#mlaccountability

For as long as I can remember I’ve been a goal oriented person. However it wasn’t until last year when I was working with my life coach that I got into the habit of writing and reflecting on them. We had weekly and daily goal exercises, I’ve maintained the weekly goal setting and reflection practice. The great thing about writing and record your goals is that you can go back to read them! So here’s a look at my very first weekly goal writing session on July 1, 2018, prompts in bold and my reflection a year later in italics. 

Make a list of 10-15 goals you would like to achieve THIS WEEK. Make them positive, present tense, and specific. Remember these are goals for the week, not months from now. So think of these as the smallest action steps that will drive you FORWARD the quickest. This is about setting yourself up for a win. 1. Log my overtime work hours to prepare to present to my boss at the end of peak season - DID, having comp time in the fall helped me make myself, my goals, Measuring Life a priority 2. Add google analytics to my website - DID 3. Categorize tumblr blog posts - DID 4. Work out at least 4 times - Likely Did, still track workouts 5. Share my blog/instagram with 2 more people I know in real life - DID, still continue to share 6. Check in with my graphic designer friend regarding my new logo/visual brand - DID, launched the logo on NYE 7. Pick up new chromebook - DID, having a computer that isn’t my “work” computer has also helped give me separation 8. Buy and set paper planner and set up a google calendar for my personal life/side hustle - DID, this was a game changer more on that below 9. Buy a bulletin board, note books, office supplies for home office - DID, however only used the home office for a few months since we started using the guest room for AirBNB in October 10. Post 1 video of me on Measuring Life accounts - Did it in August, I post video on occasion, but despite my broadcast journalism degree I prefer writing when it comes to being vulnerable 11. Listen to at least 2 of Dan's podcast episodes - DID, still keeping current on his podcasts and other social media channels for continued inspiration and motivation 12. Rewatch the portion of last week's bonus call where I had my talk time with Dan - DID, watching myself dig and be vulnerable on a video call was odd, but also beautiful. I’ve re-watched a few recording video calls where I’ve gotten emotional and I learned to give myself some grace and understand that change happens when you stop doing the things you’ve always done - in my case being extremely guarded and private 13. Journal at least 3 times this week - Likely Did, I try and write in my paper journal weekly, but such is life sometimes it more often or less often, but there hasn’t been too much of a lapse between writing since I got back to my journaling practice

Which is the one goal that will help all of the others happen? Buy and set paper planner and set up a google calendar for my personal life/side hustle.

For too long I relied on my work outlook calendar to keep all my things, but I really need to separate work from home. As a long time paper journal person, I’ve come to find my paper planner as another type of journal, especially after I made the switch to a passion planner in January 2019. I still can’t get into google calendar, but I use google docs to track all my side hustles (pet sitting, AirBNB, fitness instructor) including dates and income generation to keep everything in order, but also to keep a catalog/record. 

What has to happen for these goals to be done? I need to make the time to get to the stores to pick up/purchase items. I need to make the time to set up a calendar as well as have focused time in my office to do so. 

Making time was the key, which really means making me a priority. I tend to make everything else a priority, work, other people, social media, television, etc. I still have to actively choose my goals and dreams when it comes to my time. My people pleasing/fixer tendencies will always be there, but for me the awareness is key.

Why are these goals so important to you? I want a public medium to share my story of trauma, failures, successes and connect with others with similar stories. I felt so much shame and isolation over the years for just being me and I'm learning how to break through that and I think the sooner people can push through the shame and isolation the better for them and for all. 

This is still true, I came into this my coaching program at a crossroads and a place of self-loathing. I’ve learned to love myself including all my flaws and defects of character (a line from my 12 step program). I still want to share what I’ve overcome, but now I’m more focused on the present and the future. Living in the present isn’t always something I’m very good at, but I’m trying to live less and less in the past. 

What would you gain by achieving these goals? I would be vulnerable, but living authentically and building connections with people - both the people I know, think I know, or have yet to know. 

This has been one of the highlights of the past year, developing deeper relationships with people and meeting new people who I have connected with on a deep level. I’ve also started to let go of the relationships that are no longer serving me.

What risks will you have to take by achieving these goals? Being vulnerable and open to judgment. Reducing my day job hours/stress levels. 

I did these things and no one died! If people are judging me that’s fine, but it hasn’t been something I’ve seen or heard and honestly at this point if I did read or hear something negative I know I’d be okay because I have enough people lifting me up. When it comes to work, the work never ends. It’s about priorities and focus. I know I’ve set more attainable work goals as opposed to pushing myself harder than what is expected which has been a previous pattern. I take my lunch hour, I leave at 5 unless there is a meeting or program that requires me to stay. I’ve taken my sick and vacation days on top of comp time. 

What will get in the way of these goals? Procrastination or trying to do too much too soon and therefore getting overwhelmed. Not managing my time or wasting time.

THIS, this still gets in my way. I am way more aware, but I still love the rush that comes with procrastination or being too ambitious. 

Why haven't you achieved these goals already? What stopped you before? Time - I tend to run full speed ahead doing 10,000 things at once and burning the candle at both ends or I'm laaaaaaaaaaazy and have the motivation to do anything. 

This is tied to the last one, I am still very much an all or nothing kind of person. My planner helps me see this a bit more, so I actually try to schedule in “nothing” time. Ultimately I aim for more balance and alignment in a week, but more likely than not in any given month I have 3 crazy busy weeks and then a really chill low key week. I’ve learned not to feel guilty for “lazy bones” weekends as I’ve called them.  

What will you do differently now? Since last September I began managing my time better: actually taking my 1 hour lunch break to workout/walk/meet someone for lunch, setting a Fitbit alarm at 4:40pm each work day so I could wind down for the day and actually leave the office at 5pm. I packed my gym clothes the night before and changed before leaving work so I could go right from the office to the gym. I really found my stride in doing this from January 2018-mid June 2018. Currently in my intense peak work season, but want to quickly get back on track as soon as mid-July gets here. 

Yes, all of these things I’ve kept up with these good habits and thankfully after my peak summer season last year I was able to get back on track. I’m looking forward to getting back on track after this summer’s peak season. 

Is there anything I can do now to make achieving these goals easier?  The biggest thing in my control is sleeping. I can't function off 5 hours of actual sleep and since I currently need to be up at 5:30am most days I need to make sure I'm in bed by 10pm. I also need to continue to journal/blog to stay accountable. 

Sleep hygiene has been such a priority for me this year. Starting in September I began charging my phone away from my bed. I first started charging it in another room - where I could still hear the alarm, but as I got better about not “needing” the phone next to the bed I now charge it across the bedroom, but still not next to the bed. I also keep it face down so I don’t see the screen light up from the bed. I strive for 8 hours of sleep each night, however, in January I stopped wearing my Fitbit to track my sleep because I found the data to no longer be helpful. I often would wake up feeling refreshed, but if the fitbit data didn’t back it up then I’d mentally feel less refreshed. As mentioned personal accountability also is really important for my goal setting and self-care. Writing my weekly goals and reflecting on them each week, managing my time with a paper planner, weigh-ins/measurements, budgeting and finances, etc all of this has made a huge difference and my momentum is only growing. 

*Didn’t get around to writing yesterday so here you go!

I am someone who is pro-new year’s resolutions, but I know not everyone is. I also love changes of season, new academic semesters, a new week, and birthdays for chances to reset. However, one of my very favorite times to implement a change is during Lent. For those of you not familiar Lent according to Wikipedia is “a solemn religious observance in the Christian liturgical calendar that begins on Ash Wednesday and ends approximately six weeks later, before Easter Sunday. The purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer for Easter through prayer, doing penance, repentance of sins, almsgiving, and self-denial.”

Growing up Catholic during Lent people were encouraged to “give up” something as a sacrifice. I’m sure I gave up plenty of things, but I specifically remember giving up french fries one year as a kid. Despite moving away from the Catholic religion, I still think using the 40 days of Lent as a way to change habits is a cool concept - especially since it always happens as Spring is approaching. One year a few years into working full-time  I did give up “snoozing” my alarm clock and boy that was tough.  In recent years I used Lent as a time to add things to my life like holding a plank for X minutes each night, doing push-ups, or in the case of last year getting back to journaling. So perhaps your new year’s resolution stalled out or you didn’t set any, so here’s your chance, Lent starts tomorrow March 6, 2019.

Let’s think about what we can gain. What can you add to your life to make it more satisfying? What new practices would make you happier and feel better? Below is a non-weight loss related list someone shared around the new year and it’s perfectly applicable now. The items in italics are things I have implemented over the years and have come to value. The bold items are some goals for Lent. I want to be more sustainable particularly when it comes to plastic use.

Get more quality sleep

Eat vegetables at every meal

Wash your bed sheets regularly

Meditate

Spend more time outside

Actually eat your fruit before it goes bad

Get back in touch with old friends

Bring your own bags when grocery shopping

Don’t watch tv or use the computer during meals

Support local farms and food producers

Take vitamins

Learn to knit or sew

Stretch and improve your flexibility

Volunteer to register voters

Concentrate on improving your posture

Make doctor and dentist appointments regularly

Cook and prepare lunch instead of relying on processed foods

Replace your toothbrush

Clean your kitchen and dishes after each meal

Stop biting your nails

Compliment someone every day

Regularly donate unworn and ill-fitting clothing to a local shelter

Wear sunscreen every day you’re outside

Clean your pantry and throw out expired food each month

Quit smoking

Explore local museums and parks

Put your laundry away

Get an eye exam and update your prescription

Cut down on the amount of plastic you use each day

Re-try foods that you hate, but haven’t eaten in years

Delete a social media account

Moisturize and remove your makeup before going to bed

Attend town hall meetings

Keep a journal

Floss