we can get to waltz

Chloe: Something will be different

Uma: Something will be

All four: Different!

Ned: Now all at once

Wesley: For the very first time...

Uma: I'm going to a ball

Wesley: Want to wear that boutonnière

Chloe: And I won't be a flower on the wall!

Ned: Can't wait to...

Chesley: Dance 'til we hear midnight chime!

Uma: Finally after all!

Ned: Wait for you there! It's...

Chelsey: Something different...

Numa: Something different this year...

(They stop dancing)

Chesley: If you'll dance with me

Numa: Then it just might be

Chesley: Something different...

Uma: Welcome to your life

Ned: There's no turning back

Uma: Even while we sleep

Ned: We will find you

Both: Acting on your best behaviour

Turn your back on Mother Nature

Everybody wants to rule the world

Ned: It's my own design

Uma: It's my own remorse

Ned: Help me to decide

Uma: Help me make the

Both: Most of freedom and of pleasure

Nothing ever lasts forever

Everybody wants to rule the world

Uma: There's a room where the light won't find you

Ned: Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down

Uma: When they do, I'll be right behind you

Ned: So glad we've almost made it

Uma: So sad they had to fade it

Both: Everybody wants to rule the...

Uma: I always forget how long these breaks are.

Ned: I know right.

Uma: oh here we go.

Ned: you or me

Uma: you.

Ned: I can't stand this indecision

Uma: Married with a lack of vision

Both: Everybody wants to rule the—

Ned: Say that you'll never, never, never, never need it

Uma: One headline, why believe it?

Both: Everybody wants to rule the world

Uma: All for freedom and for pleasure

Ned: Nothing ever lasts forever