#muliu

The Peak Lords are shaken. Liu Qingge is furious. He demands to know what the cure is. It doesn’t matter, Mu Qingfang assures. It’s impossible, he tells them. But Liu Qingge pushes for more. He swears he’ll find the cure. And no matter how much Mu Qingfang insists he can’t, Liu Qingge insists. Finally, Shen Qingqiu blurts it out. True love’s kiss. Reciprocal pure love. Mu Qingfang looks away and won’t meet anyone’s eyes. As he said, he repeats, it’s unattainable.

But Liu Qingge won’t let it go. Mu Qingfang says it’s impossible and Liu Qingge insists it’s not. Who is it, he demands. They have time before Mu Qingfang falls asleep for good. Surely whoever it is can fall in love with Mu Qingfang before then, if they don’t love him already. The argument that breaks out only ends when, in a fit of heartbroken anger, Mu Qingfang snaps out, *“If you were going to love me, you’d have done it already.”* In the ensuing silence, Mu Qingfang gathers himself together and leaves the room with as much dignity as he can.

After a long stunned moment, Liu Qingge rushes after him. In a desperate attempt, he kisses Mu Qingfang, but it doesn’t work. Mu Qingfang just sighs sadly and smiles reassuringly to Liu Qingge that it’s okay. It’s not his fault. Love can’t be forced. Mu Qingfang has always known Liu Qingge didn’t feel the same, and that’s not Liu Qingge’s fault.

Liu Qingge, distressed, demands to know why Mu Qingfang never told him. Maybe if he’d known, maybe if he had time, maybe he’d love him enough now to save him. But Mu Qingfang shakes his head and says that telling him wouldn’t have changed anything. Knowing or not knowing, if Liu Qingge was going to love him, he would have. And it’s okay that he doesn’t. It’s not his fault.

But Liu Qingge shakes his head and, remembering what he’d said earlier, he restates that they have time—Liu Qingge can learn to love him in the time they have. Mu Qingfang thinks he’s wrong, but knows he won’t convince Liu Qingge otherwise. So Liu Qingge starts visiting Mu Qingfang more and more over the next month, trying desperately to love him enough. He keeps trying. Keeps kissing Mu Qingfang. Keeps learning all there is to know about Mu Qingfang. But it’s still not working, Mu Qingfang is sleeping more and more every passing day.

One day, when it’s close to the end and he has slept more than he’s awake, Mu Qingfang says that the curse is not really about love. It’s not romantic. And it’s really not Liu Qingge’s fault. Liu Qingge shouldn’t blame himself for failing. The curse is cruel. Reciprocal love? Why should it have to be reciprocal. Why can’t it just be love. Why does it have to be romantic? Love can’t be controlled. You don’t choose who you love, but the curse relies on it being perfectly returned. What does perfect love even mean?

And then one day, Mu Qingfang doesn’t wake up. And it breaks Liu Qingge inside. He couldn’t stop it. He can’t wake him up. He’s a failure all over again. Just like with Qingqiu.

He gets drunk. Sprawled out on the ground in front of Mu Qingfang’s bed in the room he’s be lain in, Liu Qingge cries. He thinks someone tries to talk to him. He’s not certain. It’s a blur. He hasn’t felt this hopeless since Shen Qingqiu died. But this time, there’s no one to fight. Just himself. The one that failed. There’s no body to retrieve. No mission to keep himself going.

Time passes. Liu Qingge doesn’t know how much. Just that time has passed and he’s still here, failing.

He’s slapped into awareness. Luo Binghe is in front of him, an unamused, hard expression settling on his face. “You’re scaring Shizun,” he says. Liu Qingge blinks at him. Luo Binghe just sighs and pulls back slightly. “Why are you giving up?” he demands. “Where is the war god that fought me every day for five years. Where is the Shishu I know. *Why aren’t you trying*.”

Liu Qingge is offended. There’s nothing less to try. He has. He *is.* No one to fight. He loves Mu Qingfang. He knows he does. But it’s not enough to break the curse. He doesn’t love him enough and he doesn’t know how to possibly love him more. He says as much.

Luo Binghe shoves him. “Because you’re too guilty,” he snarls. “*Pure* love. *Perfect*. That’s what the curse wants.” It’s not right, he tells him. It’s not Liu Qingge’s fault. It’s a cruel curse after all. Liu Qingge’s love is too clouded by guilt and anger and heartbreak to even begin to touch the curse. Too much resentment. Too much anguish. If Liu Qingge wants to break this curse, he has to try. He has to clean himself up, pull himself together, and start to forgive himself. It’ll be hard. There will be days when he’ll slip and hate himself again. But he has to keep going and keep learning to forgive himself. And someday, if he keeps trying, Mu Qingfang *will* wake up. He just has to keep trying.

They stare at each other for a long moment, before Luo Binghe shifts back again, stands up, and holds out a hand. “So are you ready to fight again?” Liu Qingge nods and takes the out stretched hand, stumbling to his feet. They don’t speak of this again, but something between them shifts that day. They might even be… friends eventually. But that’s a different story.

After cleaning himself up, Liu Qingge goes out to ask the Qian Cao disciples about a new care plan. Mu Qingfang planned to not wake up. He planned for his disciples to ease him into a peaceful final sleep. But Liu Qingge is determined. He wants to know how to care for Mu Qingfang until he wakes up. Because he will wake up. He has to believe it.

So the disciples outline a new care plan, eager to throw their Shizun’s instructions away and help their Shishu. They want their beloved teacher back just as much as Liu Qingge does. They help Liu Qingge care for the sleeping Mu Qingfang, help him watch over the sleeping figure. And slowly but surly, Liu Qingge works on forgiving himself. Every night, he kisses Mu Qingfang’s cheek, and every night he tells Mu Qingfang he’ll try again tomorrow.

mqf dissecting a rare plant when he stills and stares at the door: he did something stupid, didnt he

lqg barrels thru the door 1 second later, 2 broken bones, a head injury he got from trying to box a 16 legged razor finned octopus shark, and said carcass of the octopus shark being dragged behind him bc mqf mentioned it to him in passing

Like Mu Qingfang paralyzing Liu Qingge and still holding him down just in case to fix a particularly bad injury. And like it unlocks something in Liu Qingge's lizard brain. Maybe he starts purposely getting injured and being difficult just to feel it again.

Once Mu Qingfang realizes it (because how I write him he's not above underhanded tactics) he abuses it to make him take care of himself and stop sending his disciples into his peak.

I just think being held down would be like calming to Liu Qingge. It's probably some form of sexual to him. That's probably why I like LiuShang with stronger Shang Qinghua. There's just something about Liu Qingge being held down and him being so relaxed that he goes fuzzy in the head that's like CRACK to me!

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