#namecalling

Bite (ao3) - aby55al (orphan_account)

Summary: Vampires live freely among humans. They quietly coexist and hardly ever kill their victims, instead they usually appear as drunken one night stands or that one guy you made out within at the bar who gave you a very painful hickey. The only limitation put on vampires is that they cannot touch someone who is pure in thought and body. (i.e. Never touched themselves or had sex) In today's society that's not really an issue, but sometimes those people are worth the risk. After all, pure blood tastes best.

Phil is a vampire, has been for around ten years, but he's stuck at 19. He's always been able to get into bars or wherever it was easiest to get a fresh source of blood. It never mattered to him what kind of blood it was, blood was something he had to have, and whichever way was easiest was fine by him. Until one night he met Dan.

Danisnotadom (ao3) - Sinninghowlter

Summary: Dan's not a dom. Everyone swears up and down that he is, insists he is domming his boyfriend and is too good to take it in the ass.

Phil's not a sub. Everyone thinks he is, everyone thinks his baby is in charge. What they don't know is his hardcore boyfriend is actually a princess.

Flash (ao3) - worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)

Summary: Dan has been pining for his teacher, Mr. Lester, since he first laid eyes on him. When he tries to take a cheeky photo of Mr. Lester’s ass during class, the camera’s flash goes off.

Glutton for Punishment (ao3) - cockwhoredan

Summary: It’s 2012, and Dan’s been an absolute brat. Phil takes it upon himself to teach his flatmate a lesson.

Nothing weird about that (ao3) - htmllost (orphan_account)

Summary: Dan's school is pretty fucked up. Physical punishments like spanking and canning are totally normal. But Dan doesn't mind that much because he's a good kid. Although, that quickly changes as he tries to get his new hot English teacher, Mr. Lester's attention. Smutty smut.

Punish Me Harder (ao3) - BoyishBeans

Summary: Prompt: One where Dan isn't happy with Phils punishments so he pushes Phil to the edge and then Phil ends up fucking him and then Dan has marks and bruises and scratches and shit the next morning that will last a while

Talk Like That (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: Tenderness has its place. But sometimes, even on an evening that is as quiet and unassuming as this one, Phil wants filthy heat and tension that doesn’t require an afterthought.

The True Meaning of “Punk” (ao3) - phantasizeit

Summary: It is Dan’s last year of sixth form and he is ready to just say ‘fuck it’ and be himself for once. He meets a sinfully attractive (but actually dorky) uni student named Phil who helps him in his quest to embrace and express himself.

Under your control(ler) (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan was exhausted. No, not from his inevitable lack of sleep (he thankfully got a healthy three and a half hour snooze in the night before, thank you very much!) or from working out a bit too hard. Not even from the stress of being on tour. No, he was exhausted because of his lovely (but sometimes oblivious) boyfriend Phil

You Weren't Supposed To See That (ao3) - thiccennugget

Summary: But I'm Glad You Did…

Happy New Year all! First write of the year, a special one for @wildfaewhump‘s birthday. Also helped me get a jump start on my resolution of 200 words a day for the year. Hope you enjoy!

CW: abuse of power, blood, person in charge is a dick, namecalling

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Stars flashed across Alekoran’s vision as knuckles connected with his cheek and sent him crashing to the floor. He caught himself just before he fell face first against the mat, the taste of blood already starting to fill his mouth. He groaned from his shaky arms failing to push him to his feet, already dizzy and out of breath.

“Get up, Private,” the voice behind the punch snapped at him. Alekoran glanced over at the boots next to him, half expecting one of them to nudge him in the side. He spat out bloody spit on the mat and lifted himself to his feet. His eyes locked with Captain Imadaal’s, fists balled and ready for another round. They were wrapped, but barely scuffed. The only evidence of fighting was Alekoran’s blood smeared on his face and the Captain’s knuckles.

“You take that long to get back in action on the battlefield, you’ll be dead before you even know it.” The Captain shook loose his wrists before bringing up his fists to a fighting stance. “Now, advance.”

Alekoran growled and lunged forward, a punch aimed right for the Captain’s head. Swing, step, step, block, sidestep, a final swing and miss before the Captain caught his arm and twisted him around. Alekoran cried out from the quick sharp pain before the Captain’s foot kicked out his and he collapsed to the ground again. This time the Captain kept him pinned to the mat, arm still twisted and pressed against his back. Alekoran yelped from the pain, slapping his hand against the mat. To no avail.

“Bam.” He felt the Captain’s fingers push against the back of his head. A kill in less than a minute. Alekoran squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his teeth tightly against the painful throbbing. Only after the point was made did he release Alekoran and step away.

Alekoran groaned in relief, taking a moment he knew was frowned upon to catch his breath. His eyes wandered for a moment, seeing the rest of his squad sitting on the sidelines and watching the sparring. His cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Only a few weeks he had been with them, and he must’ve looked like a poor excuse for a Rebel in their eyes.

“C’mon, we’ll go again,” the Captain snapped his fingers impatiently. Alekoran coughed, splattering more blood onto the mat beneath him as he tried to push himself up again. His twisted arm ached suddenly and he barely managed to lift himself to his knees.

“Already giving up? You expect to go out on the battlefield in a few weeks and you’re quitting when it gets tough?”

“Captain,” across the room, Alekoran’s sergeant, Tzimer, spoke up, “He’s been at it for a couple hours now.”

“And not a single hit on me in all that time. It’s pathetic. Diçians aren’t gonna give pause for a pouch baby like him. Him and your entire squad have to be ready!”

Alekoran’s ears bent back at the name. A silence hung in the room for a moment, finally Imadaal groaned and stepped off the map. “Fine, get him to the infirmary for a patch up. Soladi, you’re up next.”

Alekoran sighed and slumped back down. It wasn’t a good feeling, having to stop. As harsh as it was, the Captain was right. He had to be ready for the fight, no matter how much it hurt. He wouldn’t get there if he stayed on the ground bleeding and drooling.

“Get his right side, there.” He hadn’t noticed two of his squad came by his side. He groaned as they pulled him up to his feet. Tzimer came into his view on the left, and Alekoran sighed. “Thanks, Sarge.”

“We’ll talk later. Alumaris, you got it from here?”

The other squad member helping Alekoran nodded and walked with him towards the door. Each step was a feat of its own as they made it through and down the hallway. Finally out of earshot of the Captain, Alekoran’s teammate turned to him. “You know, Captain knocked me out with a bloody nose during my first match with him. He’s usually rough with the newbies, anyway.”

“Yeah?” Alekoran wiped a line of blood running down his lip.

“Yeah, pretty cool to go that long in a fight.”

Alekoran chuckled, wincing from the pain flaring in his face and ribs. “I don’t give up easy. And he’s a dick, don’t like giving him the satisfaction.”

“Yeah, heh. Well, he fights dirty anyway. I could give you some pointers later on if you want.”

Alekoran looked back at him and nodded with a smile. “Yeah, that’d be cool. It’s Macxè, right?”

This is embarrassing... I really thought it was common knowledge nowadays that if you feel the need to put others down, it's because you're unhappy with yourself... There's literally no other reason to be doing this.

For those wondering, he started off saying that "having a BMI over 50% is a red flag." which isn't even how BMI works, but ok 😂 and no, the video wasn't even mine nor was it about weight or physical health or anything. He just decided he wanted to comment on my obesity because, again, he must have nothing better to do which is the bigger red flag here 🚩