about a million alt versions below the cut because I am nothing if not full of indecision (so you choose which you like most) :P
Colourful Michael is VERY important to me but this was sort of baby’s first tma fanart from back in ~November and I (still) do not have a good idea of how he looks to me
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Contains: It’s the “current boyfriend” prank. Gender neutral! Not time period specified so imagine them old or young, idgaf. Some of them put their hands on you (PLAYFULLY) so watch out.
A/N: I might make more sooner or later.
Men in question: Hardy Boyz (separate, freaks), Randy Orton, Eddie Guerrero, and CM Punk
Jeff Hardy:
You know he doesn’t care about social media at all unless it’s for promos or to show off his art. Or to dance…which isn’t odd actually. Jeff was told that his artwork would be shown in the video so he obliged.
“Hey guys, I’m here with my current boyfriend, Jeff.”
Jeff waved, “hi, world.”
“He wants to show off his work so, go on head.”
“Okay,” he smiled as he grabbed one of the canvases, “first up, one of my many enigmatic men. He has primarily my lover’s favorite colors on him.”
“Oh, he does?” Jeff nodded gleefully at your question. Now there’s guilt filling your chest.
“Next up we have this piece inspired by them. I’m more of an abstract kind of guy but I’ve been told by Matt that it does look like ‘em. So, I’m proud of myself for that. Then, we got the—“
You cut him off, “Jeff, you didn’t notice.”
Jeff tilted his head in confusion.
“I called you my CURRENT boyfriend.”
“Oh…AH SHIT! Why’d you do that for?”
You inhaled before giving him a hug, “you’re so out of touch with social media, it’s honestly charming. But you’re also out of touch with reality, like you’re in a constant state of dreaming.”
He chuckled, “dreaming about creative ideas—“
“Of course—“
“—and fucking you.”
“Okay, end of the damn video.”
He pouted at you, “but I wanna show off my art.”
“Mhh mhh, you can do it on a different video later.”
Matt Hardy:
Matthew doesn’t shy away from the camera. When you asked him to film with you, he obviously said yes.
You started the video off with your introduction then began to introduce him, “so, I’m here with my CURRENT boyfriend.”
Immediately cuts you off, “what?”
“Hm,” you tilted your head innocently. Trying not to break because of the confusion on his poor face.
“CURRENT?”
“What? Who said that.”
“You did— nope, y’know what. I’m here with my 3rd side piece because I’m some sort of a pimp.”
“Matt,” you finally broke into laughter.
“No, no. What’s so funny about this? Why are you saying I’m your current boyfriend— I’m your husband essentially,” he was more saddened than angry but he’s southern and his voice is as thick as a pound cake with a piece of corn bread. So no matter what, he’ll somehow sound angry.
“I-it’s a prank,” you slipped out of your seat from laughing.
He just looked at you blankly before sighing, “nope. I’m outta here,” Matt got up and walked away.
Randy Orton:
You knew you had to mentally prepare, this man is a different breed of unpredictability. There was 50% chance he was gonna say something out of pocket, 50% chance he wouldn’t notice. But we don’t do 50% chances round here, they’re more so like…5% chances.
“Aye, you wanna be in my workout video?”
Randy’s eyebrows quirked, “what’s the catch?”
“Nothing? I’m just a sweet innocent darling, excuse you,” there was indeed a catch. He shrugged his shoulders and stood by as you set up the camera. Once you pressed the record, you did your ‘greeting.’ “Hello! It’s your fave and I am here with my current boyfriend, Randy.” Randy waved politely, creepy. “He is going to help me with some of my workouts today. I already stretched so let’s get to the bench press.”
You two went over to the bench press in your garage-gym. Randy was at the head to spot you while you went under. Then he spoke up, “you see, my ex here is quite weak and cocky enough to lift this big ass weight that I gotta spot ‘em. So weak, that they think I wouldn’t notice what the hell they just said and won’t kick their ass for it.” He laughed slightly throughout that. Which only made you laugh.
A laugh of concern.
Ain’t shit was funny to him right now.
“Randy, I’m not about to work out. I was just trying to prank you. You’re so violent.”
“That is not funny,” he scoffed. Before you could say anything, he put a hand in your face while walking off.
You sat up and shouted out to him, “I’ll buy you some cheat snacks.” Never in your days has he whipped his head around so fast. “Like cookies or a quarter pound burger,” that’s when he started to walk back to you…
fucking fatass. Plus it’s his cheat day anyways.
Eddie Guerrero:
Oh poor thing was heartbroken. Felt like you took the soul out his body then his heart. And of course, you felt bad…but damn. His reaction was hilarious.
Eddie cooked for the two of you and you ‘wanted to show the fans that he could cook.’ That’s what you told him. Boy was he ecstatic. He stood behind you proudly as you pressed record.
“Hello, everybody. I’m here with my current boyfriend, Eddie.” Eddie immediately pouted but you continued, “Babe, say hi.”
He shook his head, “que pasó?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Current boyfriend? I’m your fucking current boyfriend? I didn’t lie ‘n cheat ‘n steal you away from your fucking ex—.”
“WOOAAHHHH,” you scrambled to turn off your phone but it didn’t work out well.
“No no no! I didn’t do all that to be reduced to a ‘current boyfriend.’ No soy un novio actual. Yo soy el amor de tu vida. Say it,” he grabbed your cheeks. Not aggressively, it became more playful at this point as you tried to fight him off. Still recording it all, “say ‘él es mi novio!”
“Él es mi novio actual!”
“NO, MAMI!”
“SÍ!”
“NOOOOOOO!”
Eddie gave up and dramatically collapsed on the ground. You just stared at him before turning back to eat, giving the camera a thumbs up.
CM Punk:
Honestly, you don’t know how you got in this predicament, but you’re here. Both seated on the couch. Punk was beyond confused as to what you were doing as he watched you prop up the camera and press record.
“Hello, wrestling fans of the world. I’m with my current boyfriend—,” Punk immediately turns off your phone before turning to face you.
“What?”
Inhaling sharply, attempting not to laugh in his face, “hm? What’s wrong.”
“Current? Who the fuck do I look like to you? Some harlot you nabbed off the street?” You nodded quickly which made him grab you by your collar, that’s when your laughter broke out. “Listen here, you lil’ shit, I’m gonna media train you. We’re gonna restart that video and you’re gonna address me as your husband or some other shit that is of greater value than whatever the fuck you said.”
You nodded your head, he let you go. Grabbing your phone to prop it back up and press record, “sup, wrestling fans! I’m here with my favorite ex— BABY, COME BACK!”
The chick magnet got up and left you. Being the logical bitch that you are, you chased after him. Who wouldn’t? But then, out of no where, he tackled you. Knocking the wind so far out of you, you could’ve sworn you saw your spirit leave your body and grandma greet you kindly.
He sat up, looking down at you, leaned down to plant a kiss on her cheek before speaking, “be good.” Immediately nodding as you tried to breathe.
wrestling is queersport and im tired of pretending it isn't. it is a sport so inherently full of weirdos, trans bodies, fat bodies, black bodies, indigenous bodies, just so inherently full of diversity and beauty that i struggle to see how some wrestling fans can be so closed minded. it is drag, it is theater, it is inherently gay in ways that i can't even begin to describe
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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