#ms48

he's so outgoing. he can talk to anyone, will talk to anyone. he could literally walk into a morgue and make a friend. you, on the other hand, do anything you can to avoid talking to new people because it makes you nervous. the idea of looking a stranger in the eye makes your heart rate increase at a concerning speed.

you're not a big party person for this exact reason. the idea of being crammed into a tiny house with music playing too loud, drunk teenagers everywhere, and no personal space sounds like hell to you.

and even though matt isn't a huge fan of the drinking part of it, he really likes the party scene.

he mostly goes so that he can hang out with his friends. often, parties are the only place that they all get together, and you understand that. he's the life of the party, too. funny, energetic, and charismatic, matt is like a magnet for fun. people love having him at their parties, and he loves going to them.

while you understand that, going to parties stresses you out. for the first few weeks of your relationship, whenever matt went to a party, you stayed home.

he never said anything, but you could tell. he wanted you to come with him, but he was doing his best to respect your wishes and what made you feel most comfortable.

eventually, you told him that you would come every once in a while. matt was ecstatic, so excited to bring you into his world.

it turns out you have more fun at parties, enjoy yourself more, when you're with someone that you love. matt always makes you laugh, makes you feel happy. so the usually overstimulating and upsetting environment of a house party became a lot more tolerable, and even fun at times, when you're with matt.

but only when you're with matt. you tried to go to a party with one of your friends one time, and wanted to leave immediately.

tonight, you really wanted to stay home with matt and watch a movie. the two of you haven't had much time to yourselves recently, and the very last thing you wanted was to go to a huge party where you had to share his attention with everyone else there.

but apparently one of his old friends from school, a kid named tommy, is in town and is going to be at this party, so he really wanted to go.

and since you wanted to spend tonight with him, you're going too.

the music is already playing loud when you arrive, the house practically shaking with the reverb. you cringe, but hide it from matthew. the two of you are holding hands as you walk into the place.

he can't find tommy for the first hour, so the two of you walk around talking to other people. matt never leaves your side, never lets go of your hand.

when he's talking to other people, you lean on his arm, bury your face in his bicep. the music is so loud, and everybody's yelling to be heard over it. bodies are jostling all around you, and you desperately wish that you'd been able to convince matt to stay home tonight, meet up with tommy for brunch tomorrow or something, anything.

but then he locates tommy, and they do the stereotypical bro-hug that every guy does whenever he interacts with any other guy. you smile a bit, endeared by matt's big, goofy smile, and the way they're just so guy.

"we should find somewhere quiet," matt shouts over the music. "to catch up!"

tommy nods, and the three of you wander around for a bit, until you find the door to the backyard. matt opens it, letting you out first, and you let out a sigh of relief at the silence, at the cold air cooling your sweat-soaked skin.

matt finds a fire pit with a small fire already going, surrounded by a few camping chairs. you plop down in one, and matt sits down in the one next to you, immediately beginning to stoke the fire.

"so, tommy, how you been doing, man?" matt asks.

as soon as they start talking, you feel glad that you decided to come. matt is so clearly excited to be reunited with his old friend, one of his oldest friends, actually. there's a lot of pressure on him, being a rookie in the nhl, he's just got a lot on his shoulders a lot of the time. he says he feels most relaxed when he's with you, which always makes you happy, but you wish that he had other people who made him feel that way, because the two of you aren't always able to be together.

you've met tommy once before, back when you and matt were still just friends. now, as his girlfriend, you can appreciate how tommy makes him feel happy, excited.

but then you start thinking.

you're not extroverted. at all. in any sense of the word. you've always been pretty shy, preferred to keep to yourself. matt is extroverted, is always talking to somebody, trying to make new friends.

this is a thought you've had before, and it's certainly not going to be the last time you think it.

he would probably be happier with someone more like him. someone that wanted to go out, go to parties. instead of always wanting to stay in, cuddle and watch movies.

god, you think. he must be so bored with me.

you hurt your own feelings with thoughts like these, and you know that, but you just can't help it sometimes.

matt is in the middle of talking, telling a funny story about one of matt martin's daughters, animatedly talking with his hands about the time winnie and alice surprised him with breakfast in bed but ended up dropping the toast on his stomach.

you let out a sad little sigh, your lip wobbling, trying your best to calm yourself down.

but then he stops. tommy keeps looking at him, confusion on his face.

matt turns to you, a soft smile on his face. "i love you," he looks away for a second, before making eye contact again. the look on his face is so... happy, so loving. "just... by the way,"

and then he goes back to telling the story to tommy.

that's the first time either of you has said those three words to each other, and he did it so casually. as if he could read your mind, and wanted to reassure you, but in the most nonchalant way possible.

your mind is spinning, your mouth dropped open in shock. he just... he just said it. like the thought occurred to him right in that moment, and he wanted to share.

you don't get the chance to say it back, because the conversation keeps going, and you don't feel comfortable jumping in just to profess your love to your boyfriend.

oh my god.

a while later, you and matt are leaving. he says his goodbyes to all his friends, your hands clasped comfortingly together. he's acting casual still, as if he didn't just single-handedly advance your relationship in the best way possible.

your heart is racing as you approach the car. he goes to open your door, but you stop him.

he gives you a questioning look, and you almost back out, but you don't.

you surge up on your tiptoes, kissing him. he lets a surprised breath out of his nose, before melting into it. your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer, and matt rests his hands lovingly on your hips.

when you pull back, matt looks... shocked. you're not usually one for pda, especially something as bold as what you just did.

"i love you," you blurt. your cheeks heat at your suddenness, but you're smiling, wide. "um. i love you. too. by the way,"

matt's face breaks into a huge smile, and he pulls you into a tight hug. the two of you sway back and forth for a minute, before he kisses you on both cheeks, then opens the passenger side door for you.

the drive back is fully of giddy little giggles, soft smiles, and both of your hearts feeling like they're going to explode from happiness.

you remind yourself that matt wouldn't be with you if he didn't like you, if he didn't enjoy spending time with you. as much as that's hard for you to believe sometimes, it's true.

now, you can remind yourself that he loves you. and you love him back.

a/n: thank you for the request lovely! i feel like i didn't quite do it justice, but i think this is cute enough (: first thing for matthew schaefer! thank you especially for sending in a request for him, he's such a cutie! thank you to everyone who reblogs, comments, likes, and follows me, you're all my favorites! have an amazing day/night!

alice is slower, clutching at her stuffed rabbit tightly as she walks up to you and stops, looking up with serious curiosity. she wasn't exactly shy, just observant, and trying to decide what kind of person you are.

matthew straightens slightly and reaches back for your hand, pulling you forward without making it a thing, just folding you into the moment as if you already belong there.

"okay," he says, glancing between you and the kids, a small smile tugging at his mouth. "you remember what i told you last time, right?"

both of the girls nod immediately.

"this is my girlfriend," he says, and there's a faint amusement and warmth in his voice, like he still doesn't quite believe he gets to say it out loud so casually. "the one i told you about."

winnie gasps. "hi!"

alice tilts her head. "can you build forts?"

you crouch slightly so you're closer to their level, "of course i build forts!"

that seems to settle everything immediately, and alice making up her mind about you, deciding to trust you since matthew liked you so much...and because you build forts.

winnie grabs your hand, "okay good, we need a big one."

one moment you're standing in the living room, and the next there are blankets being dragged everywhere, cushions being pulled from the couches, and chairs being shifted around with a determined urgency as if the girls had been waiting to do this all day.

winnie is directing everything, putting herself in a management position. alice is already lining up her stuffed animals along the floor, assigning them roles with absolute seriousness -- one is "security," another is "lookout," and her rabbit is "very important."

matthew is involved too, holding one side of a sheet up while winnie insists it must "hang it like a waterfall, but it shouldn't fall," which he accepts with a mock seriousness like it's a completely reasonable requirement.

you fall into it without thinking too hard about it, adjusting a cushion so nothing tips, tucking a blanket edge so it actually stays in place, and smoothing out the structure when it starts sagging in one corner.

"you've done this before, haven't you," matthew says at one point, watching you fix something without hesitation.

"i may have had my fair share of building forts," you reply.

winnie points at you immediately. "she's smart. she's good at this."

matthew looks over at you, amused. "yeah," he says simply. "she is."

he said it lightly, but it still lingers anyway.

the fort slowly takes shape -- uneven, slightly chaotic in structure of cushions and blankets, and a small tunnel forming between the couch seats.

matthew croushes to adjust one corner that keeps slipping, and his arm brushes yours briefly as he steadies the fabric. neither of you moves away from it immediately.

winnie claps suddenly. "okay! inside. movie time."

the fort transforms from a mini construction site to a cinema in seconds. cushions are rearranged into "proper seating positions," and stuffed animals are lined up like more audience members. alice takes charge of snacks with intense focus, carefully guarding the bowl of popcorn like it requires protection.

matthew disappears for a moment and returns with snacks he knows you like, ducking carefully under the blanket entrance. "alright," he says, handing things out. "we're good. let's start the movie."

you follow him inside, ducking under the low blanket roof, and the world immediately softens -- light dimming, and everything narrowing into the fabric walls and warm space.

inside, it's cramped but comfortable in the way only forts manage to be. winnie sits front and centre, already completely focused on the movie playing. alice slides closer to you without hesitation, pressing into your side, and her stuffed rabbit tucked carefully into her lap. you adjuse the blanket around her automatically whenever it slips off her, matthew noticing every time.

he settles on the other side of you, knees drawn in slightly. "this is my favourite cinema already," he says.

winnie immediately shushes him. "quiet. watching."

"sorry," he says seriously, then immediately leans back.

winnie narrates the opening of the movie under her breath, completely invested. alice watches silently, still leaning into you. you absently keep the blanket tucked around her when it shifts again.

matthew is partly paying attention to the movie, most of his attention being on you in a quieter way he thinks you won't notice. he sees the way you keep taking care of alice, and how you pay attention to winnie.

another smile tugs at his mouth. "you're really goos at this," he whispers to you.

"at movies?" you ask softly.

"at them," he says simply. "at this. with them. you just...fit in well."

before you can answer, winnie is already narrating the movie under her breath again, alice shifting closer into your side and starting to fall asleep.

matthew leans back into the cushions, popcorn forgotten for a moment, looking around at the fort he helped build -- bus mostly at the way you're already part of everything.

inside the blanket walls, everything feels small and warm, and slightly chaotic in the best way. snack crumbs, whispered reactions, and a fort that is barely holding itself together, but somehow feels just right.

The first time Matthew met you, he wasn’t sure what to expect. Yes, he knew Sydney Martin had a younger sister around his age. Yes, he knew said sister was a popstar. He’d seen enough press about you online to know that you existed, but Matthew had never met you in person before. To be fair, he had only been living with the Martins for a few months, while you had been out touring the country.

He’d heard plenty about you though. Mostly about how Winnie and Alice absolutely adore you. They’d told him countless stories about how you play dress up with them, how you have movie nights together, even how you bought them mini instruments because they want to be just like you. In the eyes of Alice and Winnie Martin, you’re their entire world.

So when the Martin girls said they wanted Matthew to go with them to your New York show, he knew he couldn’t say no,

Standing in the crowd with the Martin family, Matthew stood holding Winnie, Matt holding Alice. As every second passed, the boy became even more amazed. While he wasn’t too familiar with concerts, as most of his childhood has been focused on hockey, he knew enough to know that the show in front of him was incredible.

The way the lights flashed an array of colors before his eyes, the way the set pieces changed, the way the instruments filled the atmosphere: it was all incredible. But most importantly, you were incredible.

In Matthew’s eyes, it was undeniable. The power behind your voice as you glided effortlessly across the stage was captivating. You never second guessed a step, never missed a note. You were perfect on stage, and Matthew couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

After the show, Matthew followed the Martin family backstage, where you had told them to wait when the show ended. He had sat himself down on a small sofa when he heard the excited shouts of Alice and Winnie.

Matthew looked up, and you were there, walking down the hallway towards them. Hair and makeup still looking pristine, it appeared that you had just gotten offstage.

Alice and Winnie ran to your open arms. You picked them up and spun them around a couple times, the action eliciting giggles from them, before setting them back down on the ground.

“I missed you both so much,” you tell them as you kneel to their level, tucking a strand of hair behind Winnie’s ear. “My favorite girls, I’m so happy to see you,” you whisper softly, pulling them back into a tight hug.

The three of you swayed back and forth before you pulled back, pressing a kiss to each girl's cheek. You stood up and walked to your sister and her husband, engulfing the two in a quick hug.

“Thank you guys so much for coming, it means the world to me, seriously,” you say as you pull back to catch your breath.

As you do that, you notice a fifth figure standing awkwardly towards the side of the Martin family. He looked to be around your age, and he was extremely cute. Immediately, it clicked in your mind: Matthew Schaefer.

Your sister had mentioned that the rookie defenseman was living with them. You didn’t know too much about him, but Sydney had told you that he was around your age and that the girls adored him.

“You must be Matthew,” you say, smiling as you walk over to him, extending your hand outwards. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

As Matthew is shaking your hand, he swears his brain short circuits. He tries to come up with a clever response, but can only muster up a meek “You too.”

He realizes he’s still holding your hand, and immediately drops it, trying to cover up his awkwardness with a quick compliment to the show.

“Great show by the way,” he says, pausing as he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “I don’t know how to describe it but it was really good.”

The second the words leave his mouth, he wants to physically launch himself into the nearest wall. Really good? That’s what he came up with?

You don’t seem to mind though. If anything, your smile grows, and Matthew swears his heart skips a beat. “Really good?” you reply teasingly.

He lets out an embarrassed laugh, relieved that you’re joking about his awkward mishaps. “Yeah, okay that sounded really stupid now that you said it.”

He hears Sydney try and cover up a laugh and he knows he’s beyond saving. He’s only known you for maybe two minutes and he’s already made a fool of himself.

He takes a quick breath and clears his throat. “I meant,” he tries again, “that the whole thing was kinda insane. Like, the lights, and the dancing, and the singing, obviously. You sounded really good.”

You hold his gaze for a second longer than necessary. “Thanks, Matthew.”

Before Matthew can think of another painfully awkward thing to say, Winnie tugs on your hand.

“Did you see me singing?” she asks excitedly.

“Of course I did,” you say, shifting your attention towards your niece. “You were the best performer in the crowd.”

The girls giggle and cling to your side while you talk to them, and Matthew can’t help but watch the interaction quietly. The way you speak to the girls is so natural, like there’s no place in the world you’d rather be than with them.

After several minutes of being with your family, you announce that it’s time for you to head back to your dressing room. After bidding your family farewill, you turn to head back in the direction you came from. You take several steps before you turn around with a quick “bye Matthew,” before you disappear down the hallway.

Matthew feels the heat rise to his cheeks and hopes none of the Martin family members notice. He thinks he’s in the clear, as he can hear Matt talking to his daughters. Unfortunately for him, Sydney Martin has always been too observant for her own good, especially when it comes to her younger sister.

***

A couple weeks later, your tour had just wrapped up. You were staying at the Martin house for the next few weeks, per Sydney’s request, to unwind before you needed to start working on your next album.

Matt and Matthew were gone when you arrived, but your sister and the girls were thrilled to see you. Winnie and Alice immediately pulled you into the living room to show you the game they were playing.

When Matthew walked through the door a few hours after your arrival, he heard an extra voice that didn’t belong to Sydney, Alice, or Winnie. Upon walking further into the house, he was met with the unexpected sight of you sitting on the couch with the girls, decked out in a baggy t-shirt and sweats, bare face and hair in a messy bun. Matthew swears you somehow look even more beautiful in this form than when he saw you all glammed out at your concert.

He had no idea you were gonna be here. He had no idea how long you were gonna be here. Hell, he had no idea why you were even here, not that he minded, of course. It wasn’t until Sydney shot him a playful look, silently gesturing with her head to talk to you.

When Matthew approached the living room, your face immediately lit up in recognition.

“Hi,” you say, smiling up at him from your spot on the couch.

“Hey,” he says, trying his absolute best to sound normal despite the way his brain completely blanks for a second. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“Suprise,” you joke lightly.

Winnie tilts her head up to look at Matthew. “Auntie’s staying with us!”

“Only for a few weeks,” you add.

Matthew nods slowly, trying to cover up the fact that this information throws him completely off balance. “Oh, cool,” he says before silently cringing to himself.

From the kitchen, Sydney has to bite her cheek to stop herself from laughing.

“Matthew, sit,” Alice says as she suddenly pats the empty spot on the couch next to you.

“Auntie Y/N can do your hair too!” Winnie exclaims, her face lighting up with excitement at the thought of getting to hang out with her two favorite people. 

The girls continue giggling while Matthew finally gives in and sits down beside you, careful not to crush the pile of ribbons, clips, bows, and rubber bands that has accumulated on the couch.

“Don’t worry,” you tell him, glancing over briefly. “I’ll spare you the makeover.”

“Thank you, truly,” he says with a laugh.

“Although,” you add thoughtfully, “you could totally pull off wearing some Islanders colored bows to your games.”

Before he even has the chance to respond, you continue. “Do you know how to braid hair?” you ask, shifting your body to face him.

Matthew shook his head.

“Here, I’ll show you.”

You shift slightly on the couch so you’re facing him more directly, gesturing Alice to climb into your lap. 

Matthew watches as you begin separating Alice’s hair into three even pieces.

“It’s actually pretty easy once you get the hang of it,” you explain. “You just take one piece, cross it over the middle, then do the same thing on the other side.”

Matthew stares at the braid magically forming between your fingers. “I think you lost me already,” he says, puzzled at how easy you’re making it seem.

You laugh softly before undoing the braid in Alice’s hair. “Come here,” you say as you reach over to grab one of Winnie’s larger dolls.

Your hands brush as you hand the doll off to him, and for a second, neither of you move. As you look into his eyes, you notice how normal you feel with him. He doesn’t feel threatened by you, he doesn’t put up an act to impress you, he doesn’t try to demean you with the hyper-feminine dumb blonde jokes you had grown used to. There’s something so refreshing about him. Nobody outside of your family has ever really treated you like a normal teenager until now, and in this moment, you never want this feeling of normalness to go away.

“Auntie,” Alice whines from in front of you, eyeing you impatiently, “My hair.”

You immediately pull your hand back, laughing as heat creeps up your cheeks. Beside you, Matthew is settling the doll in the space in front of him, awkwardly fiddling with it to cover up how flustered he is.

“Right. Hair lesson,” you say as you take hold of Alice’s hair, using her as the example for Matthew to follow. “You just need to section it off in three pieces.”

For the next several minutes, you patiently walk him through each step while he creates what can only be described as the most atrocious braid you’ve ever seen. It makes you glad you had him practice on the doll instead of one of the girls.

When he finally finishes, he holds the doll up proudly. “There.”

The two of you stare at Matthew’s attempted braid, neither of you able to string together the words to describe it. Matthew is the one to break the silence. “It doesn’t really look like yours.”

You let out a loud laugh at that, and the sound pulls a smile to his face as he turns his attention towards you. 

From the kitchen, Sydney peeks around the corner to catch a glimpse of the scene. Her younger sister is curled into the couch laughing harder than she has in months, and Matthew is grinning despite his poor attempt at a braid.

When Matt walks into the kitchen, he is immediately met with a look from his wife, as she gestures with her eyes towards the scene unfolding in the living room.

He raises his eyebrows at her, and Sydney nods her head slowly. The pair remain silent throughout the entire interaction, as to not disrupt the moment between the two teenagers.

Meanwhile, neither you nor Matthew notice the silent conversation unfolding behind you guys. You’re too focused on reaching over to grab the doll from Matthew’s hands in an attempt to fix the disaster of a braid he created.

“Here,” you say softly. “Let me show you again.”

Matthew watches as your fingers work through the doll’s hair with steady movements, and for the first time since being drafted, since moving away from home, since navigating playing in the NHL as a rookie, everything feels surprisingly simple. 

***

You’ve been staying with the Martins for nearly 4 weeks now, and it’s been the best 4 weeks of your life. You’ve enjoyed spending time with your sister and her husband and admiring the beautiful life they’ve created for themselves. You’ve also enjoyed spending time with Winnie and Alice, who have made you play countless hours of princess games and dress up.

But the most surprising thing you’ve enjoyed these past several weeks has been getting to know Matthew Schaefer. Not that you expected him to be poor company or anything, but you never expected life to feel so easy around him. It surprises you how even the most miniscule moment with Matthew can turn into hours of laughter, how being in his orbit makes you want to come out of your shell. 

It’s not that you were shy, or anything. That would make your job as a popstar a lot more difficult. But after finding out that most of your ‘friends’ only wanted to be in your orbit for your fame and your money, you’ve become a lot less willing to leave the comfort of your bed to meet people.

But with Matthew, it’s different. When you’re with him, you want to go out and create fun memories together. The two of you find yourselves going on walks around the neighborhood at night or buying cheap fast food to eat in his car. He’s even tried to teach you hockey once, something you swore you’d never do because of how unathletic and uncoordinated you can be.

All of these moments you’ve had with Matthew swirl through your head as you sit on the floor of your room, strumming your guitar. You weren’t supposed to be writing right now. You swore you were gonna take a well deserved break after your tour, and for the most part, you had stuck to that promise, until three nights ago.

The melody appeared out of nowhere, and you had been humming it around the house all day. Then, as you were trying to fall asleep, came a lyric.

‘You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless.’

You had immediately scrambled for your phone on the nightstand, adding the new lyric idea to your notes app so you wouldn’t forget it.

Now, three days later, you were still trying to piece together a song you don’t even know the meaning of.

Your fingers absentmindedly strum the same chord progression again. “You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless,” you sang quietly. The words hung in the air for a moment before you let out a sigh. You liked the one singular lyric you had, but you had no idea what direction this song was even going in.

Your gaze drifted towards the window, where you watched two raindrops racing towards the bottom. All of a sudden, another memory with Matthew surfaced.

Three weeks ago, Matthew had somehow convinced you to go for a walk despite the fact that it was pouring rain. By the end of the day, both of you had been completely soaked, and it had been one of the most thrilling times you’d had in years.

Your fingers stilled on the strings as you got lost in your thoughts.

When you were with Matthew, nothing extraordinary ever happened. You weren’t attending award shows or red carpets or after parties with him. Most nights, you found yourselves eating greasy fast food in his car or watching Disney movies on the couch. It was moments like these where you noticed that the world felt brighter with Matthew, and you didn’t think life could get any better.

An idea popped into your head, and you immediately grabbed your notebook.

‘And I don’t know how it gets better than this.’

You stared at the words for a moment before a grin spread across your face. Excitement filled your chest as you repositioned your fingers on your guitar. You played the chord progression, sang the new line, and then followed it with the line you had already written.

“And I don’t know how it gets better than this. You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless.”

You smiled to yourself as you finally saw the pieces of the song come together.

Without thinking, your mind drifted back to Matthew once again. You thought about how he could always convince you to do things you normally wouldn’t. All of a sudden, your nights didn’t consist of isolating yourself in your room, rejecting people’s offers to go out. With Matthew, you wanted to be spontaneous, have fun, and that truly felt freeing.

All of a sudden, your pen moved before you could stop it. 

‘And I don’t know why, but with you…’

You paused. With you… what?

Your eyes landed on the raindrops against the windowpane. A smile tugged at your lips as you got your answer. 

‘I’d dance in a storm…’

You quickly scribbled your thoughts, adding the rest as fast as you could.

‘In my best dress, fearless.’

Silence filled the room. You looked down at the completed chorus, then played through it once, then twice, then several more times. 

You leaned back against your bed, unable to stop smiling. The song was supposed to be about falling in love with someone who made you feel brave. Someone who made ordinary moments feel magical. Someone who made you want to take chances. Someone who made you fearless.

You stared down at the lyrics, then immediately groaned because unfortunately for you, there was only one person in your life that fit that description. And that person was currently downstairs eating leftover pizza, completely unaware that he’d managed to weave his way into your next album.

***

The Martin house felt strangely quiet for a Saturday afternoon. Normally, Winnie and Alice could be heard tearing through the hallways, finding ways to rope everyone into whatever elaborate game they had created. But today, the girls were downstairs waiting by the door, ready for their long awaited play date they had been begging for.

You were sitting cross legged on your bed when you heard a quick knock on your door before it opened. You glanced up to find Sydney in the doorway, car keys dangling in hand.

“Matt and I are about to drop the girls off at Emma’s,” she said. Then, we’re gonna run a few errands afterwards.”

You nodded absentmindedly. “Okay.”

You turned your attention back towards your phone, expecting Sydney to leave. When she remained still, you looked up, confused. “What?”

“That’s it?” she asked, almost as if she was appalled by your lack of interest. “You know, most kids would be thrilled to have the house to themselves for a few hours.”

“I’ll keep myself busy, don’t worry,” you say, setting your phone down to look up at your sister.

As Sydney sits on the bed, ready to lecture you on how important it is to live your teenage years to the fullest, something catches your attention that gets your heart racing. There on the foot of your bed, right next to where your sister was seated, was your open notebook with the lyrics of Fearless on full display.

You try to sit up and grab it before your sister notices it, but you’re too late. You watch as the most horrifying chain of events unfold. Her hand brushes it, she looks at it, she picks it up, and worst of all, she reads it, and you feel like your life is over.

She looks over at you with a grin on her face. “This is sweet”

“It wasn’t meant to be read by anyone yet,” you reply sheepishly.

“Then don’t leave it open.”

“It was in my room.”

“It was in my house.” 

That earns a glare from you. The woman was married with kids. Surely, she had better things to do than to torment her younger sister.

The teasing smile on her face softened slightly as she looked at you. She closed the notebook and moved a couple inches closer to where you were sitting.

“You know he likes you too, right?”

You shook your head. “Sydney…”

“Y/N.” The two of you stared at each other for a moment before Sydney continued. “I’m serious. I’ve watched that boy for weeks now. I’ve seen the way he looks at you when you aren’t paying attention. I’ve seen him try and find every possible excuse to hang out with you. I mean, seriously. The kid sat through three hours of that baking show you like just so he could sit next to you.”

“He likes the baking show.”

“No, he doesn’t. He likes that you like it because he likes you.”

You sat with that statement for a second before you shifted your gaze towards your notebook.

“Can I ask you something?”

You nod slowly, preparing for the impending doom of Sydney wanting to know the nitty gritty of your feelings for Matthew.

“What’s the song about?”

For a moment, you consider lying. That the song was just a fully fictional scenario you made up in your head. Or maybe it was written through the lens of a character in a TV show you like. But then you remember that you’re talking to the girl who knows you like the back of her hand.

“It’s about liking someone who makes you feel brave,” you explain quietly. “Like they make everything feel less scary. They make you do things you normally wouldn’t.”

Sydney was silent for a moment before a smile took over her face. “Like they make you fearless?”

You groaned immediately. “Please stop quoting my lyrics.”

“I can’t help it,” she says while laughing.

After a moment, Sydney’s expression turned gentler.

“Y/N,” she started. “You wrote a song about how love makes you brave.”

You look down at your hands and fiddle with your blanket.

“Maybe it’s time you actually listened to it.”

Knowing where this conversation was headed, your chest tightened.

“If Matthew inspires you to write a song named Fearless, then be fearless. Tell him.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke. Then, Matt’s voice rang from downstairs. “Syd! We gotta go.”

“Coming!” Sydney then stood up and grabbed her keys. Before she left, she paused in the doorway and looked at you. “Just think about it, okay?”

Then she was gone, leaving you alone in your room.

It was funny. You’d written an entire song about finding courage because of someone else, but the mere thought of walking downstairs and telling that person how you felt made your stomach twist in knots.

You thought of every way out. You could pretend the conversation with Sydney never happened. You could wait until you actually feel fearless to talk to him. You could release the song and lie about its origins. 

But there was a nagging voice in your brain telling you that if you didn’t do it now, you’d never do it.  So, before you could lose your short burst of courage, you began rehearsing everything that you would say, trying to perfect it to the best of your ability on such short notice. When you were somewhat satisfied with what you’d come up with, you stood up and made your way downstairs.

Matthew was exactly where you expected him to be, seated on the couch watching an old hockey game. He looked up when he heard your footsteps, his expression quickly turning into a gentle smile.

“Hey,” he said as he patted the empty space next to him.

The two of you sat in silence for the next several minutes, eyes glued to the hockey game. Silence between you two wasn’t uncommon, nor was it ever uncomfortable, but knowing what conversation was about to unfold made the silence feel agonizing on your end.

Matthew seemed to notice how your eyes are glued to your hands, something he’s learned you only do when you’re too nervous to say something.

“You okay?”

You looked up to find him studying your face with gentle concern. You considered lying to him. To tell him that you’re just tired, or just stressed about writing a new album, or literally anything else. Instead, you let out a nervous laugh.

“Not really.”

At those words, his smile faded lightly.

“What’s wrong?”

You hesitated, forgetting everything you’d rehearsed upstairs. Sydney made this whole ‘being fearless’ thing sound a lot easier than it actually was.

“There’s something I wanted to tell you, actually,” you quietly admitted.

Matthew immediately muted the TV, giving you his full attention. He didn’t try to rush you, didn’t try to interrupt you. He just waited for you to talk on your own terms.

“I had this whole speech planned,” you tell him. “I practiced it in my room like five different times.”

He smiled, waiting for you to continue.

“These past few weeks…” you began, voice quieter now, “have been some of my favorite weeks in a really long time.”

Matthew’s expression softened upon hearing this.

“I know I don’t talk about this a lot, and I know I should be grateful for the life I have, but it can be really difficult. I constantly have people telling me how to look, how to talk, how to just exist, because my authentic self isn’t what people want. I never know if the people in my life like me for me or if they like me for my name.”

You looked down at your hands before continuing.

“So, when I came here after the tour, I was ready to take a break. I figured I’d spend time with my family, hide from the world, and then eventually go back to work.”

You paused, searching for the right words. Somehow, this part felt more difficult, more vulnerable than admitting you liked him.

“But, then I met you.”

You looked up and locked eyes with him. You took a grounding breath before continuing.

“You never expected anything from me. You never cared whether I was dressed up, or if my hair and makeup were done. You never treated me like this… famous entity that people just want to look at and be near. You’ve always treated me like a normal person.”

You broke the eye contact the two of you had been holding, opting to look back down at your hands.

“I don’t think you realize how rare that is.” The words came out much softer than you intended.

“I’ve spent so much of my life wondering if people actually like me, or if they just like the benefits that come with having me around. It’s exhausting never knowing the difference.”

You glanced back up at him.

“But with you, I’ve never had to wonder.”

Matthew swallowed, his expression becoming unreadable.

“I can sit in sweatpants eating fast food in your car, I can make fun of your hockey skills-”

“My hockey skills?” he interrupted with a laugh.

“You know what I mean.”

He smiled sheepishly, gesturing for you to continue.

“With you I can be tired, I can be quiet. I can just exist. And somehow, that’s enough for you.”

You paused to look at him again before continuing. 

“I don’t know exactly when it happened, but somewhere between our fast food runs, and our neighborhood walks, and our really unsuccessful hockey lessons, I started looking forward to every day because I knew I’d get to spend it with you.”

Matthew smiled.

“I still think you could’ve made a decent defenseman.”

“I managed to high stick myself,” you say as you laugh off your nerves.

“Only twice,” he replies.

“That’s two times too many.”

The joke momentarily settled some of the tension in the room. You looked down at your hands before continuing.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is…” you paused, gathering every ounce of courage you had left. “I like you.”

Matthew didn’t move. For a second, he simply stared at you, as if he hadn't processed your words yet. Your mind immediately assumed the worst, fearing that you ruined one of the best things in your life.

“You… what?”

You let out a nervous laugh, panic coursing through your veins now. “I, uh, like you?”

Another beat passed before Matthew let out a laugh, his hand going to cover up his face.

“Oh my God.”

Your stomach dropped at his words.

“What?” you ask, absolutely terrified for your life now.

“I thought I was imagining all of this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I kept thinking that you were just being nice.” He laughed softly, shaking his head. “That all the late night drives and walks and everything… that they were just something you would’ve done with anyone.”

You smiled and shook your head. 

“They weren’t,” you assured him, the words coming out far easier than you expected. “I wanted them to be with you.”

“I’ve liked you since your concert,” he tells you through the largest grin.

Immediately, your eyebrows shot up.

“It’s true,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, the show was great, don’t get me wrong. But I think it happened when I met you backstage, and you weren’t anything like what I expected.”

You tilted your head. “What did you expect?”

He thought about it for a second. “I don’t know… a popstar I guess? You know, media trained, knows what to say, where to look, how to pose for the camera. I figured meeting you would feel rehearsed I guess. Like a photo-op.”

“And instead?” you asked.

“You were just… normal.”

You laughed. “I don’t think anyone’s ever said that about me before.”

“I mean it in the best way. You talked to me like a normal person. You laughed at my terrible jokes. Being with you just felt natural. It felt easy.”

You looked down at your hands before laughing quietly. “I can’t believe we’ve spent the last month convinced that the other didn’t feel the same.”

“We’re kind of idiots,” Matthew added.

“Just a little.”

He hesitated a moment before looking back at you.

“So…”

“So?”

“Would it be okay if I held your hand?” he asked.

You smiled before reaching over and intertwining your fingers with his.

***

Nearly two years ago, Matthew had stood in a sold out arena wondering what it must be like to be you. He watched bright flicker across the stage and listened to fans sing every lyric back to you. He thought you looked larger than life itself beneath the spotlights, untouchable and flawless.

Now, as he stood in the crowd again, he stood there knowing the real you.

To everyone else, you were a popstar. But to him, you were the girl that stole fries off of his plate because they tasted better than her own. The girl who laughed until she cried when she was with her nieces. The girl who sat on the kitchen counter while he made grilled cheeses in the middle of the night.

The arena erupted as the final notes of a song faded away. Matthew watched you leave the stage for a quick change as the lights dimmed. A few moments later, the sounds of an acoustic guitar echoed through the arena.

When the lights came back on, Matthew’s breath caught.

Instead of coming out in one of the glittery dresses you usually wore for this song, you stood onstage wearing an Islanders jersey. His jersey, to be specific, with his last name on the back being showcased on the big screen.

Matthew buried his face in his hands as laughter escaped him. He could hear the fans in the room get noticeably louder, he could feel Matt Martin clap him on the shoulder. But most importantly, he could see you looking in his direction from the stage.

You laughed into the microphone, waiting for the cheers to settle. “I figured some of you might recognize the name,” you said as you adjusted your guitar.

“I wrote this next song during a time when I swore off writing. I was supposed to be taking a break after my last tour, but sometimes, life has other plans.”

The arena fell quiet as you began to talk.

“I met someone who reminded me what it felt like to be myself. Someone who never expected me to be anything other than who I am.”

Matthew could feel his heart pounding against his ribs as he listened to you talk.

“So…” you continued, smiling as you adjusted the sleeve of the jersey. “I’d like to dedicate this next song to the person whose name is on my back.”

Your eyes met his one last time as the crowd began to roar.

“Thank you for making me fearless.”

With that, the sounds of your guitar filled the arena.

Matthew had heard this song dozens of times before. He’d listened to this song at every stage. He heard it in the Martin house when you were first writing the song. He’d heard the countless demos in your apartment. He’d heard the final recording of it when he went to the studio with you. He even listened to the song when he was travelling for games.

But nothing compared to hearing it live. Every lyric brought him back to your time at the Martin house. To rainy walks around the neighborhood, to late-night fast food runs, to the afternoon you finally admitted that you liked him.

After the show, the familiar backstage hallway felt strangely nostalgic. It was the same hallway where he’d met you for the very first time. The same couch he’d sat on awkwardly while waiting for you. Same walls, same dressing rooms, same everything.

But this time, things couldn’t be more different.

“Matthew!”

He turned just in time to see you hurrying down the hallway, still wearing the Islanders jersey over your stage outfit. The second you reached him, you wrapped your arms around his neck.

His arms instinctively found your waist. “You wore my jersey,” he said while laughing.

“I did.”

You pulled back just enough to look at him.

“So… what’d you think?” you asked your boyfriend.

He pretended to think for a second, pressing his lips together dramatically.

“It was really good.”

You stared at him for exactly one second before dissolving into laughter.

“Matthew.”

“What?” he asked innocently.

“You’ve had nearly two years to come up with a better compliment.”

“I mean, I’m not wrong. The show was really good. You were really good.”

“You know,” you said quietly, reaching up to smooth a loose strand of hair from his forehead, “I think ‘really good’ might be my favorite compliment I’ve ever gotten.”

Matthew laughed at that.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You were trying so hard to keep your crush on Matthew under wraps but he was on to you. Matthew had a crush on you from day one but you had always managed to avoid his advances. Now Matthew had you cornered, literally he had grabbed your hand and dragged you into a closet.

"I know you like me" Matthew says.

"I don't know what your talking about" you reply.

"Please that's bull shit" Matthew says.

"No its the truth" you reply.

Matthew gives you a look, "So if I do this you'd be unaffected then?" Matthew says lowering his voice and brushes some of your hair behind your ear.

You look away to hide the blush that coats your cheeks, but it doesn't work Matthew catches it.

"Why won't you admit that you like me?" Matthew asks

"Its complicated Matthew" You reply, "My brother would have a meltdown."

"Your brother can get over it" He fires back.

"Macklin Celebrini being calm? And getting over something? Are you dumb?" You ask

Matthew grimaces as he remembers Mack's latest crash out.

"I like you I really do, but Mack would lose his shit" You reply.

"He doesn't have to know" Matthew says.

You shoot him a look, "Right now I mean" Matthew adds.

"Okay, fine" you say, "We'll try it but we aren't waiting forever to tell Mack."

"We won't" Matthew says, he pulls you into a hug.

"I really like you" Matthew says.

"Me too" you reply before placing a gentle kiss on his lips. Matthew immediately deepens the kiss before the door slams open, "What the fuck?"

You and Matthew immediately break apart, and look at Mat Barzal.

"Hey Mat" Matthew says hesitatantly.

"Holy fuck" Mat says still in shock.

"Don't tell Mack" you say immediately.

"I won't" Mat says.

"Thank you" You and Matthew say.

"Now quit eating each others faces off" Mat says before leaving.

matthew had mistakingly admitted to mat one day that he was still a virgin. he was embarrassed by it. not that it is embarrassing, but he just feels behind. but nothing has ever felt right. didn't want to lose it to anyone he didn't trust.

matthew also knew when he did eventually get with someone and it was time to have sex, it was probably going to be very, very bad. he has absolutely no experience. so, he'd asked mat if he would teach him how to fuck a girl. so that he would know.

he didn't expect for mat to actually show him how instead of just teach him. mat knew matthew thought you, his girlfriend, was really hot. so, if he wants to know so bad, why not let him watch to figure it out? give him a show.

right now, matthew is sitting in a chair across from yours and mat's bed. you and mat are both naked. which had matthew already blushing at the fact that he's seeing you like this. you're on all fours, breasts dangling and back arched. mat is behind you, hands on your hips.

'gonna have to watch closely, schaef.' mat said, dragging the tip of his cock along your folds before beginning to push in.

'come closer.' you told him as you pushed back on mat as he began thrusting.

matthew gulped, adam's apple bobbing as he stood and approached the bed, standing by the side of it. you could see the outline of his boner through his shorts.

he tried not to look at your face. tried to look where mat was thrusting in and out of you, but it was hard. he knows you can see that he's hard. it's kind of hard to hide. but that's embarrassing.

mat noticed. 'she's good with her mouth.' he told the younger boy, who froze like a deer in headlights.

'never had a girl suck you off before, schaef?' you asked, changing positions so you were laying your front half down on the bed, making your lower half arch towards mat more.

'no.' he admitted. but he stepped closer to you around the front of the bed. 'will you...' he started. how exactly does he ask if you will?

you decided that for him. you reached for his waistband, going slow in case he wanted you to stop. but he nodded for you to keep going. you reached into his shorts, wrapping a hand around his hard cock and just stroking him.

he gasped out. he's never had anyone but himself touch there. then you pulled it out, pressing kisses to the tip. his hands flew to your hair already. he looked up at mat, who was still thrusting into you but was watching both you and matthew. he nodded. it's okay.

you leaned forward, taking the entirety of matthew's cock down your throat in one go.

'oh, fuck.' he cursed out. your mouth is warm and wet and feels oh so good on his cock.

'feel good?' mat asked, reaching around you to circle your clit as he continued thrusting.

'yeah.' matthew said, throwing his head back. but then he noticed mat's movements. 'what are you doing?' he asked.

'making her come.' mat said, knowing that him rubbbing your clit always makes you tip over that edge. and you did.

mat didn't. instead, he pulled out. 'your turn.' he told matthew, who still had his cock in your mouth.

'what?' he asked as you pulled your mouth off but continuing to stroke him.

'you don't have to.' mat made sure to tell him. 'but if you wanna learn how to fuck a girl... hands on experience is a lot better than just watching.'

'yeah... okay...' matthew said. he's really about to lose his virginity right now.

mat handed him a condom. 'do you-' he started.

'yes, i know how to put on a condom.' matthew said. they'd taught all the guys that in middle school.

you shifted so that you were laying on your back on the sheets, spreading your legs to give matthew the perfect view of your waiting pussy that was glistening with slick.

once the condom was on, he knelt between your legs. 'so, i just... put it in?' he questioned.

mat wrapped a hand around matthew's base, making him inhale sharply. then he helped guide him to your entrance, letting his tip prod against you.

'gentle. slow.' mat told him.

matthew gently entered you until he was in to the hilt and couldn't go any further. 'and now i just... move?' he asked.

mat nodded. 'don't go too rough.' he warned.

matthew started moving. slowly. almost painfully slow. he's nervous and it's easy to tell.

'listen to her cues.' mat told him. 'little sighs. words. maybe you'll feel her tightening around you.'

'you can go faster.' you told him.

he nodded. 'okay.' and he tentatively sped up his movements.

but really... you felt nothing. you grabbed his hand, guiding it down to your clit. 'feel this?' you asked. he nodded. 'do you see it?' he hesitated. ''kay. while that's where it's to. some men might need help finding it.' you said.

mat's hand replaced yours over matthew's fingers, helping him move them in small circles.

'that's the clit. you're not gonna get many girls off without doing something with it.' you said. 'just so you know.'

matthew nodded, taking the information in. but he was so focused on rubbing your clit now that he stopped thrusting into you. mat's hands grabbed his hips, guiding him to move again and start thrusting back into you.

'you can do two things at once, schaef.' he whispered into the younger boy's ear.

matthew shivered. he don't think he's gonna last long. not with you wrapped around him; him fucking a girl for the first time, and mat's hands on him and his whisperes in his ear.

'it's okay. you can let go.' you told him, reaching up to cup his cheek.

his hips spasmed against your hips and your thighs as he came inside the condom inside of you. he kind of slumped forward, almost on top of you, but mat pulled him up, telling him to go dispose of the condom.

'not bad.' you told him. you hadn't come, but that's not really the point here. 'you'll get there. with practice.' you said.

'practice?' he asked. 'so... can i go again?'

you and mat both laughed. 'so eager.' you teased.