Prompto please tell me you're getting a picture of the daemon not-

Based off a roleplay with @rosiesuzuya

Stella let out a tearful scream as she pushed herself away from Ardyn once he revealed himself.  He watched as she tripped over something, probably a rock or her own feet, and crawled back, tears brimming in her blue eyes.

It made something stir in his dead heart.

“Why do you keep running from me, Stells?” he asked as he followed her slowly.

He pressed his foot on her ankle before she could move away further.  He offered her a crooked smile, holding his hands out for her.

“It’s OK, my star,” he cooed.  “Your lovely uncle is here to make everything better…”

Tears ran down his princess’s cheeks and he only smiled wider.

 A while ago…

 Ardyn’s legs felt heavy as he wandered the empty streets of the city.  His limp was more exaggerated than usual, at this point he was practically dragging the leg along the pavement.

His mind was plagued with dark thoughts, more than usual since nearly strangling the life out of his Stella.

Should have killed her.

What were you hoping to trap her here?

Do you really believe she’ll love you?

She’s a creature of light, you are not.

It is sickening the way you follow her, hoping for the salvation that you’ve never deserved.

She needs to know who’s in charge…

“Shut up!”

His voice was clear and angry.  His wave of emotion expelled a wave of dark energy, hitting any daemon unfortunate enough to be too close to him.

Ardyn doubled over and choked.  Black ooze splattered onto the broken pavement before him and he rested his shoulder on the nearest lamppost.  It was like his ribcage was crushing into his lungs and his airways were blocked.  It was as if he was drowning with a thousand arrows through his chest.

“St-Stella…” he rasped as he held his chest.  He tipped his head up to glare at the sky.  “Ai…leen?”

There was a dark chuckle somewhere in his plagued conscience.

They’re one and the same.

Your beloved ran to your brother as does ‘your little star’.

Why do you fight us?

You know we’re right.

We gave you power.

She, on the other hand?

She’s already left you.

Ardyn’s pain disappeared quickly at the last voice. He turned around and saw a Nagarani slithering up to him, hissing angrily.

He reached out for her as she leaned down and let him examine her memories.

From her point of view, she was towering over the princess.  Stella looked up at her, eyes wide with fear.  She summoned her axe and held it up, ready to throw it.

The Nagarani responded by circling her and breathing blue mist over her.  Stella turned into a toad and the Nagarani tried to grab her with her jaws.

Stella evaded the attack and dove into the nearest drain.

Ardyn drew away and stuck a katana through the Nagarani’s forehead.  The lifeless daemon fell to the side as he returned the katana to his armiger.

“Running from me already, my sweet?” he murmured. “Oh, you haven’t seen me at my worst. How will you handle me then?”

The daemons inside him sung with joy as he made his way out of Insomnia.

He was halfway down the bridge leading towards the mainland when he heard a startled scream.  He turned and saw Stella halfway between the sewage pipe and the river, flailing her arms rather comically.  She belly-flopped into the water and Ardyn’s lips quirked.

So unladylike.  Was she really a princess?

Ardyn watched her swim towards the bank.  He sat on the hood of an abandoned car, cupping his chin thoughtfully.

There were so many ways he could approach her.

Should he scare her across the dark wastelands and have her pass out with exhaustion?

Should he have her circle the same area until her mind broke?

If she was so scared of snakes, maybe he could lure several Nagas or Nagaranis to torment her…

Maybe he could pretend to be one of her friends.

Maybe…he should disguise himself as Ignis.

He chuckled darkly, shaking his head.

Ah, yes, her beloved Ignis.  The reason why she was under oath to be his.  Poor girl would probably die for him, not that Ardyn was keen on killing the princess without enjoying her company.

The diary he acquired was full of praises for Ignis.  There didn’t seem to be anything Stella disliked about the chamberlain.  She confessed to singing ballads whilst thinking of him.  She tried to cook for him despite it ending up as a disaster most of the time.  She whined about wanting to spend more time with him, although her schedule didn’t allow it.

It made Ardyn sick.

How could she love a perfectionist who tries too hard to hide his flaws?  Could she not see that he was only doing his job in cooking and cleaning for her? That his relationship with her could only ever be professional?

Oh, how she cried when Ignis lost his vision before her.  She screamed and wailed as she cradled him.  Such a blessing it was for the King’s Hand to see her before his world fell to darkness.

Ardyn wondered, would her embrace be as warm as it looked?  Would she pity him enough to let him rest his head on her lap and stroke his hair?  Would she press those soft looking lips onto his skin?  Would she cry for him and his pain?

Ignis seemed to not know what a privilege that was.

Ardyn blinked and he was in the chamberlain’s body. He looked at the cane in his hand with a frown and mimed using it to feel his way down the road.  He adjusted the dark glasses on his face and cleared his throat.

“I…have come up with a new recipe.”

He chuckled to himself, holding his head. He regained his composure, although his smirk was wide and cunning.

Title: Hell have no fury like a...snakelady scorned. | A day where everything Noctis eats tastes like vegetables

Rating: G/SFW

Warnings: Just strong language and non-descriptive mentions of vomiting.

FFXV Crack Week 2018 : @ffxvcrackweek

Prompt: A day where everything Noctis eats tastes like vegetables

They were at the Calletein’s Plunge. There was a ground where a Midgarsommr likes to bask but it’s gone at the moment.

…Alright, the time might be a fact as to why the Midgarsommr is not there and all since it basks when there’s light. Anyway, in its place was something out of a nightmare (It’s night, get it?). A Nagarani….

Well, the looks at least. The fight didn’t take too long. As matter of fact, a few hits and a flask of Firaga, it’s all over.

However, Noctis wasn’t paying too much attention and the dissipating corpse of the Nagarani fell on him, making him cry out in shock.

“Noct!” He could hear the other three calling out for him.

The musky smell of the daemon and whatever that was leaking on to him only disgust him. “Get off of me, you ugly bitch!” He struggled to crawl out, holding off enough space so that he could breath.

The Nagarani, even with its head going off in smoke, shifted towards him and manages a… glare?

But before he could think further on it, it’s all gone and Prompto was there to get him back on his feet.

“Urgh, man. That’s nasty.” Prompto said as he wiped off the blood on his pants. Or maybe it was just slime.

“Injuries?” Ignis asked as soon as he reached earshot, worried.

“I’m ok.” Noctis assured him as he recovered, after checking there was nothing else wrong.

“Could use a bath, though.” Came Gladio’s amused tone.

The raven haired prince grimaced at him. “Says the guys that looks like he got powdered with soot.” He retorted.

“Who’s fault was that, Princess?” Gladio countered.

“Guys, can we just get out of here?” Prompto whined as they heard the daemonic tittering of Arachne. A bunch of them. Looking toward the falls, they could see the half arachnid ladies stealing glances and tittering lightly again. They must have been for a while.

“I second that, post haste.” Came Ignis’s reply as the three of them hustled their way up to the main road, keeping constant vigilance for ambushes.

Thankfully, they all made it in one piece to the car.

Zooming to the nearest caravan, they took turns with the bath as Ignis cooks them some burgers.

“Nice!” Noctis commented, digging into his too fast and choked. Prompto was there to help him clear his throat while Gladio had an amused smile before he took a bite out of his burger and Ignis gave him an unimpressed grimace.

Settling into his seat, the Advisor sighed. “This wouldn’t have happened if you ate your food rather than gobble it down.” He said dismissively before biting into his.

“Ignis!” Noctis bellowed angrily. “The fuck was that?” He said as he placed the burger back on his plate. “Some kind of new veggie burger recipe?” He said in disdain, as he took a drink of water.

Ignis was so shocked at the reaction, he froze while Gladio took a look at his burger.

“This is just garula meat, right?” He asked before reassembling it and Prompto took a bite out of his burger to be sure. After swallowing that, he went for Noctis’s burger.

“Dude, these are just Iggy’s burgers. It’s garula meat, man.” Prompto said in disbelief, giving Noctis a puzzled look.

He looked at them as if they were lying. He looked over the burger again and indeed it was grounded garula meat. He took another tentative and cringed as he tasted broccoli. “No, it’s definitely veggies.” He groaned as he went and grabbed a glass of water to wash down the taste.

The other three stared at each other. “Come on, Noct. This isn’t a joke.” Gladio admonished.

“Do I look like I’m joking?” He retorted.

And that was the start of a starved King-to-be’s journey.

The advisor slaved the next day to make something the princeling would eat but to no avail. For food tasted like the enemy, the vegetables.

As the problem dragged on, the Prince soon fell-

“Hey, Noct. How’re you holding up?” Came Prompto’s concerned voice.

Slipping his eyes off the phone screen, he secretly puts the diary app away.

“I want meat.” He sulked as he put the phone down and tries to take a nap. He manages to sate his hunger with milkshakes and other liquids but the craving for proper food never went away.

Prompto was on Noctis watch duty while Gladio and Ignis asked around.

“Well, something other than meat?” Prompto asked, staying where he was in case he could fetch it.

“Can’t sleep. Too hungry.” The prince moaned as he rolled on to his front. “Bored.”

“King’s Knight?” He asked as he sat next to the prone prince, readying the phone as well.

The prince just shook his head. “If this keeps up, I might just die from starvation.”

“Hey, at least the milkshake still tastes like milkshake. Wanna go grab some?” Prompto offered cheerfully. “Y’know, my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard-“ He sang off key.

The prince took out his sword in a flash of blue and pointed it at the cheery blond, freezing him mid-sentence. “I don’t have anything to eat other than the milkshake. Six help me before I stab you for making the only thing that I can ‘eat’ a puke trigger.”

The blonde on the other hand just push it aside and laughed. “Sorry, dude.” He said as the prince lazily let the sword disappear in another flash of blue.

“Noctis, Madam Ezma would like to speak with you for a moment.” Came Ignis suddenly. It seems he was there for a quite a while.

“Astrals, Iggy. You scared me there.” Said the blonde, recovering from his surprise. He only received an apologetic nod at that.

Once they met her, they were all…quite surprised?

“Usually, daemons can’t understand a thing we say but some of them actually understand us.” She said solemnly before giving the prince a pitying look. “And a Nagarani can dish out pretty weird curses. Thank the Astrals, it goes away with time. It shouldn’t last more than a day, like other status effects.” She placated them.

Once they knew what the matter was, they decided to wait it out. Ignis only gripe is the fact that he had to waste three bottles of remedies.

The night couldn’t come fast enough for the Prince. Noctis had piled all kinds of meaty food he could get by begging Ignis and scrapping what’s ever left of their supplies.

“Noctis, I would advise to start eating slowly.” The Advisor tried to advise the rather manic Prince. “Or you’ll get sick before you can even finish them.” He said. He’s regretting cooking all of those dishes now.

“Uh-humph.” The prince said through a mouthful of a skewer meat. Thankfully, there’s Gladio and Prompto to help with the food but when the prince was hissing over a plate of brisket, they knew better than to squabble over it.