can anyone explain why he constantly browbeat me with fears about financial instability and the expenses of “the real world” and how i need to be practical and do hard work I don’t like until I earn the right to promoted status or opportunities for positions I do really want

but now at 26 after i got two expensive degrees after a culmination of jumping around to three vastly different colleges and now I’m in a job that I have no huge passion for or confidence in but I still got anyway so I could escape his abusive nature and live “in the real world”– oh, now he’s telling me to take risks and how I’ve squandered the opportunity for him to “be my patron as I build a freelance career.” why don’t I know that he won’t let me starve? why don’t I know that he believes in me and thinks my hobbies should become my career path? and he’s lamenting to me, “I just don’t understand why you’re not pursuing what you’ve always been best at and most passionate about: your art skills and your stories and sharing your opinions in meaningful ways that others connect with. why aren’t you finding screenwriters or publishers/editors to work under. why aren’t you walking into storyboarding companies and showing them your art. why aren’t you doing those things?”

huh.

and that is truly terrifying to watch.

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