#mutablebae

I store my darkest secrets deep. I most likely will never share with anyone my darkest secrets.

I also hold the big secrets of others. It can be a burden that I’m not yet ready to release.

I have instinctual fears surrounding intimacy. I’m very slow (Taurus Saturn) to open myself up completely.

I am deeply immersed in esotericism. I discovered astrology at a young age and was reintroduced to it when I was old enough to understand its true purpose.

My relationship with my father is emotionally strained.

It is very difficult for me to let go of someone when I’ve decided I love them.

I am very responsible and strict with my savings. My fear is not having options, and being extremely poor to where I have no savings to provide a cushion (Taurus Saturn)

To know I am not finished with this transit although Pluto is in Aquarius is a lot for me. Two more years of this bullshit.

I am doing the work. I have gone to therapy three times over the last couple years, working through trauma and old cycles. My most recent lesson turned affirmation is that “I am in control of my emotions”. So often I realized how many ppl close to me fed off my misery and my reactions to the point where I had to realize this myself. I can’t choose how people behave towards me but I can choose how to react. With a fire moon and mars, this has been my ultimate challenge especially in a home where I am constantly provoked, under surveillance or suffocated.

You don’t realize how many people feel so unimportant to you that they have to constantly cross your boundaries or provoked you for a confrontation that will empower them. That your reaction and anger fuels them and brightens up their day. You transfer your power over to them when you allow them access to your negative emotions. The minute they got under your skin, gives them a boost of energy. People who frown and pick at you until you blow up and you watch as suddenly a grin appears on their face. They are emotional vampires. Misery loves company.

Now imagine this being the people who know you behind closed doors. My family and home life has seriously been a thorn in my ass for so many years. My south node is in this house as well. I have felt as though my spiritual, professional and personal progress has been restricted due to my home life. I have felt like a nomad, seeking homes within others refuge for breaks.

Like this emoji 🥺 lmao

But we absolutely are a jealous sign romantically. I have not known ONE Pisces that doesn’t get angry when someone is chatting up their partner.

I think our transformations transpire because of pure rage. 8th house for Virgo Risings means our anger is hidden from others. This house is dark yes? So this seems to be insidious rage to me. Have you ever had a full blown meltdown in private? Or with those most intimate to you?

Do we store our negative emotions deep down in us until it is full and it erupts? Does clarity follow you afterwards? I encourage you to think back to the biggest transformations in your life, was there a huge fight that prompted this change? Maybe you were enraged and it was so overwhelming you decided to change yourself or your circumstances.

(Pisces mercury natives too tbh)

Write down your points before you confront somebody!!!!!!!!!!!! JOT IT DOWN BOO. People are so quick to gaslight us and allow a conversation about boundaries to escalate and get out of control to a full fledge argument. Often times, we wanted to have a mature conversation, and end up having our words/emotions be misconstrued or the faltering memory of examples of how others have been unfair against us. This is how people gain power in discussions against us and control the narrative to make us feel powerless.

Huge Emotional Pain Can Transform Pisceans

Pisceans love to love. We are the sign of unconditional love, our love runs deep. When we are introduced to something that we like, we attach to it. We make it our routine, we feel comfortable in it. We imagine our lives with it forever, all the scenarios and challenges, we dream it. We make a decision to settle in and make this our life.

So when this relationship starts falling apart, as sometimes relationships do, we start becoming confused or disillusioned. We become upset that our relationship is not matching the fantasy we imagined. So we begin to try to fix things. We fight to save our relationships. It’s why people often think we’re delusional because we can’t unattach easily from a toxic relationship. We cannot easily unattach from the things we dreamed about together. We would rather fight to defend that dream. We see the good in people first, therefore, we know what our partner could be. So we fight to fix that. We hold on tightly. It’s why we give chance after chance.

Yet, what a Pisces won’t say is that we are also fighting to avoid heartbreak and disappointment. You see when we finally decide to release someone (usually due to massive amounts of resentment from giving chance after chance), next comes the heartbreak. Pisces want to avoid disappointment because it’s akin to a knife stab in the heart for us. Looking at the wreckage of the thing that used to be so beautiful to us, the very thing that gave us hope.

Heartbreak for a water sign is DEVASTATING. Our emotions fuel our livelihood, it is our survival instinct, it fuels our behaviors and thoughts. Water signs feel emotional pain deeply, we are not able to separate our lives from our emotions the way other signs can. We feel everything deeply.

That is why when a Pisces faces heartbreak, it feels like death to us. It is so emotionally painful that you might as well kill us. Heartbreak is death to our hopes, our potential with another, what could’ve been, how we see people, etc. Once we face a heartbreak, there is usually a large transformation on the other side waiting for Pisces. We are different after heartbreak, there is a new person forming at the end.

Now who this new person is, is dependent on the Pisces. Young minded Pisces may choose to become darker, the more hurt they amass, they will choose to inflict onto others. They turn their heart off, and begin lying and emotionally manipulating others with little mercy similar to how our hearts were played with. Please note an evil Pisces is a hurt one. They will need to find the light on the other end of the tunnel in order to heal because this route will always leave the Pisces jaded and bitter. An angel whose wings shriveled during its time on earth.

The other route the Pisces will can choose is wisdom which is the reward for pain. The Pisces will be hardened by its experience but choose to harden the wall around its heart. The native will choose boundaries with strangers. Respect our boundaries or we will swim away. This is a smarter Pisces who understands that not everyone is deserving of its endless love and affection and therefore becomes selective with who it chooses to love. Our kindness will not be taken for weakness and we will move accordingly to the behavior others.

Facing heartbreaking situations will be devastating for a Pisces but one should embrace it. See heartbreaking situations as an opportunity to transform. But the choice is up to you whether you will choose to be wise or to be cold.