#milso support

When I'm on the phone with you, there is so much I don't say.

I say it but you don't hear it.

It's not that you're not listening, I know you adore me and can't wait to next see my face.

It's that I don't quite say it, but part of me still expects you to understand.

So here is a glossary of all my words translated for you:

Hello.

How I start every phone call. This means "tell me you're ok right now or I'll come immediately to you and look after you".

I miss you.

My heart is lost. It's so used to pointing itself in your direction that when you're not here...

It's like...

It doesn't know what to do.

What am I supposed to feel without you there to hold my hand through it.

Do you need to go now?

Please don't go.

I know you need to but sometimes all I need is five more minutes of your voice to make the next 5 hours in bed a little more comfortable.

I love you.

I could not love you more yet somehow every single second I fall further for you.

Goodnight.

I promise to tell you that to your face someday as we cuddle down in our bed, at the end of a long day, and help you feel safe.

I said I was gonna do updates throughout this process, but unfortunately there isn’t much to report from my end. For those who don’t know, SFAS stands for Special Forces Assessment and Selection, which is what my boyfriend is currently participating in. In layman’s terms it’s basically like ‘trying out’ for Special Forces. Of course, SF is a very elite group and they want the best of the best. From my understanding, SFAS consists of various assessments/tests, all of which are mentally/physically intense and extremely challenging. In this way, they aim to ‘weed out’ participants, and at any point you cannot complete a task successfully/to their standard, you are considered to have failed selection.

My bf told me that if he failed within the first few days of selection, he would be sent home (aka back to his base) on the 4th or so day. If not, however, they will keep you on hand to complete various details/jobs while the other participants carry on with the process. He said if he made it past the first few days, but failed one of the events after that, he would probably be sent home within two weeks. 

I’m not quite sure what the next steps are if you manage to pass all of the events and get selected, but if my bf is able to do that I will definitely make a post about it. Unfortunately, the fail rate for SFAS is high, and before leaving he was doubtful that he would make it very far. Regardless, it’s an honor to even have the opportunity to participate in SFAS, and I’m sure he will have many stories to tell from it. I’m super proud of him no matter what happens ❤️