Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers: The Case of the Cola Cult Review: Come Along, You Belong! (Comission for WeridKev27)
Come along, you belong you happy people! If your just seeing this blog for the first time Iām Jake and iām an aging nerd who reviews cartoons, comics and other stuff 3 times a week. And after a few days off to recharge that ended up beingĀ āMe sitting in bed with a cold watching old simpsons, playing animal crossing and getting ready for next week..ā itās time to come back and just in time as sometimes, some films drop on Disney +, but your producer/patron/guy what hires you for work the most wants to do a tie in. Yes today marks the release of the new Chip N Dale film. And granted I COULD just review that day one.. but iād rather let the film sit for a bit... or more likely for me forget to watch it for some time and still havenāt months later like Turning Red, which you are free to boo me on as you should.Ā
So instead since iāve already looked at the pilot, Kev is having me look at one of the series most infamous and most loved episodes: The Case of the Cola Cult. Just in case you thought the movie was insane what with itās having an evil peter pan clone voiced by bojack horseman as an antagonist, cgi timone or just in general existing, hereās a friendly reminder the orignal series not only tackled cults, but did so mostly straight. I mean it still involves soda jingles, ninjas and a suction cup tank, but the fact the show not only went after such a dark topic but did so brilliantly for the time is amazing. Just amazing. So iām more than happy to share this milestone of television with yaāll after the cut!
Content Warning: This episode being reviewed was about cults. Itās in the title. So if youāve had a bad past experince with cults or have a loved one who has best steer clear of this one.Ā
So the story begins as youād expect a story about a cult to start.. with our heroes rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go gotta follow their rainbow as they test out gadgetās newest baby: the Rescuemobile, aka a roller skate with some sort of engine. Contrary to what I expected the plot dosenāt kick off because Gadget forgot to install breaks.. but instead the more cleverĀ āThey fell off about two miles backā.Ā
Our heroes crash and two towns over a himbo duck feels like he missed something. Theyāve ended up in the Coo Coo Cola Factory, where they nearly get attacked by ninjas
And get attacked by Bubbles, a large intimidating rat in a mask who couldnāt be screamingĀ āiām the bad guy can ya tell?ā any harder if heād come in riding the Jokermobile, blaringĀ āI canāt decideā and throwing the mouse equilvent of a puppy out the window while he did.Ā
Heās stopped by Pop Top whose our cult leader for the episode. Pop Top is voiced by Daleās VA Corey Burton while Bubbles is voiced by Disney GOAT Jim Cummings pre taking over as montery again later in the series. Sadly he did NOT show up on Amphibia before it bowed out, but he might have some time for Owl House. We still got 5 episodes to go.... god we have only five episodes left...
Anyways Pop Top, love the name, shows them around and as one article pointed out, the cultās design is based heavily of the ranjesshe cult from the robes, which get colorful during a cermony using soda, the way they operate and just general design. When asked about this one of the writers of the ep said it wasnāt WRITTEN that way.. but he canāt speak for design, and given said cult was one of the more promient at the time, iām thinking this is less a concidence
Speaking of which while the episodeās anti cult message is about as subtle as a Ralph
There is a nice little consmuerum dig at how marketing can sometimes go to extremes, with a WHOLE ASS CULT forming.. because a bunch of mice saw a catchy jingle that saysĀ ācome along, you belongā and that youĀ ābelongā to it. It honestly dosenāt sound that out of bounds for the 80s, especially given Spuds McKckenzie exists.. and in case your wondering who that is hereās the webcomic something positive to fill you in
So yeah cult like cola commericals are entirely plausable. Itās only a small jab but it works.Ā
The Rangers are naturally suspcious because unlike most cults they donāt even bother to hide the name. They literally just call themselves the cola cult. Even fi it dosenāt hlep them get more cultists I gotta admire their honesty. Most cults take the side door, this one comes up front and knocks. The fact itās various cola cultists give up everything just sets off more alarm bells but with nothing other thanĀ
They depart, though Pop Tart offers to let them come back any time.Ā
So at home Gadget works on another new invetion with low saftey percuations: a really big magnet. Perfect for fighting Rom, Space Knight. The boys razzing her abou tit naturally going haywire gets to gadget a bit, and as you can probably tell this is a gadgetcentric episode: while the others have plenty to do this focuses on her and does so VERY well. It takes what seems to be a common trope, her invetions having some flaw to them and deconstructs it: for one science is built on trying and trying again... but it can be hard when you have two voices in your ear telling you your a screw up. The boys donāt mean anything by it, paticuarlly Dale whose just always like this. But you can only hear this sort of thing so long before it brekas you a bit and this episodes going to break gadget hard.Ā
But first one of the cultists shows up, needing their help. Said magnet incident distracts them and this is par tof WHy the episode works: our heroes doānt snap at gadget for no reason or to be dicks. Her invetions have geninly backfired and put a client in danger. At the same time though she coudlnāt of KNOWN a client could walk in and testing these things out is important. Itās not some one sided making a character dick for funsies nonsense. Itās well thought out.Ā
So naturally the fall comes when Bubbles, as we find out later, sabotages her rescue rover, her new baby thatās basically a giant wheel with plungers on it.Ā
Causing them all to tumble and barely be saved by Zipper... who at least shows himself to be a true badass by stretching a blanket himself, with all his strength across bottles to make a makeshift parachute.Ā
Like I didnāt expect zipper, who I frequently forgets exists, to be THIS badass.Ā
Gadget is crestfallen and retires... and her depression is just.. heartbreaking. To see this vibrant young lady just.. broken, feeling useless, and the next day planning on LEAVING, feeling she has nothing to offer without her invetions.. itās heartbreaking and once again Rescue Rangers avoids the pitfalls other shows have slammed into with this type of plot: the rest of the team is devistated, feels bad for what they caused, and TRIES to cheer her up. She leaves not because of any silly misunderstanding but because their man on the inside of the cult shows back up and Gadget slips out because they HAVE to tend to him, and even then itās clear theyād rather make sure she stays.Ā
So our heroes plan to sneak into the cult as Cult Guy Whose Name I Forgot And didnt bother to look back up leads them. Meanwhile we get at truly heartening scene with Gadget as she mopes in the rain.. and right into the arms of the cola cult who are capering with music outside in the rain
And take her in. And this again shows how the episode gets cults: They take in people who need to feel they belong, who need to fill the void in their lives somehow, and often they find the people most lost in some way and fill that void. Granted in the case of this cartoon Pop Top is GENUINELY trying to help her, more on that in a minute, but it still works: a lot of cultists often bring people deeper without realizing what their doing till itās too late.Ā
So she goes in and her friends are geninely shocked sheās doing this.. but have no way to help her. Their sneaking in and hopefully what their doing will stop this. It parallels how many people feel helpless to help their loved one incults.. or maybe itās just mildly sloppy writing in a childrenās show thatās already done this well so far out of their depth. I dunno.Ā
So they end up getting fizzed, while Gadget decides she dosenāt belong.. and then gets kidnapped by Bubbles. Our heroes naturally find everyoneās stuff and assume pop top did it.. as did I.Ā
Yeah turns out Bubbles is behind it.. because of course he is. 50% of all Jimās roles have him playing some evil bastard. Itās in his resume: Jim cummings, plays evil bastards and also a duck. This is mixed for me. On the one hand the swerve, having the Cult exploited is neat.. but it also kinda muddies the message. Cults.. arneāt innocent. They take peopleās lives away, scam innocents, and generally are predatory scum. Simpsons got this with the movementarians episode while still being hilarous.. in part because they made the mistake of trying to recruit homer and had to put in the extra work. That and it has Hans Moleman getting eaten by rover. Some things you donāt know you need til lthey happen even when your a 12 year old who has no idea what the prisoner is and as an adult still hasnāt seen it.Ā
So he plans to drown their asses, this time putting them in bottles but gadget escapes.. and then gets EXCEPTIONALLY badass as she procedes to make her gyrothing into a FUCKING TANK SUCTION CUP TANK, armoring it and arming herself to the teeth with her gadgets, mowing down the cultās ninjas with her magnet, other gadgets and sheer badassery. There is only one god.. and itās her.Ā
Itās also cathartic as hell after an episode of watching her beat up. It helps bubbles.. is a very stupid villian. He has no real plan for a smooth transition of cult leadership, outright TELLS GADGET WHAT HE DONE DID, and looses the tape.. thanks to gadget I feel or just it going out but still... the only reason he got as far as he did is heās voiced by jim cummings and that only gets you so far.Ā
So Gadget exposes bubbles and kicks his ass and then she fucking kicks his ass, and Pop Top wonders what now, while the rangers say you donāt need a cult as long as you belong somewhere.Ā
Final Thoughts:Ā
This was a REALLY good episode. The concept is both silly and really nicely takes cults apart and I supsect pop top being innocent was simply the need for a more black and white morality in these types of cartoons. There wasnāt room for any moral greys in a cartoon like this.. yet. Still itās a great episode and Tress really gets to show off her range as gadget, the koo koo cola song is now embeded in my head and it eased me back into work nicely. All in all a solid review and if youād like to comission one just like it, hit me up in my ask box and come along with coo coo cola.Ā
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Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers, Goofy, Daisy Duck, Gosalyn Mallard, Taurus Bulba, Kit and Molly confirmed for DuckTales 2017!
I thought the Rescue Rangers would get redesigned or something, but theyāre pretty much left intact as is. I also thought Goofy would look more like his modern design or even how he looked during A Goofy Movie/An Extremely Goofy Movie rather then reverting back to his Goof Troop design, but I aināt complaining otherwise. (whereās Max, tho?)
Daisyās new look is pretty cool, and nice that we get to see Gosalyn as well! Taurus looks as confident and arrogant as ever, tho his new coat makes him look spiffy.
Adult Kit and Molly was something I wasnāt expecting. Looks like Molly has embraced her āDanger Womanā Persona. Wonder if weāll get to see Baloo and Rebecca?
I can't believe I forgot to mention how catchy the theme song is... Anyways, the first thing I did with Disney+ was watch Disney's Chip 'N' Dale's Rescue Ran...
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ChipĀ āNā Dale Rescue Rangers: Rescue Rangers to the Rescue! Review: Acceptable in the 80s (Comissioned by WeirdKev27)
Hello all you happy people! Some times, some crimes slip through the cracks. But these two Gum Shoes, are pickin up the slack. With the pilots for DuckTales, Darkwing Duck, Goof Troop and Tailspin in the rearview, itās finally time to finally call C-c-chip N Dale, the last pilot between me and reviewing the epic crossoverĀ āLegend of the Chaos Godā for my good buddy @weirdkev27.Ā
Does that mean with all the pilots I have to do covered, that iām done with doing the Disney Afternoon Pilots?
For one thing iāve still never covered Gargoyles on this blog much less watched the series in full.Ā
Thereās also Gummi Bears, Quack Pack,Ā Bonkers, Aladdin, Snookums and Meat, Timon And Pumbaa and the Mighty Ducks. About half that list fills me with a dread the likes of which the world has never seen, but Iām still gonna do it. Especially Gargoyles.
Still this is the last of the first batch of The Disney Afternoon I hadnāt covered, the first few shows picked after DuckTales proved to be a success. This one was co-created by Tad Stones, the same genius behind darkwing duck and the same weirdo who continues to assume Darkwing Duck and Ducktales are not in the same universe. Yes Tad came up with the show, originally starring a mouse named Kit Colby. The Execs really liked the idea... just not the lead and Micheal Esiner suggested making Chip and Dale the leads to give it some classic disney groudning. Now as iāve made clear in the past my opinon on the classic Chip N Dale Shorts and the Classic version of them in general can be summed up as...
They often rely on the two bullying an innocent victim wether it be Donald, Pluto or the concept of comedy, arneāt funny and their voices annoy me.
So youād understandably assume I went into this with pure dread... and youād be wrong. Yeah while I hate the shorts the idea of rescue rangers slaps. The dynamic duo, now given contrasting personalities with Chip being more cautious and Dale being a bit of a goof off. So basically Peraltoiago if they werneāt a couple and were instead siblings.Ā Add in a cute quirky genius, a cheese loving aussie, and a fly because why not, have them solve crimes and battle a gangster cat, and you have my attention.Ā
So the question left is simple :Does the show hold up? Do Chip And Dale Still never fail or is this one thing our rangers canāt rescue? Join me under the cut for a full recap and review of the pilot to find out!
Voice Actor Roundup
Just doing this at the top this time. But this series is STACKED with some of the best and most storied vaās in the business.Ā
First off we have voice acting legend and superstar of the 90ā²s, Tress Macneille, who voiced both Chip and Gadget. She SHOUDLNāT need an introduction but since you insisit, sheās voiced Daisy Duck, Dot Warner, Babās Bunny, Agnes Skinner, Lunchlady Doris (Taking over for doirs Grow), Dolph (Aka the bully you forget exists half the time) , Charlotte Pickles, Hello Nurse, Humphrey the Hippo, Pookie and Queen Oona among MANY more. Sheās a legend and rightfully sits at the top of this list.Ā
Next up is the likewise prolific corey burton adsDale and Zipper, aka Ludvig Von Drake. IN addition heās been G1 Shockwave, The Narrator for both Disneyās Goofy Shorts and Dexterās Lab, The Timmverse Brainiac, Metallo, Toymaker, Transformer Animated Shockwave, Megatron and Ratchet, V.V. Argost (God I both miss the secret saturdays, want a reboot and need to cover it at some ponit), Red Tornado (BBATB) , Malware, Monster Arm and Cad Bane. ANd given a credits sheet like that i really shouldāve known who he was by name sooner than this review.Ā
Next up to bat is Jim Cummings as THREE diffrent roles. This is truly Cummingsamania. Itās something my good friend @jess-the-vampireā, who saw the pilot with me noticed as did I as while he has a few set voices, heās still very distinctive. He plays Fat Cat, Professor Nimul and MOntery Jack, so the series two main antagonists and one of itās main characters, and if your wonderingĀ āwait is there a section of this pilot where itās only him talking for about two minutesā then yes, yes there is. Heās that good. He needs no real introduction as iāve played him up enough over the years and he also has shown up in EVERY one of my reviews of the disney afternoon pilots. No really he was El Capitan in ducktales, Don Karnage in Tailspin, Pete in Goof Troop and of course Darkwing Friggin Duck in do I really have to say it. I wasnāt kidding in the tailspin review when I said it felt like he had a rider in his contract with disney that stated they had to put him in every show they made. And iām still not kidding when I say he should get that rider back.Ā
Another voice that really needs no introduction, because iāve done it enoguh, is Rob Paulsen. If you donāt know who he is, I canāt help you. He plays Detective Drake.Ā
Finally we have Alas Oppenhimer, a vetran actor whose STILL GOING, as he showed up in Toy Story 4. He was also MOTHERFUCKING SKELETOR. While iāll cop to never having watched the original he man (nor either of this years reboots, iāve been busy), I know that gloriously hammy neying voice anywhere. So the manās a legend in my book and does a great job here as the pilotās main antagonist Clordaine and Plato, Drakes dog. Now weāre all settled up on with the show!
Part One: Catsino Royale
Iām giving the episodes my own names because their literally justĀ āRescue Rangers to the Rescue Part Xā and I felt something was missing when I didnāt do this for Tailspin, which has the same problem. And it being part of a tv movie is no excuse: Ducktales gave each part of itās serials their own episode name, and came before this, the reboot did the same for each of itās hour long episodes as well as itās movie length finale, and even non-disney shows like Craig of the Creek get you canāt have a five part episode and not give it names. Itās just cumbersome. Two or three parts I can abide itās why iām not chewing out darkly dawns the duck, but when you have 5 parts put in some subtitles.Ā
Before we get to the episode, we have to talk about the theme song. Unsuprisingly for the Disney Afternoon it freaking slaps and was a joy to hear multiple times throughout my binge of this pilot mini-series. It just has a great flow to it and that synth at the start is damn good. Itās only real failing.. is that it ONLY mentions chip n dale despite there being 3 other main characters, and while I could get neglecting the pet sidekick in zipper, Gadget is the reason they surivive half the time and Monty .. well he has character at least.Ā
So this is one of those pilots that slowly introduces the main cast across a few episodes. Itās a common trait for these Disney shows, only Darkwing Duck had all the leads in the first episode, the rest took a few episoides before everyone was together, though no more than three. Itās a nice way to ease into the cast and let everyone get settled as a character.Ā
So here weāre introduced to our brothers from the same mother who weāll never meet unless that happens to be a plot point in the live action film.. which iām actually excited for, if for nothing else than the pitch perfect casting of John Mulaney as Chip and Andy Samberg as Dale. I swear if the DT2017 versions actually talked, thatās what they woudlāve gone with and we all know it.Ā
Their your classic odd couple: Chip is a bit neat and cautious, and Dale slacks off and has the attention span of.. well a chipmunk. Still the two do love to goof off together and clearly love one another. Their also both big fans of Detective Donald Drake and his canine sidekick Plato and thus follow the two when they see them fly by. If your thnking those names are awfully familliar, your not wrong as itās clear the two are homages to Chip N Daleās most recurring screen partners, my boy Donald Duck and the other major disney star I canāt stand Pluto.Ā
Surprisingly though the Donald Stand in.. is the worst part of this pilot. Heās a bland, stertoypical detective whose about to retire and has a personal grudge with the thought dead by everyone but him crime boss whose naturally alive Klordane. He has no personality: he just wants to stop klordaine and while the Chipmunk Bros and Drakeās Dog Plato hype drake up.. he comes off as just some schumck. This wouldnāt be bad.. but the pilot spends a good chunk of itās running times on scnees focusing on this schmuck instead of any of our main characters. The first episode is a slog for the first half because after Chip and Daleās introduction we spend about 8 minutes mostly focusing on this guy with the occasional interlude from our two gumshoes and their mentor plato.Ā
Plato, much like his boss is an inversion of his classic disney counterpart... in this case hāes actually interesting. Plato is a well worn police hound with the voice of a poet who looks after the boys like a father, mentors them well and reluctantly lets them go into danger and clearly loves these kids. Heās a character I honestly wish carried over into the series proper unlike his master and is the only reason drake is remotely tolerable.Ā
But the pilotās main focus is around drake himself for some reason: After a shot up at a warehouse we absoltuely did not need and if trimmed along with a rather terrible part of next episode, would make this pilot movie a far more resonable four parts, Drake is framed for the theft of a rare ruby by Klaudaine, who has his cat Fat Cat put gambling slips and the ruby in drakeās pocket. I just spent about two sentences describing about EIGHT MINUTES OF screen time, your welcome. Chip and Dale get a bit fighting one of Klaudaineās thugs thatās all you missed.Ā
So Drake gets thrown in jail because the cops are suddenly brain dead despite this very obvious frame up and make zero attempts to actually clear drake despite one of them OUTRIGHT SAYING IāTS AN OBVIOUS FRAME JOB.Ā
Oh and it gets DUMBER, somehow. Plato acts up a bit, because you know even if he talks when the humans arenāt looking heās still a dog.. and they THROW HIM IN DRAKEāS CELL TO SHUT UP HIM .Ā
Oh and the cherry on top? Despite this asinine half of the episode... this ISNāT the worst one of the pilot episodes. Itās close.. but the next episode is so much worse in a very familiar way.Ā
Thankfully we get back to the show actually being good for a moment, as Plato berates himself for his impulsiveness and that now he canāt clear Drakes name. But the boys point out THEY can, and while Platoās reluctant to put the lads in harms way, he agrees to let them go after the amulet
So they do.. and while Klordaine goes to bed, we find Fat Cat is himself a crime boss complete with minions and takes the ruby out to go have some fun at his casino, or if you will, Catsino. If the show isnāt going to use that pun I sure as hell am.Ā
So we get a fun bit as the boys go undercover, with Daleās impulsivness getting on Chips nerves. I do like this though: in the classic shorts the two basically shared a brain. WhileĀ āoneās kinda straightlaced and the otherās a goofusā isnāt ORIGINAL, persay, itās still more interesting with both complimenting each other and the full team once itās assembled: Chip is the leader the team needs, a strategic mind, while Dale can think on the fly better and both are more grounded than their future teammates.
So things go how youād expect: Chip is all sneaking and Dale.. wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
We also get a musical number... which I was not ready for but damn is it fun. Jim Cummings knows how to do a villain song and do it right and this is his SECOND. Iām honestly shocked Negaduck never sang, and iām certain the reboot wouldāve let him.. if we got a fourth season. And yes iām still on that, let shows actually last Disney.Ā
Naturally Dale blows it for them by dancing with Fat cat, our heroes try to run, they get caught and Fat Cat gets the Ruby Back, and we end on a cliffhanger as our heroes are dangled over a roof.Ā
Part 2: The Shockingly Racist One
So yeah as you can probably guess by the title, this one started with a content warning from Disney+, so me and Jess spent the first 6 minutes or so wondering when the shoe was going to drop and if so just, HOW racist. As you can probably gather from the title, VERY , but weāll get to that in a moment.Ā
I wonāt make you sweat it as long though. Our heroes survive, I wonāt bore you with the miraculous details of their escape. While they do Fat Cat prepares to head to Chinatown, and has a clever means of transit: he calls a pizza boy, has a pizza delivered to his hideout and stows away in the back while the PIzza Boy angrily stomps on it and goes to Chinatown. Chip N Dale follow in the wheel of the delivery scooter thing, and arrive in Chinatown, where said Pizza Boy promptly rage quits over another prank order. He can do better and if that car is his, heās already got a sweet ride. Thatās most than most fictional non-pornographic pizza boys have.Ā
So with that.. Fat Cat goes into meet the twins, two Siamese Cat Sisters and crime lords clearly modeled in part off the Siamese cats from Lady and the Tramp. But first.. their greeted by a buck tooth, stereotypically accented siamise cat working for them.Ā
And it somehow gets worse from there: Not only do the sisters have an ARMY of Buck Toothed cats, not only are both voiced by Tress, who is white, but are also steroyptican and have an EQUALLY sterotypical fish named Juice lee that Fat Cat is buying off them. This leads to our heroes eventaully being chased by an ARMY of stereotypes due to Daleās shenanigans.Ā
Do.. do I REALLY need to explain why NONE of this, even by 1980ā²s racisim standards, is okay? Even for the 80ā²s/early 9ā²s when we got things like Long Duck Dong and... this.Ā
This is still REALLY bad. Just wave after wave of oh my fucking god. Iāve seen PLENTY of old school racisim from Ducktales 87 but I have to admit.. this is worse. This is just worse in every way. ITās longer, even more offensive and even more tone death. Itās probably the second most racist thing iāve reviewed for this blog and lest you think that lets it off the hook...
IT is just mind bogglingly bad and while Iām VERY glad things have MASSIVELY improved, with works like Shang Chi, Amphibia, Big Hero six and so much more giving Asian People from all backgrounds a voice, it dosenāt change the fact that disney shoudlnāt of been THIS far back. And I know iām screaming at a 31 year old episode of television, I know.. but it shows that Disneyās problems with dragging their feet with progress are baked into the companies dna. If they were having stuff THIS bad on their kids shows in 1989, itās no wonder it took them this long to have a queer lead in a childrenās show or that their trying to bury said show because they havenāt learned their lessons.
Okay so thankfully weāre onto the second half of the episode which aisde from the racist fish, is just your standard cartoon plot. Fat Cat wants to steal a bunch of fish, because cat using a hose because wacky cartoon shenanigans, our heroes want to stop him because good guys and end up in the hold because they need to introduce our next lead characters.
Said characters are Montery Jack, or Monty for short, and Zipper. Monty is, as Allison Pregler would say, Australian but Incomptent while Zipper is his voice of reason and gets Monty to not bullshit so much, which is a pretty funny running gag: Monty will make a bold face dlie, and Zipper will make a few noises at him till Monty finally tells the truth.Ā
Anyways Monty happens to be living in the cargo hold of the ship Fat Cat has stolen... which leads me to wonder if Garfiledās ever stolen a boat and if so why not? Heās been seen swimming so the cat sterotype that he dosenāt like water dosenāt apply to him..
And Boats combine everything he loves, eating, lounging, and being away from people. Except John, John would obviously be required to captain the boat because Garfield donāt put in effort unles he has to, but he would for a boat.
And imagine what kind of shenanigans Garfleld could get up to on a boat.Ā
He could sail out to international waters and sell leftover car cling things of himself, go to italy and conquer it so he can rule it like an angry but lazy god and have all the lasanga he wants, or go to france and pick up some of those washed up garfield phones, or go to my boy Bill Murrayās house and smack him upside the head for refusing to do a ghostbusters III but doing both live action garfield movies. WHat iām saying is this shoudlāve been the sequel movie instead, this needs to be in the new show nickās doing, and Iād rather talk abotu garfield stealing a boat than this episode but iām not getting paid to talk about garfield stealing a boat, yet, so letās get back to the episode.Ā
Our heroes and Monty get into a classic letās you and him fight sorta deal and spend about two minutes fighting, which is two minutes I wonāt get back but is still better than the time spent with drake or 1930ā²s racisim today, so iāll take it.Ā
So anyways Fat Cat makes a horrible mistake
Thankfully Skinnerās back on shore but he also destroys montyās house unloading the cargo. So Monty agrees to team up with our heroes as he goes on a rampage. Our heroes get on the boat and successfully foil Fat Catās plot, but he and his minons book it out of there as itās about to be hit by another boat!
Part 3: A God Is Born
So our heroes naturally surivive this via some clever thinking, but didnāt get the medallion back yet. It ends up back with Klordane as heās preparing for the next part of the plan in the arctic and letās fat cat come along because heās a good pet owner. Fat Cat puts the jewel back via some shenanigans, and instead of gettnig mad at his cat for actingĀ up, Klordane pets him gently. Are.. are we sure Drakeās REALLY the good guy here? I mean sure Klordane framed him and calls him just to taunt him, but he also has an actual personality while Drake is supsiciously bland. Plus heās you know a a white vetran officer in the 1980ā²s so thereās a 99.9% chance he stopped a black guy just for being black at some point so iām only not on team Klordane because team chipmunk is about to get gadget.Ā
Our heroes canāt stow away on the plane in time, but Monty happens to know a friend named Hackenwrench who can help and so takes the guys to his friends Lair. I havenāt really stopped to talk about Monty yet: Heās an okay character but has a BAD habit in this pilot of being unlikeably impulsive. With Dale iāts just clear he has a short attention span: with Monty itās all ego and temper and thus itās hard to root for him when he ruins their plan and charges in becauseĀ āI knows better mate!. The fact he canāt be around cheese without having a cheese attack and snarfing it does not help, though loving cheese myself I get it I just have an ounce of self control. Itās just an ounce but still.Ā
Dale slowly gets fed up with these two idiots, but puts up with them because he has no other options and they make their way into Hackwrenchās lab.. and find it armed to the teet for the most classic of reasons
No really the lady of the house had been getting too many door to door salesmen. So after some death defying we meet said lady, Montyās old friends daughter, about 80 thousand peopleās furry awakening, and the god of her own cult, Gadget Hackenwrench.Ā
I mean that jumpsuit alone Kim you gotta give me that... oh wait itās the cult thing. Yeah long story short for those who didnāt know, and before doing my research for the review I was one of ya:, yes, this is absolutely true.Ā
There is a cult in russia that worships Gadget and feels if they prey hard enough they will make her real. It grew out of a fanpage where some of the fans decidedĀ āNo this isnāt enough WE HAVE TO MAKE HER OUR GODESS AND SPILL BLOOD IN HER NAMEā Okay iām not sure if any of them HAVE spilled blood in her name but I wouldnāt be surprised. My point is this is very real and be doing you and Kev, the guy who commissioned this a diservice if I didnāt at least mention it. The fact there was a CnD episode about a cult yet they started one anyway is not lost on me either, nor is the fact their goal is noble if batshit insane. So I got nothing against them, if they want ot make a sexy mouse come to life, they do them. Frankly I wish all cults were as harmless.Ā
So as it turns out Gadget REALLY did set up the gadgets for solicitors as sheās gotten a LOT since then.. including for her own religion which is really confusing. Sheās been all alone since her dad died. This seemingly leaves our heroes up shits creek without a plane but naturally given this is the 80ā²s and soon to be early 90ā²s, the name isnāt just for show and not only does Gadget have her old fatherās plane, she knows how ot use it.. kind of. She nearly gets them killed because sheās a classic absent minded professor type: she has a LOT of intelligence and is very kind.. but also forgets simple things like breaks or making sure everyone dosenāt go up in a fireball.Ā
Gadget iāll admit is easily my favorite of the main characters. Tress does a wonderful job with her, and while itās VERY weird to hear her using what would be her stock voice for children out of an implicitly grown woman, it still works
As Klordane meets with the series second major antagonist, Professor Norton Nimul, who was modeled after Disney Animator Bruce Talkington. The guys look exactly alike itās eerie. Nimul is a mildly egotistical genius, sore Klordane is considering everything his plan when itās NImulās genius that makes it possible.
This really dosenāt go anywhere, but iāll take the plot going nowhere over the animated equilvent of breakfast at Tiffanyās any day.Ā
So while Klordane goes to do things and stuff, Nimul is left cat sitting Fat Cat and spots SOMETHING coming up and thus attacks the rescue rangers, shattering the steel eagle. Our heroes still press on, going up against Fat Cat who now mutually hates the rangers.. well The Boys anyway, Gadget only just met the guy.Ā
So we get our requisite cliffhanger with an avalanche a comin on our heroes.Ā
Part 4: Que Sera? Sera
Our heroes naturally survive that...because kids show, and it turns out Gadget fixed the Steel Eagle into itās more blimp like shape weāre more familiar with.
So while our heroes make their way back, Nimul breaks out Drake and everyone assumes he escaped and...
Back with our heroes, who are back in town, Chip wants to make a plan to go after Klordaine, while Monty.. just wants to dive in head first. Which caused the avalanche last episode. And in general has screwed them over. So he decides to split from the team, and Dale saysĀ ābut what about what we mean to each other.Ā
You.. you guys just met a day ago. I mean it FEELS like a thousand years have passed in this pilot but itās only been two days at most.Ā
So Monty bails.... honestly they can do better in the sidekick department.Ā
I mean he can still lift stuff for them. Also if your wondering how the heck these two are in the same universe despite Rescue Rangers using humans.... I assume this version of the rescue rangers, the same one from legend of the chaos god, just have ducks, dog faces and what have you instead of men.Ā
So our remaining heroes go to talk to Plato and find out about the whole Drake thing. Klordane sends Fat Cat to make sure the dog stays out of it as heās figured out by now that Plato is the only competent officer in the precinct and thus the only one who can thwart his plans.Ā
So we get some more stupid as Plato obviously takes the bait, and is made to look rabid and thrown in a pound via shaving cream. You know if this were ANY other prisinct iād call them out for this but at this point why bother? Itās like screaming at the sun.. all it does is get it to chase you till you throw a block at it.Ā
So our heroes end up in the pound to spring Plato and meet the Pound Underground, a very french poodle voiced by Rob Paulsen, and an unidentified lump of hare named Que Sera voiced by Tony Jay of all people who responds to his name iwth Sera. A cute bit.
Gadget is also REALLY into that Dog, though the boys quickly break it up. Guys youāve known her only slightly longer, let her make up her own mind. If she wants to find some way to make love to a dog thatās on her.Ā
So our new heroes, who shockingly given this series debut queue attitude arenāt part of the main team, help get to Plato whose given up because heās tried nothing and heās all out of ideas. The Twins rightfully call him out on giving up, telling him Plato taught them better. Plato gets the hint, and our heroes go to help him escape now heās got his fire back only to run into an angry guard dog. Thankfully Monty changed his mind kid, helps save them and the underground finish the job allowing everyone to escape.Ā
With Klordaneās plan ticking down, our heroes rush to stop him, now joined by Plato.. who I REALLY wished had either been a recurring character or full member of the group after this. Heās charming, makes a good mentor, and is just a joy to be around. We didnāt NEED Drake to come back. Just leave the bull dog.Ā
So our heroes head into Klordaneās lair for the final show down as we enter our finale
Part 5: Jelloquake
So itās time for Klordaneās plan.. see if you can follow this: Heās going to have Nimul use the laser to quick start some gelatin, so he can shake the national gold reserve loose and rob it with no one having ever known he was there.Ā
Why dosenāt he just use the laser for the same thing?
So our heroes head in to stop Klordane and the quake, and plan to remove the ruby... only to encounter Fat Cat. One Climactic Showdown later, our heroes successfully stop the laser, and free drake, without him knowing, and allow him to run up top and out Klordaneās plan.
But while Klordane has been outed as the bad guy he still plans to escape on a train and does so, chaining up Plato when he follows him. Our heroes follow with Gadgetās help, if barely surviving because she didnāt think STOPPPING would be something theyād need to do, and try to use the blow torch that powered her improvised thing to free Plato. Plato instead passes the torch, dubbing them a bunch of things and saying they could be a true team. Chip takes this to heart and thus the Rescue Rangers are finally truly born and head to the top of the cabin, beating Klordane by using their size against him , with a then freed Plato getting the final blow. Klordane confesses and gets taken to jail and the day is saved!Ā
I did breeze over this part.. but it is really good, a tense tightly packed finale, itĀ just didnāt give me a ton to recap.
So with that we have our ending: Drake retires, no one cares, Plato prepares to leave, not a dry eye in the house and Plato urges the team to stick together as both Monty and Gadget make plans to leave. Itās only after overhearing a girl who lost her dog do the two realize their calling and set out on their first true case. A team is born, and some crimes.. will no longer slip through the cracks.Ā
Final Thoughts:
The Rescue Rangers Pilot is the weakest of the five pilots thus far, but itās still not bad. The characters are set up well and while the Big Bad of the five parter is ONLY there for the five parter, more focus is given to his sidekicks, who will quickly take his place. The animation, as always for disney at this time, is drop dead gorgeous, the voice cast is super talented, itās not bad.Ā
What makes it the weakest though is a combination of racisim, which while present in the ducktales premier is more blatant here, and poor pacing. We get too many scenes of Drake which I naturally skimmed over because thatās not what anyoneās here for, that just reiterateĀ āHeās in jailā, not helped by the rest of his presicnt being somehow LESS competent than Hitchcock and Scully.Ā
I mean how do you even.. never mind, almost done Jake, almost done.Ā
So yeah that combined with the shocking racisim really drags the pilot down. Had they cut this down a bit , i.e. cut out most of the stuff with drake in the first episode and ALL the racism from teh second, this couldāve and shouldāve been four parts. As shown with TaleSpin the pilot dosenāt HAVE to be five parts and frankly the best pilots so far have been the shorter ones, with TailSpinās tight four episodes and darkwing merely being a two parter allowing for a much quicker, more cohesive story.Ā Ā
I still say the pilot is worth a watch though, itās weirdly buried in the episode order.. to the point me and jess watched ENTIRELY diffrent episodes for the first one, but itās still worth watching first as it is good setup and still not half bad.. just.. maybe fast forward through the racism. For your sanityās sake.Ā
So with the five original Disney Afternoon Pilots all covered thereās only one thing left.... so come back Friday for LEGEND OF THE CHAOS GOD, to see all five sets of heroes battle overwhelming evil. And come back before that for more reviews. And if you really enjoy this review consider doing a commission yourself or joining my patreon! Thanks for reading.Ā