#misofonia

I wish I was deaf.

I saw a new in news paper (online) today about 40 years old woman who can’t stand the sounds of her husband or other adults eating (kids eating sounds don’t bother her) so I got interested since I have the same. And I found out this is some sort of neurology thing, called Misophonia / Selective Sounds Sensitivity Syndrome (SSSS / 4S). It also can be called as “Hatred of Sound”. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia https://fi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misofonia Tho in my case I can’t stand these sounds without getting pissed / angry / furious / wanting to kill the source of the sound etc. - Eating sounds even if eaten mouth closed. That’s why I prefer to listen music while someone around me is eating or I eat at the same time with them to cover the sound. This started when I was a teen and heard dad eating even that he was eating mouth closed with good manners. Since then I haven’t been able to stand sounds of others eating around me. In restaurant this doesn’t bother me at all tho since there’s always nice and quiet / low chatting sounds from other eaters. - Whistling. Playing music loud (like in a car what young men seems to love to do). Car’s / moped’s super loud roll sound. Ambulance’s / Firetruck’s “whistling”. Slush talking. Baby’s cry / scream. Loud sounds from teens (for example at mall). TV being too loud (I normally keep TV’s volume at 1 since the voice is loud enough for me. At times I put it on 3 tho - especially now that there’s ice-hockey games going). Loud sounds do hurt my ears - a lot.

The worst about misophonia is that you know that the people who are making triggering sounds aren't doing anything wrong. You know that it's insane to get angry with someone because they are just breathing. You know that is not logical to argue with someone who are just eating an apple. You know that the problem is on you. But anyway you can't stop the feeling. You can't stifle the hate that is growing on your chest, you can't put out the anger that is burning you alive. You. Just. Can't. Stop. And it makes you feel so stupid, so weak, and so insupportable... this may be the one of the worst feeling at all.