#nb attraction

!!!

I am so entirely glad to hear you love our words! 

And I totally understand what you mean. Gay doesn’t cover my love for non-binary people. The bulk of people I am and have been attracted to have been non-binary as well.

Enjoy your love!

I wrote a big response to this last night but apparently tumblr ate it. Hopefully I can pull it back up. 

Firstly, please start using ceterosexual in place of skoliosexual, as the latter is not used. 

Secondly, as with all things, there’s a lot more going on than just simply “attraction” when we talk about cis people using the term vs nb people. 

Allowing cis people to use the term gives “chasers” (people who pursue trans people because they’re trans) something to hide behind and validate their objectifying and fetishizing behavior. 

People may not be able to immediately or directly affect who they’re attracted to, but they most certainly can (and must) analyze that attraction and acknowledge the sexism/objectification that may be involved.

“but what if they honestly just aren’t into cis/binary people”

Well here’s the thing. Nonbinary people are actually so diverse. I have not met a single nb person that presents/identifies the exact same way. You could say you’re attracted to androgyny, but anyone could present androgynous regardless of gender. There are also loads of nonbinary people that even present binary/cis.So to say you’re attracted to nb people more or less says “I’m attracted to everyone,” and at that point you might as well just use bi/pan/polysexual. 

Additionally, when nonbinary people take on ceterosexual as an orientation, it’s not just an attraction. It’s seeking safety, trust, and acceptance in a world that mostly erases our existence. It’s seeking someone who acknowledges you for who you are, and knows you will do the same. Allowing cis people into that space disrupts that safety. 

In short, people can and should help their attraction, and recognize there’s a lot more going on beneath the surface when using the term. 

Yeah exactly. And I think it goes a bit deeper than that. A trans person has gone through the process to decompile gender and sort through it themselves, where a cis person isn't required to by society so it's much less likely. A trans person has more than likely experienced objectification, misgendering, and discrimination, so there's kind of a shared ground of experiences. Not really gonna happen with a cis person. I have only met a few cis people in my life who are truly respectful of pronouns and who I've shared my process with, but there's only so much they can really understand. 

That's what we do when we create safe trans spaces, so that we can be with people who have a shared experience, and who we can trust to see us as we are. I see a similar thing with nb attraction. Of course there are likely trans people who have only dismantled their gender in a binary framework and still might not be as respectful as we want.

Also this is up for debate, but I've always considered nonbinary as a term to include all the trans spectrums, even trans-binary. Some may argue that you could just use "non-cis" or simply "Trans" and that nonbinary needs its own distinction but regardless all trans people have rejected their assigned binary gender, so have every right to use ceterosexual/romantic if they identify with it. Something to ponder / argue / expand on.