#n1fy

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

“hey,” he said, half asleep, “what were you before you met me?” “i think i was drowning.” a pause. “and what are you now?” he whispered, sinking. i thought for a second. “water.”

Played the piano intentionally, hoping that Shi De will show up.

Waited by the swimming pool intentionally, hoping that Shi De will show up.

Waited in front of Shi De's class intentionally, hoping that Shi De will show up.

Sat in the library for hours intentionally, hoping that Shi De will show up.

And he then realised that he's "doomed" and that he's "fallen for him".

[ID: five gifs of shu yi and shi de on a bridge at night. shu yi asks shi de if that was his first kiss, to which shi de laughs and shakes his head. shu yi asks him who it was and shi de says it was that day in the swimming pool. shu yi cries a little and says that kiss didn’t count. END ID]

The touch is light as a feather but not as light as Gao Shi De’s kiss.

Follow up - 

he hasn't raised his voice in a while now. a long time. since he was young. he's gotten good at being soft-spoken and small, you see, so that he'd take up as little space as possible. 

he thought he won't ever have to shout again and never in his life did he even think that he could raise his voice in anger around Shu Yi let alone shout at him. and yet... he shouted at Shu Yi, pushed Shu Yi away, made Shu Yi cried.

abruti

dumbass

u're going to fight back

u're "somehow" in charge of the merger between ur company and his

u slapped him in front of everyone

u look at him in anger

there are tears in ur eyes

u still follow him to his office

u didn't wait for him, u didn't

u were just surprised to see him after five years

how fast, it's only been five years

u didn't wait for him

(but u kept count of the time that past since ur separation)

he says 'u & i...' and u swallow, 'u & i, what?'

u're downsizing his company because of personal reason

u still turn to him softly, look at him with fond, kind eyes, and smile even softer and sweeter

he needs to go, he has to be the first one to go

u're fine, u couldn't be better

but u're so angry and upset ur stomach hurts

u still let him into ur house

u need to know why he's here, what he's trying to do to u (is he here to break ur heart again?)

(he still knows u so well)

u push, u shove, u throw things

there's carrot in ur fridge

u invent a fake relationship to fool him (& it backfire on u, everything u do to him always backfire on u)

u're dating, it's going great, she's meeting ur dad soon

u didn't wait for him, u didn't

who does he think he is?

u're not angry with him, u hate him

(the greater the love, the greater the hate and u hate, u hate him so, so much, immensely, passionately)

u eat the dinner he made for u because u have to finish whatever he cooks

u can't even look at his face or talk to him or let him do nice things for u

he's not allowed to do nice things for u

he's the one trying to win u back but u're the one seducing him

u touch his chin, his cheek, his forehead, his hair, the back of his neck, his mouth, his chest, his belly; u touch and touch and touch

ur thumb, it lingers on his bottom lip

he says okay, he says okay, he says okay

he says okay, how do u process that?

ur eyes follow his fingers

ur eyes waver

u're looking between his eyes, his mouth, his neck; u don't know where to look

ur mouth is dry

u swallow

u're not breathing anymore

he can do anything for u

how do u process that?

he's reaching for ur buttons, what are u going to do?