LITERARY: In many other universes, just not ours
To the one who kept me company while I was pining over someone else:
Hi! It really hasnāt been a while since we last talked, so this will be weird... but I figured, before I run out of time, Iād go ahead and write to you.
Maybe Iāll just be reopening scars, but you wonāt be reading this anyway. Or, I could say that even if you do read this, you wonāt know itās for you. Iām safeā¦ I think. I just really want to get this off my chest.
During the times you kept me company, staying awake to talk to me for who knows what reason, listening to all my troubles (and me listening to yours), caring for me, asking how I am, escaping time, and, most definitely, sleepāduring all those times, I appreciated you. I still do, until now, even if you donāt particularly do those things anymore. Iām still grateful for them. I never questioned them one bit, ācause weāre friends, after all.
Then I realized you were secretly hoping for us to become something moreāand I couldnāt give you that.
Those times you kept me company were also times that you spent having to stay awake for someone who wished a different person stayed awake for them. Those times were also the times you had to listen to them gush over another person, care for another person, talk about another personā¦ A person who you wished was you instead.
Iām sorry for hurting you. Had I pushed you away, it wouldāve hurt less. But, like me, you didnāt want that, either. Weāre friends, after all. To sacrifice friendship over feelings was to sacrifice a good one. Thatās why you let the feelings rot instead.
But maybe, in a parallel universe, we wouldāve been something more. Maybe I wouldāve liked you. Maybe there wouldnāt have been another person. Maybe it wouldnātāve been too late. Maybe just then, you wouldnāt have wasted your time wishing for something I couldnāt give you.
Though, weāre happy now. Content, actually. Weāre still friends, and youāve moved on, so thereās no need for all the what-ifs of my curiosity.
I would prefer those what-ifs to happen there, in many other universes, just not ours.
āI bet youāll agree with me on that.
