#writepie

AO3

***

“You never told me that your brother was the most powerful villain in the city!!!" Virgil hissed, straightening his shirt in the bathroom mirror. 

“Well,” Roman replied after a wince, “to be fair you never told me that you were the most powerful hero in the city until like, at least our fifth date. And you already knew who I was. Call it payback?” He suggested. Their voices were low but the chatter out in the dining room would have covered any conversation anyway, the loud boom of Remus’ cackling laughter mixing with the almost unstoppable stream of words their cousin Logan managed to get out in the time someone else would have provided a sentence or two. 

Virgil just glared at his reflection, sorting his hair. “That’s unfair. I didn’t know you were, y’know, my assigned nemesis until after the first! And really, am I to be blamed for how damn charming you are that even when I found out I still wanted to see you again?” He bit back a smile, eyes flicking to watch Roman’s features smooth out softly. 

“I always knew my charisma would get me everything I wanted in life. You’re gonna make my head grow, confirming my ego like that.” 

“Don’t worry I-”

A knock on the bathroom door interrupted them, Remus’ voice calling through. “Hey, no hooking up in my bathroom, lovebirds. Save that for the wedding!” The couple shared a glance, Virgil pursing his lips tightly. Roman rested a hand on his back to offer a little comfort. “Oh and if you’re nice about my cooking I’ll leave City Bank alone for at least a week, Virgie...” the supervillain added through the door in a murmur. 

“Wait, does he-” 

“Okay so I might have told him.”

“Roman!”

Remus’ cackle of laughter moved away from the bathroom and back into the dining room as the couple bickered, Virgil’s nerves mostly forgotten in favour of giving Roman a good scolding. 

In the end it turned out Remus and Virgil got along fairly well. Not that they let that get in the way of the occasional dust up in costume while protecting or attacking various monuments or important locations, naturally. 

-

Didn’t quite manage to get to shippy fluff but consider it pre-relationship if you put the right goggles on :D @loveceit​

AO3

***

The first time one of them does it it's Virgil, running away from Remus after some mischief and looking for a safe place to hide. He figures he's safer on four paws, small and out of the way, and Remus would never think to check the Upstairs, so he darts through the doorway and finds a nice warm closet to burrow into and have a very restful nap.

This is the most chaotic prompt I’ve ever read, bless you.

AO3

***

“What do you mean, you heard a baby?” 

“I mean I heard, with my ears, these ones right here see? The noise of a tiny little human being, screeching its head off. It’s really not that complicated!”

“No but- we’re on a remote, and might I add empty island in the middle of an ocean, Remus. Where would a baby come from?”

“I’m not mad!”

Silence.

“Okay I might be a little mad, but that’s more the kind of... say the first thing that comes to mind mad, not hearing things mad! I heard it! With these ears!”

Patton sighed as Remus tugged on his ears again to reiterate his point. “Fine, fine. Let’s go look for the baby. Digging for tubers can wait I suppose, we have got a decent stash of coconuts to keep us going another day, and I have always wanted kids...”

“Great! Although fair warning, I actually already found the baby. I just didn’t want to say in case you thought I’d hallucinated that too.”

“Why would that make me think you were hallucinating more than just hearing strange noises?”

“Because the baby’s part fish.”

“Part... fish?”

“Part fish!” Remus chirped back with a grin, slightly sunburnt cheeks rounding with delight. “And hanging out in a hole I dug in the shallows so it could stay wet but not get swept away, I’m not a complete goof. Come on, let’s go!”

He scampered off over the sand of their island beach towards the surf without waiting for a reply. Patton scrambled after him, sand flying every which way as he hurried to join his fellow-strandee.

And as it turned out the baby was, indeed, part fish. 

-

The dialogue prompt isn’t included entirely as you sent it I’m afraid, I had to edit it to fit where I wanted it to go, but it’s still there in spirit!

AO3

***

They met at a cafe, in a lovely cliche. It was speed dating night, a charity event hosted by some dating app to gain more users and pr, both only there for the loosest of reasons. Logan; because he had a bet to win and he hated losing bets. Virgil; because he’d been at the cafe when they were setting up and had been too anxious to say anything when one of the assistants placed a placard on the table in front of him denoting his as Table 4. 

It was an unlikely enough circumstance, but what is life but a journey between each unlikely situation we end up in, floundering to call our directions a path or a choice, rather than just a headlong dash through time and space, impacted by the flounderings of billions of other humans doing the exact same thing? 

At least, that was how Virgil put it in a blurt of words when Logan commented on the chances of their having met. Logan, sat opposite him at Table 4, raised an eyebrow behind his glasses and blinked exactly once. 

“While that was... very philosophical, and a little distressing, I was remarking more on the scientific probability of the affair. But I suppose, we have fairly opposing ways of seeing things.”

“Is that bad?” Virgil asked with a wince, chewing on his lip. Logan just shrugged, picking up the laminated list of suggested conversation starters. 

“It is neither good nor bad, it was simply an observation. Do you tend to read hidden meaning and see, ah, the worst case scenario in everything another person says?” 

“You could say that. I’m a bad... people-er.”

“There is no such word.”

Another wince. “Shit, sorry.”

“No, it was not meant- never mind.” The questions came up higher, taking Logan’s full focus for a moment. “I fail to see what useful information could be gleaned from these questions,” he sighed. “Why should your star sign interest me? Or your opinion on pineapple pizza?”

“Oh, well. We could ask other questions?” Virgil suggested, surprised by his own ability to even talk after the embarrassing start. “Like, what’s something you want to achieve in life?”

“Space travel. Next question,” Logan replied immediately, looking immediately enthused by the prospect of easy questions. 

“Well,” Virgil hesitated, glancing around the too-loud, too-crowded room. “I think maybe you could explain that? Or I could answer, but I don’t really have life goals, other than, survive? Maybe just get through it, make a bit of money, get a cat... Or a roommate-”

“You live alone?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty quiet but I like it that way. Moved out real quick when I graduated high school.” 

Logan’s head tilted in curiosity. “Are you not close with your family?”

“Um, not really. They’re great, I guess, but they’re step family mostly and they’re very loud people. We do the odd holiday and call but not regularly.”

“Fascinating. And they don’t impose themselves on you when you fail to contact them in a while?”

Virgil squinted. “Uh, no? They’re not the worst at boundaries, to give them credit. They’d like, maybe call the police if I’d not been in touch in a month or two, you know, that’s it.”

Across the table, Logan sat forwards, clasping his hands together. “And with no roommate home, you do not feel unsafe?”

“N-no? Look, I don’t mean to sound paranoid but you’re not a serial killer right? Those are serial killer questions...” Virgil asked, shrinking back in his seat. “Like, don’t kill me? I’m totally boring, I’d be a boring murder victim I swear. But uh, they’d miss me! Totally!”

Logan broke into the first smile Virgil had seen on him, shaking his head with a softly barked laugh. “Oh, gosh. I knew I was bad at this but I suppose I underestimated my own inability to... how did you put it? ‘People’.” 

Virgil just stared at him, until he sighed and held a hand out. “Definitely not a serial killer. Just from a very different family to yours. I live with four roommates, and my family call me almost every day, or text. My brothers have been known to break into the apartment if they haven’t heard from me quickly enough. It was a problem with my last living situation, I’ll admit.”

“Oh. So you’re, really not a serial killer?” 

“Absolutely not. The closest I got was a frog dissection in high school biology. I managed a leg and then fainted. Turned me off bodies for good, I’m studying astrophysics nowadays.” 

“Huh.” Well that explained it at least. Virgil took the offered hand, giving a shy smile back. “Okay, well, that’s good to get out of the way. Um, so tell me more about space then?”

“Where to start! So space travel, when I say that I mean in the proper, sustainable, commercial way-”

-

Some fluffy logince coming up!

AO3

***

Thomas wakes up bright and early for the first time in a long time after getting the best night’s rest he’s had in months. Maybe even longer. It must have hit his circadian rhythm just right, and he bounces on his toes a little while he waits for the coffee to pour, proud of himself for using the word and also for just, waking up right. It feels good. 

He thinks someone else might be a bit proud too, and he grins to himself as he takes his position, inhaling the hot coffee steam as he pulls Logan up, waiting to see his happy surprise. 

Only it’s definitely Thomas that’s the surprised one. 

No that’s not true, they’re both very surprised. Logan is staring at him, half awake and starting to smile (good, on track so far) and wearing Roman’s merch tshirt. 

Thomas gapes at him over his mug until Logan waves a hand in front of his eyes. 

“Thomas? Are you quite alright? I thought perhaps you being up early was a good thing, but maybe you require more sleep-”

“Clothes?!” Thomas manages to squeak out, and in a heartbeat Logan has glanced down and blushed a deep red. 

He clears his throat and shuffles, crossing his arms over his chest like he can hide his outfit somehow. “Oh. Yes. Well, it’s a very comfortable top you see, and- and...”

Thomas waits, and Logan sighs. “You were supposed to interrupt me, but I suppose I won’t be so lucky.”

“Why exactly are you wearing Roman’s shirt? I thought you guys didn’t get along that well? Like all the popular kid to nerd dynamic, you know?”

“What?” Logan blanches. “Oh, no. No we argue all the time, certainly, but we do rather enjoy doing it. He’s very infuriating but he is also... Well you tend to see us in moments of conflict, rather than harmony. And, if I may say so without,” he falters, reaching for his stack of cards and pulling them out of thin air, shuffling through until he can squint at one (and that’s when Thomas realises the other weird thing; that Logan isn’t wearing his glasses yet) and finish; “blowing your mind? I find him very harmonious indeed.” The blush hasn’t faded and it only gets worse when Roman pops up with the biggest grin Thomas has ever seen on his face. He’s wearing Logan’s tshirt and things are starting to fall into place and even as he yawns he’s still making heart eyes at their resident smarty-pants. 

“Morning specs, Thomas. What’s got you both up so early? I was enjoying a lazy morning when someone started to get poetic. And no offence, but it wasn’t you Thomas.”

“It could’ve been me,” Thomas mumbles. 

“What’s the drama today?” Roman asks, rubbing at his eyes. Thomas looks between them- one gazing dreamily at the other and the other carefully not looking back but fixing his eyes on Thomas- and he sighs, with a soft little laugh, still clutching his coffee. 

“No drama,” Thomas says. “Why don’t you two get back to bed, and I’ll just go for a nice, no-thoughts-required morning run? I’ll catch you all later.”

Logan gives him a grateful and pleased smile, and the part of Thomas that craves validation lights up at the sight of the pride he’d first hoped for when he’d summoned his side. Roman stretches dramatically and calls out a sleepy goodbye as he sinks, only rising up to jerk his head to Logan, who promises he’s on his way. 

Thomas grins back when Logan shrugs, looking delighted and slightly embarrassed, before he too sinks down and back to bed. 

Where a Logan-shirt covered human water bottle awaits him for some prime morning snuggles, no doubt. 

Nooo don’t feel like garbage, feel like a warrior taking on a great and mighty beast (and if you imagine Roman telling you that then even better!!) 

And Lo, I Said Once More; Why Not Both?

AO3

***

“It’s too important, I have to get this right!” Roman says, brushing Deceit’s hand off his arm as he races past with another hot cocoa (Logan was hoarding all the coffee and sugar is of course the next best thing). “It’s crunch time!”

Deceit sighs and watches him go. Next time he’ll force a sandwich down his throat or something. 

“The schedule is very precise, Remus, please. I am already thirty seconds over my allotted conversational break time. If you’d excuse me-” Logan turns back to his laptop without another word, fingers flying over the keyboard. 

Remus pouts, flouncing out of the room to find attention elsewhere. 

“I suppose you were kicked out too?” Deceit comments when Remus slopes into the kitchen, hopping up on the counter to start eating the bag of stale chips he’s been saving for times of need. Like this one. “Roman barely said a word to me today. It’s-”

“The worst,” they both say at the same time, shaking their heads at their dear perfectionists’ antics. 

“And honestly, why wouldn’t he want to take a break with me?” Remus adds after a shared, sulky silence. “Look at me! I’m like, distraction in liquid form!” 

Deceit doesn’t open that can of worms, but taps his chin instead, a plan forming. “You know, we’d be helping Thomas if we got them to stop for a bit… He must need a break from all the thinking by now, right? Really, it’s what they would want.”

The other side tilts his head, eyes glinting with the promise of a plot. “Right. So we should kidnap them and hide them in my basem- no, you’re shaking your head. You don’t like the plan?”

“It could use a little work,” Deceit admits mildly. “I was thinking something with a little more… finesse.”

Logan comes running about an hour later, carrying a wriggling tentacle that Remus blinks entirely innocently at. “What is this?! Where is my laptop charger, Remus?!”

“Oh, now you want to chat?” Remus says smoothly, examining his fingernails with an air of exaggerated nonchalance. Deceit had done an excellent job on the tiny squid adorning each one, truly artistic. “Well why don’t you sit down and we can chat.”

“Remus I don’t have time for this there’s a deadline-”

“Funny you mention deadlines. Cause, y’know, the power line. It’s dead. And honey it ain’t comin’ back,” he snaps his fingers and pats his lap. “Sit with me, Logan-rithmic scale. Two minutes and then you can have your charger back.” 

“One.”

“Thirty.”

“N- no, Remus that’s not how it w-”

“An hour.”

“Remus!”

“Oop! Two hours!” Logan glares at him and Remus giggles. “Looks like you got yourself booked a spot in my arms for the next two hours. Clothes optional,” he adds, wiggling his eyebrows. 

Deceit chooses that moment to walk in, bodily carrying a squirming Roman with all six of his arms. “Clothes are absolutely mandatory,” he mutters, dropping Roman onto the couch and laying over him heavily so he can’t escape. Roman just wheezes at the other two for help, but Remus was never an ally in this fight and Logan’s lips twitch in a smile. 

“Alright, I will accept your deal, Remus. You drive a hard bargain,” Logan says, allowing his Creativity to drag him in for a tight squeeze of a hug, that he happily weathers. “Breaks are good for the brain, after all, I suppose.”

Super cute!!

AO3

*** “Remus?” 

No reply. 

“Remus!” Patton called again, wandering through the apartment searching for his boyfriend. He wasn’t in the kitchen making lunch, or in the living room playing on the playstation. He wasn’t in the bathroom, or the bedroom, which only left... 

“Fuck!” Came a cry from the office. It wasn’t really an office, more of a spare tiny room that they’d managed to cram a desk and chair into. Maybe it had once been a nursery, or washing room or something, but now it was where Remus went to work if he wasn’t going elsewhere, and Patton should’ve really checked there first. 

He pushed the door open carefully, glancing at the screen to note Remus was apparently just playing some kind of game, headphones jammed over his ears and posture terrible as he hunched forwards and clicked furiously on the mouse. Patton sighed fondly, folding his arms and leaning in the doorway. 

“Oh hey babe,” Remus said, barely glancing away from the battle going on on his screen but pushing his headphones down around his neck. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much. You wanna come have some food and pay attention to me?” Patton asked, voice full of amusement. He wandered closer, leaning over Remus’s back and looping his arms around his front. Remus just hummed, already distracted again by the game. 

Well that was fine, Patton knew how to play dirty. He started by pressing his cheek to Remus’s, turning to press a soft kiss to the scratchy stubbled skin and then lifted a hand to guide his boyfriend’s face sideways to catch him in a nice, deep kiss. 

It worked like a charm; Remus turned in the chair after only a few seconds and pulled him down into his lap to make out, while on screen his character died a horrible and bloody death. 

Patton grinned when they pulled apart, smug as all hell. “So I’m guessing you’re done now, right?” He asked. 

Remus just laughed and reached to turn the game off. “I have better things to do, it seems,” he agreed, leaning up to continue their kisses. 

Combining this prompt with:

I was wondering if you could do this prompt with Dukexeity? “Don’t listen to them. You’re the coolest guy I know!” - anon

I love it when prompts match up together :) This is early stages pre-relationship, or if you prefer to read it as platonic (and eventual QPPs) then go right ahead!

AO3

***

Remus had long ago learned that people could be cruel. He’d been lucky to learn the lesson while he was at home, loved by his parents and brother, and supported well enough by the junior high he went to. He’d learned that if you were your best friend first then it gave you a kind of armour against all the horrible things people threw out, and it meant you never had to rely on or wait for someone else to remember to say something nice to you, because you could do it yourself. 

Virgil had not been quite so lucky. 

He was a quiet child, with a fairly normal single parent household after an equally fairly normal rocky end to his parents’ relationship when he was five. School was not awful, but he didn’t have quite the backup that Remus did when the kids picked him out as an easy target. He’d tried to make friends, running after the group of nice and not-super-popular kids who were always friendly but seemed to always try and hide from him, too nice to tell him to his face they just didn’t want him around. 

After a while he stopped following them, and he could see from their relieved smiles when they saw him that they thought it was better this way. People could be cruel, even when they didn’t really meant to. 

High school was a different matter, because the school was about three times as large and it was suddenly easier to hide. Thousands of kids running around the hallways, a whole little pocket of kids like Virgil, like Remus, who were the oddballs of their previous schools and now... suddenly weren’t as noticeable. They formed a little pack of their own, scoffing at the popular kids, finding safety in numbers, but even here there was cruelty. 

So it was that he found himself running off to hide under the staircase sniffing into his hoodie. So what if he thought Marvel films were cool? So what if he didn’t know who some indie band were?! That didn’t make him lame! That didn’t make him a sell out or a wannabe cool kid! That- maybe it did though? 

“Virgil! There you are, geez you move fast,” Remus said, skidding under the staircase beside him on his knees and catching his breath. “Woo, I gotta get in shape, grunge-chic really doesn’t cut it when I have to keep up with you. You’re fast, dude!” 

Virgil stared at him, face blank with confusion, and his expression softened to sympathy. “Don’t listen to them. You’re the coolest guy I know!” Remus told him, nudging his arm carefully. “I know what they’re saying to you seems like it’s true, but it isn’t. I’m here for you. Those guys aren’t. They’re just jerks who think they’re cool because they hate everything.” 

“But they know all the right-”

“Woah, now,” Remus held up his hand, bopping Virgil on the nose. It was so out of the blue that Virgil felt his panic recede slightly, pushed out of the way by a startled snort of amusement. “Oh hey, you do laugh! I knew it. Roman owes me so many noogies, man, but I gotta prove it to him so let’s test this. Is it a magic smile button?” He grinned, booping Virgil’s nose again, and making the sound effect for funsies. 

It did indeed make Virgil laugh, slightly helplessly, blinking shyly at Remus with growing awe. How did he do that? Was he some kind of magic spirit? 

Remus crowed in triumph and did it a few more times until Virgil was giggling, smothering the noise with his hand, his eyes crinkling. It felt achy and new on his face, and he liked it. “So that’s that experiment run. Where were we?”

The amusement died away and Virgil sighed. “The guys said-”

“Oh that’s right!” Remus interrupted quickly. “You were gonna say they were right! Well, nu uh, can confirm, not true. Totally false. They think they’re right, but we know better. Besides, who wouldn’t be into Chris Evans’ ass?!” And the giddy feeling was back, just like that. 

“How do you do that?!” Virgil wondered. 

“Do what?”

“Just, you’re so positive. And, it’s like, you don’t care at all what they think?”

Remus beamed proudly at him. “Oh, I assure it’s not just ‘like’ that. Why would it matter what some wannabe teenage rebels think about me? They’re not gonna give me my grades, or probably ever be the people I go to if I need help. They’re just guys with their own things going on.”

“Wow,” Virgil sighed. “I wish I could think like that.” He smiled when Remus shuffled over in front of him for another boop. 

“Just checking that still worked,” Remus grinned back. “But I have an idea. Why don’t you come round after school, and I’ll induct you into the cult of Remus! You too, can learn how to think like me, for the low, low price of maybe buying some soda and letting me beat you at mariokart a few times. If you’re good. If you’re bad at mariokart then I’ll just beat you anyway, that still counts. And you gotta let me boop you like, three times an hour at least, for the serotonin. What do you say?”

Was this... friendship?

Virgil blinked slowly at the other boy, his smile turning shy again. “Okay,” he said, lips lifting higher and higher until he was actually beaming back at Remus. “It’s a deal.”

Hanging out with Remus was actually really cool. It turned out later on that friendship was only the beginning of what they could mean to each other, but when they got there, that was actually really cool too.