#nadia.

HOLD ME NICELY, I AM UNLOVELY.

my eyes are made of acid and my tongue is sharp with spite / attention whore with too much pride, there's no one i wouldn't fight / i don't like confrontation but i'm staring at the sun / i won't quit until my eyes go red, i'll finish what's begun / i fucked the reaper 'cause I knew my time was coming, can't you see? / i was either gonna die at twelve or ninety-fucking-three

Nadia couldn't say what led her to the park. She'd left the Institute an hour ago, intent on heading home when her feet carried her elsewhere. Each step brought her closer to her destination, though she couldn't say what it was. Not until she arrived.

The park itself had new verdure sprouting on branches – spring ushering in renewed life. There was magic in the air, the kind that was ever present amongst nature and its creatures. But there was something else. Nadia didn't understand why she was there, or what she was looking for, but she felt it. A bone-deep certainty that there was something amiss. Intuition told her to be on her guard and experience told her that whatever had drawn her here was powerful.

She walked a familiar path through the park, blue-eyed gaze observing and taking in the smallest of details. The squirrel scurrying up a tree, a bird flapping it's wings as he took off from a bench, a leaf falling. A haze, settled over the large pond in the middle of the park. Nadia paused, her steps faltering as she studied it from a distance. It shimmered as though light was reflecting in it, but with dusk soon descending into night, there was no reason for it to shine as it did.

Nadia probed it; her magic reached invisible fingertips against the surface of the haze, brushing it carefully. It lasted only a moment, but the next, her magic had recoiled and she started, unease filling her with a chill. She looked past the haze and then back the way she'd come and froze. The squirrel was still scurrying up the tree. The bird was taking off from the bench. The leaf was falling. Again and again.

first of, my portrayal of nadia is very closely affiliated with @1stresponders's erin lindsay, and my own portrayal of jay halstead. you will find headcanons + changes involving them reading onwards from here.

nadia lives in erin's apartment. she has done so ever since rehab, there was talk about her moving out once she finished at the police academy and she was saving for it. but that never really happened.

erin ( and her boyfriend, jay ) make a lot of space for nadia. she has her own room. they make sure to never have alcohol or anything else that can add to addiction around the house. this is a big help, and nadia appreciates how they can do fun things without things like that having to play a major role. she has to learn everything from scratch leaving rehab - erin helps teach her new and better habits. ways to manage life.

nadia attends na meetings at least twice a week. she has her chips, she's very proud of them, and she dreams of one day becoming a sponsor for herself, but not until she becomes a police officer. she knows piling too much onto your own plate will tip the scales in a bad way.

tw assault: when yates come into the picture, nadia knows they're dealing with a bad guy. i won't go into detail. he still takes her to new york - but erin and the team finds her in time. she leaves new york with more scars, inside and out, than she's ever had. a therapist diagnoses her with ptsd and it doesn't come as a surprise to anyone, but nadia still takes it hard.

since she is not dead: nadia waits another year before joining the police academy. during this year she lives with erin lindsay, who stays home with her for a while after the assault happens. she goes to therapy, and slowly she starts feeling like a person again. after the year passes, she starts the police academy - with a promise from detective olinsky that there's a spot for her in intelligence ... when she's all done. he makes a great deal out of letting her finish completely, not pulling her out early like he did adam ruzek. he knows she needs the time, and she secretly appreciates it.

MAKE LOVE TO: Connie HAVE A QUICKIE WITH: Katerina BE ROUGH/KINKY WITH: Nadia

“they both have their own qualities that make them stand out, you can’t accurately compare the two of them.”