#michaelcliffordmasterlist

Word count: 1,257

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“Do you think a pumpkin is a vegetable because it has seeds?” Michael asks and I look over at him. “It has to be a squash. I’m 89% sure.” I tell him and he giggles. “Only 89%?” He asks and I nod.

“I mean I’m not a pumpkin expert.” I laugh and he grabs my hand. “Yeah, but you’re the smartest person I know.” He admits and I smile widely. “Thanks, babe.” I grin.

We sit in silence again, the 1975 playing in the background while we stare up at the ceiling. Occasionally I find myself looking over to the side, I study the way his hair was curling over the pillows. His eyes would close for a few moments and I could imagine wheels turning in his head, then he’d smile for a few moments. I’d turn my head back to ensure that he didn’t catch me staring.

“Do you believe in soulmates?” I ask and he sits up a little, peaking over at me. “What do you mean?” He asks and I turn on my side to face him. “Like pure soulmates. Do you believe in it?” I ask again and he sighs a little.

“I’m not sure if soulmates is an appropriate word, but I believe in us.” He says and I nod.

“I get that and I agree with you. I think it’s because I’ve been in love before and so have you. It was one of those things where it was a love that taught instead of destroyed. I thought we were soulmates but it turns out we weren’t, I just think soulmates are a preconceived belief that we need to have one person to tie love to. I love you and I think people just assume that because you’re dating that you don’t have different interests. People think that soulmates are just meant to be and will have everything lined up. Sometimes, we just don’t.” I rant and he smiles softly, he brushes some hair out of my face.

“Yeah, I understand what you mean. I think it’s just a word people use to try to force a relationship. I don’t think we’re soulmates. I think we are a coincidence. We weren’t just destined to meet, I literally bumped into you as I came out of the bathroom while I was drunk. I had been throwing up and you were asking if I was okay. I didn’t know that you were a nurse at the time. We never saw each other again, well until I had the flu 2 weeks later and I went to an urgent care. You were the person taking my temperature and I knew I had seen you somewhere. You shrugged and just blew it off. Then, I saw you a few nights later at a restaurant and it all clicked. I knew exactly where I had seen you both times. I mean people just don’t run into each other 3 times.” He says and I shrug.

“I mean we’re in the same part of LA, we were bound to meet sometime,” I state and he nods. We both go back to looking at the ceiling and I hear him sigh loudly and I bring my eyes back to him. “What’s wrong?” I ask and he shrugs.

“I don’t know, I’m just thinking and it’s so stupid.” He says and I prop myself up, basically, both of my hands were on both sides of his waist. “You can say it, babe, it can’t be stupid,” I say and kiss his exposed chest lightly.

“What if you fall out of love with me? I’ve experienced it and had been someone who was on the receiving side of that. I just realized that this is the first time I’ve really decided I don’t want to lose a relationship.” He admits and I scrunch my eyebrows up.

“What would make you believe that I would fall out of love?” I ask and he looks back up to the ceiling. “I just don’t think it’s something that you’ll see for yourself right now. I just know that sometimes we wake up and realize we’re not in love. It doesn’t just hit all of a sudden, it’ll be really subtle. You won’t want to talk at 3 am because the conversation is too boring. You realize that you don’t need to wait around for me when I go on tour. Saying ‘I love you’ will just be to spare the awkwardness. You won’t feel the same when you look at me or when you kiss me. I guess it’s just a messed up way of thinking, ignore me.” He tries to push it off and I run my hand along his stubble.

“I think you have a valid point. I know that it’s a big and scary way to see the end of a relationship. It’s harder than a fight that leads to a breakup, a cheating scandal, and maybe even just a plain fuck buddy situation. I just want to live in the now, I want to just be here with you and not worry about the future. I can’t promise you what I’ll feel in 5 months, but I can promise you right now that I have butterflies in my stomach. I want to hug you or be held by you, I want to keep talking about why a pumpkin may be squash or if fish have feelings. I want to go eat cookie dough ice cream with you and low key dance in the kitchen with just a big shirt on and slippery socks. I want to kiss you all over your pretty little face and make sure you know how much I love you. I wanna listen to the 1975 with you every day or night, as long as you’re there.” I proclaim and I see his eyes get glassy.

“You mean that?” He asks and I nod. “All of it. I can’t be the one to tell you if we are soulmates or a coincidence. I can’t tell you if I will ever fall out of love with you, but I can promise you that I want to spend any moment with you starting all over again every day.” I play with the small curls.

He moves his hand to my neck and brings my face closer to his. His hands were cold compared to my neck and I found myself having goosebumps. He hadn’t connected our lips yet and I was becoming impatient under his stare. His eyes searched mine quickly and then he finally connected our lips, I move my body forward to be closer to his face.

I pressed most of my weight on him and he moved his other hand to keep my neck still. He ran his tongue over my lips and I slowly allowed him an entrance, he was groaning slightly as I ran my hands down his shoulders. I pull away before it became anything else. His pink lips were now swollen, I could still taste the peppermint off of him. He pushes more hair behind my ear and I smile down at him. “I love you.” He says and I bite my lip slightly. “Good, because I love you too,” I say and peck his lips lightly again.

“Do you think fish have feelings?” He asks and I laugh a little. “I don’t know honestly. Do we have any ice cream?” I ask and he nods. We both give each other a look before we both jolt off of the bed.