#mighty putty

Wine Spectator

We sat down with Billy Mays III, son of the pitchman legend, to learn just what life was like living with a father who cranked the volume on capitalism all the way up to 11.

5 Surprising Things You Learn as the Son of Billy Mays

#5. We Actually Used Everything We Marketed As Billy Mays' kid, I was literally swimming in cleaning supplies. I could spill wine just for the hell of it -- my dad was the spokesman for OxiClean. All we had to do was mention that we were low, and a truckload would be on its way the next day. My family never abused this sacred trust, of course. I shouldn't have said "literally" earlier. I completely deny rumors of our OxiClean swimming pool. People would see my dad around and jokingly ask us for OxiClean, his most famous product. Little did they know that, if he didn't have any with him, he would take fans to the store and buy them OxiClean. It was a shockingly common occurrence. People would ask "Does Mighty Putty really work?" and my dad would just reach in a bag, give them some, and then say "You tell me!"

Toaster's broken? Now it's fixed.

You: HI, BILLY MAYS HERE.

Stranger: Hey

Stranger: lawl

You: ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE REMOVING THOSE BLOOD STAINS?

You: THEN GET OXI CLEAN.

Stranger: Yea

You: IT BRIGHTENS WHITES

You: AND REMOVES THOSE NASTY STAINS

Stranger: Really now?

Stranger: Woah

You: YES, IT'S ONLY 19.98$.

Stranger: Where can I find such a thing!?

You: AT YOUR LOCAL WALLMART IN THE CLEAN SECTION

You: BUT WAIT

You: THATS NOT ALL

You: YOU CAN GET ORANGE GLOW

Stranger: :O

You: TO REMOVE THOSE BLOOD STAINS OFF THE FLOORS

Stranger: Weeeh

You: ONLY 17.95$

You: BUT WAIT THERES EVEN MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE

You: YOU CAN GET MIGHTY PUTTY