#mondaycheckin

Hey ya’ll.

It’s been a while (over a month to be exact). Sorry for the really inconsistent posting. Everytime I feel like I finally have it together again, something else happens or gets in the way. That’s life, I guess...

Anyway...I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting this past week. This post is going to be another one of me ranting/rambling, so feel free to scroll on (or read on).

I really want to get back into my fitness routine again. I’ve been feeling so sluggish, lately. I know that’s partly because I have not done a lot of physical activity since the last time I posted. The most I move around is when I’m on campus for class, which still counts for something, given how awful I have been feeling, but still...I know can do better. Though, I also know it’s important to not put so much pressure on yourself, but sometimes that’s easier said than done. 

I’m just really tired of always feeling this way...always feeling like I’m not good enough and that all my problems would be solved if I finally just lost the stupid weight already...but I have to remind myself that, even when I was thinner, life was not necessarily made any easier. My self-worth should not be so closely tied to my clothing size...

Last week, I made the decision to start focusing on myself. I deleted some contacts (and blocked some others). I decorated my room, which I’ve been wanting to do for the past year now. I caught up on my school work. I hung out with one of my best friends (we got Thai food and talked for hours). 

I even made a whole “glow up” plan for myself. However, when I say glow up, I don’t mean just my appearance. 

I want to glow up as a person in general. I want to be content with myself and be content with being alone. I want to connect more with myself more. I want to take myself on dates. I want to be more consistent with my spirituality. I want to meditate more and pray more. I want to start and end every day with reciting affirmations. I want to start writing in my journal again. I want to stop comparing myself to other people. I want to learn how to love myself. I want to validate myself without needing other people to do so for me. I want to do things I’ve always been afraid of doing because of posssible judgement (e.g. pierce my nose, get a tattoo (or several), change my hair, etc). I want to feel good about myself. I want to stop feeling like there is something wrong with me everytime a guy I fall for treats me horribly, leads me on, leaves me for someone else, or, simply, changes their mind about me. I want to stop always feeling like everything is my fault and that I don’t deserve to be happy. I want to do all of these things and more. 

I’m going to do all of these things and more.

I have, honestly, lost myself. I can’t really pinpoint the exact moment this started, but, over the past few years, I have really lost myself...

It’s Monday again, and maybe you’re already feeling that familiar pressure—the subtle tug between what you want to do, what you have to do, and what everyone else seems to expect from you. The temptation to just keep saying yes, to open every door, to hold every emotion and task like it’s yours alone to manage.

But here’s the reminder: You are allowed to have boundaries. Even on a Monday. Especially on a Monday.

Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re not cold, rigid barriers meant to shut everyone out. They’re doorframes—thresholds. Invitations, not fortresses. They let you choose who walks through, and when. And more importantly, they let you stay grounded in your own space.

Maybe that means carving out an hour of quiet before the day really begins. Maybe it’s turning off your notifications. Maybe it’s saying, “Not today,” to something that drains you.

That’s not failure. That’s self-care. That’s you protecting your peace and the energy you need to actually care for your home, yourself, obligations and responsibilities, including making a living so you can afford to exist on a day to day basis.

You don’t owe anyone unlimited access to your time, your inbox, or your nervous system. You are a whole human being, not a revolving door.

It’s Monday. That means nothing… and everything.

Start where you are. Even if you're still in pajamas. Even if your to-do list looks like a bowl of tangled spaghetti. Even if you already spilled coffee on your good pen.

You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re a person. And you’re here.

Light one candle today. Send one message. Take one deep breath. Feed yourself something warm. Let that count.

You don’t have to fix everything this week. You don’t have to slay all the dragons. Sometimes the most important thing you’ll do all day is swing your legs out from under the blankets and rest your feet on the floor. Not stand up. Not clean the kitchen. Just place your feet on the ground and breathe.

And that’s enough.

When grief makes the air heavy or depression makes the ceiling too loud just waking up is a kind of bravery.

Sometimes the weekend was trash. Sometimes your body hurts. Sometimes nothing feels right and all you can do is blink at the wall and whisper, “Okay. I’m still here.”

That whisper is a victory.

And no—your tiny steps are not lesser than anyone else’s long strides. Your pace is yours. Your path is yours. Don’t let someone else’s highlight reel make you doubt the value of showing up at all.

There is no behind. There is no failing. There is only this moment—and you, doing your best inside it.

So take your one small thing. Let that be your offering today. One breath. One glass of water. One word written. One dish washed.

Let it be enough. Because it is.

This is your reminder that doing your best does not mean doing everything. You are not a machine. You are not a one-person solution to every global injustice, family emergency, inbox overflow, and existential threat.

And you don’t need to be.

Your best might look different every day. It might be sending an email. Watering the plants. Writing a single sentence. Or just getting out of bed. That counts.

We’re building something slow and true here. Whether it’s a poem, a zine, a garden, or a blog post—it matters.

You matter.

Show up in whatever way you can today. That’s enough.