#mckinleystart

Tell me why I thought picking out a spring musical was going to be easy to do. I didn’t realize picking out something that was appropriate and tasteful yet popular enough for students and families to come out to would be so difficult.

You little hoebags better make me proud since I’m coming to your little singing shindig, especially since Miss Rose said she’d give me extra credit for just showing up and I’m all for that. And if any of you sound like the tone deaf freaks that I know you are, I will be more than happy to slushie you Monday morning for ruining my eardrums tonight. Good luck, kiddos.

PSA: I love and support every single one of my brothers and sisters in the show choir world, but the next time one of you decides to sing an acoustic arrangement of the latest top forty rap song -- could you be a doll and give me at least a five minute head start to get the hell out of there before I have to watch you commit your atrocities against mankind? It would just be, like...so appreciated. 

That moment when you fall asleep on the couch with the window open and wake up to the neighbor’s cat curled up on top of you. Good thing I’m cool with the neighbors and their kids. Now I’m cool with the cat too.

Shopping for tiles is so hard. Do I really care if its eggshell cream or sesame cream? No, I fucking don’t, they look the damn same. I know I’m supposed to contribute equally or whatever, but can’t I just let my wife do all the picking? I don’t really care if the kitchen tiles are cream or fucking purple, actually, maybe not something purple... 

“ Oh shit, dude come here! Do you have a body spray? I smell like weed, what do I do? I don’t want coach to bitch. ”

“alright, alright, i get that it’s tradition or whatever to pull pranks on everyone during musical season or whatever, but to whoever literally took my script, can i just ask why? i mean i can get another one? and even if i couldn’t, that would kinda hurt all of us in the long run? i’m just trying to find some sense in this. but also, does anyone have any good prank ideas? because i’m slacking in the creativity department.”

I’ve been here just about a month and the only thing I know for sure is this baseball team has a lot of work to do just to be average. Also most of the coffee around here isn’t great. I think I need to buy the teachers lounge a Keurig or something.