Late Nights
Word count: 1,257
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βDo you think a pumpkin is a vegetable because it has seeds?β Michael asks and I look over at him. βIt has to be a squash. Iβm 89% sure.β I tell him and he giggles. βOnly 89%?β He asks and I nod.
βI mean Iβm not a pumpkin expert.β I laugh and he grabs my hand. βYeah, but youβre the smartest person I know.β He admits and I smile widely. βThanks, babe.β I grin.
We sit in silence again, the 1975 playing in the background while we stare up at the ceiling. Occasionally I find myself looking over to the side, I study the way his hair was curling over the pillows. His eyes would close for a few moments and I could imagine wheels turning in his head, then heβd smile for a few moments. Iβd turn my head back to ensure that he didnβt catch me staring.
βDo you believe in soulmates?β I ask and he sits up a little, peaking over at me. βWhat do you mean?β He asks and I turn on my side to face him. βLike pure soulmates. Do you believe in it?β I ask again and he sighs a little.
βIβm not sure if soulmates is an appropriate word, but I believe in us.β He says and I nod.
βI get that and I agree with you. I think itβs because Iβve been in love before and so have you. It was one of those things where it was a love that taught instead of destroyed. I thought we were soulmates but it turns out we werenβt, I just think soulmates are a preconceived belief that we need to have one person to tie love to. I love you and I think people just assume that because youβre dating that you donβt have different interests. People think that soulmates are just meant to be and will have everything lined up. Sometimes, we just donβt.β I rant and he smiles softly, he brushes some hair out of my face.
βYeah, I understand what you mean. I think itβs just a word people use to try to force a relationship. I donβt think weβre soulmates. I think we are a coincidence. We werenβt just destined to meet, I literally bumped into you as I came out of the bathroom while I was drunk. I had been throwing up and you were asking if I was okay. I didnβt know that you were a nurse at the time. We never saw each other again, well until I had the flu 2 weeks later and I went to an urgent care. You were the person taking my temperature and I knew I had seen you somewhere. You shrugged and just blew it off. Then, I saw you a few nights later at a restaurant and it all clicked. I knew exactly where I had seen you both times. I mean people just donβt run into each other 3 times.β He says and I shrug.
βI mean weβre in the same part of LA, we were bound to meet sometime,β I state and he nods. We both go back to looking at the ceiling and I hear him sigh loudly and I bring my eyes back to him. βWhatβs wrong?β I ask and he shrugs.
βI donβt know, Iβm just thinking and itβs so stupid.β He says and I prop myself up, basically, both of my hands were on both sides of his waist. βYou can say it, babe, it canβt be stupid,β I say and kiss his exposed chest lightly.
βWhat if you fall out of love with me? Iβve experienced it and had been someone who was on the receiving side of that. I just realized that this is the first time Iβve really decided I donβt want to lose a relationship.β He admits and I scrunch my eyebrows up.
βWhat would make you believe that I would fall out of love?β I ask and he looks back up to the ceiling. βI just donβt think itβs something that youβll see for yourself right now. I just know that sometimes we wake up and realize weβre not in love. It doesnβt just hit all of a sudden, itβll be really subtle. You wonβt want to talk at 3 am because the conversation is too boring. You realize that you donβt need to wait around for me when I go on tour. Saying βI love youβ will just be to spare the awkwardness. You wonβt feel the same when you look at me or when you kiss me. I guess itβs just a messed up way of thinking, ignore me.β He tries to push it off and I run my hand along his stubble.
βI think you have a valid point. I know that itβs a big and scary way to see the end of a relationship. Itβs harder than a fight that leads to a breakup, a cheating scandal, and maybe even just a plain fuck buddy situation. I just want to live in the now, I want to just be here with you and not worry about the future. I canβt promise you what Iβll feel in 5 months, but I can promise you right now that I have butterflies in my stomach. I want to hug you or be held by you, I want to keep talking about why a pumpkin may be squash or if fish have feelings. I want to go eat cookie dough ice cream with you and low key dance in the kitchen with just a big shirt on and slippery socks. I want to kiss you all over your pretty little face and make sure you know how much I love you. I wanna listen to the 1975 with you every day or night, as long as youβre there.β I proclaim and I see his eyes get glassy.
βYou mean that?β He asks and I nod. βAll of it. I canβt be the one to tell you if we are soulmates or a coincidence. I canβt tell you if I will ever fall out of love with you, but I can promise you that I want to spend any moment with you starting all over again every day.β I play with the small curls.
He moves his hand to my neck and brings my face closer to his. His hands were cold compared to my neck and I found myself having goosebumps. He hadnβt connected our lips yet and I was becoming impatient under his stare. His eyes searched mine quickly and then he finally connected our lips, I move my body forward to be closer to his face.
I pressed most of my weight on him and he moved his other hand to keep my neck still. He ran his tongue over my lips and I slowly allowed him an entrance, he was groaning slightly as I ran my hands down his shoulders. I pull away before it became anything else. His pink lips were now swollen, I could still taste the peppermint off of him. He pushes more hair behind my ear and I smile down at him. βI love you.β He says and I bite my lip slightly. βGood, because I love you too,β I say and peck his lips lightly again.
βDo you think fish have feelings?β He asks and I laugh a little. βI donβt know honestly. Do we have any ice cream?β I ask and he nods. We both give each other a look before we both jolt off of the bed.
This... this is what Iβve been looking for.
