#monkeyman2020

…look, they can’t all be extravagant and long, okay? Sometimes you need to ask simpler questions. If anything, it’ll make the longer ones stand out more. So… yeah. Thank you in advance!

M: Ah, well.. I suppose that is a trick question, considering i can’t really tas- ahaha, i mean pineapples! cause.. spongebob… I think.

S: Strawberries! They’re just so… Juicy! And I can waste time picking all the seeds!

N: grapes. just grapes. that’s it.

My question is a simple one; one of the philosophy. You see, there is another account quite similar to yours with the title @ddicpoly, whom I am linking here arbitrarily for no reason. Of course, the concept of a parallel ask account to yours does intrigue me effervescently; as such, it enables me to ask... what would happen if two separate DDLC ask accounts gave each other asks?

Would it result in a recursive circle of asks, with everyone having around the same answers? Would there be fascinating differences between the different versions of you? Or would it be impossible to construct such a feat, due to the hassle of writing roleplay in someone else's ask box without checking to see if they'd be coot with it beforehand wanting to keep the fabric of reality intact and not interact with alternate universes of yourselves so flagrantly.

Furthermore... what are your guys' collective thoughts on all of you five (including MC) being together in this parallel dimension? Is it interesting? Disturbing? Or is it just the nature of the thousands of infinite universes that could possibly exist? I mean, who knows! Maybe there's a universe where you guys are real!

...ly good at Sudoku!

Anywho! Monkeyman, signing off. Pleasant travels, every-club-dy!!

M: So, alternate realities are real…

S: Eee! I wonder how my alternate selves are!!

Y: ..I read about this kind of thing. Perhaps we could maybe even see our male versions of ourselves.

M: You mean genderbends?

Y: That could be the term.

N: Who cares about genderbends? There’s a whole nother hot Yuri out there! T-that doesn’t mean I’m not loyal! I like this Yuri as much, maybe more, than other Yuries!

Y: Um.. Thanks? I think?

But anyway, I’ve concocted a little… scenario for the both of you. Call me Jigsaw, because this is going to be morbidly puzzling!

I have placed two books in the center of the room. One of them, a copy of Portrait of Markov, and the other, the first book in the Parfait Girls series. You both have to read the other’s favorite book. (Ergo, Yuri reads Parfait Girls 1, and Natsuki reads Portrait of Markov.)

You can only leave after finishing the book and have found yourself thoroughly invested, so you can bond with your girlfriend on shared interests and understand each other more poignantly than ever before. Or, alternatively, you can open the door, because I didn’t lock it.

You know, I notice I seem to have the capability to place a lot of objects inside of your clubroom. Maybe I can do that to myself! And then I can surprise Monika with the prospect of someone new. Though that’d be a logistical nightmare to cram into a blog post, I realize.

Anywho, under these circumstances, your love shall blossom anew and you will be able to bond with each other about your favorite types of literature tenfold! And it’s all thanks to a certain someone… yourselves! Because your varied literature tastes are the reason this was even put into motion!

I hope you realize that your differences are what make you such good fits for each other, and not the opposite. You can each sort of counteract each other’s flaws! This is why they say “opposites attract”, presumably.

I wish you good luck. Sayonara, rieaders.

Y: O-Oh.. I suppose that could be fun… Right, Natsuki?

N: Aagh, Mmh! Fine! I’ll read horror just this once… BUT ONLY THIS ONCE!

Y: A-And I’ll try manga, too. If you’ll read my book, it’s only fair I do the same..

N: But I’m not reading it in this stupid room.

*Natsuki leaves with Portrait of Markov in her hands, grumbling to herself.

It appears that Yuri is not present in the profile picture of this here blog. It’s possible this is a mistake. HOWEVER! I have evidence that leads me to believe this was deliberate! Put on your tin foil hats, Yuri and Yuri-lovers alike (supposedly, people who love Yuri are called either himejoshis or himedanshis… who knew?), because right now is the time for baseless speculation!

You see, there is very clearly some empty space above Natsuki’s head in the picture of profile. Enough space to fit the literature club’s conjecturally-officiated third-in-command, no doubt. But peculiarly, all we see is a few strands of Yuri’s hair. Odd.

It’s possible, perhaps, that this could be because the other club members simply don’t like Yuri. However, I am very skeptical of this, because Yuri is great and also because this blog would have been made behind her often-aching back.

Maybe Natsuki specifically requested for Yuri to be farther from her, as they have some form of beef. Or, to use a phrase that suits Monika’s vegetarian palate, they have a garlic-like opposition to one another. If this is the case, then, uhhhhhhhhh, I don’t know that’s interesting I suppose.

But! All the evidence points to it being symbolic! Yeeeees, don’t think I haven’t noticed how Sayori’s face is only halfway visible on the profile picture! The only thing to figure out now, I’m sure you realize, is what this could be symbolic for. What do Monika and Natsuki have the most of, that Sayori has somewhat, that Yuri barely has at all?

Other than having the letters ‘Yuri’ in your name, which would explain why Sayori is only halfway in the profile picture…

And that, of course, is quite simple. Confidence. Or at least, how all of you present their confidence.

Monika and Natsuki both give off confidence in spades! Monika as the (allegedly) most popular girl in the school and club president, and Natsuki’s somewhat-abrasive demeanor is itself a result of confidence!

Sayori, of course (2), while also presenting herself as confident from time-to-time, sometimes has a tendency to undervalue herself to her friends. Believing falsely that she is somehow lesser than her clubmates and that she could be replaced easily. These blatant untruths are what is holding her back in this confidence category.

And finally, Yuri… well, when you think of Yuri, a lot of words come to mind. Elegant. Sophisticated. Tall. Purple. The-informal-classification-of-a-romance-between-two-women. But I’d wager two— nay, three dollars that “presenting herself as confident” isn’t on the metaphysical bingo board!

Of course (3), this begs the question of what it all means. Why would someone, most likely Monika, choose to do something like this? Does this person, probably Monika, have some vendetta against Yuri? Does this mysterious and purely theoretical person, who may or may not have associations with the green-eyed president of this club, feel some form of jealousy that Yuri has longer hair and more mesmerizing eyes and the very small self-restraint needed to not temporarily kill her friends in the name of becoming free from the reality in which has been ordained to her?

Eh. Probably. No, my hyperbolically-considered compadres. This is meant to be a subtle sign towards motivation! Yes, a subconscious kickstart of a scheme to increase Yuri’s self-confidence! Delightfully devilish, Monika! I mean, random person who could have taken the photo.

That, or it’s meaningless because there was no picture that has the Dokis close enough together that was high-quality enough to be used as a profile. But, come on. The evidence all adds up! I’m not insane!!!

All this to say… I shall contribute to this brilliantly-bedazzling bookworm-boistering bargain.

As in… I shall compliment Yuri.

Yuri has a level of intelligence I think a lot of people act like they are but end up conceited in the process. And Yuri herself remains rather humble! How cool of her.

But hey. That’s just a theory! (The symbolism for confidence, not Yuri being intelligent. That’s a certified fact!) And I’ll leave you to discern what type of theory it is. One of the sensical, one of the game, or one of the “wow this guy is kind of lame”.

Only time, and you four, but mostly you four, shall tell…

M: um actually the picture was just too big for all of us to fit in-

Hm. That works, actually. Jasmine, you are hereby dubbed Ms. Plus under my Monkeyman denominations. You also inherit the color red from the formerly philosophized MC (who will be getting the color bold instead). I have no idea what I’d do with a SIXTH member!

Anywho. You seem to be quite the character. No animosity from the other Dokis whatsoever seem to be seen! How lucky. And you fit their wants of a fifth member to a T! 

Unfortunately, as most things, I need to see it to believe it. Nobody is without flaws, and flaws are what make people interesting and special! Well, to be fair, you ARE quite special already — I didn’t expect Monika to have any non-club friends! But I guess she is popular. And does that mean you are ALSO popular…? Hm. Perhaps a line of questioning that shall be picked up at another time.

Anywho, two! It is time for the most expansive, days-upon-days-to-write-and-answer special: Monkeyman’s Jasmine Ask-DDLC Catch-Up Extravanganza! I was going to make a wacky introduction for each of the club members, but, apparently you know about files and the like, so, any morbid jokes intended to go over your head towards Monika would be caught by you.

As for the Monkeyman’s Jasmine Ask-DDLC Catch-Up Extravanganza! (with an exclamation mark) itself… it’s simple, really! We’ve gleaned so much insight from all the Dokis’ answers to various questions. And, well, gosh, it would be such a darn shame for us to have to ask ALREADY-ANSWERED topics to see your opinion on it, Jazzy. (Can I call you Jazzy? I’m not calling you Jazzy, that’s weird and we don’t know each other that well.) 

Short of appending every previously answered question to have your answer, a chronological anachronism and a ludicrous task to behold, the only way to remedy this is to play “catch-up” of sorts.

As in, answer every previously asked question you weren’t present for.

Good luck!

📚 (by Anonymous)

*gives you cupcake* (also by Anonymous. What will you do with the cupcake, Jasmine? Is it poisoned? Rotten? Who knows…?!)

“You are now manually breathing.” (by 🌌Starsheet anon)

You have lost the game (by Anonymous), and an explanation on what “losing the game” means (by a different Anonymous).

“If a tree falls in the forest and nobody sees it, can it pick itself back up?” (by another Anonymous. Boy, this Anonymous person sure does ask a lot of questions…)

Trick or treat! (by yet another Anonymous. It’s not Halloween anymore but timing isn’t important when it comes to catching up!)

Candy delivery! (by once again another Anonymous. Technically I gave kind encouraging words to all the Dokis before this, but that doesn’t particularly involve you, sooooo, yeah. Make do with the scraps that may or may not be leftover!)

The “me vs. matey” saga (with me, monkeyman2020, and TheFirstMatey involved. This isn’t exactly a question, but it’s an important event! Read about it and tell me your thoughts, JJ!)

“how many of y’all are gay?” Ergo; what is your orientation, Jasmine? (also by Anonymous, without the Jasmine part naturally. By process of elimination, you have the best chances with Monika. It’s almost a cliché, I mean, having a new character possibly get with Monika. I myself have fallen into that line of thinking. Sooo, yeah.)

What question would each of you want to ask the others? (by moi, monkeyman2020. You also DO need to answer said others’ questions! So, I’ll also list those!)

What is everyone’s (your) favorite book? (By Sayori)

If you could bodyswap with anyone you know, who would it be? (By Yuri. Let me put my bets in now; the answer’s going to be Monika.)

“HOW ARE YOU ALL SO TALL?!” (By Natsuki. This may or may not apply to you, Jasmine, depending on your height. If you are tall, explain how.)

How can I find love in your reality? (By Monika. I mean, I already answered this one… but it’s always nice to hear someone else’s two cents on the matter. Remember to ask your own question to the rest of the Dokis, and answer it yourself for #10!)

If there were a new member to join the club, what would you want their personality to be like? And/or how you’d want them to treat you, for extra introspection points. (by moi, once again! This is the prelude to you, so I’d like to see how YOU answer it. And don’t say “I’m perfectly fine with the amount of members and their personalities right now”, because the OG club could’ve said that and they didn’t. Be creative!)

What’s your favorite music taste? (by lucidental-deactivated20251214. Hey, a non-anonymous! Who… is gone from Tumblr. Hrm. Be prepared to have your music tastes playfully theoretically made fun of by this person who can’t see this, though!)

Something something, Project Libitina’s going forward, etcetera etcetera. (By TheFirstMatey. This isn’t a question and was directed mostly just towards Monika, but maybe you’ll find the information valuable, I don’t know.)

unlimited games but no bacon or unlimited games but no games? (by another Anonymous. Answer the gosh-darn question, Jaaaasmiiiiine.)

Trick or treat! (Again. By another Anonymous. I guess repeats aren’t entirely foreign to this blog… neat! That means what I’m doing could be valuable! Let’s hope it gets answered and not… well, put off indefinitely, hahaha!)

Who’s the most lesbian out of you four?” Errr, five. (by Anonymous again. Easy answer. Unless… you don’t KNOW about Natsuki and Yuri’s…? Ohohoho, what a delightfully devilish way to find out if so.)

There was like, a SUPER cool party everyone had, where everyone danced, I talked with Monika about introspective things, it was a blast. (Constructed by me, monkeyman2020, of course!) The Literature Club Makeshift Prom, or LCMP for short. Now, don’t worry, I can make another one soon enough, but I don’t want to do something so encompassing in a long-winded questionnaire like this, soooo… you get an ice-cold can of soup as a consolation prize. No can openers have been provided. Maybe it’ll cool down by the time you answer the last question.

What’s your favorite fruit? (Once again by me! And actually a short one. How uncharacteristically brief!)

What’s in like being in a game? (By J. “J anon”, if you will. “Janonymous”, if me will. You know this, right? You know about the game files, so you know about the horrifically constraining nature of your existence? That’s how it works? And, hold on a second… J is the first letter of your name… is this a coincidence, Jasmine?! Hm? HMMMMM?)

Most ideal romantic excursion? (By who else but monkeyman2020. That’s me! I mean, if half the words in the question have three or more syllables, you’re basically guaranteed a question by me. Just sayin’, apostrophe.)

What should you do when you want to start a literature club? How to start it? (On behalf of yet another anon, who may or may not see this. Regardless of if they do, I salute you, literature-club-making Anonymous!)

You get an egg. The guy who gave it to you left. (Anonymous who is referencing Deltarune. Eggs are actually a TCS [Time and Temperature Control for Safety] food, so you’ll probably get incredibly sick if you eat the egg that was given to the Dokis over a month ago. I don’t think this club had a fridge…)

How did the barber win the race? He knew a short cut! (By another Anonymous, which gives TheFirstMatey vibes to be honest but I wouldn’t concretely die on that hill. What is your response to the joke, Jasmine?)

What does a typical day look like for you guys? (by a consolidate Anonymous, who is asking the simple questions we have forgotten to. Also, if you can, as question/instruction 28.5, consider encouraging Natsuki to open up about what she wants to do with Yuri. I’m sure she’ll understand. Yuri, anyway.)

What would happen if two separate DDLC ask accounts gave each other asks? (You don’t have an alternate version of yourself, so this is probably less freaky than it is for the others. Uhhh… oh yeah, also by me, Monkeyman, monkeyman2020, “Monkey” as a fellow asker is keen of calling me.)

“What's your favourite animal and do you have any pets 😼😼” (by another anonymous, perhaps the same who asked another question with emojis at the end I don’t know I don’t remember the specifics of all of these questions after I jot them down.)

Golly, an even 30! Not to say there were only 30 “asks” submitted; there were quite a few character-specific questions I neglected to add here, since… you know, they were specific to certain characters. These just happened to add up to a coincidental round, even number.

The answers to all of these questions will show off your character, Jasmine! To ensure that you can stand on your own, four tickets to the Existent Plot-Necessity concert has been provided, for the currently irrelevant remaining members, of course. Existent Plot-Necessity is a band that may or may not exist! What music do they play? Guess you’ll have to ask the Dokis after they get back! (Though you’ll also have to remember to ask the Dokis your own question, if you feel like doing so prior to them leaving. This might take a while…)

Anywho! I wish upon you good virtue and a fantabulous time! Obligatory Aladdin reference here. Good luck!

(To put things in retrospect, this ask was sent around three days before Christmas. Hopefully this isn’t too overwhelming…!) 

Jasmine: oh… um… Okay, this is going to be a lot.

M, N, Y, and S: goodbye jasmine we go to concert now

Jasmine: um- Okay- bye?? Okay, This is a lot of information to gobble up…

*a few minutes later..*

Jasmine: okay. i can do this.

1: Ooh, books.

2: I thought Natsuki was the one to make cupcakes, not an anon?

3: …Thanks, but i don’t think i breathe in the first place, starsheet..

4: what ga- oh. well… um.. yeah, i guess i did lose.

5: maybe if it’s that one character from natsuki’s comic books. yeah. natsuki has comic books AND manga.

6: *materializes a candy bar*

7: candy, ooh.

7(bonus): encouraging words. right. you mean words that reference each girl’s death. um.. well, i was supposed to die, too. but i caught one of monika’s files that lore dumps for the player, and essentially gave myself admin to prevent myself from dying. i don’t have an archive of that, but check this out.

this was supposed to be my final poem before my coded death. No, Monika didn’t plan to leave me hanging, but maybe something else.. though.. I quite haven’t figured that out yet.

8: This is a really stupid saga.. I’m not in the picture, though, i guess i wasn’t really there for the saga when it arrived, but still! Why did you two fight over a freaking profile picture…?

9:I actually haven’t put much thought into my romantical relationship preferences. i just… like people. does that make me bi? straight? gay? i dunno. i like who i like.

10: So i have to ask them a question when theyget back? hmm.. Alright, I guess i’ll think about it.

11: Ooh, tough one. I don’t really have a favourite, but i do like mystery novels.

12: Bodyswap? It’s not- It’s not Monika. Essentially, if i chose Monika, i wouldn’t have a route for the player to choose- anyway, that’s not the point. I would rather bodyswap with a genderbend of me, if i have one. Then nothing changes too much. I don’t like change.

13: How do you explain if someone is tall-? I’m average height for girls my age, anyway..

14: I can’t answer that. I don’t even know my romantical preferences.

15: Wait- I’M the new member- Do i really need to answer this!? Whatever.. Uh, I guess I’m cool? I treat people cool- I don’t know, man..

16: I personally like anything i can bob my head to.

17: Oh.. Wow, okay. Monika and I will be having a very interesting discussion.

18: how about… no?

19: *summons another candy*

20: I know Natsuki and yuri are gay.

21: Couldn’t have made an undertale reference with it being pasta? ..oh well.

22: My digital taste buds are telling me Bananas.

23:Um.. Not a coincidence. and it’s.. kinda awesome. i get to live forever, even when my game rots away. Cause essentially, once a fictional universe is created, it stays alive for eternity. with limitations, sure. But i’m basically freaking immortal!

24: Again, not a romance girl.

25: Well, I was “Vice President” After Sayori died according to Gj’s canon thoughts.. so like… Yeah. to start a literature club, you gotta immerse yourself in poetry and.. well, literature! and not just one type, every type!

26: Oh yeah.. the egg. Monika put it in a file and… the egg kinda…. exploded. yeah. um.

27: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA your not funny. i don’t approve of dad jokes… sorrieeeee……..

28: for me? question my existence all day long.

28.5: No. but i will say this. her code says Natsuki wants to have s- *fades away to the next question because like i dont want to make this as “mature”*

29: Well it might be hard to keep track of which doki is which.

30: No pets. But my code gave me a weird obsession with zebras…

Jasmine: WHEW! what a DOOZIE! i’m tire-

*the other dokis get back*

Jasmine: oh. right. question. uh… How was the concert?

Y: Loud…

S: EPIC!

N: What Sayori said!

M: A nice change of pace.

Jasmine: Well, I’m gonna head home early today.

M: Uh.. Okay. bye!

Golly! There sure has been a lot of exciting lore developments for you four! Or, I guess, “four” developments, since something something you guys are in a place that’s real and calling it lore would be disingenuous, etcetera.

You guys talked to the letter J, for one. You also… uh… well, supposedly some canon mumbo-jumbo about Project Libitina? I don’t fully understand the scope of it, really, or the nitty-gritty.

I do understand the scope of this Mumbo Jumbo, though.

He’s great.

Aaaaanywho. If a Doki doesn’t know what Project Libitina is, Monika can explain it to you no problem!

On a supposedly unrelated note, Monika’s been having too many close calls with a, er, let’s call it secret of hers, and so I’m giving her the avenue to explain it away herself! Independence, and all that.

Anywho, I guess now’s the time for me to actually ask a question. Hm… let’s see…

…ooh! I know! What would be your most ideal romantic excursion? To clarify; the personality of the partner(s?) you’d like to be with, and the contents throughout the “date”. For Natsuki and Yuri, they can, skip the personality-explaining, since, well, unless either of them have some deep sense of longing for something nigh-impossible to receive and are only dating the other to make up even just half of those ideal standards…

…I think it’s safe to say they’ll say each other. Exceedingly safe.

I’m interested to see how each of you four answer this question!! I’m sure there’s some subtext that can be gathered from Monika having a secret that I know about but you don’t and me wanting her to claim independence and the general secrecy the two of us share together, buuuuuut I can’t be bothered to feel embarrassed about the potential conclusions one could draw from it.

I hope this ask makes you all go doki-doki… in the best of ways!

M: Ah… Okay, I wouldn’t tell them. at all. The question, however. A little complicated. I know a lot of people, from either the debate club, or MC (‘MC being Player….’).. My most ideal one, however.. Someone who can show me a path. Trying to keep it simple, but you should probably understand anyway.

S: Uhh, Probably MC! With us being childhood friends and all, I just know him really well.. Ehehe, I guess I have a little crush..

*Natsuki and Yuri do in-fact choose each other. At least they’re loyal! <3*

What question would each of you want to ask the others? Ergo, Monika gives a (single) question for the remaining three members (Sayo and Yuri and Natsy), Sayo then asks Monika and Natsy and Yuri a question, etcetera. I feel like I’m overcomplicating my explanation of this, honestly…

Turning the tables with a short question (relative to my usual questions), but (presumably) long answer! Golly!

Unless, you, don’t know what to ask… but, hopefully, you do!

(i feel like i should make them answer their own questions for content. long answer alert below the cut)