#meat dave

i bet this was happening on the other end

What a shitty reality.

Miscommunication between in-laws on how to celebrate an event

Ult Dirk

DAVE: ... DAVE: ... DAVEBOT: ... DAVE: ok what the fuck DAVEBOT: what DAVE: dawg what do you mean what youre a full ass titanium tank DAVE: walking around like T-800 in Terminator 1 shooting up your targets like “beep boop eat my alloy ass” DAVE: or wait maybe youre like how he was in the second movie defending that one kid with the fucked up haircut DAVE: idk take your pick DAVEBOT: depends on the day tbh DAVE: damn okay thats kinda fucked up DAVEBOT: why whats wrong with it DAVE: well no its not like a bad thing DAVE: like actually the opposite thats categorically fucking awesome DAVE: its just kinda insane DAVE: like DAVE: how did this happen dude DAVEBOT: i could explain it but its kinda a long story DAVEBOT: you better be prepared to sit our choice ass down and listen to a fuckin heap of a strider ramble for this one dude DAVE: oh im one hundo percent down to hear the full davebot-ification saga like im listenin to the tales of old but instead of old they’re like new cuz they happen in the future or whatever DAVE: first though DAVE: whats your deal DAVE: huh DAVE: well youre both like different future versions of me right like what happened in your timeline or whatever DAVE: oh uh DAVE: not much tbh DAVE: not as interesting as mr ethereal brobot over there im just kinda chilling in space after losing an election with my- DAVE: … DAVE: uh DAVE: yeah anyway im just doofing around heading after our mutual bro DAVEBOT: are you gonna tell him the thing DAVE: what thing DAVE: youre saying that like theres some kinda big fuckin topic im tip-toeing around like its some stinky ass cheese and im a 12 year old greg heffley DAVEBOT: the karkat thing DAVE: oh absolutely not DAVE: dont even say his name im not talking about this DAVE: ??? DAVEBOT: you gotta talk about it man DAVE: no i like absolutely dont DAVE: could you imagine being 13 year old us hearing that shit im not gonna fucking tell him DAVE: if you want him to know so bad why dont you tell him yourself DAVEBOT: i never said i was- DAVE: dont pull that shit bro you absolutely are DAVE: even if you dont think you are personally you got all those alternate dave brains bouncing around your metal dome and theres absolutely no fuckin way none of those handsome bastards have thought about stapling a singular bright pink triangle to their lobe DAVE: what are you talking about DAVEBOT: hes gay DAVE: WHAT THE FUCK DAVE: WHAT THE FUCK