#mello.feels

I could get lost in thought

Like wandering through a city

Filled with an abundance sights, and sounds, and souls

And I swear I can feel you right there

You’re within reach

At the fringes of my mind

I can sense your stare

I can feel your walk

Casing through my thoughts

Like as though you’re observing art

At a museum or gallery hop

My soul is like glass

Something that should be seen and not touched

Except by deft hands

One’s who’ve experienced this lust

For hot molting fickle movement

And practices as old as time

Ideas that are ever changing

As the material begins to bind

Bind to other material and this idea grows and forms

It cools into objective beauty, but is still something so worn

It’s priceless

This art, this piece

This work with no tag

But it speaks to me

Whispers of something that vibrates the glass

But the frequency

Is just right, and it’s comforting

No one talks enough about preparing for your parents to age in a world where generations skip when taking care of children. For example, I’m adopted, so my parents are into their 80’s. My mother has Parkinson’s and in the middle of advancing dementia, father is fine mentally but he took a fall so it’s put me and my other sibling (both of us living in) in a bit of a bind….

I don’t experience a lot of…hmmmm softness? Or patience, and I already cope with a couple of “bats in the attic” when it comes to my mental health. I get some understanding but it’s the closeness, compassion, that I all but yearn for.

So please, understand I will give you all the patience in the world, time between messaging and your boundaries. But when I experience being cut off, ghosted, or the like, it really hits me in a profoundly blunt way. I am a very excitable person, and I try my very best to rein it in, but it’s difficult (not impossible however) because I don’t get the opportunity for a lot of interaction.

Under the sky so blue

All I wanted was to find

The line I couldn't stop thinking of was "I cannot protect you" when I saw the sun break the horizon, and then this beautiful warm shade of magenta began to bleed into the sky. Then something in me shook.

Jutting pillars and heights on either side of me

Concrete, brick and mortar skin encasing words and stories and sounds and scenes

Sizzling electricity pulsates like nerves on a razors edge

Hundreds of thousand souls move like life’s blood through the streets

A cacophony of existence, all aware and oblivious to their brothers and sisters

All necessary but never placed intentionally

Red and white head and tails

like blood cells comprised of self instilled agency

All moving purposefully aimless through this living breathing organisms

Where the light in the windows of the souls twinkle even when no one is home

And she always welcomes you, even when she’s silent

And I realize I’m inlove with her