#mcxliam

“We don’t know…”

As the hours went by, he began to fear he wouldn’t be able to keep that promise, but it wasn’t until the fourth ultrasound came back with nothing, and he overheard the doctors quietly discussing the possibility of cancer that he nearly broke down and had to excuse himself, calling Drake of all people because he didn’t know what else to do. For a moment, he was back on the beach, listening to his father tell him he was dying, and to hear that word spoken about Jennifer… it was too much to bear.  

Now, sitting in the chair beside her bed, Liam watches his beloved, her face relaxed in merciful slumber after finally succumbing to sheer fatigue and the increased dose of morphine necessary to dull her worsening pain. The nighttime lighting mounted to the wall casts shadows in the hollows of her cheeks and eyes, stark against her pallid skin and giving her an almost skeletal appearance. When she told him she didn’t want to die, that she was scared, he did his best to assuage her fears… but he would be lying if he said he hadn’t begun to share them. Not even his father looked this close to death as he took his final breath, and he can’t help but wonder how much more she could take.

Feeling his throat tighten, he leans forward, pinching the bridge of his nose against the stinging in his eyes. He couldn’t allow fear to take over, couldn’t allow his anguish to consume him. Not yet. As long as he could hear the steady sounds of her breathing and their child’s muffled heartbeat through the monitor strapped to her belly, there was still hope and he could remain strong. He had to. For her, and the baby.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, he opens his eyes, studying her again. Despite the sickness marring her features, she’s still the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen, and he’s unable to stop himself from reaching out, cupping her cheek in his palm. “We were dancing…” She sighs, a ghost of a smile touching her lips before she opens her eyes, taking a few moments to focus on him. “Do you remember that? When we danced at the Masquerade Ball?” She asks quietly, her voice weak.

“Of course I remember. The moment I first saw you in Cordonia, I feared I was dreaming.” He smiles softly, picturing her standing before him in her angel costume, the image so clear it was as if it happened yesterday.

“I loved you… even then I loved you.” Her eyelids slowly close, and a tear spills over, wetting his thumb as he traces it along the dark purple shadow beneath her eye. Her skin feels warm against his hand… too warm, and a fresh tinge of worry twists his stomach.

“We have a lifetime of dances together still ahead of us My Love.” He tells her, unsure if he’s saying it to assuage her fears or his own.

Her eyes flutter open briefly, only to close again. “I’m so tired Liam…”

“I know Baby…” His breath hitches, and he takes a moment to compose himself, brushing a lock of hair from her cheek and tucking it behind her ear. “Go ahead and rest. I’ll be right here.”

The corners of her mouth twitch in the briefest of smiles and painfully slowly, she reaches for his hand as though it took every ounce of effort she had left to lift her arm. Squeezing his eyes shut to stop his beginning tears, he presses a kiss to her hand, feeling his lips tremble against her skin as he holds it in place. This isn’t right… none of it was. If only his father had warned him that it could be agonizing to be a devoted husband and a King… to be the most powerful man in the country and yet be utterly powerless to help the woman who was everything to him. Perhaps his father felt the same anguish as he watched Liam’s mother die a slow and painful death and that was a factor in his support of Madeleine. His father knew how much he loved Jennifer, and he wouldn’t have wanted his son to feel that pain, to love someone so completely that he would be willing to lose everything to save her. He would lay down his very life for her, would take her pain for the rest of his days if it meant she didn’t have to bear it for another moment.

Hearing the door open, he glances up to find Lucy approaching, still on duty as Jennifer’s nurse. “How is she doing?” She asks quietly.

Liam clears his throat, attempting to steady his voice. “She’s in and out but when she is awake she’s very weak, and she seems extremely warm to me.”

“She’s had a trying day.” Lucy replies, giving him an understanding look before taking the blood pressure cuff from it’s hook on the wall.

Trying to gently wake her, Liam rubs his palm against the top of Jennifer’s hand. “Love… Lucy is here to take your vitals.” Groaning with her eyes still closed, she rolls over onto her back and Liam stands, getting out of the way so the nurse can do her work. After watching Lucy take Jennifer’s vital every thirty minutes like clockwork, he knew the routine inside and out.

The thermometer beeps and Liam catches a brief look of concern flash in Lucy’s eyes as she looks down at it before excusing herself and walking quickly from the room. Moments later, she reappears and rushes back to Jennifer’s side, taking yet another tube of blood. “Her Majesty has developed a fever, and Dr Brooks wants another set of labs done to see if anything has changed. The results will only take a few minutes, and Dr Brooks will come speak to you as soon as he has them.” Unable to fully process what just transpired, Liam nods in understanding and Lucy dashes back out of the room.

“What’s going on?”

He can hear the weariness in Jennifer’s voice and he turns to her, taking in the line of sweat that has formed at her hairline before sitting on the edge of the bed. “You have a fever and they took more blood to see why.”

“It’s hot in here, and I don’t feel good.” She whines, her pouting lower lip trembling.

“I know Baby.” Frowning, he presses a kiss to her forehead, hot and clammy against his lips before picking up the cup of half melted ice chips from the counter next to her bed. “Here, this will help you cool off a bit.” Using the spoon he left in the cup, he scoops up a few chips as she lifts her head slightly, parting her lips to allow him to feed her the ice. Breathing out a sigh of relief, she relaxes, giving him an affectionate look as her head sinks into the pillow. “Good?” She nods, opening her mouth for him to feed her more. “The baby’s heartrate is still okay… it hasn’t gotten higher.”

“I know. I can hear it.” She struggles to stay awake, each blink taking longer than the last and just as Liam thinks she’s drifted off to sleep, they open again. “Liam.”  She swallows hard, gazing up at him pleadingly. “If it comes to me or the baby, promise me you’ll…”

“Don’t.” Squeezing his eyes shut against the look in hers, he shakes his head. “Don’t ask me to choose Jennifer.”

He feels her fingers graze his cheek before she presses her thumb into the furrow between his brows, and he draws in a shaky breath, relaxing under her touch. She always did that, when she was telling him not to take things so seriously, or anytime he was upset or stressed, and she was worried about him. It worked without fail, reminding him that he wasn’t alone in whatever issue he was facing. “I’m afraid you may have to… my love.”

Taking her hand from his face, he stands, turning away from the name he used for her. She speaks his name softly, her voice dripping with emotion, imploring him to face her and make the promise that he would save their child’s life over hers. Doing so would be the compassionate thing to do, to bring her comfort and ease her mind that no matter what happened to her in the coming hours, their child would have a chance at life. Perhaps if he were the husband she believed him to be, if he were a stronger man, he could turn around and make that vow… but it’s a promise he knows he wouldn’t keep, and he won’t lie to her. His decision would weigh on him for the rest of his life, potentially destroying his marriage to the woman he was desperately holding onto, but he would choose her. In a heartbeat he would choose her. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his unborn child, he did with all his heart, and with every pregnancy milestone that passed, he felt more and more like the father he became when he saw those two little lines on the pregnancy test. But Jennifer meant everything to him, she was his world, and he couldn’t bear a life without her by his side.

“I know it’s not an easy choice for you to make Liam…” She continues behind him as he cravenly remains facing the other direction, his hands balled into fists at his sides. He doesn’t know what’s worse, not being able to give his wife the comfort she so desperately needed or being such a coward that he couldn’t face looking at her as he told her the truth. “…but I also know what a good man you are and if it should get to that point… you’ll make the right decision.”

“Jennifer…” Sighing heavily, he rakes his fingers through his hair before turning around to see Dr Brooks return with urgency. “Have you found something Doctor?” He asks, grateful for the interruption.

“I have.” Dr Brooks replies before dropping his gaze to speak to Jennifer directly. “Since your last set of labs, your white blood cell count has become extremely elevated, indicating a significant infection, and we must perform an exploratory laparoscopy posthaste to find the source.”

Exhaling slowly through his nose, Liam runs his hand across his lips, pinching his chin as he considers the doctor’s words. There was no doubt that they needed answers, and a first hand look would certainly provide them, but he did not relish the idea of her undergoing surgery while she was pregnant with their child. “Would there be any benefit in trying to find the source of the infection through other diagnostic means first?” Liam asks, watching Jennifer’s brows draw slowly together as she stares blankly between him and the doctor.

“Unfortunately we no longer have the luxury of time Your Majesty, and there are no other diagnostic means to try. Because Queen Jennifer is pregnant, our diagnostic imaging options are quite limited, and the laparoscope will allow me to see what can’t be seen on ultrasound. When I have a better understanding of what’s going on, I can determine what steps need to be taken, but I’m afraid this is the only way I can do that.”

For several seconds, Jennifer continues to stare at the doctor before turning her confused gaze to Liam. “I don’t understand… What is he talking about Liam?”

“You have an infection My Love, and Dr Brooks is going to take you into surgery to find where it is.” He explains, stepping forward to rest his hand on her shoulder.

“I don’t want to have surgery.” Her chin puckers, and her eyes flit to her abdomen before meeting his again. “What if he cuts the baby?”

“Surgery is performed successfully on pregnant women every day Your Majesty.” Dr Brooks assures her. “We have the best anesthesiologist on board and Dr Colle will be present the entire time monitoring the health of the baby.”

“But…” She argues.

“You don’t have a choice Jennifer. They have to do this to fix you.” Giving her shoulder a light squeeze, Liam catches Dr Brooks’ eye. “Give us a moment please.” The doctor bows, taking his leave as Liam sits halfway on the edge of the bed, his thigh pressed against Jennifer’s side with his other foot anchored to the floor. She watches him, wide red-rimmed eyes swimming with tears and her trembling lip tucked between her teeth. Understandably, she’s scared. He is too, and he wants nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and tell her she doesn’t have to go, they will try something else... But he knew in his heart the doctor was right, they were running out of time. Forcing himself to ignore the gripping pain in his chest, he reaches out to cup her chin in his palm, tugging her lip free with his thumb. “Don’t be afraid My Love, everything’s going to be fine. The surgery will be over before you know it and I’ll be right here waiting for you when you get back. You just have to be strong for a little while longer… can you do that for me?”

Jennifer nods rapidly, sniffling with her lip back between her teeth, “Okay…” She whispers in a squeaky voice, her breath catching as she attempts to reach out for him, too weak to raise her arms more than a few inches.

Slipping his arm beneath her shoulders, he lifts her into an embrace and she burrows her face in his neck, trembling as she grasps the fabric of his shirt tightly in her hands. “You’re the bravest person I know Jennifer, you can do this.” He assures her, rubbing her back until she stops shaking and her breath evens out. From the direction of the open door, he hears Lucy softly clear her throat and he knows it’s time for her to go. “That’s our cue…” He whispers, trying to control the emotion in his voice as he pulls back, pressing a lingering kiss to her lips before gently lowering her back down.

“They are ready for you, Your Majesty.” Lucy smiles comfortingly as she begins unwrapping the bandage around Jennifer’s stomach that holds the fetal heart monitor in place, while a male nurse crouches down at the foot of the bed, presumably unlocking the wheels.

Reluctantly, Liam begins to stand, but is stopped short by Jennifer, gripping his arm as she cries out his name in a panicked voice. Placing his hands on either side of her to support his weight, he leans down, resting his forehead against hers. “Be brave.” He whispers against her lips. “I love you, and I’ll see you soon.”

“I love you too…” She cries, her eyelashes wet from her tears. “I love you so much.”

Her hold on his arm relaxes as he kisses her again, first on the lips then her forehead before he stands, following beside the bed with her hand in his until the two nurses wheel her out of the room. Following them into the hall, he watches until they’ve turned the corner and she’s out of sight before turning to Bastien, standing at his post outside the door. “I trust the surgical area was secured?”

“Of course, Your Majesty.” Bastien affirms with a nod. “Only medical staff is allowed in the operating room, but Mara and Patrick will be standing guard outside.” Bastien clears his throat, looking at Liam as though he’s mulling something over in his mind. “Sir, may I… may I trouble you for an update on Her Majesty’s condition?”

“I’m afraid we still don’t know, but I’m hopeful the surgery will provide some much needed answers. I must thank you for getting her here Bastien, without you and Lord Maxwell, I don’t know what might have happened.”

“There is no need to thank me Sir.” Bastien holds up his hand, shaking his head. “Queen Jennifer has become very dear to me, as are you. I will be praying for your family.”

“Thank you, Bastien. We are very grateful for your friendship.” Liam assures him, forcing a smile that surely looks as pitiful as it feels. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Bastien nods, his steel grey eyes already sweeping the hallway.

Closing the door behind him, Liam’s gaze locks on the empty space made by his wife’s absence and he feels a tightening in his chest, like a fist squeezing his heart. Every moment of sadness, fear, and frustration he’s pushed down since learning of Jennifer’s distress adds to the crushing wave of emotion, threatening to consume him as he presses his fist firmly against his lips to stop himself from crying out. His vision blurs and he staggers across the room, barely making it to the couch before his knees buckle and he collapses onto the seat. Silent tears flood his cheeks as he leans forward, trying to control his breathing as he holds his head in his hands. Please God, make them find what’s wrong. Don’t take her from me. She’s all I have. The only thing that matters. She’s my angel, a beacon of light in a world that’s all too often dark. I love her more than life itself and I can’t bear to lose her. Please save her God… please save my wife. I’m begging you to save her.

Bastien’s deep voice, muffled by the closed door reaches Liam’s ears, startling him out of his silent prayer. “What the hell are you doing here? Have you lost your damn fool mind?” There is no mistaking the shock and anger behind his words and Liam knows exactly who he’s talking to... Drake. “He doesn’t want to see you Drake, especially at a time like this.”

“He’s the one who called me!”

Grabbing a few tissues from the box on the table in front of him, Liam wipes the tears from his face as the men in the hallway continue their conversation in voices too low to make out more than a few heated words. “Let him in Bastien.” Liam calls out. Drake enters immediately, taking tentative steps into the room before stopping several feet away, averting his eyes as he slips his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “Thank you for coming.” Liam mutters, dropping his gaze to the floor. There was so much that needed to be said, so much to atone for, but he wasn’t capable of doing so at the moment. Not when his entire being was wracked with worry for Jennifer and the baby. He could barely form a coherent thought, let alone have an uncomfortable conversation that was long overdue.  

“Yeah man… of course I would come.” Drake pauses, scuffing his brown leather boot on the floor. “Thanks for calling me… you didn’t have to do that.”

“She would have wanted you here.” And I needed my brother… The thought surprises him. He had long since let go of the anger he held over what Drake had done but the hurt was still present, and he doesn’t know when he started to think of Drake as his brother again… or if he ever truly stopped.

Time passes in awkward silence, Drake’s pacing footfalls the only sound as Liam remains seated, pitched forward with his forehead resting in his palm and his eyes closed, feeling the raw burn of acid in the back of his throat from the thoughts running through his mind, each one worse than the last. They were only supposed to be looking… Why is it taking so long?  Lifting his head to check the time on the inscribed watch Jennifer had given him, Liam sees Dr Brooks turn into the room. His pulse quickens as he leaps to his feet, ignoring the sharp pain in his shin from its impact with the table as he assaults the man with questions. “What is it Doctor? How is my wife? Is she going to be alright?”

“Her Majesty is still in surgery with Dr Colle.” Dr Brooks’ eyes shift to Drake and he forcibly clears his throat.

Taking in the doctor’s grave expression, Liam draws in a slow breath, squaring his shoulders to steel himself against the blow that he knew was coming as his father’s words echo in his mind. Focus Liam, only you are in control of your emotions. “You may speak freely in front of Mr. Walker.”

“Very well. King Liam, under normal circumstances I wouldn’t be here, but being who you are, and who we are performing surgery on, I felt it prudent to give you an update myself.” Dr Brooks pauses, reaching up to adjust his wire rimmed glasses and Liam waves his hand, urging him to continue. “Her Majesty has peritonitis, caused by a perforated appendix. Peritonitis is an inflammation of the peritoneum, the tissue that lines the inner wall of the abdomen and covers most of the abdominal organs. If not treated properly, it can rapidly spread into the bloodstream and she could become septic. To prevent that from happening, I need to go back in there, remove any infected or damaged tissue and essentially clean the inside of her abdomen.”

Liam’s heart thunders in his chest, so hard he can hear it in his ears and he feels a coldness spread across his cheeks and around the back of his neck before it trails down his spine, almost making him shiver. “And what about my child? Has the baby been affected?” He asks, swallowing hard against the lump that has formed in his throat.

“The baby did well in the first stage of surgery but at this point it’s unclear how extensive the tissue damage is and what organs may be involved. Dr Colle and I will do what we can to save the pregnancy, but please understand, our priority is the Queen’s health.”

“I understand. Thank you Dr Brooks.”

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