#more crack

Fandom: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Egalmoth of Gondolin/Turgon of Gondolin (Tolkien), Ecthelion of the Fountain/Glorfindel (Tolkien), Duilin of Gondolin/Turin Turambar, Rog/Hammers Additional Tags: graphic depictions of writer's block, looking for ideas in (almost) all the wrong places, Interviews, Gondolin Shenanigans, egalmoth underappreciated romance novelist of gondolin, also featuring hammers, and feet, Sorry Not Sorry, but there are mentions of socks, extremely near sighted human mistakes generic bow-bearing elf for husband, in which Turin Turambar is considered lucky for the first and only time, oh no I made myself a little sad, but it's still crack, definitely crack Summary:

Pairing: Kakasaku Rating: T Additional tags: secret santa, movie night Word Count: 1039

The stress of retail during the holiday season was something Sakura hadn’t expected to really be an issue in a weed store, but it was evident on Black Friday she was very, very wrong.  After surviving the weekend Sakura was less than excited to come in on Monday for a staff meeting on what should have been her day off. The entire time Sakura had worked there, Kakashi had never called a meeting. As it turned out, he didn’t call this one. Tsunade stormed into the break room where everyone was gathered, passing a blunt around and nursing morning coffee.  “Where’s Kakashi?” she barked. “It’s not even noon. He’s probably still in bed.” Sasuke replied, in a tone that was both bored and judgmental.  Scowling, Tsunade pulled her phone from her back pocket and unlocked it. After tapping the screen a few times, she held it up to her ear. A heartbeat later the music started. “Is that MC Hammer?” Yamato mumbled.

Rating: General

Relationship: Nine x rose

Summary: While waiting out an unlikely infestation/invasion, the Doctor tells Rose and Jack about a rather...unusual...incident from his past.

Notes: Er, so, hi? *waves timidly*. It's been a long while, I know- RL has been VERY rude. And apparently this is the first thing that my muse has decided that we need to share after all this time. It's utter crack, from start to finish (totally not sorry!), and those of you who know me are probably not at all surprised by the content of this crackitude. *grins sheepishly* Fair warning, I'm VERY rusty.To be fair, it's not entirely my fault- a friend sent me this crazy article and, well, the muse took over after that. Thanks to rose--nebula for the beta x Soooo.....yeah. Enjoy the lunacy and if you hate it please don't come after me with a crepe?

Also on: A03  I  Teaspoon

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Rose turned to the Doctor. “Right, what we gonna do then?”

“Do?” He cocked his head.

“About the crazy giant moose-things that have taken over the ski park, Doctor!’ Rose stared at him. “Or were you plannin’ to just sit here in front of a sixty-first century ski park  an’ wait it out until aliens try to take over the world again ?” 

“Who said anything about aliens?”

Jack stared. “Wait, you mean they’re NOT aliens?

“Nope. Just angry meeses.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Rose frowned. “Did you say meeses? ”

“Yeah. Plural of moose. Used to be moose, but they changed because of a mad lawyer in the early twenty-first century. Nutella-crazed, moose-obsessed nutter, she was.”

“Nutella-crazed… what? ” Rose shook her head in bewilderment.

“Oh yeah, complete nutter. Whacked me over the head with a crepe, once.”

“Oooooh, kinky.” Jack waggled his eyebrows. “You randy old Time Lord, you.”

“That wasn’t a euphemism, you oversexed sod! She thumped me with a crepe. Literally.”

➪Contains: Sex themes, blood play kink, degrading, bondage, assplay, hair pulling.

➪Started at: 11:26 pm

➪ Finished at: 12:36 pm

➪March 4, 2021

➪Author’s daily small talk: “In all truth I was tired of y/n being shy and shit. Nahhhhh I know y’all sum freak’s on here. But hey enjoy 👋🏾 !!”

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❤︎: 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙗𝙚𝙙?

𝟭: Straight up diving into the action. Jeff wouldn’t care if you was tired or not, he was ready to wake up the whole mansion if need be.

𝟮: Very grabby and rough. Jeff seems like the type to choke you while in missionary, doggy style, or even cowgirl. Anything is fine as long as his hand is around your throat. He relishes in it.

𝟯: If Jeff had a bad day or something of the sort, he won’t be as rough with you as he usually would. You would be spread open for him, thighs in the air while he eating you out like it was the man last supper. You’re moan’s are everything.

𝟰: He won’t stop until you’re trembling under the man or cover in bruises btw. Making sure his queen knows who she belongs too.

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❤︎: 𝙆𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙨~

𝟭: “Let me cut you while fucking your brains out.” ....Okay so. You was in the middle of putting on your scarf/bonnet and that just caught you off guard.

So he was into knife-play you assume because the lord must’ve taught twice if you were gonna take a knife. Jeff and you agreed that maybe on his birthday you’ll both try it out.

𝟮: Y’all degrade each other.

“F-FUCK..Damn bitch! Stop trying to break-..s~shit...” He stumbled upon saying the last of his words. It was hard to concentrate when you was bouncing yourself against his cock and the whelming sensation of his seed about to burst inside of your walls. (We on birth control.)

“S~Shut upp..mhm..ngh..~!!” Your legs we’re about to give out by now. He noticed this, and grabbed you by the waist; bucking his hips upward, making your nails dig into the side of his calves. “𝗔𝘄𝘄𝘄..𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗲. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻. 𝗜 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗼𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘀𝗹𝘂𝘁𝘁𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗲.“

𝟯: Y/n hates it when he pulls her hair. But that what turns him on, so he does it even more just to spite you. Also while doing so; he’ll probably smack ur ass and give you sloppy kisses.

𝟰: Bondage? Yes. No hesitation. He would let you tie him down to the bed and just ride him until the bed is slamming against the wall. You went and got those puffy handcuffs in the color of your choice, and he regrets it.

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𝘼𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚:

𝟭: Your titties will be in this man mouth while he sleeps.

𝟮: Jeff doesn’t care who is big or little spoon, he just wanna snuggle after long sex or go another round if you tempted him.

Xisang Week, Day 4: Birds

Velociraptor!Lan Xichen is getting introduced to a chicken coop, and she is very timid, even though she is three times bigger than the chickens. They are picking on her, but not to worry, Chicken!Nie Huaisang will not stand for this sort of thing.

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