#mayzini

"I AM A CHILD. or-or i was a child. i was child until three months ago. you KNOW this-" and megan cuts herself off because manon looks like megan might as well have punched her in the face. she spins around to see dani looking like she's going to cry and wait a minute. they didn't know?

they didn't know she was only 19?

and there's like a solid twenty seconds of megan just standing there, staring at them staring at her and manon is remembering megan grumbling about seatbelts and swinging her arms dramatically when she walks or being just as captivated by that one kids movie that yoonchae likes.

megan zooms tf out of there and yoonchae follows behind her so fast (bonus points if yoonchae also thought the kats knew and has been highkey feeling guilty about her affection levels v.s megan's affection levels)

lara dani manon and sophia are just standing there like "what the actual fuck. there's no way we could have MISSED that right? there's no way she's just a kid." lara goes back through hybe's system and finds nothing. and then it hits manon.

"check child protective services."

"what?"

"see if meg has a cps file." and would you look at that? she does! megan meiyok skiendiel. allergic to cinnamon. nineteen years old. lara's heart drops out of stomach.

bc they can all remember megan looking at one of the sophia-yoonchae hugs for just a little too long and assuming she was zoning out. lara's mind goes back to megan walking by her lab in the middle of the night and assuming she was just up late, now she's wondering if meg was just looking for someone after a nightmare. sophia thinks about all the times meg sat next to her on the couch and what if meg was waiting for her to say it was okay to put her head on sophia's shoulder.

she comes back with yoonchae looking so tired and so nineteen and one of the lens on her sunglasses is a little shattered so lara can see one of her pupils and how shiny it gets when lara wraps her arms around her and the older woman wonders how many times meg blinked back her tears and they didn't know.

but meg gets her first cuddle and a do over birthday.

ohh my you always cook and this is so heartbreaking

mild tw unintentional sh (am i dreaming type pinch)

Uhhhhhh ace thoughts:

Kate bishop! Ace who puts up a really bubbly, happy face in front of the girls but doesn’t talk about herself at all.

Kate Bishop! Ace who gets “scouted” by hybe and, just like the Megan thing, the Kats aren’t told her true age and assume she doesn’t need their affection.

Kate bishop! Ace who’s really good at calming Yoonchae down or just talking to her and the Kats are so shocked…. Cut to them being THE SAME AGE.

Kate Bishop! Ace who arrests her mother and no one understanding the symbolism/ the weight of her having to do that.

Kate Bishop! Ace with lucky as Atlas.

Kate Bishop! Ace who sits on the rooftop/ in Central Park/ just outside the compound for hours in just a t shirt in February…

Kate bishop! Ace who has never heard an “I love you”, has nightmares as worse as Yoonchae’s, and enough anxiety to kill a small elephant but no one knows.

Kate bishop! Ace who also suffered under really really rough trainers and thought it was all good and normal.

Kate Bishop! Ace who finds comfort in Dani’s softness, softness that a lot of people don’t see.

another age-gate ohhhh man

i was SO obsessed with the kate-bishop-arresting-her-own-mother thing for the longest time. the comics breeze over it a little slower than the show does but STILL.

and lucky as atlas oh my GODDD yes

i'm a sucker for any iteration of the black widow and hawkeye duo including this one

lara cooing at her and yoonchae slipping inside bc this isn't about her (she gets caught by dani to make sure she's okay). lara just plopping megan down into sophia's lap so sophia could brush away her tears and this can't be real.

manon watching her pinch herself and her shattering all over again bc wdym this kid is so accustomed to the absence of affection that she's not sure its even real???

manon making a mental note to ask meg about other possible s/h tendencies bc she is not taking any freaking chances now.

them all stressing tf out on gifts for her bc meg is really really good at having full conversations where the other person walks away knowing nothing new about her.

it all happens, like, so fast. it only makes her cry harder to think that all this gentleness and care is just flying by and she feels like she can't grab onto any of it and hold it, and maybe this is the one chance she gets to be held and it's just going so fast

but then lara's guiding her to her feet and she's being led somewhere else, right into sophia's lap, and sophia's wrapping her arms around her and she's not letting go

megan can't get herself to relax at first because she's so convinced she's going to be pushed away the second she finally does, but sophia's murmuring something against her temple and rocking them back and forth a little. it takes a while but she eventually feels all that fight drain out of her and she just kinda goes limp

she's still digging her nails into her arm every so often to check that she hasn't fallen asleep or something, and manon's hovering off to the side so she catches it and has to press a hand to her mouth because she's seen that twice before and how could she have missed it a third time? she becomes so attentive to other habits megan has that might be hidden/unintentional s/h

like megan working up the courage to go find someone or seek some kind of comfort just to be unable to find anyone. and then the next morning when yoonchae is a little more clingy to lara and dani stays closer to sophia and manon wasn't even there last night and oh.

it reinforces that mentality that they don't notice her. maybe her sunglasses have created enough a barrier. maybe its something in yoonchae's eyes that makes her so much more loveable.

no it’s chill i didn’t need my heart in one piece or anything

it’s the middle of the night, she crashed on someone’s couch because she couldn’t bring herself to drive back to her apartment, and she wakes up mid-yell, already crying

for half a second she thinks someone is about to come running because there’s footsteps in the hallway but they’re going in the opposite direction of where she is

but she gets up anyways and ventures out into the dark—she keeps bumping into stuff because she doesn’t live here and she doesn’t know where any of these doors lead and where the hell is sophia? she wanders around in the dark for what feels like ages, cheeks still wet and hands still shaking. she can’t find anyone, her voice isn’t working well enough to call out, and she eventually just gives up and finds somewhere to wait out the rest of the night because she knows she won’t be able to get herself back to sleep

the next morning: see above. lara barely looks over when megan pads into the room; she’s trying to get yoonchae to eat or something

sophia sees megan come in and she goes to get up, but dani’s beside her looking wan and she grabs at sophia’s wrist tentatively when she starts to move and well, that stops that

cue megan not only feeling unseen, but like she keeps being the second pick. sophia won’t leave dani’s side for her. lara finally looks up and waves megan over, but then she’s on her feet again and walking in the wrong direction, off to get her phone or grab a hoody for yoonchae

megan’s staring down at the bowl of cereal she poured herself, thinking about how she could probably sit there so long it would turn into mush and still no one would sit down beside her and talk to her gently and ask if she’d rather have something else

she’s thinking maybe even if she’d been able to find someone, they would’ve shrugged her off and send her back to bed—to couch—or at best scooted aside to let her join without lifting the blankets for her or noticing the tears on her cheeks

she’s thinking she’s really done it this time. she’s put herself on an island so far offshore no one is willing to make the trip out there and she may as well get used to seeing nothing around for miles because her damn lighthouse doesn’t seem to work and everyone’s damn boats don’t seem to work either, at least not when it comes to her, because apparently everyone else is willing to swim to get to yoonchae on her island, which is much further out, in much rockier water, and somehow still gets more visitors than megan does

she can kinda peice together what’s happening and someone is HITTING her and they’re laughing about it but every swing she takes just hits the air and she can’t stop any of it from happening. yoonchae can feel her backpack being taken (turn the angst up to 10 and have her pink bunny be in her backpack and them just ripping it up because they can) and dumped out and that’s HER stuff. that’s not venom’s stuff or Spider-Man’s stuff, that’s yoonchae’s. It’s her binder that Lara picked out for her when she was too panicky to decide, the binder with her little black widow doodles inside the cover. and her laptop and her pencils and the folder that Sophia wrote her name on because Yoonchae still wasn’t used to actually writing out her own name.

Lara does not find Spider-Man in that alley. Sophia and Lara and Manon appear to find a sobbing, bleeding, 16 year old kid who’s totally, utterly powerless and exhausted. her pupils are dilated and her steps are weird and it takes her much too long to recognize the three of them. Yoonchae collapsing into Lara and Manon and realizing, for the first time in maybe her whole life, that she can trust them to keep her safe. because drug addled, disoriented, panicking mind is begging for her mom and only quiets when Yoonchae gets close enough to smell Lara’s perfume.

reference

dude my heart oh my god

the "let's mug this kid for her laptop/tablet" turns into "hey look at this, what kind of high schooler carries around a stuffed rabbit??"

it feels sickeningly apt that this is the most helpless yoonchae has ever felt because her autonomy as yoonchae, like you said, not as venom or as spider-man has just been ripped out from under her. hybe wasn't testing spider-man. they were testing a kid with a stuffed animal in her backpack. and her stuff is being taken from her, and destroyed, and she can't do a goddamn thing about it no matter how hard she tries

But

Early KATSEYE days Spideychae who “goes to bed early” while the others are up together watching a movie or talking and laughing. She’s up in the vents watching because she feels like she makes things weird and wrong.

:((

Megan who underwent unknown medical procedures that left her scarred and terrified and alone and Dani who was for sure experimented on in the red room. Also Manon who was exposed to the effects of drugs and addiction through the circus and that’s her baby Yoonchae who has had it rough enough as it is.

Also Yoonchae stumbling home dazed and out of it and can barely remember her own name (and highkey being so scared/ anxious but she just can’t get her brain to WORK) and seeing Lara and relaxing just a little and Lara realizing that in Yoonchae’s eyes she’s safe.

But also Yoonchae not making it all the way home. Like she gets on the wrong train or takes a wrong turn and is then left defenseless somewhere she doesn’t know…

ALSO it reinforces her fear of the medbay

oh dude you're so right i didn't even think about that

it opens up so old fears for them BIG time. like, yes, they're all really worried about yoonchae, but it's loud in the back of megan's mind that hybe can just. do that. to any of them. they didn't ask, hell, they didn't even tell anyone that it was happening in case it didn't go well. and what if it hadn't gone well? she just can't stop thinking about how if hybe's willing to do it to yoonchae, they're probably willing to do it to her too. and dani just being so furious because one of the things hybe promised when she defected was that she wasn't going to end up as a test subject. and when yoonchae defected, she brought it up again. so either hybe doesn't respect yoonchae as much as they respect her, or they don't give a damn about either of them and are totally chill with upending contracts for their own benefit

and how horrifying for yoonchae. she's called in straight from school, not knowing at all what's about to happen to her, and they don't really even do her the courtesy of letting her know what's going on. they just stick her in a chair and come at her with a syringe and she barely even has time to be upset before she's just so disoriented, which is even scarier than just being unaware. because she knows something is off but she can't figure out what and her brain's just not cooperating and she can't remember which train or which stop and—

a very panicky-and-trying-not-to-be spideychae stranded in a city she's not actually all that familiar with, barely able to stand up straight, much less walk without looking like something is seriously wrong with her (which, it is). her scrambled brain is trying to piece together some kind of explanation and what it comes up with is a sickening amalgamation of all the fears she has about hydra coming back, about being abandoned by the team, about becoming venom again and not being able to do anything about it

so now she's stranded, defenseless, and of course lara realizes the tracker in yoonchae's backpack is in the complete wrong part of the city and practically mobilizes an entire army to go after her, and yoonchae practically falls over with relief when she makes out lara's face, but in the in-between? before lara gets there? angst possibilities abound ! maybe there are tracksuits out and her addled brain thinks hey let me get them back for messing with megan and takes a pretty rough beating for her efforts. or she just gets plain old mugged for her school stuff, which is pretty nice because lara bought it for her