#monstrous compendium

The Outer Planes Appendix (1991) was my jam, man. When D&D 2E came out, the extraplanar monsters, particularly the devils and demons, were removed. This was in response to headaches caused by Satanic Panic ding-dongs; TSR during this time was keen to not make the mothers of their increasingly younger player base angry. Devils and demons wouldn’t stay gone forever though! It only took two years for them to reappear, albeit with silly fantasy names like Baatezu and Tanar’ri instead of devil and demon. Whatever, they had horns and pitchforks and were cool as hell. I feel like I had this folder of monsters in my bag for most of eighth grade. No wonder I was such a sucker for Planescape when it came out a couple years later.

Tom Baxa did all the interiors. So many cool monster illustrations. That cambion is tops. I dig his Githyanki and Githzerai a lot too. Lemure, Piscoloth, Slaadi, Larvae. I really like how he does the “school photo inset” for the bar-lgura and the babau. Baxa’s…unusual sense of physiology serves him well drawing this outsiders.

So you may have seen my banner. Those, my good friends, are the Neogi. They are, in simplest of terms: Space Assholes. Now you may find some information about them on the internet these days, you may find their 3rd edition, 4th edition or even 5th edition information, but really, the sheer amount of potential these guys had in 2nd edition and how little was defined is actually fascinating.

The full image is:

      Source: Astromundi Cluster boxset

      Source: 4th Edition D&D

So, where to start with these space spider/moray eel bastards? Guess I should go into their 2nd edition stats...which I’ll post at the end of this post. 

Neogi aren’t particularly fearsome themselves, oh no. In fact reading their damage, with their measly 1d3 dmg for their front legs (only 2 legs can attack) and despite their bite (1d6 dmg) being able to inject slowing venom into what they hit per bite, meaning they do indeed receive 3 attacks per turn, that was only 1/10th of their danger. Any Neogi worth their salt has their own Umber Hulk companion. Yes, an umber hulk. Now if you think you can board their ship and take them on in a 1v40+ fight then good luck. 

Neogi could cast spells, yes, but it was only in later Dragon magazine editions that Neogi were given their own spells (ranging from a variant of magic missile where they launch their venom to xenomorph chest bursting shenanigans) and magic items (an amulet that could be worn as a ring of protection +1 that also has hold person as a usable effect!!) and if you gave them such utility then you bet your ass you increase the XP given to your players if they manage to kill one of these Neogi.

So, quick overview of the Neogi ecology, they view everything from the point of ownership: They own everything, you are just property unclaimed by them. They are assholes from their feat of accidentally activating and inflicting the crystal spheres with the clockwork horrors to their own destructive reproductive means as a way of removing the old because who cares about the old let’s get more Neogis we’re the best. Granted something interesting I find about Spelljammer is just how many asexual species they explicitly had and continued to create. Neogi have no gender nor sex, nor any concept of it and think everything is its own unique species because of the vast levels of differentiation every species has. How did they reproduce? I’ll get into that in a bit. As a final note for the ecology, they had a hierarchy of titles like Captain Owner, servant slave and so forth. Only umber hulks seem to tickle their fancy as constant slaves, other slave races were disposable (unless you were a gnome or halfling, then you were dinner).

And yet, there is something much more sinister about the Neogis other than the fact that they’re hellbent on enslaving galaxiies. Their venom is what causes mind control, or at least that’s what the AD&D monster manual says it does. This venom, when injected enough, ranges from being able to break someone’s spirit by making them attached to the Neogi to making Umber Hulks unflappably loyal to their master, all the way to being the methods of their reproduction thanks to their now dead god of creation  Ka'jk'zxl. To me that venom is just, the connotation behind it and purposefully envenoming people with such a substance is far more evil and cruel than their almost comedic goals.

No really, the Neogi gods killed  Ka'jk'zxl by injecting it with their venom that was laced with the vices of Neogi culture: friendship, love, compassion, companionship and sharing (I am not kidding if only I were kidding). What I find fun about Spelljammer’s identity is that it flipflops between really interesting, thought provoking concepts to whacky, seemingly improvised creative mishmashes (Which was an actual problem that TSR faced because of insane deadlines and their own cruel Neogi master who ousted Gary Gygax and drove the company into the dirt financially). 

So why the Neogi as a first analysis? Because they were meant to be one of the big bad doods of Spelljammer, but I feel like they were overshadowed by the Illithid, Beholders, Stellar Dragons, Radiant Dragons, Elminster visiting Ed Greenwood by jumping through an asteroid portal to get German beer (this is cannon!!!) and eventually, and strangely, strangely contested by another alien race who have a similar goal of galactic conquest but are “neutral”, the K’r’r’r (try pronouncing that right the first time you read that). 

Next time I talk about Neogi I’ll break out my old Dragon magazine and go into more detail about their society, their religion and maybe even their outer planar cousins, the Tso. Also if you are wondering if there is such a thing as good Neogi, the answer is yes- the Reavers. The Neogi who realize just how screwed up and stupid Neogi society is, and say sod it. These Neogi are usually older, and may be selected to become Great Old Masters (which is the codeword for breeding sow ).

Neogi stats under cut: