#nbproblems

OK so I asked my friends again for questions, just for when I run dry of things to blog about. I’m actually not dry, as it happens, but when this came up, I felt that this was incredibly important. I’ve had to deal with it a few times and there are several different approaches people take. I will discuss the two main ones that I’ve come across.

The Direct Approach

This is my preferred approach. Just flat out ask me. Be like ‘so... if you identify as NB, what pronouns should I use?’ it’s simple and effective. Others may not agree, and prefer another approach, but it’s what’s best for me.

The Nervous Approach

So. You’re out of a night and a friend keeps referring to someone as ‘they’ or ‘xie’ or some such non-binary name. You become curious as to why, and what’s going on, or you worry that you might have misheard, but instead of clarifying, you sit there and become more and more nervous about it. That makes you uncomfortable, right? I’d rather people be relaxed and comfortable, ultimately, and so am very open to questioning about these things. As are most of my trans community chums. The more you relax about us, the more we relax around you. We want you to be able to just chill out in our company, and not constantly stress about gender pronouns, desperately hoping that it will come up so you can be sure.