#modernreader

Last night was rough. Getting to know two elves that have been known to keep their feelings under lock and key isn’t easy. It’s heart warming to know that you got the privilege to see their vulnerable sides, but exhaustion is the price you pay for it.

Celegorm has been in and out of your room 50 times in the past 2 hours and hasn’t been able to wake you. He’s been complaining and genuinely been a nuisance to the whole house since he first woke this morning. You have been blissfully oblivious to it. By now the majority of the elves have managed to make breakfast on their own.

Celegorm’s more than usual annoying behavior stems from boredom. Celegorm used to spend days and weeks away on hunts alongside Oromë. Exploring new places and learning about the flora and fauna in the world. Now that he’s here, he doesn’t have this privilege. He’s managed to pick apart your grandfather’s garden from head to toe, and he isn’t satisfied with the restraints set on everyone regarding leaving the house. The restraint was necessary due to the dinnerplate sized eyes and stares from the villagers last time you attempted to take anyone out of the house.

Most of the Fëanorians have made themselves at home in your grandfather’s house. They’ve found things to do to entertain themselves. For now at least. Unfortunately it wasn’t the case for Celegorm and Ambarussa. This trio is outdoorsy and prefers nature over modern confinement. As such, there have been a few cases of disaster.

One of these minor disasters was when the trio decided to hunt down a decent sized bird and release it INSIDE the house. The shaken bird was quickly and a little reluctantly released by them soon after.

Celegorm and Ambarussa were having a blast adding random forest creatures to the house without warning. Last week the Ambarussa managed to find turtles that were afterwards kept somewhere in the house. They were only discovered after a raging Caranthir started fuming in the living room about how some of his work had been fully soaked and slimy. Many colorful words were spoken that day, they are best not repeated.

It’s become painfully obvious that Celegorm isn’t happy with the sedentary lifestyle he has right now. He needs some form of energy expenditure or it’ll only get worse. Amras has been looking a little bleak as well. He’s been spending the majority of his time during the day out in the garden. Chipping away at some wooden sticks or going over the same row of plants, checking if anything needs to be done. Amrod has been non verbal for the past 3 days, and hasn’t been leaving his room much aside from the occasional food trip.

By the time you woke up it was already 16:05 pm. Quite late in the day. The elves had already eaten lunch too. They have kept a portion of both breakfast and lunch aside for you, as you might be quite hungry once you wake up. Maglor and Maedhros have come to check on you a few times, they’re not used to people sleeping so long.

You felt groggy and a little flushed, it was still hot out and it didn’t seem to have any plans to subside. You got up out of bed and sluggishly dragged yourself downstairs. As soon as you stepped through the living room door you were bombarded with noise. It sounded like a horde of elephants on the run from a predator. Luckily there were no elephants involved , only an elf, guess who.

You turned your head in the direction of the commotion and saw an increasingly frustrated Celegorm who was currently losing his mind against Curufin. They seemed to be in a heated argument about something.

“I don’t give a damn Tyelko! We’re in this house as guests and y/n laid out rules that we mustn’t go out without them or else we might be in danger! Haven’t these rules been clear to you?” Curufin yelled.

“Yeah I heard you but I will not sit here any longer than I already have! I am sick and tired of sitting on my ass all day everyday unable to even go beyond the perimeters of the house ONCE. I want OUT of here! I can’t live like this, I am suffocating in this sedentary snob lifestyle of yours!” Celegorm yelled back. He nearly screamed his throat to shreds with the power he’d laid in his statements.

His face contorted into an ugly snarl. He was serious about getting out of this house, even if it meant he got caught by these “authorities” you had spoken of earlier. He’d risk getting caught by hobo’s for five minutes of freedom in the fresh air.

You were completely stunned by what you heard. His outburst had also effectively woken you up further. You didn’t know that Celegorm was so deeply affected by the restrictions you put down. You knew of his hobbies but weren’t sure how to help him yet. You did remember that there was an archery club in the city, but that was far away and would require legal documents to be signed. Documents that he obviously didn’t have.

Suddenly the room fell silent. Curufin had noticed you and turned his attention towards you in greeting. Celegorm followed his brother’s gaze and noticed you as well. A minor wave of shock crossed his face before it returned to the scowl he had previously. You had heard, so now you knew. What would you do about it?

You stared ahead of you blankly, stuck in a whirlpool of thoughts on how you could possibly avoid disaster. Then it hit you. This village still functions partially as it would have a few centuries ago. There were wood workers, smiths and other guilds still active. Many of them having received the craft through their parents or grandparents. This meant that you could have bows and arrows made for Celegorm as well as the Ambarussa! The forest you go to occasionally is also fairly safe territory. You felt sheepish for not thinking of this sooner.

“Celegorm, Ambarussa, I’d  like to talk to you about something.” You said.  “I understand now that you have been feeling unwell in these circumstances and need time outside more than any of us. I know of a woodworker who may be able to help out. I can commission him to make some bows and arrows for you so you can practice archery in the nearby forest if you’d like.” You explained to them.

All three of them looked up to you in surprise. They hadn’t expected you to come in with this idea to resolve the issue. It wad fairly practical too.  “And how would you have this woodworker make us bows if they don’t know our height and skills? It is crucial to be aware of this if you are to make a bow fit an individual perfectly.” Amras explained.

He has a point…. You thought. “If you guys are willing to cooperate with me on this, then we might be able to handle that.…We’ll have to come up with a way to cover your ears. Oh and you can’t mention anything from your world otherwise we’ll have a problem…” You were thinking out loud by now, but it didn’t matter much since it got the point across to the trio.

“When will we be able to do this y/n?” After 3 days of being non verbal, this was the first thing out of Amrod’s mouth. He looked hopeful at the prospect of being able to do something in the woods.

“Tomorrow morning. I’ll go out personally to ask him about commissions and if he agrees we’ll go there together for measurements and other things. Is that okay..?” You asked. 

The trio agreed, some finally having a smile on their faces again. It made you feel warm, seeing the Ambarussa and Celegorm look happier and relieved even.  You were now thinking about how you could catch Alexander tomorrow morning. He’s very skilled in his craft and loves taking on new challenges. This might be one of those things he’d like to do. You could also ask Mishka, but she was a bit more nosy and over the top mother-henny with you. So it might be harder to get her to agree straight away. She was also a fair bit older than Alexander, having nearly 46 years of experience compared to Alexander’s 25 years. Both stared their craft young and are capable of amazing works.

Celegorm seemed to have gone back to his usual annoying self. Amras was hyper and bouncing around the room in excitement. Amrod only smiled and talked about wanting to explore the woods first to find a clearing. The rest of the Fëanorians looked relieved to no longer have to deal with their brothers’ outbursts and nagging.

Night fell and everyone went to bed. All of you were exhausted by the events of the day and hoped for a brighter tomorrow. Even the trio went to bed without problems. Probably because they wanted tomorrow to come sooner, it did mean that they would be one day closer to getting their gear. Soon the house was as silent as the dead. You could hear a needle drop if it did.

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Of course peace and quiet never lasts long with the company you’re in. Soon enough it was morning to a particular group of elves and if it was up to them, you would be acknowledging this hour as morning too. It was 4:45 am and your peaceful sleep would soon be compromised.

As the clock struck 5 your door flew open and slammed into the bookshelves behind it. Celegorm waltzed his way into your room in a way that would be considered quiet for him. As stealthy as he is, he obviously doesn’t give a damn once he’s excited about something. He stood before you and awaited a response. The response never came because you were hellbent on ignoring his trespasses.

Celegorm noticed that you woke up, but decided to let you believe that he didn’t. He sat down on the edge of your bed, as close to you as possible. He grinned knowing that he would get an earful after what he was about to do. But maybe it would be worth it if your face looked funny enough.

He leaned further inward, nearly draping himself over your shoulder, close to your ear. He allowed his weight to press you further into your mattress, since you so desperately wanted to stay there, you could. He had tied up his silvery hair into a ponytail earlier, but it was still long enough to drape across your face. He smelled like cedar wood and petrichor. To any nature lover it would be intoxicating.

“You look so lovely when you are sleeping little songbird. Perhaps I should come watch you sleep more often. “ he whispered. Despite the fairly sweet words he was saying, his facial expression was that of a prankster trying to rile up his poor unassuming victim. And with his incoming royally intricate descriptions it was starting to work on you too. You were painfully aware of the crimson blush spreading across your cheeks.

You were able to keep yourself together so and so until he actually made contact with your cheek. That’s when it started to become too much.  You shot up out of bed and effectively knocked Celegorm onto the hardwood floor. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” You shrieked.

“Ohh so you were awake this whole time? My my, did you enjoy my affectionate display so much to pretend to be asleep?” Celegorm had the biggest shit eating grin on his face. He was quite full of himself for someone who got thrown on the floor.

Not a moment later Amras materialized in the doorway. Asking when we’d leave for the village centre. It took him a moment to take in the scene in front of him before he burst out laughing. Celegorm was on the floor and you were clutching your blanket close to your body for dear life. You looked frustrated and were red in the face. “Get out! Both of you!” you whisper yelled, remembering the rest of the elves might still be asleep.

Luckily they obeyed your wish without complaint and left to wait for you downstairs. It was 5:50 am now so it was likely that Alexander was awake. It would take 30 minutes to walk to the village so you’d be right on time and one of the first people at the door. In this case that meant you could take it somewhat easy. Somewhat only due to three very impatient elves waiting for departure.

You got out of bed and got dressed. It was already heating up quickly outside so you threw on some light layers to avoid heatstroke. You went downstairs and were immediately greeted by the three elves. “Let’s go already! I want to be able to explore the woods after we go to the village.” Said Amras.

“You don’t want any breakfast?” you asked. The group shook their heads in a collective no. You sighed and walked out with them. You kept a small distance away from Celegorm. After the joke he pulled on you this morning you felt the need to stay clear of his funky self. You did have to admit that he had a nice scent, or maybe it was cologne. It was pleasant either way. Unlike what some people imagine him to smell like; mud and wet dog…..

You arrived at Alexander’s work station, you were right about being one of the very first to be there. There was only one other person aside from your group. And it seemed that they had already received what they wanted. 

“Hey y/n! Long time no see! What brings you here?” Alex asked. “I’d like to commission a few bows and arrows for my friends if that’s possible. I’ve brought them along with me in case you need any information from them.” You said.

Alexander agreed to make the bows and arrows. He thought it would be a nice challenge and a good opportunity to bother his smith neighbour who’s been grumpy as of late. He’s going to need someone for arrow points after all.  Measurements had been taken and information exchanged. You got lucky that Alex gave you a discount because fashioning bows isn’t easy work. It would still cost a bit, but you knew you’d get impressive quality in return.

Satisfied with business the four of you went home. Some of the other elves had woken up as well and wondered where you had gone off to.

It was another beautiful morning, another morning meaning another heap of muffled yelling from downstairs. You groaned and rubbed your eyes to clear away the last bits of peaceful sleep.

At this point you were starting to give up on the idea of ever getting to sleep in for a day. It simply was not possible with the Fëanorians around. Much less, specifically, with Celegorm. Who coincidentally is also the reason for your rude awakening.

“Hey y/n! Wake up. It’s morn already, we’re hungry.” He quite literally yelled at you. Unfortunately he had abandoned his prior position at the door in favor of standing by your bed. This meant you now had a god awful ringing in your right ear for the past 5 minutes. You glared at him and told him to get out, which he did.

You slowly got up from your bed, getting dressed was not your priority right now. You were overheating from both the summer weather and the idiot that had woken you. So you decided to change later, right now you needed something cold.

Slipping on some light shoes you walked down the hallway to the living room. It made you happy to see they had learned from the previous days not to do any cookery in the fire place, and to patiently wait for you to wake up. Patiently is subjective here. It seems it always is with these guys around.

Beauty is subjective as well. Perhaps it’s the most subjective thing out there. There are beauty standards, but many don’t adhere to them. It’s simply not natural. If only people could see one another through the lens of love and compassion, maybe there would have been fewer hurts. You thought sadly. You arrived in the hallway and was greeted as usual. Happy smiles and welcoming gestures.

Breakfast was tasty and light. It seemed that everyone shared your thought of needing something cold. So breakfast consisted of many fruits and cold drinks. Somehow Caranthir still managed to drink his many cups of coffee for breakfast. How he was keeping himself cool and fresh was a mystery to you.

After breakfast everyone went about their day in varying scales of loudness. You decided to sit out on the sofa for a little bit. Not wanting to go out in the heat just yet. You started to doze off a little. However as soon as you got comfortable the doorbell scared you out of your wits.

You weren’t expecting anyone, right…? Your thoughts were a jumbled mess and you attempted to untangle them on your way to the door. You opened the door and before you stood a delivery guy. With two big boxes signed by a few clothing companies.

Then it clicked. You ordered clothes for the 7 elves in your household. You quickly took the packages and signed the delivery paper. Wishing the delivery guy a good day as you closed the door.

Walking back to the living room you practically yelled for everyone to come to the living room to try out their new clothes. Soon everyone was seated and visibly excited, if not a little anxious to try out their new items.

The Ambarussa’s outfits were a great success. They looked great in the varying shades of green and brown they chose for their first outfit change. Celegorm had something that looked ridiculously similar to an elvish archer outfit. Though perhaps a little more casual. Nonetheless it looked great.

Maglor immediately threw himself on the biggest, puffiest minstrel sleeved shirt he had bought. It was a pure white and had a lovely embroidered neckline. He was head over heels with it and spent the rest of the day in it.

Curufin pulled out some exceedingly fancy items from his package. He still looked ridiculously regal in the fine fabrics, but compared to his elvish robe you could get away with calling his new outfit “Casual”.  His current favorite was a deep maroon shirt with a snug fit around the body. It had some golden detailing on it to make the soft fabric stand out. He had let you touch it prior to wearing, since he did agree that it was very good quality.

Caranthir was pretty straight forward with his clothing as well. A textured black jacket with silver thread embroidery seemed to be his current favorite. He seemed to enjoy the deeper shades on the color spectrum. He wore a highly pigmented, deep Bordeaux red top under his jacket.

Maedhros was quite excited about his items, until he tried on a particular top. It was a gorgeous peacock green with long sleeves, but the neckline had been a deeper cut than what he anticipated. Exposing many of his scars as a result. His face fell and he instinctively reached to cover the exposed skin with his left hand.

It was obvious that he was uncomfortable, so you quickly gave him a different shirt with a higher neckline for him to change in to.  He thanked you and changed into it quickly.

Though his shirt now changed and didn’t expose as much scars, his face remained sullen.

For the most part of the day, everyone seemed to enjoy their items, both the clothing and the decor. Maedhros however wasn’t so chipper anymore. Caranthir seemed to notice this as well.

Something you had noticed about both Maedhros and Caranthir was that their clothing interests , modesty wise, were extremely similar.  Both preferred clothes with high necklines, long sleeves and hemlines that also draped down as low as possible. Their clothes seemed to cover almost every bit of skin they had. Modesty is never a bad thing of course, and you knew that. Though something inside you remained warry of Maedhros’ and Caranthir’s reactions to some clothing styles.

Take for example the lovely phthalo blue shirt you pointed out to Caranthir when you were online shopping, it would surely look good on him. He had glanced over the item no more than even half a second before paling and brushing you off. “Absolutely not, do you wish for me to look like a beaten corpse?” he sounded somewhat hostile and avoided eye contact with you for a good 5 minutes after.

Maedhros made it quite clear at the beginning of the shopping spree that he would take his time looking for proper clothing. He wanted modest lines. As such he also paled visibly each time one of his brothers suggested him clothes with daring lines. He however wasn’t responding to them in a hostile way, he wasn’t responding at all.

Every time something specifically different to their tasted passed by, their reactions would seem as if they had been nailed to the ground in fear, like a startled deer caught in the glaring headlights of a passing car. Unsure how to act.

Maedhros had been hiding away in his room for the remainder of the day. Each time you came to visit he somehow scrunched deeper away into himself at his desk. Assuring you that all was fine with a smile that looked just a tiny bit forced.   He had refused to come to dinner this evening, you were starting to worry about him.

It was 01:48 am when you finally decided to come ask him what happened. The majority of the Fëanorians had retired to their rooms, so that gave you some guarantee that there would be little interruption.

You walked upstairs quietly. Cicada’s and birds were singing their songs loudly out in the garden, contrasting heavily with the silence in the house. Their song always seemed so much louder at night.

You gently knocked on the door, hoping not to wake Maglor in case he was sleeping. A barely audible “come in” came from behind the door, and you stepped inside. Maglor was indeed already asleep, his back turned towards you. Maedhros was still awake and sitting at the desk with a lone candle lighting up the space.

He turned away from the desk slightly, but not enough to show his face to you. “Is everything alright y/n ? Why are you not asleep?” he asked in a hushed tone. You walked a bit closer to him so you wouldn’t have to speak so loud. “I’m fine, but we missed you during dinner as well as during the rest of the day. Is anything bothering you Maedhros?” you whispered. His body tensed for a moment when you said that. He let out a sigh. “No, I am fine, it is nothing you need to worry about.”

You stood there for a moment, quietly pondering what to do or say next.  You remembered that somewhere in the Silmarillion it was described that Maedhros had an extremely low self esteem regarding his appearance post Angband.

You glanced over his hunched form. Taking in the many scars upon his skin. Lingering on his missing hand for a few seconds. You knew very well what horrors he’d been through. You felt a wave of sadness rush over you. It pained you that he had suffered so much, and to see that even now, far from the horrors of Angband he was still suffering.  You wanted to help him somehow, perhaps offer him some words to console him. Unfortunately words were failing you at this moment.  So all you could do was stand there by his side, pondering and mulling over things quietly.

You were startled from your meditative haze by a short knock on the door. The door opened to reveal a cranky looking Caranthir. He looked dishevelled and had darker than normal circles under his eyes. He stepped further into the room, eyeing both you and Maedhros with questioning eyes. “What is going on here? Are you two done having your tea party yet?” he hissed.

Maedhros sighed and turned towards his brother. “Y/n only came to ask if everything was okay. No tea parties here dear brother.” He said.  You stepped to the side so you could face both Fëanorians at the same time.  You thought it over and decided it might be good to get information from both of them over tea. Perhaps Caranthir’s tea party joke wasn’t too far off.

In a soft voice you asked them to come downstairs for some herbal tea. Chamomile, lavender, Valerian, you had all three. Something for each person’s needs.

As such it turned out that all three of you were now sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea. Maedhros got the strongest herb; Valerian. Most commonly used for destressing an individual to the point of near knockout. This of course depends on the dosage. You used loose leaf teas, so you made sure to be careful.  Caranthir had chamomile and you drank lavender. Caranthir had complained before that he felt stressed and couldn’t sleep well. Chamomile helps with relaxation, unfortunately Caranthir didn’t fancy the flavor much. You had gotten a streak of insomnia from the sudden changes in your life, this combined with poor digestive health led to you now drinking lavender tea.

You stayed still for a while, observing the scene. Both Caranthir and Maedhros were starting to visibly relax and unwind from your herbal tea. The night air was starting to chill a little.  The silence between the three of you was comfortable.

Maedhros set down his cup on the table, he sighed and reeled back into the chair. He rubbed his face with his hand, contemplating what to say or do.  He broke the silence not too long after that.  

“I felt exposed this afternoon. Too much for my comfort.”

This startled both you and Caranthir. Caranthir knew from the many years he’d spent with his brother that speaking of his appearance was challenging to say the least. Maedhros always covered his scars as much as possible, especially post Angband. After his torture in the hands of Morgoth, he became cold and discarded a lot of things he used to care about appearance wise.  He had cut his hair as short as that of the human men, and refused to wear the clothes he once wore. They drew too much attention to his “unsightly parts” as he would say. Even his copper circlet, made by his father, had been banished to the back of one of his drawers to collect dust and grime.

Losing his right hand on top of the scarring, was almost the last drop for the bucket to overflow. Through his time in Mandos he has recovered slightly, but far from enough.

“I understand how you feel somewhat. Though my worries are perhaps not as great as yours, I still feel insecure about my appearance as well.” Caranthir suddenly said.

Caranthir has always been made fun of due to his red facedness. His birthmarks span not only over his face but on his neck and arms too. Elvish beauty standards are not always inclusive. Especially in the elder days when there simply were no other known races yet. There was no appreciation for differences back then. It sounds rather black and white, perhaps it is, maybe not. Unfortunately in the times when he was younger he simply didn’t have anyone else who looked the same. So the constant taunting and poking only further fuelled his doubts and insecurities. At some point he truly felt like his birthmarks were a curse.

You felt grieved to hear their stories. From the book you can only get so much, yet now you got to see them face to face. It’s so incredibly different. Nowadays we also have many beauty standards. Mostly they are Eurocentric. Luckily lately this has started to change, even if only a little. A little often goes a long way. Acceptance is slowly becoming the new normal.

You looked at the two elves, taking in their appearance.

Maedhros’ hair has become much longer again, with beautiful red waves and curls. He had freckles all over his skin. Scattered around in clusters of golden stars and milky ways. His scars were deep and colored in silver like lightning. A lone dimple could be spotted on his right side when he smiled in a certain way. He somehow looked incredibly beautiful yet intimidating. Despite his scars. His blue eyes seemed warm, not cold as described in the book. Though maybe it’s the sleepiness catching up to him.

Caranthir’s hair was a dark brown, nearly black. It was smooth as silk in appearance with a slight bend at the ends. His eyes were just as piercing as his brother’s, though his are silver, not blue. On his skin what people call unsightly birthmarks, to you looked like hundreds of lively red carnations. Blooming freely and undisturbed across his skin. It was a stark contrast on his pale skin. A strong contrast that was inviting.  He looked beautiful to you as well.

It made you wonder just how beautiful Lúthien must’ve been, if she was considered even more beautiful than all others. And what of the Valar & Maiar? It made your head spin just trying to think about it.

Now though it was your turn to feel embarrassed. You had been in a trance describing their features. Unknowingly you had spoken all of it aloud. Both elves were too stunned to speak. They could only stare at you in disbelief.

You felt your blood boil in embarrassment. The lavender tea seemingly did it’s work a little too well. You wanted to sink through the ground right now. Unfortunately that wasn’t an option, the only option you had was to sit still and listen to their newly formed thoughts.  

“Thank you….I guess. But I’m quite certain my red face does not remind anyone other than you of carnation flowers.” Caranthir huffed. His face was even redder than normal, it even reached his ears. He got up and walked off “To bed.” He had muttered. He looked back at you and Maedhros, still sitting at the table. Caranthir huffed again like a child and stormed off as quiet as he could.

“That was very kind of you to speak so highly of our appearances. I am not certain if I myself could see it the way you do any time soon. But I will try to keep your opinion in mind more often. It surely does sound far more gentle than my own thoughts.” Maedhros said quietly.

“Have a good night y/n. We’ll speak more tomorrow.”

He stood up and walked away to his shared room. Undoubtedly later questioned by Maglor.