AO3

Warnings: bit of angst & hurt/comfort, insecurity, cursing. This got a bit longer than planned!!

***

Remus was acting weird. Like, really weird. He’d been quiet and calm and utterly, bizarrely polite for going on three days now without fail, helping with the cooking, setting the table, wearing button down shirts… It was just wrong, wrong, wrong. 

And Patton was starting to get nervous. That morning when he’d got up for work Remus had been peacefully asleep beside him, sprawled out and snoring gently the way Patton secretly adored, and not so secretly adored teasing him about. He’d flicked the silver stripe in Remus’s hair to rouse him, bending to peck him on the cheek as always. But Remus had woken sharply and gasped when he’d seen the time, muttering about alarms and cursing under his breath, though he was being cagey about what for. He’d started running around the apartment and it was all Patton could do to stop him, trying to calm his wild partner. 

When Remus had sighed and started apologising Patton had finally realised that they Needed To Deal With This Now. 

He’d called in sick to work despite Remus’s protests and they now found themselves in the kitchen, waiting for the coffee to brew, Patton leaning against the cabinets with his arms folded and bottom lip sucked in so he could chew on it fretfully; Remus sat hunched over at the table, head in one hand and working very hard to ignore his partner. 

The machine whirred as it poured out the coffee and Patton added in the horrendous mint creamer that Remus liked- and actually hadn’t touched since this whole weird phase had started now he thought about it- and placed the mug in front of him on the table, sitting down kitty corner with his own. 

They sat in silence for a moment as Patton sipped his drink and tried to figure out where to start. Normally an oversharer of enormous magnitude; Remus had a bad habit of not letting people in. Patton had thought he’d firmly broken through a while ago but apparently not. 

“Are you gonna look at me at any point, doll, or are you gonna keep on ignoring me until I go away?” He murmured. It had the desired reaction; Remus’s head shot up and he looked at Patton in a panic. 

“Shit, Pats, I didn’t mean to make you feel ignored- that’s the last thing I wanted. Fuck, I mean, fudge, I mean… Sorry babe. Sorry.” He caught himself as he hung his head, looking up at Patton with those big brown eyes that had first melted his heart. 

Patton nodded, putting his mug down and shifting it around on the table to keep his hands occupied. “Accepted. But we gotta talk, Remus. I think you and I both know that you’ve been acting… different. And don’t get me wrong, I love all the attention, but most of it is just, it’s creepy Re! I don’t like it one bit! You’re tense and stressed and I don’t like it.” 

Remus winced. “It was meant to impress you.” 

“Impress me?!” Patton laughed, reaching out to take Remus’s hand in his own. “It left an impression. I was seriously considering the possibility that you’d been replaced by a pod person, doll.”

“That would be fun,” Remus admitted, relaxing a bit in his chair. “But no.”

“So then what the hell happened to you?! I’m going nuts here, help a fella out!” Patton beseeched him, trying to lift the tone with a little smile and squeeze of his fingers. Remus continued to look mostly miserable, but there was a lightness to his face that Patton had missed, returning slowly but surely. 

“I wanted to be a better partner to you. It’s not fair you have to put up with me all the time when you could have someone normal and sane and someone who doesn’t make you look after them all the time and who wears adult clothes and is just…” 

“More mature?” Patton guessed, suspicions confirmed by Remus’s nod. “Right. Well fuck that, for starters.” Remus jerked in surprise. Swearing from Patton was a Big Deal. “I know what I said and I meant it. I’ll say it again if I have to.” 

“I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed-” 

Patton huffed and rolled his eyes, scolding him with the utmost fondness. “Concentrate, dollface, save the flirting for after we’ve got you back to normal. Now I want you to listen to me very carefully, okay?” Remus nodded, shuffling closer on the edge of his chair. Good. “I love you exactly as you are. In fact, if I might be so bold, I love you because of how you are. You are perfect to me. You hear that?” 

Remus was hanging onto every word, drinking it up like a drowning man, but he apparently couldn’t resist the impulse to interrupt one last time. “But your parents babe, they think I’m just a freeloader! They’re just waiting for you to move on from your rebel phase! A-and your friends never liked me, I could tell- they always said how crazy you were to end up settling for me.” Patton snorted loud enough to make Remus jump again, the sound dripping with derision. 

“When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then! I thought you of all people would know that. You went and shacked up with Mr. Vanilla Homebody, didn’t you? And don’t try and tell me your friends didn’t say exactly the same thing to start with, because I know and love Dee but he was far from my biggest fan when we met.”

Remus sniffed, but he also shrugged, and Patton marked that down as a win. 

“Okay but, we’re in our thirties now. Shouldn’t I be acting a bit more my age anyway?”

“You mean you don’t love pillow fort Sundays? Getting new lego sets for Christmas and birthdays and just because? The plushie shelf? Because let me remind you, Mr King; I am just as invested in those things as you are. And I know you’d never ask me to change, right?” It was a dirty tactic but hey, it worked. Remus crumbled like a gravel wall and flung his arms around Patton despite the awkward angle, hugging him tightly. 

It lasted a long while, and the coffee was starting to cool when they sat back in their respective chairs and smiled softly at each other. Patton couldn’t bring himself to care one bit, because Remus looked miles better and they still had most of the day left to hang out together with zero obligations. 

Remus’s smile turned to a big grin. “So, you wanna build a pillow fort to make out in while we put The Incredibles on in the background? And then donate every single one of those awful shirts to goodwill?” He held out his mug hopefully. 

AO3

***

Patton is exhausted when he gets home from his night shift at the hospital, yawning and rubbing his eyes and desperate for a shower. He walks into the apartment with a mumbled hello to Remus, gaming on the couch, kissing his cheek and stumbling his way to the bedroom to dump his stuff and then on to the bathroom. 

He stops. He stares. He blinks a few times and then he turns around and walks back out, closing the door behind him. 

He opens it again and peeks in to double check, and closes it again with a firm click. then he takes a small breath and calls out. "Honey, what’s that thing in the bathroom?” 

“What?” Remus yells back from the couch, over the sound of gunshots. 

“The bathroom! The… thing! What is it?” 

“Wh- wait a sec lemme just,” Remus appears, his gaming headphones around his neck. Patton can hear Roman yelling faintly through the connection. “What’s up babe?” 

Patton just opens the bathroom door and points inside, without looking away from Remus. “Oh. That.” 

“Yes. Care to explain?” 

Remus makes a face that very loudly conveys a healthy amount of ‘yikes’ and then rakes his curls back. It’s his go-to for distracting Patton’s wrath, because it shows off his arms and hair well, which he knows Patton is weak for. But dammit today Patton will not be played. He folds his arms and raises an eyebrow, focusing with determination on Remus’s face only. “Um, shit I thought that would work. Well it’s a cardboard cut out of Brendon Urie, see.” 

“… I had noticed that part. Why do we have it, and why is it in my bathroom.” 

“Oh!” Remus brightens. “Well Ro and I got it for Virgil’s birthday but we needed somewhere to keep it. We thought he’d see it in the living room if he came round, and it’s weird in the bedroom, and the kitchen is out, so the bathroom was the natural option!” He beams, clearly expecting to be told he’d done good with that justification. 

Sometimes Patton pities the twins’ parents so much. He pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “Put it in the living room behind the couch, honey. It’ll be hidden there.” Obviously, he manages not to add. Only just. 

“The- oh, yeah that would be better wouldn’t it…”

“Uh, yeah.” 

Remus smiles sheepishly, nipping in to grab the item in question, pecking Patton on the cheek on the way past. “Come sit with me when you’re done and I’ll rub your feet!” He yells back over his shoulder. 

Set in THIS universe because I can

AO3

***

Dexter is peacefully reading his newest case study print out, twirling a highlighter between his fingers as he concentrates. The couch in Remus’s swanky new apartment, he’d found, was the best place to hit that perfect balance of comfort and workability, and he’s been taking full advantage of it since he’d arrived for the weekend the previous morning. 

Remus is currently out picking Patton up from his gym session so they can grab their usual uber-healthy groceries and sneak some junk food from whatever fast food place they pass on the way home. He pretends not to know about their sneakiness because he hasn’t the heart to ruin their childish glee. It can be hard being the only mature one sometimes, but the payoff is usually worth it. 

He glances at the clock, wondering where they are when the car pulls up to outside. Being on the first floor had its advantages and Dex liked it most for spying on people. Well, Patton called it watching the world go by, but Dex preferred spying. It just sounded cooler. 

So maybe he was a little childish too, at heart. 

The door opens and he looks up to greet his boyfriend and his… sort of also boyfriend, only to be confronted by what looks to have been a hurriedly discussed idea. 

Remus steps in first, making and holding eye contact and holding his hands up. Dex can’t understand why until Remus starts sidestepping and making claws with his hand like a crab, head going side to side. He makes his way through towards the couch where Dex is sat and Patton follows behind him doing the exact same thing, but stifling gusts of giggles. 

Dear Lord in heaven give him the strength to put up with these incredible idiots…

They stop directly in front of him, and oh, great, Patton is doing some kind of plie now and Remus is just about managing to copy him despite his significantly lower level of flexibility. Dexter raises an eyebrow at them and puts aside the highlighter and papers, clasping his hands in his lap and sitting forwards to very seriously say, “I love you, but please stop whatever it is that you’re doing.”

Remus immediately opens his mouth and starts chanting, “All hail the mighty crab king” and Patton joins in with him. Despite how it looks Dex is about ninety-nine percent sure Patton was the instigator here. He may look cute as a button but he is often just a bundle of repressed shenaniganery and antics. Remus is a willing and doting follower of most of these plans, and had often taken the fall for some of Patton’s wilder ideas, but since Dex learned the truth he’s mostly forgiven Remus for his part in all of the weirdness he has to put up with. 

Patton on the other hand- well. Dexter reaches out suddenly and grabs Patton by the waist, pulling him into his lap to exact sweet revenge through the medium of tickles. “I’ll show you crab king! Feel the wrath of my crabby claws, peasant!” He crows and Patton gasps for mercy between laughter. 

And lo I thought; Why Not Both?

AO3

Warnings: cursing

***

“What happened here?!” Patton gasped loudly, stopping dead a step into the kitchen. 

From behind him in the living room a sleepy voice replied, and Patton heard someone he hadn’t noticed on his way past get up from the sectional and approach. "Last night we accidentally made ten cakes,” Remus explained, entirely too casually for someone who’d accidentally made ten cakes. 

Okay, so, this wasn’t ideal. “Ten cakes is like, maybe a few too many?” Patton suggested with a wince, looking at the chaos- and cake, shit there was so much cake- littering the kitchen. Some of the plates held what were more accurately describable as crumb mountains and some were more like a terrifying sugary egg soup, and all of them needed to be gone like, as soon as possible. “Why didn’t you just give up?!” He turned to the twin lounging in the doorway, catching him mid-yawn. 

Remus looked at him and shrugged, rubbing at his eyes. “Seemed like a good idea at the time. Roman was like, super sure we’d get it right at some point. We were pretty fuckin’ close by the end, actually.” 

Patton eyed the ‘cakes’ doubtfully. “Um, sure… Look just help me clean this up and we’ll forget about it. Actually no, not forget about it; you can owe me one. And where is Roman anyway?” 

“He’s still asleep. You want me to fetch him?” 

“No,” Patton replied, tapping his chin in thought. “Actually that’s fine. I still need to get him back for the slippers incident. Your favour can be to help me with that.”

Remus grinned, excitement and anticipation waking him up faster than coffee ever could. “Sounds fuckin’ A, I’m in.” He grabbed a trash bag and set to work as Patton directed while Patton outlined the plan, both quickly buzzing with mischievous glee.

“Okay, so here’s what I’m thinking- Roman loves that sword of his right? What if we were to replace…” 

-

Because while chatting with @prox-xima I realised I’d missed a prime opportunity to do some wing fic for their prompt; “I’m scared to love you - Intruality”. So here is take two of that fill :)

Warnings: whatever it’s called when the villagers think a person who looks different is evil/monstrous.

AO3

***

"There you are!" Patton cries out as he runs. His bag thumps against his hip but he doesn't care, focused only on getting to his target in as short a time as possible.

He collides with Remus without slowing down, trusting and not being let down by the way the winged man catches him up in his arms, feet planted solidly and barely rocked by the impact. It helps that he beats his great wings just the once to meet the momentum and balance it out, lifting Patton up around the waist and eagerly meeting his kisses.

"You came," Remus say with a crinkly-eyed broad smile. Patton always thinks it's such a nice smile. How could anyone that smiled like that be all the things the townsfolk accused Remus of being? He just doesn't have it in him, Patton thinks, usually wishing he had the backbone to defend his sweetheart openly.

But he's but one big-hearted young man against many ignorant, cynical, insular people; he can't do anything for Remus against that kind of opposition.

He hopes his visits count for enough, instead.

"Of course, you great feathery lump!" Patton protests, laughing. "I even brought special desserts today. I have the day off at the mill tomorrow so I thought I could perhaps... stay the night?"

Remus brightens so suddenly that Patton briefly wonders if it was a new thought occurring to him that had heralded the change, but no- it really is just his suggestion.

"Stay?!" He spins Patton around swiftly, making the young man screech in delight. "I would love nothing more, my sunset. Except for perhaps your lips on mine, just one more time...?" He bats his eyelashes to make Patton giggle, and slowly lets Patton's feet touch the floor again as they kiss again, sweeter and slower than before, unhurried by the limits of time now. "Shall we lay under the stars together? I will keep you warm, these have to be good for something." His wings shrug and flare out a little as he mentions them, the hundreds of glossy brown feathers shining in the late afternoon sun.

Patton reaches out to stroke the backs of his fingers down the silky softness of them. "I would love nothing more," he parrots, stepping back so that he can drop the bag on the floor and crouch by it, pulling out and showing Remus the supplies he'd brought.

"... I love you, dearly," Remus says, still stood up beside him.

When Patton looks up in surprise the man is silhouetted with rays of bright light forming his edges, a vengeful and glorious spirit of the sky. It makes Patton's breath catch but he doesn't- can't- say the words in return. Not yet.

"You don't have to feel the same," Remus reassures him quickly, taking Patton's hand in a delicate hold and kissing it like the gentleman he is. Not the monster he believes himself to be. Never that.

"It's not that I don't, Remus. It's not that at all." Remus just looks at him patiently when he falters, trying to find the words. "I'm just, I'm scared to say I love you. To admit it to myself, for fear of making it something so real I can never live without it again. It's hard enough as it is, back home, without-"

He's gathered into a warm embrace against Remus's chest, wings curling in around him protectively. Out of everyone of course Remus would understand. "I know, my little pitter-pat. I know. I'm scared to love you too. And yet I can't help but do it anyway, because you are you and I will never not be enraptured by every aspect of you."

This is one of the things that had caught Patton's interest most, when they'd first met out here away from the town. The way Remus can spin words into beauty incomparable with such simple honesty, passions spilling untamed from his lips, tantalising in their undiluted way.

They never fail to make Patton sigh, like the lovesick fairy-tale love interest he unashamedly is. "You say such wonderful things!" He cries, mock-cross but blushing fiercely. "How could I compare?!"

"My beloved, you outshine me with every breath. I never think but to-"

"Alright that's enough of that!" Patton interrupts him, kissing him soundly. It's a thrilling and efficient way of cutting Remus off when he gets started. They both win this way.

Unfortunately they both also get very distracted, and as the sunlight caresses their skin and warms them to the bone; they press together, hearts beating in time, like the True Lovers they are.

--

Patton is an architecture student in his final year before qualifying, Remus is a tradesman working in urban housing builds. They met and formed a friendship with benefits on a night out and have been seeing each other reasonably regularly ever since. 

Warnings: implied homophobic, classist family, non-explicit sex mention

AO3

***

The bell rang through the enormous old building, heralding the movement of hundreds of pairs of feet and the cacophony of voices through the halls. The central campus Art building had excellent acoustics for increasing volume, which was great only if, as they had, you scheduled all the class changes at once. 

When Patton got down and out to the entrance, laughing with his friends, he was surprised to spot an out-of-place figure loitering at the bottom of the grand stone steps, standing just off to the side on the sidewalk as people streamed past. Patton’s steps faltered slightly and he gave a quick apology to his friends, saying he’d find them later, before pretending to double back and waiting until they were out of sight. Then he made a break for it, hurrying down to where Remus was waiting, hands thrust in the pockets of his paint-stained work overalls, a shyly hopeful smile on his face as he tried his hardest not to draw attention to the fact he was waiting for Patton. 

Bless him for being the sweetest, most conscientious man the student had ever met. 

“Hey,” Remus murmured when Patton got close, jerking his head off towards their usual hideaway; an alley halfway down the street with a conveniently well-kept back doorway to some shop or other they liked to sit on the steps of. 

They didn’t hold hands, and Remus made sure to walk a little way ahead of Patton, turning to meet him as Patton hurried forwards for a frantic kiss once they were safely away from prying eyes. They kissed for a while, Patton secretly delighted by the extra inch or so Remus’s heavy duty work boots gave him, and the way the taller man’s strong arms wrapped so firmly around him.  

“Mm, hi sexy,” Remus grinned when they pulled back, his dark curls dishevelled and cheeks flushed. “Guess you missed me too, huh.”

“You bet.” Patton kissed him again sweetly to prove his point. “It’s been too long. How’s the build going?”

They moved to sit on the steps, Patton snuggling himself back between Remus’s legs and tipping his head backwards so he could look up and see his face as it wrinkled in frustration. “Pretty good, actually. My foreman says I could definitely start discussing extra responsibility, so there’s that.” Patton watched the way his arm flexed as he lifted a hand to rake his wild curls back, small grin understating his pride at the accomplishment. 

“That’s awesome! You must be super good at what you do,” the student beamed, twisting slightly. Remus played his fingers over his neck, making Patton shiver, smiling a strange smile. 

“Yeah, I was actually thinking… Maybe I could take you on a date sometime to celebrate? A real one? Nothing fancy, just-” He took a steadying breath. “I really like you, Pats, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I know we haven’t really talked about it, but I’m kinda hoping you’d maybe want more? With me? We get along so well, and, like, the sex is great so-" 

The sound of Remus clearing his throat jolted Patton back to the present sharply, lost as he’d been in the slight panic of that proposal. 

"Um,” he started uncertainly, looking away so he wouldn’t see the moment Remus’s face dropped. “I don’t know, Remus. I mean my friends, my parents… I just don’t want to try something out and love it, only to have to give it up when everyone finds out." 

"But why would you have to give it up?" 

"Because that’s my family, Re, you’re not rich, well-bred or female.”

Remus sounded desperate. “So we just date casually! But we spend a bit more time together, go out together, you know? Nothing serious!" 

"And then when do we stop?” Patton countered quietly. “I’m scared to love you, Remus. Because that’s where it’ll go! Can you promise me you’d stop before you got too attached because I can’t!”

“I’m scared to love you, too,” Remus said, voice turning firm. “But I would fight your family a thousand times before I quit just because of a little fear, when carrying on means exactly that. Loving you.” Patton groaned, pulling his knees to his chest and burying his face in them, trying to tell himself he didn’t feel the same way. “I’m scared because I stand to lose a lot more here, patty-cake. But think of what we could gain…” He curled around Patton’s back, kissing under his ear and whispering, “and in truth? I’m already more'n halfway there.”

Patton turned around at that, reading the truth in Remus’s eyes and pulling his face down for a slow, deep kiss. 

It settled an ache deep in his chest that was probably his heart, and he knew his answer by the time they finally parted, panting softly against each other’s lips. 

“I’m scared to love you. I might always be scared. But I think you’re right- why not do it anyway?” Remus’s blinding smile grew and grew. “Date me?” Patton asked, shy in the face of all that pure joy. 

“Oh Patton. I am going to date you so hard. Just you wait!" 

This took a WHILE! I had about seven different ideas over the course of writing this and this is what I finally settled on!! 

Warnings: Remus being spooky, spooky cabins in spooky woods.

Now on AO3!

***

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5  AO3

We’re here; the final part. The happy ending, hopefully… 

Huge thanks to @littlestr​ for the original prompts! And thank you all for following along with this fun weekend jaunt, I have come to adore these boys and they’ve outgrown the little prompt oneshot they were supposed to exist in, constantly yelling at me for more attention until now we’re here. There’s even art HERE by @sometimeswritingsometimesdying go look at it!!!! 

Without further ado; please enjoy.

Warnings: dismissal of polyamory (character doesn’t believe it’s real/feasible), swearing 

Patton Sanders was the prettiest boy in the whole college...

***