oversharing and its bitter aftertaste

Surprise! I updated my long-running WIP today for the first time since last year. 😳I'm really trying to finish this one, and hope to get it done in 3 more chapters. 🤞

What's it about? Well, it started as an excuse to write smut about Jarvis Cocker of Pulp. But it somehow turned into something else that, yes, has smut about Jarvis Cocker, but also is about figuring out what to do with your one precious life.

Chapter 19 of A Paris Affair is posted on ao3 for registered users.

and your shipping brain gets overactive watching your foremothers in fandom lose their minds:

then the gummy kicks in while watching If I Fell

and it's so obviously, intensely clear that McLennon is real. they loved each other.

so you turn to your person and say, "was it just me or was that...like...tragic and gay?!?

(of course he says yes)

and then later in the film they play it again!?! 🫠

I don't know how the mclennon fandom endures such torture

This was even harder than the film game 🤍

Also shout out to Patrick O'Brien's Aubrey Maturin series and the works of Tolkien. I can't pick a single book from either. With Tolkien I blame being raised Catholic and taking a class from his protégé at university. 🤭

I'm kind of amazed 80% of these are by women considering how most are not contemporary. I love a classic.

Sometimes I feel like I'm sending sonar from a submarine with tag games so if you want me to stop pestering you, please just say so!

I pulled 3 cards this morning because I've been feeling a bit lost lately. This chaotic and hopeful reading made me smile:

Where I've been is THE HERMIT:

my weird beloved guy David Byrne. Introspection, reflection, finding and following the light within. When I see this card, I think about how self reflection is uncomfortable but you find your way.

Where I'm now is STRENGTH:

Lady Gaga is not one of my band guys (gender neutral) but I admire a queer icon who does her own thing. You have to be the monster you want to see in the world. This card is fortitude and resilience and endurance and action. It's a powerful card that says, you've got this.

Where I'm going is THE FIVE OF WANDS:

Chumbawumba's Tubthumping. Wands are fire: action, passion, power. This card is just...chaos. it's competitive and energetic buy also full of conflict and complexity. It's the struggle™️.

So all in all, I think a lot, chart my own way and don't really go anywhere. Sounds about right. 🤣

I don't know what my future holds but I know who I am:

I get knocked down, but I get up again