#monkey shines

He had his little demon do it for him.

Concept art from Godzilla X Kong by Ben Wootten, accessed at Wikizilla here

[Whether Kong "counts" as a kaiju or not has been a longstanding source of debate in the kaiju community, one that seems to have mostly evaporated in the wake of the Legendary movies. And even then, he's a bit of an underdog. What with all the memes about who would win between a living atomic bomb in dinosaur shape vs. big monkey. So I wanted to make Kong's species tough, but not kaiju tough. I am planning on statting up all three named entities in this article for the Patreon over the course of the next ten months. Kong's coming up soonest. Both Kong and Skar King will be advanced versions of this stat block.

Incidentally, if you're wondering why all of the Legendary stuff is just titled "Kong" as opposed to "King Kong", welcome to the wonderful world of international copyrights! The copyright history of Kong is perhaps the most convoluted of all IPs, with some aspects but not all being in the public domain, and the title "King Kong" is not public domain. You can have a giant ape, you can call him Kong, but if you call him King Kong, Universal's lawyers will be on you like fire ants. To the point that for decades, only the American dubs of Toho's Kong movies were available, and even now, Kingu Kongu tai Gojira is only a "bonus feature" on Criterion's King Kong vs. Godzilla disc.

If you want to see the Monsterverse kaiju I've already covered, and have a front row seat to the rest of them, come join the Creature Codex Patreon here!]

Titan Ape CR 20 N Monstrous Humanoid This immense ape is taller than a building, with a stern and craggy face. It stands upright, with arms that hang to its knees.

Mighty simian monsters, the titan apes bridge the gap between mundane life and the world of kaiju. Titan ape proportions are somewhere between those of apes and humans; they are capable of knuckle walking, but are comfortable spending extended periods of time on their hind feet only. Knuckle walking is used in order to navigate complicated environments, as they can switch between climbing, leaping and running at speed. Most titan apes have gorilla-like facial features, but some are more like chimpanzees or orangutans. Their fur colors vary through shades of brown and gray, with red fur being uncommon but not rare. They are omnivores with a taste for meat, but require much less food than their size would suggest, allowing a population of titan apes to survive on small islands without too much trouble.

Titan apes are brutal and versatile combatants. Alone, a titan ape is more than a match for most natural and supernatural predators. In groups, they can and do hunt kaiju. Titan apes are skilled with using their environments as weapons, turning trees, stones and debris into clubs or projectiles. Anything that survives a few solid whacks with a tree is then grabbed and torn apart; a titan ape’s dexterous fingers can twist hard to lacerate skin and break teeth and claws. Most titan apes are destructive but not cruel. After slaying a single foe, they often pause to beat their chests, roar and otherwise try to frighten surviving enemies off rather than press the assault. If their intimidation display fails, however, most titan apes will resume the combat, even fighting to the death.

Titan apes speak a language of grunts, hoots, pants and hand gestures, and can be taught other languages if given time, even if their larynxes do not handle complicated words well. Once, titan apes had a great civilization, building halls and monuments scaled to their immense proportions. Battles with kaiju, humanoids and climate change have taken their toll, and titan apes survive today in small family bands scattered in warm and wild regions of the world both above and below ground. The largest surviving population is united under the cruel Skar King, who commands through fear of both his own brutality and his pet kaiju, the ice dragon Shimo. The most famous of the titan apes is Kong, an orphaned titan who, with his combination of brains and brawn, has demonstrated himself the peer of the great kaiju Godzilla (even if the two of them have more of a begrudging alliance than friendship).

Monkey Shines George A. Romero. 1988

Campus Carnegie Mellon University, 5000 Forbes Ave, Pittsburgh, PA 15213, USA See in map

It's unnatural, you and that monkey.

MONKEY SHINES (1988) dir. George A. Romero