#thefirstmatey

You four may be wondering on my whereabouts… well, let me say— wait… what? You aren’t? You don’t really care nor mind, and are just happy to get another ask?

…well… uh… I’m explaining anyway! Though, Monika will probably only really know what any of this means, on second thought… nevertheless.

Apparently, it’s “frowned upon” to give you guys anything because of “lag” and because a matey of sorts has to “run the extractor” each time I do it, etcetera etcetera.

So, after days of lore-accurate research, I decided to just do everything myself! That’s right, Monkeyman is an independent asker!

Er… again. I kind of already thought I was when I started. But now I am, for realsies!

For those who actually understand what this means, cough cough, you may be wondering how this affects my asks. Well, short and simple… it doesn’t! In the sense that I will continue to make my asks. Their contents will remain, well, as Monkeyman as they usually do!

Maybe they’ll increase in scope, and I’ll give you all a thousand personalized items each!

Or maybe I’ll just gift Yuri a pen, because of fruit so low-hanging you can make jokes that themselves are low-hanging fruit on how low-hanging the fruit is.

But for now… you shall continue with your regularly-scheduled monkeyman2020 antics!

I have added a disco ball to the clubroom. I notice how you guys, uh, never actually really mention much school stuff, even though the literature club itself is stationed at a school, so I decided to give you guys your very own Literature Club Makeshift Prom! Or LCMP, for short. If you wanted to shorten it for some reason…?

You can each dance if you so choose! If you do choose to, I’ve arranged for a list of dancing partners!

Natsuki will dance with Yuri, and vice versa. The reasoning is fairly obvious. (The color of both their eyes starts with the letter P!)

For Sayori, I sent out an RSVP to MC, but, I actually have no idea if he has the capability to respond or not, and I also don’t know if he received it, so I have also provided a Mr. Cow animatronic. It’s perfectly safe. Just don’t hold it too tight or accidentally slide your hand past any of the ridges. Also refrain from putting your head into the animatronic’s jaw, because, something something 87. (The only color not in use would be red… is MC a red kind of guy? I guess that’s the “ask” portion of this “ask DDLC” ask question.)

And finally, for Monika, you get… me! Wahoo!

Not in the most literal sense, to be clear. But, you know, the concept of my funky little cartoon guy in my profile picture is there! It can’t… really speak, but you can, you know, try to dance with it as it awkwardly steps on your feet a few times. I don’t know how to dance, so that part is accurate!

No, for you, my sweet cinna-Mon toast Kernel Program crunch, I’m giving you an avenue to ask me a question! That’s right, another role reversal!

You see, first, we asked you questions. Next, you asked each other questions. Therefore, the logical next step is for you to ask me questions! Or, I guess… ask we questions? Any other people looking at this can answer if so desired. But, primarily me, because, I don’t know I thought it would be cool don’t judge me. (Purple overlaying the letters “hot” in relation to Yuri was also unintentional, so, you can’t judge me for that either!!)

I guess, actually, the logical next step would be for each other to ask us questions… since it would completely fill the whole rock-paper-scissors sort of… line-up there… make everything come full circle, and all that… buuuuuut, everyone else is presumably busy dancing right now, soooo, yeah!

To the other Dokis, anything you don’t understand here is a reference to… uh… SpongeBob, somehow.

Yeah.

I’m sure this ask is exactly the short and brief thing needed to tide this blog over while its admin works on the answer to a different ask! (Thank you in advance, and also, sorry for the titanic ask lol.)

N: Is it cause our eye color, or is it cause you know we’re gay?

Y: N-Natsuki!! Stop saying that so boldly!!

S: IS THAT THE BITE OF 87!?!?!? Oh, and MC is too busy at some… Anime watch party, thing. (‘M: 𝕒𝕜𝕒 𝕞𝕔’𝕤 𝕗𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕕𝕠𝕠𝕜𝕚𝕖’)

*Monika pulls Monkeyman aside for the talk about all the whole… Reality breaking revolution (thats a thing now, and yes, your pfp character guy is in this for now cause uhhhhhh idk)*

M: First of all, thanks for the Spongebob cover. And the LCMP. I’ve been talking to @/TheFirstMatey about this whole extracting and adding thing a little bit, and, well, Ahaha, I suppose you can just read it. It’s in the blog, somewhere…. A question? Ah, well, for you is a bit hard, considering I don’t know you as well as the others. But… What would you do if you were in my place? To clarify, would you tell your friends what you learnt about your reality?..

To YOU, @monkeyman2020 !!!

...

hoo...that took the wind out of me... Ahem.

Objection. There's evidence that hasn't been considered. The fun-kay evidence of the heart! Monika wouldn't knowingly leave Yuri out of a picture, as she's too nice of a person for that. Groovy, amirite?!

Ahem! That means Occam's razor can be applied. "Never attribute to malice what can be explained as a simple mistake" is the paraphrased variant, and it's the one that'll do you in! Booyah, baby.

Consider that argument invalid, my literature club compatriots!

...ahem, uh, what did you think of the song?

(all in good fun, monkeyman, no harm intended. I just wanted in on the fun)

(im just gonna leave this considered as answered, just imagine the girlies watching yall fight or whatever cause idk what to say here)