#mcsweeneys

It’s decorative gourd season, Sigourdney Weaver!

“Federal and local officials dispute the circumstances that led an Immigration and Customs Enforcement officer to fatally shoot a 37-year-old woman in Minneapolis on Wednesday” — NPR

You think you’re watching a woman being shot in the face by an ICE agent, but what you’re really watching is a woman trying to run an ICE agent over and the agent firing at her in self-defense.

You think you’re watching an ICE agent walk up to a woman’s car asking her to leave, which she does, but what you’re really watching is a woman turn her car around and try to run the agent over.

You think you’re watching a woman drive away with an ICE agent following, then shooting her four times in the face, but what you’re really watching is an ICE agent in fear of his life and acting in self-defense.

You think you’re watching a video shot by a bystander who screams at the ICE agent, “Oh my God, oh my God, oh fuck, oh fuck, what did you do?!” But you’re really watching the bystander scream at the woman for trying to run over the ICE agent.

You think you’re watching a woman drive away when asked, but what you’re really watching is the woman attempting to run over all the ICE agents while they try to free their vehicles stuck in the snow.

You think you’re watching an ICE agent murder an innocent woman, but what you’re really watching is a federal agent being the victim of a domestic terrorist.

You think you’re watching a woman who’s been shot four times in the face lying dead on the front seat of her car, but what you’re really watching is the ICE agent alive and well after the “disorderly” woman hit him with her vehicle.

You think you’re watching an innocent woman being shot and killed by an ICE agent, but what you’re really watching is the radical left threatening, assaulting, and targeting law enforcement officers and ICE agents daily, who are just trying to do the job of making America safe.

"Q: What is the average age for perimenopause? The average age for perimenopause is whatever age you happen to be when you google any of the following:

What age perimenopause?

Skipped period start of menopause?

Why do I have free floating rage?

If there’s one thing we’ve concluded from the millions of visitors who pass through our doors every year, it’s that art is passé. Art is stale in an age of content—unlimited content you can hardwire to your cerebellum with maximum connectivity, allowing you to upload videos with your smart shoe, get a crappier version of the cable television you cut the cord on years ago, and watch reality shows transpire in real-time in reality with no scripts, no actors, no directors, no cameras, no crews, no catering, and no pesky union wages that make it impossible to hoard all the profit for yourself for work someone else did.