I’ve spent the past 3 1/2 weeks trying to stop thinking about you. I don’t know if you even look at my profile anymore. But, I used dating apps to distract me (it didn’t work. I never kept talking to someone after the first few days cause they weren’t like you. They didn’t care about my thoughts). I even deleted our chat on here so I would stop looking at your profile every day. Didn’t work, I just searched your username up (like five mins ago) and went through everything I’ve missed.
I hope you’re doing okay though, ladybug. I hope things are going well for you. I hope you still have those plants your grandpa let you take care of and moved into that new house. I hope you’re not stressing yourself too much and not hurting yourself either. You gotta be careful, you’re a precious glass that looks strong (and is most of the time, but you don’t wanna land wrong). I hope you’re feeling a bit better. I know you said you found that book I made you... I don’t know when you posted that though, so I can’t really say for sure. Just... I want you to be happy. I hope this time hasn’t been as hard as the other times we’ve said goodbye.
I miss you a lot. Especially since things haven’t been too okay for me. I’ve been on the verge of an anxiety attack ever since I came back from NYC, so I’ve been trying really hard to get myself back together. But I really just want to never leave my room, to never turn the light on, and to never even talk. I just want to be nothing right now and I can’t. My grandma’s birthday is coming up soon, the 27th, so things are getting harder. I’m kind of hurting. Because I don’t have anyone to tell that to.
Oh, also, I deleted your playlist. I’m sorry. It was a moment when I thought I’d finally stopped thinking of you, that I didn’t need to see that and be reminded when I was finally letting go. So it’s gone. I’m sorry. I am thinking of you, so don’t think I did all of this in a mean way, I didn’t mean it that way. I just thought I was moving on. Not yet.
