#multi-pov

The next time she’d felt it was when she’d gone grocery shopping with Ilya- on a quest to get the ingredients to make one of his favorite Russian dishes. It was a normal trip, nothing extraordinary. Until Ilya placed ginger ale in the shopping cart, then miso soup, then he searched the chocolate section until he found the cacao nibs Shane rarely bought- but she knew he loved. And Ilya knew that too. Ilya knew that these would bring comfort to Shane even as she made a meal for him. Safe foods. Ilya realized that these were some of Shane’s safe foods and although he’d try the Russian dish- it might just be too much for Shane. She’d had to walk ahead of him for a bit as the tears threatened. She’d always feared that no one would stay with Shane long enough to learn him- to learn what made him tick. And now she looked at a grocery basket with her son’s favorite things and she had not placed them there. No, his boyfriend had wordlessly shopped for him as if it was second nature. 

Months passed. She grew used to the two boys being in her life and watching their love blossom. The season was about to be upon them and it was likely the last weekend the boys would be in her home for a while. Even if they were both in town- she expected that they would be stealing away as much time with each other as possible. David had made a magnificent dinner and the boys offered to handle the dishes. She walked into a full blown water fight in her kitchen. Suds streaked the cabinets- both Ilya and Shane had water soaked shirts and they were laughing with each other- taunting- teasing. Ilya launched a sponge and it hit Shane square in the face, the soap getting into his eye. She braced, but she needn’t have worried. Ilya gently guided him to the sink and washed out the soap, Shane’s tension easing as the pain was washed away. A quick kiss and Ilya passed Shane a dry towel- motioning to dry off the room and he’d finish the dishes. She wished then that they would get a chance to do life together sooner, rather than later.  

Boston. She could not believe she was in fucking Boston watching the fucking Raiders as her son drug her along to one of Ilya’s games. They were working on the foundation this weekend, but first there was a game. She’d originally thought that they would stay at a hotel- watch the game from there and meet Ilya the next day. When Shane told her that Ilya had gotten them tickets- she’d nearly turned them down. Then she’d seen the look on his face- he really wanted this. He really wanted to be there for Ilya in one of his last games with Boston before everything changed. He hated change and while she was sure Ilya could stand it better- her son wanted to be there for him and she would be there for Ilya too. Ilya had played well and as Shane let himself into Ilya’s home- she found herself watching him. He was so excited to have time with Ilya- even if it was less than 48 hours and they had to work- he wanted to be here. He wanted to be with Ilya and she knew how rare it was that her boy longed to be with someone like this. 

Ilya’s birthday. Shane paced in front of her as he rambled about not knowing what to do for Ilya’s birthday. He wanted to do more than just a dinner. He wanted Ilya to be celebrated- something she’d learned had not happened in his family. Ilya was a means to an end there- nothing more and that tore at her heart. One look at Shane told her that it tore as his as well. Even though they’d slowly begun to be seen together in public- she knew that he couldn’t do what he really wanted- celebrate their love outloud. Her heart ached as she watched him try to find something- anything- that would be special to Ilya. That would speak to Ilya the way Shane so desperately wanted to. In a way that was not a secret- in a way that brought them light. She watched as he settled, settled for a birthday gift that was not everything he wanted it to be and her heart broke for them. Maybe, someday soon, this wouldn’t be their lives. 

Ilya moved to Ottawa later that summer- a two week road trip with Shane where they wove their way across Canada and she was sure soaked up time with each other. Now, one of her boys was home and Ilya became a staple in their home. David was out of town for his job? Ilya was staying for the week. They needed an extra hand to move furniture? He was in his car before she’d finished saying the words. Birthday? Presents arrived days before and he made reservations for a private dinner if Shane was out of town. Both her and David getting ill with the flu? He showed up with groceries and made soup. She’d asked him once why he did it- why he accepted them so completely. At first he had been confused, thought she was mad and she’d calmed him by saying that no one else Shane had dated had ever done this. And then his answer was simple- Shane was not here to care for them the way he wanted, so he stepped in and that he loved them. He loved them like the parents he wished he had. She was not sure who cried harder that night.