#mioka

Hux tried to look around the room- scanning simultaneously for the only person he actually knew here and the closest available exit- but the wall of muscle seemed to close in around him.

He did not like this party one bit.

“So, are you, like, a bottom?” Asked a guy with a neck as wide as his ribcage who was probably called Chad.

“I beg your pardon!?” Oh god, he sounded like his stepmother.

Seriously, though, who the fuck asked complete strangers questions like that? Okay maybe guys like this did, it wasn’t as if Hux had ever gone out to a gay bar, or been on a date, or ever explored his sexuality beyond that one awkward conversation with Ben just before he went home from the summer, but, seriously?!

The guy to the left of maybe-Chad leaned in. “He wants to know if you…”

Bloody hell, was he actually going to try to explain the question?

He was. There were hand gestures and everything.

Nope. Hux couldn’t deal with this.

“Excuse me.” He made a break for it.

Shoving between these muscular monoliths felt like being in that film where the guy got his hand caught by a boulder- all his strength did absolutely nothing to move them so Hux was forced to slither between them and risk losing a limb at any second if they decided to close ranks.

Just when he thought he was free one of them grabbed his wrist.

“Hey, dude, don’t be like that…”

Through the frosted back door out of the kitchen Hux could just make out the shape of a figure who was both wider and taller than these guys.

His brain made a stupid decision.

“My boyfriend’s just arrived out there, excuse me,” he lied far more smoothly than he expected.

Chad or Brad or whatever his name was let go with a small grumble but didn’t try to stop Hux leaving this time.

As he staggered across the room, dumping the untouched beer into the sink as he passed by, the kitchen door swung open and Hux was able to see more details of his new fake-boyfriend.

Even from the back it was clear the man was tall, and broad across the shoulders to the point of looking almost dorito shaped, but with sculpted thighs wrapped in skin-tight jeans that declared he never missed leg day. His mid-length dark hair styled in soft waves that seemed perfect for stroking. There was a rainbow patch inexpertly sew to the back of his leather jacket and a cloud of clove scented vape around him like he’d been made by some benevolent deity just for Armitage Hux.

With a level of bravery Hux had never known he had, he reached out and tapped the stranger’s elbow.

“Hey, mate,” Hux said in a nervous rush. “Sorry to bother you, but could you pretend to be my boyfriend for like five minutes? It’s an emergency.”

There was a rumbled “sure” and an exhaling of vapour that completely obscured the man’s face, but it didn’t matter because Hux was enthusiastically pulled forward into what he was only just realising would be his very first kiss.

Suddenly shy and terrified, Hux closed his eyes.

The lips that met his own were perfect- thick, plump, warm, and deliciously slick with spit.

He’d never considered that kissing might feel like that. Armed with this new information his brain immediately presented him with a thousand and one other places those lips could be put to use… then the stranger’s tongue slipped into his mouth.

Hux’ mind gave an error message and shut down so his nerve endings could really enjoy the show.

There was a hand in his hair, and another at his back, and one of those thick thighs had pressed forward between his own, and parts of his anatomy were rising to meet it, and oh god what had he been missing all these years.

Without any conscious decision on his part his hands came up to sink into that tempting hair. It was just as soft as it had looked from a distance. Hux let his fingers comb back through the curling strands and down over the man’s ears.

The muscular figure in his arms trembled like a leaf at the contact. Who knew ears could be so sensitive? Who knew they could be so big?

… Wait.

Hux opened his eyes to find himself- still with another man’s tongue in his mouth- staring into a pair of very familiar brown eyes.

“Ben?!” He pulled back as best he could against arms that felt like they were made of stone. “Ben, what the fuck? When did you…”

There wasn’t really a way to express the change in front of him. When they’d last seen each other in May Ben had been all long limbs and out of proportion potential, like a humanoid baby giraffe with a terrible haircut that barely covered his giant ears. Now he was…

“Holy shit.” There was no other way to put it.

As if to prove his identity the man gave him the wide goofy grin that Hux would always associate with Ben and his schemes.

“I worked out a little,” he said with a wink. “And I’m going by Kylo Ren now.”

“Huh.” A dozen snarky responses came to mind, but a man who went by his surname was in no position to judge.

“So… why do you need a fake boyfriend?” ‘Kylo’ asked.

They both looked down at the same moment- they were still wrapped around each other like horny teenagers. Neither of them moved.

“Uh…” Hux blushed. The answer felt pretty stupid now. “Your friends sort of freaked me out, they wouldn’t stop giving me beers and asking me weirdly personal questions. So I thought a fake-boyfriend would be a good way to avoid getting roofied by half a dozen giants.”

Kylo snorted and shook his head. “They were supposed to be doing reconnaissance.”

“What?”

“They told me they were going to ‘subtly find out if you were still single’.” Kylo explained. “They never mentioned trying to get you drunk. Sorry.”

“Subtle is not the word I would use.”

“So are you?”

“What?”

“Still single?”

Hux shrugged. “I dunno, I mean, I have this hot fake-boyfriend now. I’d say it’s up to him…”

“Oh, well in that case, you’re definitely not single then.” Kylo said, and kissed him again.