#miaf

That question seemed off, and Clay cocked an eyebrow. They got coffee all the time, but this time it seemed different. Then it dawned on him. Oh.

“Uhm, y-yeah?” I mean, he did want to get coffee with Tony, he just wondered how it would be different this time. If it was different at all.

“Great! After school, at the mustang?” Tony was still turned halfway toward the other direction, and he was starting to walk now, kind of awkwardly.

That’s what they always did, meet at the mustang for coffee after school.

“Yeah after school is… wait you do mean in a gay way, right?” Maybe this wasn’t different and Clay was reading too much into it. He thought maybe Tony would be able to read him at this point (he was very good at doing that- reading Clay), he’d been dropping hints lately.

Tony just smirked, turning back around and shouting behind him as he walked, “Yes, in a gay way, you idiot.”

Clay’s shoulders visibly relaxed, although there weren’t very many people left in the hallways to see it. What Clay didn’t get to see was Tony’s smile- more closely resembling a smirk, but still a smile- as he made his way to class.

               Luckily, it was the last class of the day, otherwise Clay would’ve been fucked. His mind was everywhere but in class- Did he look okay? Okay enough for a date? What did this mean in general? How different was it going to be? He couldn’t stop thinking about the date, his mind wouldn’t stop racing.

What he did know, was that they were going to Monet’s, in this town ‘going for coffee’ always meant Monet’s. He’d gotten used to the talking (to be honest it was long before Hannah, that just sort of intensified it) so that wasn’t what was putting him on edge. He shouldn’t even be on edge, it was Tony for fucks sake.

But that was the thing. It was Tony. The one person he trusted the most, the one friend he could count on to always be there. The one thing of importance he had left. He didn’t want to screw this up. And maybe that’s the difference, between Tony and Hannah (besides a dick, obviously) he wasn’t as afraid to do something this time. Sure, there were the risks, but what is life if you don’t take a couple risks? Perfectly good people miss out on perfectly good opportunities because they refrain from taking risks.

“Clay?”

He was pulled out of his thoughts by someone, Skye, calling his name.

“Huh? Yeah?” He whipped his head around, not sure which direction she was coming from. When he finally found her, she looked at him in askance. When she got no response, she rolled her eyes.

“The project Clay, we can work with a partner, I asked if you wanted to be mine?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure. Remind me, what project?” This time Skye laughed, which received a couple of looks in their direction that all just went back to what they were doing anyway.

“The fucks got you like this, dude? Oil-boy finally ask you out?” Clay didn’t respond. At least not verbally, but his facial expression gave it away. And since when did Skye call Tony Oil-boy?

“C’mon Clay, you really think I wouldn’t notice you two flirting with each other? Half the time I don’t think you even realized you were doing it. It was bound to happen sometime, and my bet was on sooner rather than later.”

She knew? Damn. He must be really bad at hiding his emotions. He just sighed though, because what could he do about it now? Half the school probably already knows.

“Can we just get on with the project?” He wasn’t really in the mood for doing work, but if it would take off the slightest bit of anxiety about later then he was prepared to take the lesser of two evils.

               To be quite honest the project was probably shit. Clay had such a hard time focusing that Skye did more than half of it, and what Clay had done was (unintentionally) half-assed. After the first fifteen minutes of Clay struggling to finish one sentence Skye’s sarcasm and teasing became more like humorous pity.

“Good luck, lover-boy. Tell Tony I’m proud of him for finally plucking up the courage to ask out the-boy-who-had-no-idea-about-his-love-life.”

Clay laughed, shaking his head. The sad thing was that she was right. He had absolutely no idea what the hell he was doing. But he guessed he’d find out. Right about now too, he realized as he began walking toward the school parking lot. As his walking pace steadied, his heart’s picked up, nerves coming back at him full-force.

Tony was already at the car, his hands in his pockets as he rested against the hood of the car. He made it look easy. Clay smiled sheepishly, then proceeded to internally scold himself for it. It was just Tony, he kept reminding himself. Nothing to be worried about.

“Hey.” Oh god, he was so awkward.

“Hey.” Tony’s smile was so genuine, and Clay should be used to it by now, but he still had wonders about how a single person’s smile could make you feel so warm, so comforted, so at home. Clay should have also been accustomed to Tony’s gentlemanly manners, pulling the door open for Clay to get inside before getting into his own seat.

Clay was staring ahead, at all of the other students filing out of the school, freedom at last. He didn’t notice Tony’s light chuckle, head moving just to the right to turn the key in the ignition. 

“You okay there, dude?”

Tony’s oddly concerned, questioning tone startled Clay slightly. He was so nervous, but he shouldn’t be. It was just- Tony seemed so calm, so relaxed. Why wasn’t he nervous too?

“How do you make it look so easy?” He thought out loud. And then, “shit.”

It was Tony’s turn to raise an eyebrow now, "huh?“

"I mean, why aren’t you nervous? You’re so calm about this and I’m so… not.” Clay- inevitably -looked to Tony, who just looked at him with sad, amused eyes. 

Tony took a short breath in, opened his mouth to say something, the closed it. He reached his hand out to find Clay’s which was resting in between them, turning his entire body to look at Clay. 

With complete sincerity, Tony asked, “And what makes you think I’m calm? This is probably the second-most nervous I’ve ever been,” Tony smiled again, albeit a smaller (but still genuine) one, “I just do a better job of dealing with it.”

Clay tried to laugh, even the slightest bit, he did. But he couldn’t. He didn’t intend for his expression to be so solemn when he looked back at Tony. But it did.

He didn’t think it was possible for Tony to soften any more than he already had, but when he spoke to Clay again, it was the softest Clay had ever heard him speak. 

“Clay, you’re important to me, maybe one of the most important things to me. And all I want is for you to feel comfortable, and happy. I don’t care that this might freak you out a bit. It freaks me out too. I don’t care that you show your emotions so easily. I’ve been trained not to. All I want is to make you happy, and if that means no coffee today, then that means no coffee today. Baby steps.”

Clay wasn’t prepared for that, finding it hard to keep his eyes trained on Tony’s. He wasn’t aware of their watering until Tony lifted up his free hand, the one not attached to his, and swiped at a tear running down his cheek. 

He knew he was close. To a panic attack. But something about Tony touching his face sent vibrations of instant tranquility through him. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, going far enough to rest his head on Tony’s shoulders. 

When he was eventually able to speak again, he didn’t move his head from Tony’s shoulder. The air in the car surrounding them still felt heavy, weighted with a post-emotional-outburst fog, each emotion they were feeling tied to a string and swinging over them, hanging in the air. 

“You smell good,” was the first thing that came to his mind. Tony did smell good. (Like the summer, and vanilla ice cream if you really wanted to know.)

Clay’s head bounced on Tony’s shoulder when he laughed. Clay laughing too at the hilarity of it, sending them into a fit of lightened laughter. Minutes passed, the two of them sat parked in a car, still in school grounds before Clay looked up.

Now face to face, inches apart from Tony’s, he dared himself to throw caution to the wind as he leaned in the slightest bit, feeling Tony watch his eyes carefully, but remaining unmoving, and pressing his forehead against Tony’s. He closed his eyes, relishing in Tony’s warmth, then without warning, tilted his chin up, pushing the rest of his head back, and kissed Tony. 

Short and sweet and to the point. He kissed Tony. He kept his forehead resting against Tony’s, “lets go get some coffee, yeah?”

Tony pulled back to look at him, searching. He didn’t take long to find whatever it was he was looking for, and respond, “yeah, let’s.”

The ride to Monet’s was happy and lighthearted, neither one of them forgetting what had just happened, but understanding the mood of the moment right now. And what it needed to be. 

They had arrived at Monet’s in what seemed like no time and walked inside. Clay went to find a table while Tony went to get their drinks. (He already knew what Clay wanted- black, no sugar, no cream.)

Tony came back and sat down with their drinks in his hands, setting Clay’s in front of him. Clay just smiled, he didn’t need to say anything- Tony’s already knew. He was comfortable here, sitting next to Tony, with only really one care in the world. And that was them. 

He was happy.