#mimi's

well, it wasn’t that delusional of you to think so. suna seemed so unbothered by his surroundings all the time, barely paying any attention to what was occurring around him and only looking for an excuse to nap or scroll mindlessly on his phone. or simply sit there, a blank stare plastered onto his unfairly pretty face with his hands stored in his pockets – or into his pants when he couldn’t find any, which was weird, truth be told. 

yet somehow, you still caught his hooded eyes focusing on you from time to time and it had you freaking out. 

it was a bit embarrassing, truly, thinking about all those times you had to clumsily flee his insistent gaze. like that one time you were looking for a place to sit at the cafeteria and, after safely putting down your plate of food, nearly dropped on your butt when you realized suna was taking a seat at the same table. after apologizing for the inconvenience, you basically fled from the scene, refusing to face the guy you were so infatuated with. 

said-guy thought it was adorable. maybe it was a bit sadistic of him, he pondered for a few seconds, watching as you blinked dumbly at him, neck basically craning to get a good look at him before whipping your head down and running to the opposite side of the hallway after bumping into him. 

“yer horrible, rin,” atsumu taunted, slapping his friend on the back with his usual annoying smirk. “scarin’ that girl away.”

“shut up,” suna mumbled from behind his mask, making his way out of the building and walking to the gym where their coach was most likely going to yell at them from being late, once again. 

suna didn’t know when it started. he wasn’t sure when he started paying close attention to you and your existence, at all. he usually didn’t bother with people outside of the volleyball club, believing it was a hassle. it was tiring, really, having to maintain relationships and emotional connections and communicating and committing – God, just the thought made his skin crawl. 

or maybe he did know when everything had begun.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

it was a particularly annoying day – one during which he had to deal with the miya twins’ antics more than the required weekly quota. while they were arguing in the gymnasium, chasing each other down and nearly punching each other to unconsciousness, he was practicing blocks, serves and spikes with aran and some other players. 

it just so happened that you had forgotten your lunch on one of the benches after P.E class. walking into the gym, you quickly made your way to your not-so-discreet baby pink bag, cute little bunny patterns all over it. you didn’t really pay much attention to what was going around and, before you could process the very loud ‘watch out!’ directed at you, large hands had found their way to your waist and your world was spinning. 

suna grunted, sharp features twisted with pain as the ball hit the sore muscles of his back. slowly, you detangled yourself from the sturdy chest you were pulled into, hands resting on broad shoulders. it only took you a good minute of dumbfounded staring, even dumber clueless blinking, for you to realize what had occurred. 

mortification painted your face in shades of red, your head immediately downcast to avoid suna’s penetrating – yet somehow soft, at the moment – gaze. he tilted his head to the side, a smirk curling his lips up as he made sense of your visible embarrassment. and while it might have annoyed him on any other occasion, for some reason, he found it irresistibly adorable. the way you took several steps back and nearly tripped and fell again, stammering apologies and messily bowing at him and his teammates before bolting outside, this time, with your lunch. 

“ya look creepy when y’smile,” atsumu told suna, earning himself a side-eye and a shrug. 

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

to your utter misery, nothing escaped suna rintarou. your not-so discreet glances his way, your lingering in the classroom while he lazily packed his stuff while atsumu was ushering him to go faster, your way of making sure you two weren’t sitting too far from one another in the cafeteria – a table or two away. 

at first, you had piqued suna’s curiosity. he didn’t connect the dots right away, assuming you were interested in one of the miya’s – if not both. to his grand misfortune, he always found himself with one, or the other. and sometimes both, which was even worse because, while osamu was easy to handle, the moment atsumu was in the vicinity, they were a nightmare to be around. 

the only thing that kept the middle blocker going was the fun videos and pictures he posted on his personal instagram, dragging both their names through the mud. 

but then, he started realizing little by little that you weren’t interested in any of them. 

the first eliminated candidate was atsumu. all suna had to do was observe the way you rolled your eyes at his yelling and slapped the back of his head whenever he tried to jokingly flirt with you – that was also when he discovered that apparently the three of you were childhood friends. 

the second was osamu. you often found yourself having to bring their lunches over because of how airheaded the both of them were. huffing and puffing as you mused about how he was so forgetful of his meals for someone who loves food so much. 

it wasn’t really telling, truth be told, but suna knew better. he knows the look of love, as cheesy and silly as it sounds. and all he could see in your eyes was pure disappointment. maybe a bit of disgust too, which he found absolutely hilarious, cackling about it to the two pissed off boys. 

and so, just like that, he was back to square one again. he didn’t linger there for too long though. 

your history teacher had lovingly given you an assignment to work on in groups and your unfortunate soul was sick the day he had announced it. 

groggily waking up from a not-so-restful nap, you had found yourself being assaulted by a multitude of messages from your dear best friend, screeching about how you got matched with suna since he was too busy sleeping to bother pairing with anyone. 

and so you had to meet countless times for your presentation. and that was when suna’s investigation was finally progressing. 

his weeks, if not months, of observing you had shown him that you were far from shy. you could be even louder than the twins if needed to but most of the time, you were as sweet as honey. you were gentle with your words and adorable in your mannerism. 

yet there was something he had slowly realized the more you guys spent time together. while you didn’t have any issues speaking your mind with your childhood friends, you were incredibly timid in his presence. barely looked him in the eyes. you couldn’t put two sentences together without stumbling over your words – and that would often happen whenever he’d lean in because your voice was just so uncharacteristically quiet. 

at first, he thought that it might have been because you and him weren’t exactly as close as you were with osamu and atsumu. but then again, shouldn’t you have gotten a bit more comfortable after a month? and how come you had so much ease carrying a conversation with kita shinsuke of all people in the damn school. 

the hypothesis that you might harbor any sort of feelings for him had come to suna on a random wednesday night. and he had found himself laughing so hard that his baby sister, who climbed into his bed after allegedly having a nightmare, had to slap him with her tiny hands to shut him up.

suna wasn’t cruel. he wasn’t one to toy with anyone’s feelings or give them high hopes only to let them down. so he didn’t see the harm in flustering you and getting sweet reactions out of you. he didn’t think it was that horrible of him to slip in little ambiguous remarks or send questionable texts whenever you would ask him a very easy question regarding your history project. 

after all, suna liked you. 

the realization didn’t come to him as a shock. he had never shown this much interest in anyone, couldn’t keep his eyes or mind off of you and hated how you were so comfortable with everyone but him – although he found it amusing, he did wish you could treat him like everybody else sometimes. 

and that was when your doom had befallen you. 

it started slow. his fingers brushing yours whenever you’d land him stationary, your name rolling off his tongue in a way that made your insides twist and churn, his eyes following you around and his little smirk. that stupid smirk of his that looked so cocky yet so soft when directed your way. 

you hated him. 

“he’s playing me!” you whined to your friend, your forehead slamming painfully over your desk as you gave up on catching up on due homework. 

said-friend only hummed at your little crashout – which actually was probably the tenth or so – the sound of her pencil against her textbook the only response you were given for a couple of minutes. 

“he doesn’t seem like the type, though,” she finally retorted, putting down her supplies for a well-deserved break. sparing a glance to your deadpan expression drew a little smile on her lips, ruffling your hair affectionately. 

“he looks like he would play you,” she admitted, nodding along to your delusions. “but isn’t he way too lazy to do that? you said so yourself, he barely is able to maintain friendships. why would he bother playing around with you?” 

a long sigh was your answer. well, she wasn’t wrong. one thing about suna was, he didn’t put extra effort into any of his relationships. the only thing holding up his friendship with the miyas was how obnoxiously clingy atsumu was and, as a consequence, osamu would follow along. and it just so happened that osamu and suna were strangely similar, making them now inseparable. 

otherwise, he really didn’t bother much. he didn’t cling onto anyone, didn’t try to specifically get to know the people around him and would only keep who he deemed important to him close. you’ve heard him once mumble about how human interactions required so much effort he simply could not spare, making you wonder how the hell did he even end up in a volleyball team when the whole concept of that game was teamwork. 

but then again, suna wasn’t heartless. he was a sweetheart of an older brother to the baby sister you had seen once while on an outing to get fresh pastries from your favorite bakery. relationships might be a lot of work for him but you could tell he valued the miyas more than he let on. hell, he even helps them reconcile after they have a fight – not without laughing at them first. 

“he’s cruel though,” you muttered, your voice edging on a whine. “if he’s not a player then why can’t he let me have a peaceful high school life?”

“you’re cute to tease, that might be why,” she chuckled in response, watching as your lips jutted out into a point, proving her point. “besides, he cannot be that bad, can he?”

he was. 

in fact, he might as well reveal that he was the devil himself and you wouldn’t even be surprised. 

a couple of days before your presentation, you found yourself at the library, waiting for suna to show up so you could wrap up your little project surrounding the heian period. hunched over your laptop, you were adding up little details to make your slideshow as pretty and as presentable as possible, correcting typos and removing excess information before you felt a figure looming behind you. 

you didn’t have the time to turn around before suna leaned over your shoulder, lips so close to your ears you could hear every breath he drew in and drew out, brushing over your blushing cheeks. 

“got the wrong kanji here,” he mumbled, pressing his finger lightly against your screen, pointing out his misspelled name. 

you stopped breathing for a hot minute. maybe two. hell, probably more judging by how you were basically suffocating. 

noting your lack of reaction, suna turned his head to take a glance at your face, and you nearly died when his lips accidentally brushed against your cheek. you could die right now and you would die a happy woman. 

a low chuckle slithered its way into your ear, so close it had goosebumps rising on every inch of your body, making you jump right in your seat and inch away from him, eyes wide. 

“i’ll fix it,” you managed to choke out, not moving at all. 

seeing how you didn’t even budge, suna bit down on his bottom lip, amusement painted all over his features as another evil little scheme had a lightbulb shine over his head. he whispered something like ‘it’s okay, i got it’ before caging you between both of his arms, deleting his name from the slideshow and typing it again. 

slow. way too slow. 

the heat on your cheeks felt like it was transferring to your entire being, your whole body burning up as he took his sweet time writing his name. you grew dizzy from the proximity, close-on intoxicated from his scent and you might as well pass out from every huff and puff of laughter he occasionally let out. 

so, so close to your ear he was basically penetrating your soul uninvited – or maybe you had let him in way before you could even notice his intrusions.

“cute,” he teased, poking your soft cheek with his finger before finally taking a seat beside yours.

you deflated like a balloon, giving up on every futile attempt to maintain the little dignity you had left as you let yourself collapse on the desk, hiding your face away from him. at suna’s chuckle, the librarian shushed him, bringing unwanted attention to your table.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

you had wished that your life would finally go back to normal once the presentation was over. you would go back to swooning over suna from the sidelines, doing your little cheerleading club activities and nearly dying under your massive mountain of schoolwork you keep procrastinating. 

but of course, you were never granted mercy. 

“i’m glad this is over,” suna sighed, followed by a soft smile as he looked down at you, watching how you took your time packing your things back into your bag neatly. 

you had a specific way of organizing your bag, making sure the bigger books were at the back, the smaller at the front and your cute bunny patterned pencil case at the front, which did not escape suna’s perceptive gaze.

he found it oddly cute but didn’t comment on it, sparing you the embarrassment. 

once you were finally done, you both left the class together to go to the cafeteria, slowly making your way through the crowded hallways. 

suna leaned against the wall, sighing as he noticed how long the queue was. 

“yeah, i’m glad it went well,” you smiled shyly, looking up at him with a timid gaze and blushy cheeks and suna patted himself on the back for letting his hair grow long enough to hide his ears. 

ears that were definitely tinted red. 

God, you were so cute he might eat you up instead of the mediocre school lunch. 

under his insistent gaze, you pulled on your uniform’s sleeves, your hands barely peeking through the white material of your shirt. you shifted on your feet, humming nervously as you tilted your head to the side, unused to this sudden quietness. well, suna didn’t talk much. but it was just… weird. how his hooded eyes seemed to darken even more. the way he leaned his head back against the wall with a heavy sigh. the teeth pulling on his bottom lip as his brows furrowed with what seemed like frustration. 

you were going to be the death of him and you had no clue. 

huffing out, he regained his composure, throwing a playful smirk your way. 

“you always that jittery?” he asked, drawing his words out lazily, his tone taunting you. 

as expected, you huffed and puffed, pouting and slapping his arm, looking as threatening as a little angry kitten. 

yeah, his appetite has definitely shifted to something else. 

“shut up,” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest. you really couldn’t have one cute moment with him before he’d act like a cocky idiot again. 

a lighthearted chuckle spilled past suna’s lips, melting your frown and replacing it with a smile of your own. he sounded so boyish, almost uncharacteristic to his usual deadpan persona. 

you loved it.

“c’mon, sweets” suna murmured, stepping close to you. gently, his fingers pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear, playing with the tips of your soft curls. he tilted his head down, smiling at the way you giggled at the stupid nickname he had chosen to give you on a random hangout at the library. 

“don’t be so mean to me, yeah?” the pleading edge to his low voice had your knees weaken, and you might have turned into a pathetic puddle at his feet if it were possible. 

“ya guys ‘re disgutin’,” atsumu’s voice shattered your little moment, making you roll your eyes in annoyance. 

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

doomsday has finally come. and instead of ending the entire human race it just chose to take your soul away and let your body to rot on God’s green and beautiful earth. 

what the hell. 

“don’t be like that,” suna chuckled, watching how baffled you were. your eyes as wide as saucers and your mouth agape, you wondered if you didn’t just imagine what he had said. 

well, clearly you didn’t, judging by how he just insisted more. 

the gymnasium was empty, and you were still in your cheerleading outfit while he was in his practice clothes, leaning towards you as he pushed his finger onto your nose, booping it. 

“ya like me, don’t ya?” he asked, the little accent he was slowly adopting ever since he had moved to hyogo tooting its horn. “should i make ya confess?” 

your mouth closed before any fly could allow itself inside. your blinking came to a stop, clearing your throat as you tried to play it off as something else entirely. 

“i- i don’t know what you’re talking about,” you blurted out a little too fast for you to seem as unbothered as you tried to. 

surprise, surprise, suna was impatient. he might have played around with you for a couple of months but his patience was running thinner than the ice atsumu walks on when kita is around. and he was hanging onto his last threads of sanity already, wanting nothing else but to just be yours.

“liar,” he mumbled, taking a step closer to you. you took one back. 

his pace got faster, forcefully pushing you into a wall and leaning his face so close to yours you couldn’t see anything else but his pretty eyes and tempting lips. hot puffs of air brushed your face gently, his thumb caressing your burning cheeks as your mind closed shut to the pleading gaze in his greenish pools. 

“i- sunarin,” you whined, pushing uselessly on his chest, knowing damn well you weren’t strong enough to push him away.

“tell me,” he practically begged, his forehead pushing into yours as his other hand slid up from your waist to the side of your face, tilting your head up so your lips brushed against his. “c’mon,” he hissed, frustrated.

please, if this is how i die, i will kill myself. 

well, might as well embarrass yourself to death to get what you wanted. the ends justify the means, right?

“i mean,” you started, stammering and stumbling over your words before you could even string a sentence together, “i might like you. a little.”

“yeah?” suna chuckled in disbelief, as if he didn’t already know. he closed his eyes for a second, drawing a deep breath in. “almost made me lose it waitin’ for ya,” he laughed lightly, his cheeks glowing pink as he looked at you with such tenderness your insides were melting. 

well, you couldn’t say you were shocked – not with the way your best friend had drilled the fact that he was head over heels for you into your mind. but getting a confession, although indirect, from him did feel… pretty good. so good your heart was beating out of your ribcage. 

“i’ll kiss you now, okay?” suna murmured, leaning in close, his eyes zeroing on your parted mouth. basically giving you no choice but to nod your head yes, but he wasn’t taking your silence as an answer, hands slipping down to squeeze your waist. “hm?”

“okay,” you breathed out, stupidly wasting your precious oxygen. 

suna’s lips were soft. warm. a little chapped but you didn’t really mind it when they molded so perfectly against yours. tender at first, gentle and careful before deepening your kiss the slightest bit. just enough to have your head spinning and your fingers clinging onto him for dear life. your inexperience was obvious with the way you hesitated to move your own lips more than necessary, a little noise of surprise escaping you as he bit teasingly into your bottom lip. 

drawing back, suna didn’t utter a word, observing how your lipgloss had smeared around your mouth, the sparkles probably transferred to his own. 

“that was…” you muttered, giggling nervously. suna smiled, bumping his nose with yours affectionately. “yeah,” he whispered back.

warm hands squeezed your middle, pulling you close to him again and you wrapped your arms around his neck, melting into another dizzying kiss.

© mimi-sunny — all rights reserved

𝖲𝖳𝖠𝖭𝖣𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖲𝖮 𝖢𝖫𝖮𝖲𝖤 𝖸𝖮𝖴 𝖧𝖠𝖵𝖤 𝖳𝖮 𝖫𝖮𝖮𝖪 𝖴𝖯

starring : kageyama; tsukishima; kuroo; oikawa; iwaizumi; bokuto; ushijima; sakusa; suna

the subway was too cramped. you stood at the far back, leaning against the surface behind you while your friend held onto the metallic bar next to you. the entire ride, irritation had been etched onto his face, his eyebrows permanently furrowed in nothing but frustration. and the more the train welcomed passengers, the less patience he had. 

“should’ve taken the car,” he had sighed earlier when someone’s elbow dug into his side. more to himself than anyone, really, given how you didn’t hear a word he had said.

truth be told, you didn’t really mind the crowded space – although the heat was unbearable. 

even so, you could handle it. if it meant being so close to him. 

as the subway stopped at yet another station, more people made their way inside, the ones behind him pushing onto him until his other hand slammed onto the wall behind you, startling you the slightest bit.

slowly, you tilted your chin up, eyes raking over the width of his torso, the broadness of his shoulder. catching onto the way his throat bobbed, the shock written in his eyes, equally as wide as yours. hot breath fanned over your face, the scent of his cologne dizzying. the hand beside your head dropped, brushing over your arm as it did so, goosebumps rising on your skin at the barely-there contact.

you didn’t say anything. didn’t crack a joke to ease the tension. simply stared up at him, utterly dumbfounded, scared that if you even dared to open your mouth, your feelings would tumble out of it before you could even think about stopping yourself. 

and they felt so, so heavy. so hefty. so much more burdensome than anytime they ever had in the past few years. worse than when you were still a naive high school student. you’d always guarded yourself, kept emotional distance between the both of you, made sure that you’d never dare to play with the line between what you were and what you wanted to be to him. 

and yet. the fact that it could have taken such a small incident for you to spill all your secrets to him was embarrassing, really. 

“sorry,” he suddenly muttered, bringing your attention back to the situation at hand. 

the smile he offered you was tight. barely reached his eyes. 

you shook your head, lashes fluttering as you looked at anything but him. but he was not having it, for once allowing himself to act on impulse instead of thinking about it. his fingers found yours, his skin hot against yours, pulling gently on them until you finally looked up at him again, mouth dry. 

“don’t look away,” he murmured, loud enough so only you could hear, his tone almost pleading. 

“look at me.”

and how could you refuse him.

𝖯𝖴𝖫𝖫𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖸𝖮𝖴 𝖢𝖫𝖮𝖲𝖤𝖱 𝖡𝖸 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖶𝖠𝖨𝖲𝖳

starring : daichi; sugawara; kuroo; iwaizumi; matsukawa; akaashi; kita; osamu; suna

you barely found time to spend with your boyfriend. 

your busy schedules barely ever align, often only having the time for a quick lunch together or even a small coffee break before finding yourselves late to your respective occupations. and while you could be understanding, you couldn’t help but feel lonelier and lonelier the more time passed. it wasn’t lost on him, noting how defeated you’d look when he’d excuse himself or when your manager would ask you to hurry back to your office.

and so, on his way back home a few days ago, when he’d caught sight of a flyer promoting a summer festival, he was quick to cancel all of his plans that evening and urged you to do the same.

you’d felt giddy the entire time you were getting ready, opening your apartment door to find him dressed in a black yukata, chuckling at the loose belt around his waist, prompting him to turn around so you could fasten it for him properly. 

“you look beautiful,” he had told you, pressing a tender kiss to your temple after taking in the breathtaking sight of you in your own floral attire. 

the festival was booming. kids ran around and away from their worried parents while couples strolled around, hand in hand. and so were you, fingers intertwined with your boyfriend’s while you held a candied apple in the other, swinging both your and his arm happily as you chatted away. 

suddenly, your eyes caught sight of flames rising to the sky and, without thinking, you dragged your poor boyfriend to the food stalls. visibly, you weren’t the only one who’d been attracted by the fire, dozens of people standing before the, supposedly, seafood stand. the cook was seemingly much better at charring the squids and scallops, rather than actually cooking them. 

while he didn’t really care much for the spectacle, your boyfriend didn’t mind staying here for a few minutes if it meant seeing you beam this way, amazed by the display of poor cooking skills taking place in front of you. 

a movement on your right caught his eyes, noticing someone trying to slip between you and the person behind you. not thinking too much about it, his arm looped around your waist, bringing you the tiniest bit closer to him. the sudden contact made you jump, drawing a small smile on his face. but he didn’t say anything, simply pulling you into him a bit more. 

your shoulder brushed against his chest, his cheek resting on top of your head as he tried to find the same interest you did in the impromptu show. 

although he knew you were far too distracted to even care about it anymore.

𝖧𝖠𝖭𝖣 𝖨𝖭 𝖸𝖮𝖴𝖱 𝖧𝖠𝖨𝖱 𝖶𝖧𝖨𝖫𝖤 𝖧𝖴𝖦𝖦𝖨𝖭𝖦

starring : sugawara; kageyama; kenma; akaashi; iwaizumi; kita; sakusa

you felt like it’s been forever since the last time you’d seen your beloved boyfriend. while he had promised to be quick about his family visit, you couldn’t help but feel like your chest was nothing but a gaping whole, missing his presence like no other, praying that your missing piece would just make its way back to you. 

“you’re being overly dramatic,” your friend had sighed over the phone at your shenanigans. “he’s only been gone for two days and he’s coming back tomorrow.” 

it didn’t matter to you. your plushies weren’t big enough to help you drift to sleep, the fleece blankets not warm enough to shield you from the oh-so freezing summer breeze at night. worst of all, you had to take the subway back home every evening instead of sitting in the comfortable passenger seat of his car and dozing off. 

and so, mourning his absence like a widow, you strolled around your shared apartment wearing the clothes he had left behind and drinking in his mugs, drowning yourself in his cologne and sleeping in his side of the bed in hopes that maybe, just maybe, you could feel a bit of the warmth he’d left behind. 

your nap was disrupted by the sound of keys jingling at the door. 

it was a bit embarrassing, really, how quickly your ears caught onto the sound, regardless of you being half-asleep. 

without thinking twice, you rolled off the bed, landing on the floor with a small yelp. not letting the pain in your butt stop you, you rose to your feet, practically bouncing your way to the front door. 

at the sight of you running up to him, your boyfriend didn’t hesitate before letting his bags drop to the floor, catching onto the adorable yet sleepy smile painted on your face and the messiness of your hair and the shirt you’d clearly stolen from his side of the closet. 

with a small huff of laughter, he opened his arms to you, letting you burrow yourself in his embrace. no words were spoken between the two of you, the silence interrupted by soft sighs and quiet giggles. lopping your arms around his torso, you buried your face into his neck, your need for his warmth and presence finally quenched. 

his hand rested on the small of your back, pressing you impossibly closer to him, face buried into your hair while his other hand rested on the back of your head. he swallowed harshly, suddenly realizing how much he’d missed this, how much he’d missed you.

sure, you did speak on the phone every day he had spent away. and sure, it wasn’t like the two of you were separating for that long. but God, did he never want to be apart from you ever again.

his arm tightened its hold around your midriff, squeezing you closer to him and you made a noise akin to a squeal, your laughter muffled into his skin as he mumbled something about stringing you along with him the next time he’d have family matters to attend to. 

your hands caressed his back, nodding along to his nonsense.

you wished you could have melted into him.

𝖧𝖨𝖬 𝖡𝖤𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖦𝖮𝖮𝖣 𝖶𝖨𝖳𝖧 𝖢𝖧𝖨𝖫𝖣𝖱𝖤𝖭

starring : sugawara; daichi; yamaguchi; hinata; kuroo; akaashi; kita; osamu; atsumu

you’ve always been convinced that you’d rather walk on a thin bridge of needles, barefooted, above a lava lake, rather than get pregnant. 

the absolute nightmare of spending nine months of utter suffering, throwing up and waddling around like a penguin was not on your to-do list. 

not now. not tomorrow. not ever. 

and to think that it only took your baby cousin visiting your messy apartment while your boyfriend was around to re-consider the promise you’d made to yourself as a teenager was embarrassing, in a way. 

it wasn’t your fault, really. and it wasn’t like you had planned this. your aunt, who was weirdly close to your age, had dropped off her adorable daughter at your house, claiming that she needed someone to babysit the toddler as she had an impromptu meeting to attend to. and who were you to refuse, really, not minding whatever she was saying as you were way too busy holding the baby in your arms and cooing lovingly at her. 

she’d always been an angel, according to your aunt, and you couldn’t agree more. barely crying when her mother left, finishing her bottle with no issue. to top it off, it only took a few, gentle taps to her back to burp her. 

you’d spent most of the morning on your own, absentmindedly patting her tummy while she napped beside you, feeding her when it was time and watching her try her hardest to solve the shape puzzles laid on the floor, her eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration.

your boyfriend had sent you a text you were too distracted to see and it was quite a surprise to find him ringing your apartment bell. and you could tell he was equally as confused, staring at the baby you were holding on your hip beaming at him.

safe to say it only took them ten minutes to become inseparable.

“she’s such an angel,” he said, fondness coating his words as he encouraged her to crawl to him. 

and she’d clearly taken a liking to him. you didn’t mind the break, laying comfortably on your couch, watching the both of them communicate in babbles. well, you were mainly watching him, truth be told, discovering a side to him that you’d never seen before. 

to say that you liked it would be an understatement. 

it was adorable, truly, watching him be so invested in the conversation between them, repeating the half-words she was squealing at him with such a tender look to his eyes and applauding her when she’d solve her little games, to which she’d respond by bouncing in place, overjoyed that she was being showered in praise. 

unfortunately, your aunt just had to interrupt the peaceful atmosphere in your flat and it took everything in you to not hide her baby away so you could keep her a bit longer with you. and it seemed like your cousin didn’t want to leave either, seeing how her lips wobbled and her eyes turned glassy, distressed by the fact that she couldn’t stay longer.

after bidding her a painfully long and emotional goodbye, you closed the door behind you, flopping back onto the couch while he sat on the floor in front of you, leaning his back onto the coffee table behind him, bringing his water bottle to his lips.

it took you a few seconds of staring before you spoke up again.

“y’sure you don’t want a football team?”

needless to say, he almost choked on his drink. 

𝖲𝖫𝖮𝖶, 𝖫𝖠𝖹𝖸 𝖪𝖨𝖲𝖲𝖨𝖭𝖦

starring : kenma; akaashi; suna; osamu; sakusa

you’d been so stressed out lately. 

between your countless deadlines and the sudden family drama you were dragged into, you didn’t know where to look or where to start. and it wasn’t lost on your boyfriend. he noticed the way you were easily irritated lately, the frustration wrapping around your words, how jittery you’d been, the permanent frown on your face. 

he hated to see you like this.

and while he did wish he could take the weight off of your shoulders, it wasn’t like he could just barge into your familial issues or do the work you’d gotten a degree for. 

thus, he was limited to little actions he hoped would help ease your situation a bit. he’d been on kitchen duty for the past month, cooking up your favorite meals every night and making your coffee exactly how you like it in the morning. 

the apartment you both shared had always been tidy yet it felt pristine every time you’d walk in lately, finding no dust particles in the air and the wooden floor scrubbed perfectly. you could even see yourself through it. 

hell, he’d make sure you never ran out of anything, checking you makeup and skincare drawers every week despite knowing such products don’t need refills for a good amount of time. yet you’d still find lipglosses and serums you were sure weren’t there in the first place. 

despite his best efforts, there was no helping your situation. so he opted for the next best thing he could think of. 

arms crossed and leaning against the doorway, he watched you huff and puff about your irritating uncle, rambling about evil he was, always bringing his opinion where it wasn’t needed. cruelly enough, your boyfriend wasn’t paying mind to your words, simply observing you with a fond smile. 

as you came closer to him, his hand grabbed ahold of yours, pulling you closer to him despite your protests.

“i have to sleep,” you whined to him, glaring up with exhaustion written all over your face. 

tenderly, his lips pressed against your forehead, caressing their way down the space between your eyebrows. his other hand slid up your arm, drawing shivers all over your skin, grazing the length of your neck before tilting your chin up, eyes meeting yours. 

“i know,” was the only thing he’d said before his lips pressed against yours. 

and with the way your shoulders immediately relaxed, how your arms looped around his neck and the soft sigh slipping past your mouth, he wondered why he didn't opt for this option from the very beginning of your torment.

he’d assumed that, given your distressed state, you wouldn’t want anyone close enough that you could feel their presence. yet he found that he was wrong, seeing how you melted so easily into him, all the tension you had stored within you forming a pathetic puddle at your feet. 

his lips were soft, slightly chapped, yet so gentle as they moved against yours. he kissed you like he had all the time in the world, one arm wrapped around your waist while the other cradled your face like you were made of glass, thumb stroking against your cheek lovingly. 

he didn’t rush anything, humming as your fingers played with his hair, tilting your head back the slightest bit as he deepened the kiss.

despite his slow pace, you couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling that was taking over you. heat pooled at the pit of your stomach as his tongue slid against yours, a small noise tumbling out of your mouth when his teeth nipped playfully at your bottom lip. 

when he took a step forward, you took two back. until the back of your knees hit the bed behind you, forcing you to break away from him as you fell onto the mattress. 

with a small chuckle, your boyfriend sat beside you, his hand caressing your cheek as he stared at you with nothing but adoration and something akin to hunger. 

“let me take care of you, yeah?” 

the next day, you’d called in sick.

© mimi-sunny — all rights reserved. do not translate, plagiarize or feed into ai.

𝖣𝖨𝖫𝖴𝖢 | 𝗁𝖺𝗂𝗋 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌 <𝟥 | 𝟫𝟢𝟣 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌

when diluc walked into the classroom and didn’t spot you eating your lunch with your friend group, he already had a pretty good idea of where he could find you. 

as exam season was approaching faster than most students could catch up on months and months of studying material, diluc knew that you were, as per usual, over-exerting yourself to get the results you oh-so desired. 

which eventually led to sleepless nights and terrible eating habits.

diluc wasn’t close enough to you to know about any of that. he just so happened to hear that from your friends when he couldn’t find you anywhere last semester, realizing that this might be more of a routine than he had imagined. 

diluc, in fact, barely ever talked to you. 

he was satisfied with being a simple bystander, admiring you from afar. as far as possible, given the fact that you were in the same class for the next couple of years. but diluc never imagined he would be foolish enough to dismiss the greed that was slowly growing inside of him, seeking out your presence in every setting until the simple habit of staring at you from across the room wasn’t enough for him anymore. 

“of course it wouldn’t be,” his brother had sighed at him after a rare moment of vulnerability during which he opened up about the storm his heart was braving. 

“God, i could count the amount of times you’ve talked to her on one hand, diluc,” kaeya had pressed, pinching the bridge of his nose, as if his aggravated him more than his sibling. “a single hand.”

diluc had only brushed him off with a snarky remark.

it was frustrating. how he couldn’t find the same comfort he’s always been content with, watching you cheerfully chat away with your circle of friends or study in the library while he’d get too distracted to complete his own work. 

the realization that he desired nothing else but your attention had befallen him a few days ago, all thanks to his dear brother who had no difficulty reading him.

it felt a bit stupid. a bit pathetic. a bit lamentable. how he was seeking something so close yet so out of reach. and the only obstacle in his way being himself and his damn self-loathing, preventing him from taking any unnecessary, risky steps.

and while he knew why he wasn’t stepping out of his comfort zone, he’d rather die than admit it to kaeya. death would be sweeter than admitting that rejection was a word that inspired more fear in him than any math test their cruel teacher could ever concoct.

it was terrifying, really. rejection was an unwanted guest that could visit him if he even dared to come any closer than he had already allowed himself to - which wasn’t a lot, truth be told. 

and despite it all, despite all those thoughts raging in the depths of his mind, diluc still found himself walking up to the storage room at the last floor of the building. 

stepping into it quietly, he couldn’t help the small smile painting his lips as he found you exactly as he had pictured you’d be. sat on the floor, asleep, lips parted while your chest rose up and down slowly with every breath you took. a few strands of your hair fell over your face, the necktie of your uniform loosened up. 

carefully, diluc closed the door behind him before making his way towards you, crouching next to your peaceful form. gently, he draped his uniform’s jacket over your shoulders. while it wasn’t this cold, he knew you weren’t taking enough care of yourself to risk sleeping on the floor with nothing to protect you from the chilly breeze. 

and maybe it was how unfamiliarly close he had gotten. or maybe it was the endless months of pining after you. but diluc had, for once, allowed his heart to dictate his actions before his mind cound interfere.

tender, callused fingers brushed soft strands of hair away from your face. and he found himself, yet again, enamored by the very sight of you. 

you were just too pretty for his poor teenage heart. 

so pretty that his hands itched with the urge to cup your face. to caress the plushness of your cheeks. to trace the sweetness of your features. 

that was definitely his cue to leave the room. not if he wanted to do something extremely stupid.

carefully, making sure you wouldn’t wake up from your slumber, diluc brought the strand of hair he was playing with to his lips, closing his eyes, as if to cherish the moment a bit longer. 

you threw a quick glance to the presence by your side, all the feelings you had stored in the depths of your heart crawling up your neck and painting your cheeks in shades of shyness. you prayed that he didn’t catch the shortness of your breath, shutting your eyes closed almost as fast as you had opened them. 

it took everything within you to not move or dare speak up, waiting until the person you were so infatuated with had finally stepped out of the storage room. 

and it took everything within diluc to not step back into that damn room, leaning against the door as he shut it behind him. cluelessly staring into nothing as both your hearts raced in unison. 

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

𝖠𝖩𝖠𝖷 | 𝗄𝖺𝖻𝖾𝖽𝗈𝗇 :𝗉 (𝗌𝖼𝖾𝗇𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗈 𝗂 𝗌𝖺𝗐 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗂𝗄𝗍𝗈𝗄) | 𝟪𝟦𝟥 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌

ajax knew he was insufferable. 

he knew your patience ran thin every time you could spot his ginger hair somewhere in the crowd - and how easy was it to spot when he was the only one in the damn school with such a fiery hair color. 

it was so easy to get on your nerves and ajax loved nothing else more than watching your cheeks burn red with anger – maybe embarrassment – as you found the most creative ways to insult him without ever letting a single swear word slip past your lips.

you were so cute, he thought, craning your neck just to glare at him and trying to appear as threatening as you could. 

but ajax could only deem every attempt of yours as a failure. you resembled a small angry animal.

“you’re like a kitty,” he had once told you, earning himself a well-deserved slap to his arm. 

it wasn’t enough to deter him from continuing, claiming that the way you were so cold yet so affectionate was just so adorable. 

nothing was ever enough to deter him from playing with your last nerve.

“aw, c’mon, you must have a crush,” ajax said playfully, looking down at you with that stupid smirk of his. 

you didn’t know what brought this on. you didn’t care to know either.

and so, you only rolled your eyes, turning your back to him as you walked away from him. 

but of course, the stupid ginger was, as always, following you around in the hallway. it was such a familiar sight to your classmates that none of them dared interfere with your daily banter and disputes (although mostly one-sided).

“i don’t,” you grumbled under your breath, mourning the peace you had been dreaming about since, well, this morning. 

God forbid a girl wants to eat alone.

and besides, there was absolutely no way in hell you were ever going to admit to ajax of all people that you were hopelessly in love with him. 

that your stupid heart beat at the simple sight of him. that every waking moment of yours was spent thinking about him and what you two could be if you would just be more open about your feelings. 

“i mean, if you could stop being so mean and stubborn with him, maybe that whole mess would progress,” your friend had told you when you were grumbling about the gingerhead.

and of course, you ignored her advice.

it was just too scary, you reasoned. what if he didn’t reciprocate your feelings? what if the constant teasing and nagging and clinging to your side was nothing but a pastime for him?

“liar,” ajax said in a sing-song voice, bringing you back to the present moment. 

he nearly bumped into you when you stopped walking. 

“you’re a terrible liar,” he teased, watching with amusement how you needed a second to close your eyes, take a deep breath before turning around to, once again, glare at him. 

so cute. 

“what do you even know, tartaglia?” you spat back at him, folding your arms over your chest. 

you hated him. 

how his pretty looks had your mind reeling. and the teasing tone in his voice was enough to make you want to puke your guts out. you felt too much around him, a whirlwind of anger and longing and irritation and yearning. 

“even if i had one,” you added, cocking your eyebrow mockingly at him, “you’re not even close to finding out.” 

you tilted your chin up, almost defyingly.

and you’ve never looked sweeter to ajax.

your heart stopped beating for a dangerous second when a low chuckle spilled past ajax’s lips, making your expression falter for a split second. 

your ears burned red with embarrassment at your reaction. 

so mortifying, you thought, getting affected by such a small thing. 

seemingly, ajax wasn’t satisfied with simply toying with your very sanity using a few words and glances. 

seemingly, ajax had decided to take his little game a step further.

a huge step further. 

he pushed onto your shoulder lightly, his arm snaking around your waist, preventing you from falling backwards and successfully trapping you between his taller frame and the wall behind you. 

you found yourself speechless, unable to even form a single thought. 

your eyes were as wide as saucers, cheeks hot and scorching. 

ajax could have sworn this was the cutest expression he’d ever seen you wear since you’ve met one another. 

and his face was just so, so close to yours you could count the constellation of freckles on his dusty pink cheeks. it was so easy to notice how long his lashes were, how soft his lips seemed to be. and you wondered if they tasted as sweet as they looked for a split second. 

noticing where your gaze went, ajax could only huff out a laugh, his finger caressing your red cheek. 

you flinched a little, your usually irritated expression melting into a shyer one as a taunting whisper slithered its way into your mind. 

“is this close enough?”

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

𝖫𝖸𝖭𝖤𝖸 | 𝖿𝗂𝗋𝖾𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄𝗌 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝖿𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇 >.< | 𝟨𝟩𝟤 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌

lyney was good with crowds. 

with his yearly magic shows during school festivals since middle school, his popularity and how easygoing he was, lyney was quite literally born to be on stage. his ability to keep the crowd on its toes with his breathtaking stages and thrilling performances was truly commendable and his number of admirers never ceased to increase. 

lyney was good with words as well. flowery words spilled past the barrier of his lips like second nature, captivating the crowd with both his honeyed voice and his pretty face, leaving them speechless and - almost like hypnosis - prompting them to give him nothing but a standing ovation at the end of each and every show he gave. 

lyney, despite his incredible talents, was, at the moment, wordless. 

this year’s school festival has come to an end, the last hours reserved to the students only. while the sun burned away in the horizon to leave its place for the moon, the guests left the school grounds. a campfire burned in the yard, music flowing through the chilly night air. while couples and friends danced around the flames burning away, lonelier souls gathered together a bit afar from the light to discuss this year’s events and reminisce on the fun they had or missed out on. 

on the rooftop, lyney stood before you, eyes wandering anywhere but towards your figure. he looked at the night sky, gazed at the stars with anxiety swimming in his lavender pools. his hands were a bit clammy - a sensation he wasn’t used to. he shouldn’t be nervous, he told himself. it wasn’t the first time he felt this way around you though. 

sweaty palms, racing heart, shortness of breath, nervousness and butterflies flocking around the pit of his stomach. all of the symptoms pointed towards lovesickness. 

well, lovesickness was a bit dramatic. 

lyney was smitten, more accurately. 

he caught the love bug as his sister, lynette, had put bluntly while they were rehearsing a couple of weeks ago. 

but it felt like a fever. spending his dreams with you until he woke up confused and alone in his bed, staring up at the ceiling with shame covering his cheeks in shades of red. your name spiraling in his mind until he was too dizzy to focus on his homework. 

lyney thought that the far-fetched words people used to describe him would be more believable if they were employed to talk about you instead. 

bewitching, enthralling, enchanting, mesmerizing, charming- and the list went on and on. 

so, spellbound and forced into silence by your presence, lyney could only stare at the sky to avoid your eyes in fear of falling into a pit he’d never find his way out of. not that he really minded, if he thought about it a bit longer. 

“lyney?” terrible choice of words. 

the magician caught his bottom lip between his teeth, his ears tingling as the melodious sound of your voice reached them. his name sounded so sweet on your lips. and he wondered if they could be sweeter. 

he shook his head, feeling heat slowly crawling up his neck. 

“i’m sorry i-” a gulp. a pause. 

what was he even supposed to say? magically make his heart appear in the palm of his hands and offer it to you? maybe he should’ve simply sent you a letter with a dove he could make appear with a simple flick of his fingers. perhaps a small letter and his signature rainbow rose on your desk would have sufficed. 

but now that he was trapped here with you, lyney decided to simply clutch onto the last threads of his courage, finally uttering the three little, heavy words. 

as if on cue, fireworks erupted behind him, casting pink and orange lights over your confused expression and he cursed yoimiya at the back of his mind. 

“what was that?” you asked, tilting your head to the side with a small chuckle, “i didn’t get a word.”

and what a cruel liar you were. 

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

𝖷𝖨𝖠𝖮 | 𝖺𝗅𝗆𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝗀𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝖼𝗄𝖾𝖽 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝖻𝗒 𝖺 𝖻𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗉𝗋𝗂𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗋𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀’𝗌 𝖺𝗅𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 !!! | 𝟪𝟣𝟤 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌

it was no secret to anyone that you had a crush on xiao. 

well, maybe only the star basketball player of your high school had no idea of the feelings you bore for him.

he wasn’t dense per se. in fact, he was not only an amazing athlete but he also scored amongst the top grades in the entire campus, second only to albedo.

yet, he didn’t seem to have caught onto your very obvious infatuation for him. he was used to having girls flocking around him during his practices and breaks, barely addressing any of them and it sometimes led you to think that he probably viewed you the same way. 

you shook your head, trying to get those thoughts out.

you had an advantage : not only were you best friends with his step-sister, hu tao, but you also became friends with him! something hu tao had to reiterate to you a couple hundred times because he doesn’t bother with people he doesn’t care about, so you might actually have a chance with him! 

with those thoughts in mind, and a little smile curling your lips up, you walked into the gymnasium where the high school’s team was practicing for an upcoming inter-school tournament. 

you swung around your little bag, filled with cookies you had baked this morning before almost missing your bus. 

not wanting to be too obvious about your intentions (although everyone in the damn club knew the reason behind your diligent attendance to their practice), you made sure to pack enough for the whole team – and even for the coach! 

the air was a little colder as winter was approaching and you started regretting not wearing the scarf your mom was chastising you about for the past week. the only excuse you had found to not wear the ridiculously long neckerchief was because ‘it wouldn’t match the aesthetic of my fit mom!’ 

exasperated, especially since said ‘fit’ was just your school uniform styled in a cuter way, she had only rolled her eyes and let you go. at least, if you ever caught a cold, it’d be during the upcoming holidays. 

you hummed a happy tune, joyfully ignoring the little voice screaming in your head that you probably should go back home and study for your midterms that would take place in less than two weeks rather than waste your time trying to woo the unwoo-able. 

as you pushed the doors open, the sounds of sneakers hitting the linoleum floor became clearer. 

you could spot the team’s coach, beidou, blow into her whistle when venti messed up yet again, pulling a smile on your lips. 

it didn’t take too long for you to spot xiao, in the background as usual, observing everything that was taking place on the terrain before making any move.

he was very calculating in his actions, never jumping in the face of anything before taking a second to think it through – and he was a quick-thinker, easily making decisions that have always brought his team to victory. 

he wasn’t the team’s best player for nothing, often going toe to toe with scaramouche who was just as competitive, making the practice matches a bit more passionate and a bit more intense than they should be. 

it worked in their favor though, attracting students from all classes to their training sessions and, eventually, to their matches, keeping the club and its reputation amongst other schools alive. 

you looked away when a pair of amber eyes caught yours, boring into you in such a destabilizing way, it nearly had you tripping over nothing. 

you spotted the bench next to the coach, deciding that maybe you should take a seat and share some sweets with her. 

but of course, nothing happened as planned. and everything occurred in such a fast-paced way you could barely register all of it. 

the only thing you were able to process was the arm wrapped tightly around your waist, the toned chest you were pressed against, the way xiao was glaring at venti – who only offered a wink, sticking his tongue out while scratching the back of his head as an apology – as a basketball laid in his hand, the sound of the impact resonating around the gymnasium. 

the bag in your hands had fallen to the floor unbeknownst to you and you could hear a pin drop from how silent everyone was, big eyes staring at the both of you. 

“are you okay?” xiao finally asked you.

and maybe you were crazy but it was almost as if his eyes had softened and his tone was laced with concern. 

stupidly, you nodded without a sound.

the star player smiled down at you, huffing out a small laugh at the cute expression on your face. and you were way too enamored to even care about your crumbled cookies.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

𝖲𝖢𝖠𝖱𝖠𝖬𝖮𝖴𝖢𝖧𝖤 | 𝗃𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗈𝗎𝗌𝗒 𝗃𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗈𝗎𝗌𝗒 <//𝟥 | 𝟣.𝟤𝗄 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌

scaramouche has never been this irritated in his life. 

the simple sound of heizou’s stupid voice had him clenching his teeth and his fingers gripping at the pen in his hand hard enough to almost bend and break it. and the sound of your laughter following whatever that dumb red-head was saying didn’t help his case. 

“y’look like you’re about to kill someone,” mona commented, looking up from the report they were working on. 

scara didn’t reply, simply rolling his eyes – whether at her or the scene occurring behind her, it didn’t matter. he should be focusing on his group project. he should be wrapping up his part of the report so they could put everything together and hand it to their history teacher. 

but despite his best effort, he couldn’t help the way his eyes were drawn to your direction, how claws dug their way up his ribcage and grabbed ahold of his heart and squeezed.

hard enough to puncture it. 

it felt childish, really, how he was always left with a bitter taste whenever he spotted you walking alongside the bane of his very existence. ever since professor zhongli took the liberty of forming the groups himself, and ever since you had befriended heizou, kunikuzushi couldn’t help the whirlwind of emotions crashing onto him. 

he didn’t like how close the two of you have gotten, didn’t like how it was so easy for heizou to have you smile and laugh, how you were practically glowing around him. 

most of all, he didn’t like the way the very sight of the two of you together had a lump forming in his throat, feelings crawling up to the tip of his tongue, ready to spill them out at your feet.

he wasn’t sure what it was. anger and irritation and sadness and-

“you’re jealous,” kazuha commented after observing his friend for the past half hour. 

“what!?”

scara’s exclamation drew attention from all of their classmates – from you – as well as their teacher who had been busy sipping on his coffee and grading some papers. ashamed of his outburst, he muttered a small apology before lowering his head into his arm, glaring up at his platinum-haired friend, who was sitting next to him. 

said-friend simply shrugged his shoulders, smiling down innocently like he didn’t just open the doors of realization that scaramouche was stubbornly keeping closed and locked. 

and maybe it was because scaramouche had never been the most patient person to walk this planet, or perhaps it was the way his stomach turned and churned when he caught heizou pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. he didn’t really care how he even found the courage to do something about how he was feeling. all he cared about was your hand in his and finally, finally, hearing your voice calling it out to him. 

it was so easy to see how confused you were, eyebrows scrunched together as you called out to your friend, wondering what the hell was up with him this time.

you weren’t blind, nor deaf. you had noticed how nasty he was being to your group project partner, how he commented on everything he said or did, how he glared in his direction any chance he would get.

and while you weren’t one or the other, you were certainly dense because you had no clue why kunikuzushi would even act this way for no reason.

“what the hell, kuni!” you yelled, stumbling on your feet as he dragged you to the back of the school, not uttering out a single word the entire time. 

the sun was already setting, barely anyone roaming the hallways of the establishment, let alone the courtyards and gymnasium. it felt like it was just the both of you left.

“what is wrong with you!?” you asked again, this time even louder, glaring at the back facing you. 

you heard a sigh coming from him as he turned around and was about to protest about his attitude. but the look he gave you, the hurt flashing in the depths of those indigo pools of his, the vulnerability painted all over his porcelain-like features nailed you in place. rendered you speechless. and you wondered for a second if you weren’t being too harsh with him. if, maybe, you’d soften up your demeanor, he’d open up to you this time around. 

“i should be the one asking you that,” scaramouche muttered back, hurt turning to anger, his defenses shooting up from the ground, the crack he had opened up for you sealed tight once again.

as he finally came to a stop, his hand that was wrapped around your wrist pulled you, making you stumble on your feet. your face bumped onto his chest, a small pained noise escaping you. 

before you could begin to complain, kunikuzushi spoke up again.

“what’s up with you and that dumb red-head, anyways?” he questioned, the irritation in his voice noticeable. 

he didn’t let you respond to him, didn’t let you follow up with the snarky remarks that could rival his own. something inside him was about to burst, something he couldn’t hold back anymore. he couldn’t handle the idea of losing you to anyone, couldn’t bear the thought that the feelings he had been harboring all of these years for you were in vain. 

and kunikuzushi wasn’t stupid. he wasn’t dumb. he’s seen the way you looked at him. there was no mistaking the affection in your gaze, the gentleness in your words (at least, when you weren’t butting heads), the tenderness of your touch, although rare.

you handled his heart with such care, like it was precious to you. 

“when are you going to finally pay attention to me!?” kunikuzushi exploded, his voice loud enough to scare the little birds perched atop the trees surrounding the school building. 

the sudden outburst had your eyes widen in shock, looking at him like he’s grown a second head. you were met with a look mirroring yours, shock written on your friend’s features like he hadn’t expected those words to tumble out of his mouth. the back of his hand came up to his face, covering the bottom half of it in an attempt to hide the shame that had his cheeks burn red.

yet he didn’t back away, didn’t let up. 

“what the hell, kuni!” you yelled back at him again, feeling embarrassment crawl up your neck as well. 

it was almost comical, the way the both of you were just yelling back and forth, as if the volume of your voices would ever be able to mask the vulnerability spilling out of the cracks of the useless walls you had built around yourselves. 

“do you… do you like me or somethin’?” you asked after a few beats of silence. 

kuni didn’t answer, simply blinking dumbly at you.

he opened his mouth, before closing it.

he tried again, but his voice didn’t come out, yet again.

instead, his eyebrows furrowed, the furious blush coloring his cheeks spreading all the way to his ears and down his neck.

cute. 

“shut the hell up,” he muttered, turning his back to you. and yet, despite his words, his hand slid down your wrist, fingers intertwined with yours, deciding that, maybe, you two should go home for today. 

you didn’t say anything back, following along, looking down at your hands, a little self-satisfied smile playing along your lips as you heard him whisper his answer to you, as if the quietness of his voice would prevent his feelings from reaching you. 

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

𝖪𝖠𝖹𝖴𝖧𝖠 | 𝖺𝗅𝗆𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌 >//< | 𝟣.𝟥𝗄 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌

you weren’t good at keeping secrets. 

not that you’d blurt them out at any given chance or that you’d spill your friends’ secrets when they weren’t around, no. you just happened to be an extremely open book, so easy to read with a simple glance. while you hated it, your friends thought it was a cute trait, how honest and how incapable of lying you were. 

you’d disagree with them if they weren’t so stubborn. 

you hated how you were never able to hide anything from your parents as a kid – and even now. how you couldn’t lie about not doing your homework to your teachers. and you especially despised how you couldn’t do anything about your feelings spilling out of you before you could utter a word out. 

it just so happened that kaedehara kazuha was especially perceptive. it just so happened that he was very much observant. and it just so happened that he found you particularly interesting to watch.

the first time you had piqued his interest was due to your clumsiness. 

you were running in the hallways while a member of the disciplinary committee yelled at you for doing that. but you couldn’t care less. you were late to your club activity and the president, albedo, had warned you enough times for you to fear for your life despite his usual kind behavior.

without noticing, you had bumped into kazuha, dropping a few art supplies as you did so. 

“oh my- i’m so sorry,” you had scrambled to apologize, awkwardly half-bowing, half-trying to get to the floor and pick up your tubes of paint and brushes. 

a simple chuckle had answered your apology before you realized who exactly you had bumped into in your hurriedness. and a simple look up had you meeting eyes with amused crimson ones, hand extended to hand you a brush. 

blinking a few times, you had cleared your throat before grabbing ahold of the supply, your fingertips tingling as they brushed against his, the heat of the graze traveling through your arm, crawling up your neck and nestling in the apples of your cheeks. 

kazuha had noticed how you couldn’t utter a single word out, eyes catching onto the way your lips parted in failed attempts to thank him before you closed them, deciding to focus your energy on collecting your items. he hadn’t commented on it, helping you and telling you to be careful before watching you leave, running in the hallway while keqing yelled behind you to not do that, once again, to kazuha’s amusement. 

safe to say albedo was not pleased with your late arrival. 

the second time he questioned his feelings, kazuha knew he was not so indifferent to you. 

that day, he had stolen the chance away from hu tao – who was torn between hating him for keeping you away from her, and feeling happy for you to finally get closer to your crush – to pair up with you, this time in home ec class. and for this class, you were making brownies.

given your skills in baking, and your love for it, you had taken it upon yourself to do most of the job. not that you hated it, really, quite the opposite. and kazuha, accepting his fate of washing dishes and preparing the dish for the batter, didn’t mind watching you do something that you were passionate about. 

you looked adorable, blabbering about random facts about how to make the perfect fudgy brownies, discarding the terrible recipe your teacher had given you (your words, not his). while he adored the shyness in the way you interacted with him – cruelly enough – he couldn’t help but prefer this more comfortable, carefree version of you. 

you weren’t as self-conscious in his presence, weren’t as fidgety. 

“want some?” you had interrupted his train of thoughts, extending a wooden spoon coated in chocolate. 

he accepted it with a smile, noting the little stain on the side of your mouth. noting the trace your lips had left on the utensil. noting how realization slowly morphed on your face as his own lips wrapped around the chocolate-coated spoon. 

the remainder of the class, the way you’d keep some distance between the both of you wasn’t lost on him. nor was the way you’d shift on your feet, unable to stand still. or how you couldn’t meet his eyes. 

and kazuha wasn’t sure which version he preferred anymore. 

the third time, kazuha wished he wasn’t such a coward. 

befriending you wasn’t the hard part. going up to you in class whenever the teachers would require you to form groups, to your absolute bewilderment and friends’ surprise. or finding excuses to talk to you. pairing up with you during P.E class before hu tao could even think of getting with you. 

you didn’t mind, not at all. he was easy to talk to, carrying conversations most of the time and recounting stories of his travels, no thanks to his very adventurous adoptive mother, beidou. and while you prided yourself in knowing a lot about him, it was to your great surprise that you discovered how he’d take the same subway as you. 

which wasn’t true, he’d started taking it only to spend more time with you, although it was a longer way back home.

but you didn’t need to know that.

on a particularly busy evening, the both of you found yourself at the back of the train, your back against the cold surface while kazuha was holding onto the metal bar next to your head for dear life. the constant push, push, push, of the people behind him had led you both to your current predicament. 

you hadn’t dared look up for too long, eyes suddenly finding the tie of his uniform very much interesting. 

red, like his eyes, that were boring into you. like the color of embarrassment spreading all the way to your ears. 

your eyes followed the fabric up to the collar of his white shirt. up to the way his throat bobbed, nervous. up to meet his eyes and find him already staring back at you. you had noted the quiet intensity behind them, the slight nervousness in his chuckle, the pink hue his ears had taken, hidden behind strands of platinum.

but before you could allow yourself to even fantasize about your feelings being reciprocated, a strong shove from behind him had him fumble to find some support, his hand crashing beside your head, your face shooting up only to find his a bare inch away from yours. 

time came to a stop for a second. a shaky breath spilled past your parted mouth. you felt the brush of his lips against the edge of yours. whether he did it on purpose or not, you didn’t have the functioning brain cells to figure out anyway. 

kazuha could swear he felt the flutter of your lashes against his burning skin as you looked at him and away and at him and away and he was so tempted to just cup your face and keep you still. but he didn’t do none of that. he didn’t let the moment linger for more than necessary before he found support on his legs, standing straight once again. 

as if on cue, the train emptied out a bit, allowing him to take a few steps back. his fingers found his tie, pulling it down, weirdly unable to breathe comfortably despite the space left by the leaving passengers. 

“sorry about that,” he apologized, offering you a kind smile.

you didn’t answer, weren’t able to. if you so much as opened your mouth, you’d just tell him about how you wished he hadn’t stepped away, regardless of the public setting you were in. you’d just spill out how you wished he had taken the leap. 

and for once, kazuha was too busy simmering in his own mortification to notice the dejected look on your face. 

© mimi-sunny — all rights reserved

the moment you had met, he knew he was a doomed man – partly because of the curse your past-life-self had forced onto him but that wasn’t important right now. 

sylus was never wrong. and even if he happened to be, no one would ever dare point it out. and he wouldn’t even apologize – how could he when no one dared to hold him accountable in the first place?

well, no one but you. and he had found himself in quite a predicament. 

he knew better than to blame your sour mood on your period but it might just be the case, judging by how agitated you were when you couldn’t reach the stupid pads at the top of his stupidly high shelves. it got even worse when you ran out of your favorite cookies and brownies. barely any sanity of yours was spared when your favorite tube of ice cream was found ravaged by the twins and you reached your last straw when sylus offered you to maybe you should sit and calm down sweetie. 

“calm down?” you asked in a chilling tone.

luke and kieran had escaped the scene, running out of the mansion with ‘grocery shopping’ as their sole excuse. 

“do i look angry to you?” you went on, raising an eyebrow. 

sylus was an imposing man. he feared nothing and everything feared him. none ever dared to get on his way or provoke the slightest reaction out of him in fear of having his anger strike down in the shape of reddish, dark swirls strangling the light out of their eyes. 

he almost looked pitiful right now, the subject of your wrath. it was laughable. except you weren’t amused. 

“of course not, my love,” he shook his head, not wanting to upset you any further – although you claimed not to be upset. 

your lips twitched at the pet name but you refused to cave in. you turned your back to your husband, refusing to utter any word to him anymore. you just wanted a sweet treat and a long nap, maybe that’ll help with your cranky mood. 

but sylus saw his entire world shatter at this instant, watching you giving him the cold shoulder. his poor heart broke into thousands of pieces and he found himself a bit helpless at the second. he wasn’t used to this, really. taking accountability, dealing with people’s emotions. 

everything was so new and while he seemed to carry on with your relationship oh so easily, until you got married. he was still ridiculously helpless when you gave him the silent treatment. it was pathetic in a way that you found sick enjoyment in. and sylus did suspect that you loved him grovelling and begging, but that knowledge – while it made him smug – still didn’t help his shattered heart at the moment. 

“no, no,” he muttered, shaking his head, following suit behind you. he grabbed onto your shoulder, turning you around with his hands cupping your face tenderly despite his frantic movements. 

God, he was so sweet, you almost felt bad. almost. 

“don’t ignore me, sweetheart,” he breathed out and when he pressed a kiss to your forehead he was so grateful you even allowed him to be this close to you when you were probably bubbling with rage. 

you weren’t. in fact, you were so entertained it was getting harder and harder for you to keep a straight face.

but sylus, ever the perceptive man, somehow didn’t notice your clear amusement, too desperate to have you forgive him. 

so desperate you couldn't help the sudden gasp that slipped past your lips when he suddenly dropped to his knees, grabbing onto your hand and pressing it to his cheek. he looked up at you, eyes wide and full of guilt. 

you were conflicted, really. one the one hand, it was pretty attractive, the way he tossed everything he was just to earn your approval and your forgiveness. on the other hand, you felt terribly bad for pushing your little play so far. 

“if it’s about the cookies and brownies, i’ll buy you a lifetime stock of them,” he rambled, pressing a kiss to your palm, his other hand caressing your thigh up and down in what he hoped to be a soothing manner. “i’ll scold the twins and have them buy you ice cream every day,” he added and you cracked a smile at that, unable to keep your act up. 

“oh, sylus,” you chuckled, kneeling down in front of him and wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. “you’re so stupid, i love you,” you giggled gleefully and he would gladly turn into a jester if it meant bringing the sunshine back to your expression. 

he was so gone, truly. 

“i love you too,” he huffed out a laugh, all his nerves finally easing down, finding peace in your comfort. 

“you’re kinda hot when you beg, though,” you noted a couple of hours later, leaning against his sturdy chest while downing spoonful after spoonful of chocolate ice cream. 

“ah, i should’ve known you would find enjoyment in my distress,” sylus teased back, his fingers gently pinching your cheeks in disapproval.

© mimi-sunny — all rights reserved

you’d reserve your mornings to sprawl under the sun, covered in sunscreen and praying you won’t get burnt by the bright rays. 

your noons would be spent filling your stomach with the local specialties, sitting in complete silence as you exchange approving looks and eager nods at the flavors exploding in your mouth. 

and your afternoons were your time to explore different itineraries you had prepared months in advance before spending the night at izakayas or fancier dining places. 

and today was no different. yuki’s obnoxiously loud alarm pulled you from your sleep, groaning as you rubbed your eyes and rolled off your comfortable hotel bed, yelping as you landed butt-first on the hardwood floor. 

with a few days left on your trip, you were already mourning the peaceful days you’d spend on the beach and the tranquil nights during which you’d walk under the moonlight, taking countless detours before finally reaching your hotel room in hopes of making the day last longer. 

you could so easily imagine yourself dragging your feet back to your endless office job, typing away on your keyboard with boredom painted on your features while your boss would whine about unmet deadlines – although everyone knew it was his fault.

what you hadn’t imagined though, was the tall, looming shadow disrupting your tanning time.

with a sigh, you pushed your sunglasses down your nose, squinting a bit as you looked up at whoever the hell had the audacity to bother you so early in the morning.

you were met with the brightest person you’ve ever laid your eyes on.

literally. 

platinum – hell, that was just pure white – hair strands were pushed away from his face by a large hand, his skin way too pale to not catch a sunburn under the scorching sun. he was sporting a hawaiian shirt, the buttons deliberately undone to reveal toned muscles. 

he followed your gesture, pulling his glasses down, revealing eyes brighter than your miserable future. 

he was pretty, you noted, taking in his soft yet striking features, the annoyingly attractive smirk painted on his lips, the porcelain expanse of his skin. 

“can i help you?” you asked, propping yourself on your elbows. 

you barely noticed the other man standing a few feet away from him, pinching the bridge of his nose as if he was embarrassed to even be around him. 

“yeah, actually,” the man standing next to your sunlounger answered. 

you decided that you didn’t like him, regardless of how attractive he was. the confidence that coated each word, bordering on arrogance. the low timbre of his voice, as if he was aware of what effect he’d have on most people around him. 

“you could start by giving me your number,” he added, his smirk widening into a cocky smile. 

slowly, you turned your head towards yuki, who was laying next to you, catching how she’d slapped a hand onto her mouth as if to stop herself from bursting into a loud fit of laughter. 

disbelief was written on your face as you twisted your head to look at him again, lips parted in incredulity. 

you weren’t sure how you were supposed to react, really. whether to laugh in his pretentious face, flip him off or simply ignore him in hopes that he’d leave you alone. 

decisions, decisions. 

suddenly, a lightbulb lit over your head, sitting up properly this time. 

“sure,” you replied, offering him a small smile. 

you observed how his self-important smile morphed into a victorious one, hands reaching towards the pockets of his shorts to pull out his phone. before he even had the chance to open the contact app, you spoke up again : 

“ten push-ups for each digit,” you stated your condition, batting your lashes innocently at him. 

and nothing felt as good as watching his face fall and his smile fade, clearly not expecting any of that. sure, it didn’t last long, but it was enough to lift your spirits after having your pleasant time interrupted so rudely. 

yuki, who had been watching the entire exchange, was unable to hold back her laugh this time, nearly folding over at your ridiculous statement. neither could the man’s friends behind him, the black-haired man hiding his snicker behind his hand while the brunette woman jeered at him. 

yet he didn’t relent, didn’t even give up. he put his phone back in his pocket, mumbling something that sounded like yeah okay, alright, before lowering himself down to the ground. 

you blinked once. twice. a third time. 

see, given the overly confident impression you’d gotten from him, you hadn’t expected him to even consider complying to your stupid little joke. 

and yet. 

“surface’s a bit unstable,” he muttered, although he didn’t look so bothered as he executed the first set of push ups for the first digit.  

it was only at the third set that he’d started feeling the burn in his muscles and the strain in his arms. yuki was doing her homework, recording the entire scene, the groans spilling past his lips and the breathless chuckles he’d let out, as if he couldn’t believe the predicament he was in. immortalizing the way the muscles of his forearms and biceps flexed with every effort, how he’d pause in between sets while maintaining a perfect posture, letting out a shaky breath before continuing on. 

and you observed all of that, sunglasses now in your hands, barely registering what was happening. 

not that you minded the view, though. 

something like smugness curled in your chest, barely believing that a total stranger was trying so hard to land a chance with you because what? he thought you were pretty and that was enough for him to go to such lengths? 

nevermind the reason, you enjoyed the show he was putting on, and the way he sat on his knees when he was done with all of the sets, chest heaving up and down as a smile stretched across his face, turning to look at you like an eager puppy looking for approval. 

you threw a look to your friend before the both of you grabbed a hold of your towels and items, standing up from your comfortable seats. wrapping your sarong around your hips, you turned your head around, taking a few seconds to look him up and down. 

swiftly, you fished your lipstick out of your cute mini beach bag, uncapping it while crouching next to his kneeling form. his hands were oddly cold, you thought, grabbing ahold of the right one, your lipstick smudging a bit under the heat as you wrote two digits on his pale skin. 

“you did well,” you praised him, although you sounded anything but impressed. 

gojo watched as you stood up again, his skin practically burning where you had touched him. he didn’t find it in him to move, couldn’t trust his legs to handle his weight. 

“try again next time,” you told him, faux-sympathy dripping from each syllable, offering him a wink as a consolation prize. 

and gojo wished for tomorrow to come faster.

© mimi-sunny — all rights reserved

the notion of fate was uncomfortable. knowing that his life was taking turns he barely had any control over and that even the choices he makes have been written in stone long before he even came to life – awful mistake his mother committed, by the way. 

he had always longed for freedom. always wanted to grow his own wings and disappear in skies his mother could never reach. that none of his acquaintances could ever dream of ascending to. 

maybe, that was why he had so foolishly fallen for her. 

it was so easy, falling in love with her. like a slope he was going down on, growing steeper and steeper the closer he would get to her. 

the first time scaramouche had ever thought of fate with no disdain at the back of his mind was when he had gotten out of a coffee shop he was a regular at. 

getting his coffee was a normal part of his routine, and so was walking down the street on the way to the tattoo shop he worked at. 

bumping into strangers that were blindly skipping to a song playing loudly from their headphones and spilling his beloved beverage all over them, however, was not part of his day-to-day life. 

he didn’t even find it in him to curse the girl out, standing still at the apologetic smile she was offering him and stupidly handing her over a pack of tissues he had found in his bag. 

and when she jokingly asked for his number before considering forgiving him when he apologized in return, he found himself unable to laugh along. he had simply stared at the brightness of her smile, imprinted the sweetness of her laughter into his brain and wished he could record it so he could hear it over and over again. 

and so his number did find its way into her phone. 

scaramouche didn’t know how he ended up in the whirlwind of her life. 

she didn’t take long before confessing to a lot of her heartaches. a couple of weeks in, and he was already growing a sense of attachment to her, unfamiliar yet surprisingly not as terrifying as he had imagined it’d be. a couple of months after, and he was growing a feeling of hatred towards her parents and friends and an even stronger sense of protectiveness towards her. 

he didn’t know everything, of course he didn’t. but he knew what the bruises on the inner side of her elbows were and he knew what the bandages around her arms and thighs were for. 

she liked that he never questioned it. she liked that he didn’t look into her stuff and didn’t try to take away her last thread of sanity away from her. and she liked him. 

“you’re pretty and you let me do what i want,” she had simply told him when he asked her why. a giggle slipped past her lips and that was enough for him to press his lips to hers, tasting the remnants of beer on her tongue as they melted into each other at the back of his car. 

the warning signs were glowing at the back of scaramouche’s head, but he didn’t find it in him to put a stop to her descent. he didn’t want to be another controlling figure in her life but he didn’t want to let her go so easily. 

and the fear paralyzed him. he didn’t mind the blood at the bruises, didn’t mind caring for her and uplifting her when she needed it the most, spending most of his nights by her side in fear of not finding her knocking obnoxiously loud on the door of his apartment the next morning. 

it tore his heart apart, really, the crying and the begging and the spiraling. 

it wasn’t like she never tried. she made an effort. a noticeable one. but she was so fragile, so breakable, it only took a little push for her to fall into her past patterns again and he was left picking up the pieces and mending her back again, praying this time would be the right one. 

it had never been. 

running into the hospital has become an oddly common thing for scaramouche, crouching on the bedside and holding her hand tightly into his own while he prayed for something. anything. 

granting her wishes had become his routine as well, folding to her demands and handing over her dreams on a silver platter with ease – hell, a golden one even. he’d do anything to bring back the brightness he had fallen for in the first place, his gaze softening as he watched her from a distance. 

“i’ve always seen this in movies,” she had confessed, out of breath from running around the flower field, letting herself fall on her back, her head resting next to his as he closely studied her. 

she looked carefree, for once. like all her worries and torments had melted under the setting sun.

“always wanted to run around flowers,” she laughed breathlessly, turning to look back at him. 

scaramouche had smiled at her, sitting up so he could pick a flower and put it in her hair. 

“you look pretty,” he told her, finger tracing each of her features. etching them into his memory. and it was almost as if she could read his mind, as if she could tell he was trying to engrave everything about her fleeting existence before she would eventually disappear from his own. 

“i don’t wanna become a hot topic when i’m gone.”

when. 

scaramouche always knew her choice was definitive and that he couldn’t do anything about it. but he couldn’t help the fear and the tears and the inability to imagine a world without her. he couldn’t figure out how he’d come to live once she wasn’t there anymore. she hadn’t been in his life for long yet he couldn’t go on in a world void of her. 

“you’re selfish!” she yelled at him, crystal drops spilling down her face furiously. 

grabbing the closest thing to her, she threw it at him in a fit, followed by another. and another. 

“you’re just like the rest of them,” a sob tore from her throat, the glass in her hand shattering on the floor as she let go of it. 

a small sigh was the only response scaramouche had given her, taking a hold of her wrist and pulling her into his chest. his face buried in her hair, he rocked the both of them back and forth, his throat constricted with words he knew would only enrage her more. 

so he remained quiet, shushing her sobs and cries, hoping that maybe, just maybe, if his arms tightened a little, if his cold body could warm her aching soul a tiny bit, then she would stop fading away from him. 

“i just want you to stay with me,” he finally confessed, his hands gently holding onto her shoulders, eyes searching for hers. “i know it’s selfish, but y’know i can’t just lose you, yeah?”

at the pout forming on her lips, he could only smile fondly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before drawing her into him again, hands running up and down her back. 

“you won’t let me die, right?” she had asked him, unable to fall asleep, laying in each other’s arms. she didn’t really let him answer, humming under her breath before continuing : “you can’t let me go. please?” and scaramouche caved in, again, the hold he had on her almost suffocating until the next morning. 

and she got better. she did. for some time, that is, but there was hope growing in scaramouche. 

her syringes were gone and her pillies were forgotten at the back of her cabinets. he didn’t find himself examining how deep and how concerning her injuries were for a while and, God, was she blindingly bright now. 

walking ahead of him as they found themselves near a beach on their impromptu road trip, hands in his pockets while she ran on the sand, screaming when the water creeped too close and twirling to whatever music was playing in her head. 

“feels like you’re healin’ my inner child or somethin’,” she giggled in between bites, squealing happily as he fed her more barbecued meat. 

“don’t talk with your mouth full,” scaramouche had scolded but he couldn’t deny the warmth engulfing his heart. he was doing something right. whatever the hell it was, it was working. and he hoped it’d remain this way forever. 

it was short-lived. 

back from their road trip, she found herself in trouble with her parents. and he found himself patching up her forearms and wrists and failing to hide away her little bottles. 

and while he had gotten used to the mess of her life, it had never felt so decisive. so… final. like her decision was made. like she was following a detailed plan. no amount of begging and fighting her over this would ever work anymore. and for the first time ever since he had gotten wrapped up into this whole thing, scaramouche was feeling hopeless. there was no escape route, no exit door. 

“oh baby,” she had cooed, finding him biting harshly on his bottom lip while scalding tears ran down his cheeks, gripping onto the kitchen counter so tightly. “‘m really sorry,” she whispered, hands holding onto his face adoringly. it was so cruel of her, he found himself thinking, letting a first sob fall past his lips. with a tender smile, she wiped the traces of his sorrow away with her thumb. so loving and sweet. 

he hated her for it. 

“y’know i can’t do this,” she murmured into his hair, holding him to her chest as his nails dug into her t-shirt and skin. because maybe, just maybe, if he carved himself into her, if he merged their beings together, then she’d never find a way to dig a chasm between them both. “y’know i can’t stay.”

not even for me? how can you leave me here? y’know i can’t do this without you. 

but that would be heartless of him. so scaramouche didn’t say that. he simply lifted his head to look into her eyes, finding nothing but endless love in them. 

yet it wasn’t unconditional, and that was probably more painful than anything else. 

“at least make it through tonight?” he pleaded weakly, his voice shattered and shaky. 

“promise.” 

the next morning, scaramouche woke up to a cold bed, a note, and a hole in his heart.

she didn’t even leave much. just a small i love you, a badly drawn heart and a cup of coffee, way too sweet for his liking. 

and him. 

she left him navigating his life blindly, like his only source of light had been taken away from him. he couldn’t see ahead of him, couldn’t perceive anything around him. he didn’t even find it in him to hate her for breaking such a hastily made promise. 

“you’ve always been a liar,” he told her, gently settling a bouquet of chrysanthemums in front of her. sitting on the grass cross-legged, he huffed fondly at all the times he would catch her red-handed, twisting the truth to her favor and burning in shame when he’d narrow his eyes suspiciously at her. 

“didn’t think you could be so good at it, though,” scaramouche sighed, tracing the petals in his hand. he scooted over next to her, leaning his back onto the large tree trunk behind them, barely able to make out the colors of the endless flowers blooming ahead of them, the moonlight not doing much to help him out. 

“hope you like this place, i picked it out for you,” he chuckled, leaning his head onto the freezing stone sitting by his side. and he wished that this time, when sleep takes him away, it’d never let him go. 

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