Merry Chrismas @statusquoergo​!

AU First Date: Part 2 of 2

Mike is a barista, Rachel is a lawyer, and Harvey is paid excessive amounts of money to plan their joyous Christmas wedding.

(Written as part of 2017′s @marveysecretsanta​ for @teamfreewill-​.)

Hanging around a neighborhood bar one night, Harvey befriends a guy named Mike after realizing they can both quote The Princess Bride on demand.

In the law offices of Rand, Kaldor, Zane and Pearson, senior partner Harvey Specter takes on an unusual case, representing his managing partner's daughter as she divorces a Michael James Ross.

Harvey sees no connection until it's far too late.

Merry Christmas, @andthetardis!!!

Title: you are the bread to my butter    

Rating: Explicit, just to be safe

Warnings: none

Wordcount: 7211

Summary:  “Excuse me, what did you just say?”

“I said, for a fraud this isn't half bad.”

On a bad day at the firm, Marcus drags Harvey to Mike’s restaurant. Mike who has a Michelin star but has never been to a culinary school. His revenge for the off-handed comment is served hot.

Notes: When I read these prompts I kinda wanted to them all but I ended up doing this one. I hope you like it and can excuse my absolute lack of knowledge about haute cuisine.

****

For a week, a package appears on Harvey’s desk every day.

There’ve been rumors - most of them conjured up by Donna - that he has finally reached a stage in his career where people send him chopped-off body parts.

He doesn't confirm or deny any of them.

It's also Donna who plants herself on the opposite side of his desk on day six, her hands at her hips in her “no nonsense” - pose.

“Okay, Harvey, let's hear it. Who is she? Or he? I'm not judging.”

Harvey eyes her over the edge of his laptop screen. “You're Donna. You judge. It's your default setting.”

“Don't deflect. What is it with the packages? Is it some weird lawyer subscription box I don't know about?”

“Like that would ever happen.” He leans back in his chair. “If you must know… It's food.”

“Food.”

“Food.”

Merry Christmas, @lifliflifr!!!

Title: Enspelled

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: none

Wordcount: 6040

Summary: Mike is marrying Rachel for real this time, and Harvey will employ any means necessary to stop it from happening.

Notes: Merry Marvey Christmas! I hope this is what you wanted.

****

Harvey charged into Spell Craft, sending the bell over the door rocking and jangling out a shrill warning. His heart pounded in his chest, which barely contained the panic percolating inside him since he’d gotten the news. He scanned the store frantically for Sebastian, and spotted him stocking shelves in the far corner. As Harvey strode back to confront him, the thick scents of copal resin, sage and sandalwood assaulted his nostrils.

“Mike’s getting married,” he choked out.

Sebastian’s startled grey eyes regarded him through the scratched lenses of his thick, black glasses. Half a dozen boxes of tarot cards slipped from his grasp and tumbled to the floor. “That’s impossible. The binding …”

“Was crap, as it turns out. I should have known better to believe in any of this … this bullshit.” Harvey waved an arm violently around the occult store.

“W-wait. N-no. No, no.” Sebastian held out a hand, as if he expected Harvey to take a swing at him. “That binding spell was perfect. S-some of my b-best work.” He took a step away from Harvey, backing into the shelves and sending more cards and books to the floor.

Merry Christmas, @tastymoves​!!!

Title: A Specter-Ross Affair

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: none

Wordcount: 18777

Summary: “You ordered an ‘extra-hot, extra-wet cappuccino, single-origin, properly layered, to-go and ready five minutes ago to make up for your service speed or lack thereof.’”In which Mike is a barista, Rachel is a lawyer, and Harvey is paid excessive amounts of money to plan their joyous Christmas wedding.

Notes: Dear Sway, I love your writing, and I really hope you enjoy this story!

****

Love is just a particularly socially accepted form of fraud.

It’s a series of increasingly complex and fragile deceptions between two or more people and, more alarmingly, between each participant and their own deluded subconscious. This is one of Harvey Specter’s cardinal rules, sandwiched neatly between “always let the client think they’re right” and “assume the client is never right.”

Right now, in this overpriced mall coffee shop, Harvey takes a second to remind himself of that rule.

“What did you just say to me?”

Merry Christmas,@goddamnmikeross!!!

Title: Animal Firm

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: none

Wordcount: 10701

Summary: “I doubt it,” the voice says, and this time there is no denying that it’s coming straight from the dog.

He looks at it.

The dog looks back.

“What the fuck,” Mike whispers.

(In which Mike can suddenly talk to animals and the consequences are nothing he ever expected.)

Notes: Merry Christmas and happy Holidays, Moritz! I hope 2018 was good to you and 2019 will be even better, and of course that you like your gift! <3

*****

“Look, you can argue all you want, I stand by what I said. I’m not giving up my firm.”

“Your firm? We’ve been over this, Cliff, a hundred fucking times. It isn’t your firm. We built it up together, remember?”

Mike shuts his eyes, barely resisting the urge to groan. Harvey and he have been sitting here for over an hour with this couple going through the divorce from hell, which is unfortunate since it’s up to them to ensure that both parties are satisfied. Which is impossible, not least because they can’t spend a minute in the same room without nearly killing each other. Mike will be surprised if they leave here with everyone in one piece.

How Harvey is keeping a straight face through all of this, he has no idea.