#milso problems

Some moments, you will not be doing it for the reasons people think you should be doing it for.

Some moments…you will do it because you don’t have another choice. Your only option is to do it, is to get through it. Sometimes that simply means living and breathing through it. That is real. That is the truth. While there are deeper causes I do what I do, sometimes, this is real life. Yes, I love my country and I believe in what he does with my heart. I love my country so much I give my husband to it every single day. Oh, what is it I do?

Exactly that. I give my husband up to our country every single day that he is gone. I give up my person through my bad days, my really bad days and even more painfully- my good days. I may share those good days with people I love, but I always feel the blatant space missing in my life. I may laugh but feel a tinge of sadness because there is something missing. I give up the person to help me with daily responsibilities- suddenly I do the bills, the chores, the shopping on my own. I pick out presents for occasions and sign both our names on the card. I run to the store for my own medicine while Im sick. I drag myself out of bed to make my own soup. I give up holidays, birthdays and days off that could be spent together. Above all, I give up my best friend- my partner in life… my hand to hold, my hug on a bad day, my kiss good morning, a warm bed and shoulder to cry on. 

Watch all the military homecoming videos you want. Share a link on facebook with a heartwarming picture about supporting our troops. Tell a military spouse “it’ll be over before you know it” just know that to them, sometimes a second feels like hours. Tell them, “I would love a break from my husband”, “that’s not that long”, “yeah, I only get to see my boyfriend once a week”, “at least you get to talk sometimes”,  or “but it makes your love story so cute.” Understand while you say those things that spouse would do anything for five minutes with their husband or wife and do whatever it took to make those five minutes as wonderful as possible. Understand that this is the furthest thing from cute she can imagine. (Unless everyone thinks that crying yourself to sleep every night is cute). Understand that wife is doing everything to keep it together while comments are made left and right, jokes are made about how she’s “run her husband off again”. She does her best to laugh along with everyone, feeling understood and forgotten. Someone in the military could benefit most by you doing something that most people rarely think of- showing love to their husband or wife at home. When they are able to talk, they talk to their spouse…how much more supported and loved do you think they feel when they know their spouse at home is supported and loved? When she is able to make it through a short phone call without bursting into tears at the end? How much more will he succeed when he knows she has had a day in which people have come around and loved his wife? How much more focus and drive will he have? 

Might be letting down my proud Navy-veteran Grandpa, but I think I’ve got a pretty good excuse to switch allegiances this year ;)

post deployment:

-readjustment has been so hard, and has kind of taken a toll on our relationship in that we aren't completely back to our fun loving selves we were before deployment

-I went through a really tough time during deployment & felt immense isolation and loneliness & that took a toll of its own on myself & therefore our relationship

everyday military stresses:

- I'm constantly trying to absorb whatever stress and bullshit my husband is going through at his job, and its hard to juggle that with my own life stresses

-I hate not being able to control major aspects of my own life due to his job, as well as not being able to control what his shop is putting him through daily