#montyyyyyy

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I mean, look.

Xzar is a necromancer, and as you probably know, I’m basically a walking pile of necromancy trash, so he gets the first point. Secondly, he’s technically the best spellcaster in BG1, as he’s

a) Available at the very start of the game, unlike Quayle.

b) Able to cast BOTH Fireball and Identify (*glares at Edwin and Xan*).

c) A LOT more interesting than Dynaheir.

d) Able to multiclass into a Cleric with a Tome of Wisdom, which equals a TON of extra spells.

Besides, Edwin is so OP that pretty much everyone chooses him. I’ve played him so many times that I simply got bored. :/

Plus, Xzar’s cuter. *shrugs* I personally headcanon him as a tall, lanky sinnamon roll with ridiculously fluffy hair, kind of like a Faerunian, necromantic version of the Mad Hatter from “Alice in Wonderland” (which I have drawn more than once, actually). Lastly, he’s fun to draw and so are his mad ramblings. I’m totally going to make Easter cards depicting dragons with rabbit feet this year, mark my words.

Montaron, however, is a smol, sharp, angry loser who has to babysit him. By the way, you guys have no idea how fun it is to imagine him meeting Karkat from “Homestuck”, with whom he shares some qualities, including the ones mentioned above. Wonderful idiots.

Also, I’m pretty sure that Monty is the halfling embodiment of every short person stereotype ever made. (”Say goodnight to your kneecaps, asshole”) He contrasts well with tall Xzar, and I like to imagine the necromancer teasing him about his short size. Pretty much the smol and tol trope, only way less romantic and more angry and bloody, which I find much more entertaining. The only ‘romantic’ I like is ‘necromantic’, ayyyyyyyyyy. (sorry)

Plus, he and Xzar are the reasons why I couldn’t read “Of Mice and Men”  with a straight face. I know that it’s a tragic story about friendship and broken dreams, and that Lennie resembles Minsc more… I really appreciate it, and I found the ending really sad, but I just couldn’t.

Lennie: “Tell me - like you done before.”

George: “Tell you what?”

Lennie: “About the rabbits.”

I nearly dropped the book and had to read this bit twice before nearly breaking down in laughter in the middle of class, just because I kept hearing “Tell me about the rabbits! :D” over and over in my head.

It’s not a bad book, really. I even liked it, especially Slim, and I really felt sorry for Candy, Crooks, Lennie and Curley’s Wife, but every time George got bitter and angry, or every time the word ‘rabbits’ hopped up onto the page, I couldn’t help but think of these two and try not to giggle.

The book aside, though, I’m having TONS of fun playing around with these characters, be it actually playing them in the game, or making an AU where they’re doing such-and-such.

Also, I cannot wait until I finish my Baldur’s Gate playthrough, start BG2 and see them die, killed by the Harpers :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I didn’t get to fully appreciate the shittyness of that quest until a few months ago, when they began to really grow on me.

(I wonder how much reputation would it cost me if I slaughtered the entire Harper base in the middle of the night? Probably a lot, but who cares? The Zhentarim are cooler than Harpers, anyway)

That’s why I’m considering mods, but I’m not sure if my poor, poor laptop would survive them; the thing has been through hell, believe me.

I really wish that we could kill that Harper assassin and/or take Monty’s body to a temple or something, because I really would like to see more of them, and Edwin as the only Evil Mage option has gotten REALLY boring. (plus, his quest was stupid; I mean, what’s so bad about being a woman for a while? You still have your magic and you can flirt the merchants into giving you a discount on spell components. And don’t get me started on the ending for him >:( )

I have no idea how this post became so long btw, but it appears that it has, so I’ll try to wrap it up somehow.

By the way, returning to the topic of mods, I saw a Montaron romance mod floating somewhere, so now I’m waiting for a Xzar one :D (although I’m pretty sure that he’s ace, but that’s kind of obvious. Also, you don’t really need sex to have a good relationship, and the idea of putting romantic into necromantic is really appealing to me, in case you haven’t noticed; Gods, I love that pun)

I’d probably play it just to see if the writers got him right. Yep, that’s totally the reason. The only reason. There would be absolutely no other reasons for me to play that mod. None whatsoever…

You know that I’m a horrible liar, don’t you? By the way, speaking of ensuring that one is in character, I’m not going to say a single word about the Baldur’s Gate novel, because it would get really ugly really fast, as I hate the bloody thing. XZAR’S ROBES ARE FREAKIN’ GREEN. NOT BLACK. ALSO WTF HAS HAPPENED TO THE REST OF THE COMPANIONS?! CORAN? ALORA? IMOEN? DID THE AUTHOR EVEN PLAY THE GAME?! I HATE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS DON’T EVEN… Ok, I’m fine. Sorry. Like I said, don’t get me started.

To wrap this up, I’m definitely having waaaay too much fun with Xzar and Monty, much more than I used to have with Khalid and Jaheira and even than with Minsc and Boo! (although I still love them to bits)