Once again, con artists and charlatans rejoice all across this pathetic excuse for a continent as yet another false promise of power is exposed for what it is. ‘Distilled Essence of Wyrm’ is nothing more than a bottle of snake oil!

You’d think with all the effort, all the money, all the time, the hype, that this damned stuff would do something of value. Oh, yes, ‘usher in a great calamity’ indeed. Please. The only calamity is your pocketbook after paying the absurd and exorbitantly-priced bottles. A single dose costs more than some assassins’ services. 

And no, before you ask, they don’t do bulk discounts. I checked. No, you’d best pay the equivalent to a month’s wage for the basic, common worker so that you can have a fleeting, utterly harmless non-explosion that does less damage than a sparkler!

This is an abomination, a slap in the face to all good people everywhere, and it really makes me think that what this city needs is some kind of honorable organization which watches the markets and makes sure products aren’t fraudulent. There’s so many products in Ul’dah these days that aren’t at all what they say, and it’s really getting out of hand.

What good is this so-called “power” if you can’t use it to destroy overgrown cats who claim you’re not the Doman samurai you know you are at heart? We need to do something about this, dammit!

Kagome Voulaizunlezotre is happy to write for the only reputable news source in all Eorzea. Always remember that The Crucible is your one-stop source for all important, pertinent, relevant and accurate news, and that we are peerless.

“Containing the dragon within, whole different matter is being able to control it when it’s out”.

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