#mtglore

The werewolves of Kessig have delivered an autumn ultimatum to their tailors: give us fall fashions which are transformation-friendly while remaining en flic.

“It’s a real problem,” said Arlinn Kord, leader of the spokespack. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said, ‘well, I should probably transform and save those orphans from the gitrog monster, but I’m wearing my favorite skinny jeans, and I don’t know if I can find another pair.’”

Kord said that flashy-yet-flexible waistlines could save lives.

“In the time that it takes me to undress, there’s another orphan gone,” she said. “But what am I going to do, wear mom jeans? This isn’t just about looking fabulous over 40. It’s a public safety issue.”

The problem doesn’t just impact fashion, said Melena Marl, a denmother of 12. It also harms family finances.

“I have a whole litter to clothe and feed,” Marl said, “let alone saving for college. I can’t afford to buy 12 new sets of britches every time there’s a full moon. It’s not fair to working packmoms.” Her haberdasher’s bill, Marl said, is “murder on the budget.”

“We’re living in a new, enlightened age,” Kord said. “One where modern werewolves should be able to slay on the catwalk as well as in the forest. I shouldn’t have to choose between saving Innistrad or shopping at Lands’ End. I should be able to have it all.”

“I worked too hard to become the alpha,” Kord told the Guardian, “to have to dress like a basic bitch.”

“Lost an important textbook? Craving some rare delicacy from home? Need something inconveniently forbidden? Enter Fain. He's got an extensive network of connections on and off campus, and he can procure just about anything—so long as you can afford his price.”

“Oh no- you’ve opened us up to universes…. beyond ™”