Question from a friend who supports pwNPD : how do primarily ego-dystonic NPD thoughts affect how the disorder presents? What subtype of NPD do you guys identify with, if you feel you're ego-dystonic?
I would say the large majority of my thoughts present as ego syntonic.. the closest i get is when my moral values clash with my believing i am better than everyone/the majority of people or what i think im entitled to. For how that affects how i present? I am not likely to voice opinions of mine that i think make me look bad morally and i am inclined to lie about my position on things to appear more humble than i actually am. I probably wont get noticeably angry at someone i think is snubbing me or taking something i deserve unless i feel i can prove it to an outside audience.. basically ego dystonic thoughts make me passive aggressive and moody rather than overtly aggressive.. but its less i dont agree with the thoughts and more i worry about my reputation. I will sometimes feel bad but i am pretty good at justifying my own behaviour to myself so it rarely lasts.
I am aware of my own behaviours and how they are perceived by others, how they can and have negatively impacted me but i dont necessarily see an issue with them the way i would with say my ocd traits.. i am aware my Narcissistic traits cause me a variety of issues.. its why i suspect i have a disorder not just healthy confidence after all.. but it still feels like the world is the one that should be fixed in that regard not me. (As for the last question I don't do disorder subtypes in general)
So while i cannot use personal examples I can extrapolate. Ego dystonic thoughts are thoughts a person disagrees with, that does not align with their ideal self image. Ego dystonic thoughts in personality disorders are not terribly common but can happen.. in such a case it would be thoughts and symptoms of the disorder causing that person distress.. such as distress at lack of empathy or feeling shame over interpersonally manipulative behaviours.. it may cause the person to present their disordered traits less overtly as they feel distressed because of them. - Mod Furi
Agree with Furi, with PDs it's usually ego syntonic by nature. But for me, ehhhh I'd also say they're mostly ego syntonic for me. I have some ego dystonic thoughts due to things like depression and other disorders that then clash with my NPD in some ways. For example, I get some really bad self harm urges, but the NPD thoughts tell me that those scars will make me worth less and make people dislike me because of them because I won't be as attractive anymore (I know these thoughts are irrational and they don't reflect my views on anyone else with scars, it just goes for me).
But with NPD itself, like my morals and opinions are typically really loose. I'm not distressed by my lack of empathy or anything. So it's hard for me to have thoughts that don't align with my self image or ideals outside of general self hatred for appearance/dysphoria and urges caused by other things. NPD makes me feel like I'm always right, that I need to be the best, that I'm important and worth people's time. Overall, NPD itself is very ego syntonic for me.
As for how it presents, well. Usually people don't actually know with me, I'm able to mask and function well. I'm able to blend in with people, have a lot of friends, etc. like by all means I'm well liked and have a good reputation.
I fall in line with covert NPD iirc and I don't really know the subtypes, but I guess I'd also fall under Communal and Exhibitionist subtypes? But I do fluctuate a lot, sometimes I can lean more into malignant and/or overt during more intense periods of my life, but those aren't all that consistent compared to the others. I don't focus too hard on subtypes. -Mod Atlas 𓆏
Sorry this ask took so long, since it was an ask for both of us and we both have busy lives it took a bit.
