#maple writes

The long anticipated letter is underwhelmingly plain. For a seemingly magic object it looks like every other white envelope, but nevertheless, it's here and Jungwon knows exactly what's written inside.

A formal invitation toThe South Korea Wish Committee Office in two months. The last step to finalise his one and only wish that everyone is granted on their twenty-first birthday. The last step to accomplish to be able to wake up on the ninth of February and celebrate his birthday with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

To say Jungwon has done the rest of the steps would be an understatement.

Of course, being twenty-one years old is a big check mark on the “how to get your wish” to-do list, you just have to survive until then, really. Jungwon is sure surviving just three more months will be just as easy as the 249 he’s already lived. Then obviously the visit to the Committee Office around a month before the big day, so they can make sure whatever the birthday person wishes for doesn’t go against the law of South Korea. 

But everything before that? Like the fact Jungwon has to have a wish written down or even thought of?

He doesn’t even have concepts of a wish.

Yeah. Jungwon is screwed.

Or he will be if he doesn’t think of a wish within the next two months.

After much pondering and no luck, he goes to the rest of the members for help.

“It doesn’t have to be anything grand, just correcting a small inconvenience for a day.” Says Jay. On his twenty-first birthday, Jay wished to not be allergic to cats for a day. They spent the day going to a cat cafe and filming a little vlog with the whole group. 

Sunoo, on the other hand, gives him the exact opposite advice. “Really think about it. Don't tell yourself the biggest wishes will be turned down because they might not be. You deserve the best, Jungwon!”

Jungwon doesn't know what to do with that. Especially knowing Sunoo acts like he beat the odds with the most normal wish ever. He still remembers the day Sunoo told him his wish - to have clear, shiny skin for the rest of his life . It's really nothing grand, but Jungwon finds it cute how passionate Sunoo is about it.

In desperation, he even goes to Ni-ki to ask him what he plans to wish for. “Fuck if I know. I’d just wish for the first thing that comes to my mind, I do not care to make it huge.”

Jungwon looks at him, face going deeper and deeper in thought.

“But hey, don’t stress about it, you’ll figure it out. Wish for… a week of vacation… in Bali!”

He wants his wish to just come to him like that.

Three weeks go by and Jungwon still doesn't have a wish. With the Daydream promotions in full swing, end-of-year award shows around the corner, as well as having zero clue what to wish for, he still hasn't got anything and he's growing anxious. He knows he should at least have an idea, something he can build on because time is running out, but it’s like his whole mind and body are on a loop of practice-lead-perform-sleep. He hasn’t even found time to catch up with the show he and Jay started a while ago. It’s a wonder he remembers to give Engene daily updates on Weverse.

Now he has a little bit over a month before he has to go to the office to run his wish by them and he really wants to have everything figured out sooner rather than later. He doesn't want to use his wish for a lame last minute idea.

The inspiration comes a few days later. 

It's snowing. 

Finally snowing, a proper snowfall, one so pretty and calming you can't help falling in a trance looking up. And boy does Jungwon get dizzy looking out the window of his dorm.

The season’s first snow has always been special. As it’s falling down, covering the city with a thick sheet of snow, it reminds Jungwon of finally laying in bed after a long day. Telling him to relax, the ugliness of real life and its problems covered with a warm white blanket as the quietness of the night lulls him to slumber.

Jungwon loves snow. It’s beautiful today too, like it has always been. It reminds him of Jay.

He wants to go out with Jay.

Jungwon was going to go on a walk either way but the timing couldn’t be more perfect. Both of their schedules were done for the day and they didn’t have anything scheduled until afternoon the next day. Jay was technically free.

As Jungwon reached for Jay’s door handle, the door swung open from the inside.

Jungwon jumped back a little surprised. “Oh, hi!”

“Hey.”

Jungwon smiled dumbly, seeing Jay completely erased his mind. What was he here for again?

His boyfriend however had no memory trouble. “I was going to go find you.”

Jungwon’s mind was filled with a dense fog of You look so good kiss me kiss me kiss me . “Oh. I came to find you too.” Yeah. The fog was still there but that sounded like what he was there to do.

“I was going to go find you to propose that-” Jay’s eyes suddenly widened as he tripped over his words. ” I mean, ask you if you wanted to go outside right now. On a walk. With me” he added for good measure.

“That’s what I came to ask you about!” Jungwon exclaimed, the fog disappearing.

“Okay great, it’s a date!” Jay smiled. ”I’ll get ready then and then I’ll see you downstairs.”

Jungwon nodded, went back to his room to dress up and 5 minutes later waited for Jay at the front door.

There are people. So many people. 

Not even a few hundred meters in their walk, the street is flooded with people. Not crammed per say and not enough people that they’d be stopped on every corner by a fan but enough to be concerned about their privacy. Their face masks are up and they’re walking with at least an arm’s reach between each other.

It’s awful, Jungwon decides. The beautiful snow and his beautiful hyung out here with him but there is no way they can call this a date.

They steer into a nearby park, it’s a little more quiet than the street. On a secluded path they break the silence.

“I want to kiss you so badly.” Jungwon confesses.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry.”

Fuck this night, honestly. It’s so beautiful and yet Jungwon can’t do anything to actually make the most of it. He wants to kiss Jay. He wants to hold Jay’s hand. He wants, wants, wants.

He looks around and sees a woman and her boyfriend running around having a snowball fight, their giggles sounding through the park. He’s jealous of them. A little to the right there’s an elderly couple, snuggling together with cups of steamy hot chocolate in their hands. He’s jealous of them too.

It’s not just couples either. Families, groups of friends have all conquered the streets tonight to enjoy the first snowfall with each other. It feels like the whole damn city has gone out. The risk of them running into a fan or somebody stalking them might be about the same as in the middle of the day next to HYBE, Jungwon supposes.

Usually they could find a more private path to walk down while holding hands, today they can't even dare to walk shoulder to shoulder. It pains them but that's a sacrifice you have to make, being a kpop idol.

They get back to their dorms an hour later, hearts heavier than before they left. Jungwon especially seems uncharacteristically gloomy. Jay pulls him down in his bed and embraces him until they fall asleep.

It's a surprise they are the only ones to talk about their hang out , as they've rephrased it for fans and staff. Either way, even if nobody actually recognised them that time they could and they have done that other times, which is why they have to be mindful of the affection they show for each other in public even in their downtime. 

It pains them. 

It pains Jungwon—in fact, it angers him. He should be able to spend time with his boyfriend the way other couples can. 

Jungwon loves spending time with Jay. He loves having late night movie dates or just regular sleepover dates. Cooking dates they do in their dorm kitchen and board game dates that turn into bantering dates as Jay inevitably starts losing. Gym dates when Jay is working out and 

Jungwon is keeping him company. 

He just wants to have the other kinds of dates too.

Shopping dates and picnic dates. Museum dates. Cinema dates. Arcade dates. Coffee shop dates and dinner dates, proper ones, where they can dress up for the occasion and gift flowers to the other, and chat while they wait for the food they're going to share in candlelight.

He just wishes he could have a real public date . 

That's it.

That's the wish. 

Jungwon's ecstatic, not only does he have his wish now, he actually has a way to grant it. Excitement grows by minute as he pictures the day, what they would do on their date out. There is no time to waste and Jungwon gets to work, putting down all the details, finding the best phrasing for the best experience.

After brainstorming some date ideas, he asks himself, does he let Jay know about all this or let it be a surprise? He has no doubt Jay would love his wish, so he decides on it being a secret for now. Then comes the technicalities. What if they get captured in the back of somebody’s photo? If everyone forgets their famous identities , does that include their families, Enhypen and staff?

It’s a little tricky, but he gets it done and polished, and soon enough comes the day he has to make his way to the Committee Office to make it official. He is sat down in front of a room of a Pok Yeonghee, as the sign next to it supplies, and waits to be asked to come in.

It dawns on him suddenly, that even though he isn’t scared, this will still be the first time he is coming out to a stranger. He’s only out to the rest of Enhypen, his immediate family and he suspects their manager also knows something’s up, especially after Jungwon went up to him to ask his and Jay’s schedules to be cleared for his birthday. 

This, however, is a new situation entirely and therefore there's a reason to be wary. 

He doesn’t have much time to dwell on how he truly feels about that because he’s rushed in Pok Yeonghee’s office.

“Good morning!” Jungwon bows.

“Good morning, Jungwon.” Pok Yeonghee gestures to the seat on the other side of her desk. ”Please sit down.”

Jungwon sits down, his demeanor confident like always, but inside he discovers a spark of doubt. What if he gets denied? He doesn’t even have a back-up wish.

Pok Yeonghee sees right through him. Or maybe not, maybe it’s just something she says to every birthday-person. “Don’t worry, everything you say here is confidential and I will help you find the best wish I can legally grant you.”

Jungwon nods.

An awkward silence fills the room. For some reason, Jungwon feels small. He has never felt this way and he shouldn’t, but he can’t explain it. 

“I assume you have at least an idea of what you want to get.”

“Yes, sorry.” Jungwon takes out the piece of paper with all his ideas. He stares at it, hesitantly fidgeting with the paper, before pushing it forward on the table. “Here it is, it’s just… personal.”

“Depending on your wish, the number of people knowing about the details would be me and one or two other people, however it is perfectly fine if you want to include anyone from the Wish Committee forgetting about it after your birthday as a part of your wish. In which case the only record of it would be the papers you sign on your wish agreement that will be stored in our highly secured archive,” Pok Yeonghee explains. 

“Okay, I got it.” Jungwon said, easing up.

Pok Yeonghee takes Jungwon’s paper. “Like I said, it is against policy for me or anyone to share wishes to other people, companies or institutions unless there’s a credible reason for it, for example if you’re ever under an investigation and your wish is relevant to the case.” 

“Yeah, okay I get that.”

The other gives a reassuring smile before looking down at the note. Jungwon watches her read it, noting that coming out through a note definitely feels easier than saying it aloud. 

It doesn’t take her long to finish it.

“Oh, Jungwon, I’m so sorry you are in this situation.” Pok Yeonghee says, giving the paper back to Jungwon. “So it sounds like the core idea is that you want you and your boyfriend to become invisible for a day, is that correct?”

It feels so liberating to hear an outsider acknowledge his relationship and Jungwon can’t wait to feel how it will feel being seen as a couple by much more when the day comes.

“Yes!” Jungwon agrees. “Well, it’s that I want our identities as idols to be invisible, I want everyone to see us, just that they don’t recognise us.”

“I see. Well, okay here is the thing,” Pok Yeonghee says, her tone serious, but compassionate. “I believe you mean well with your wish and I trust that you are not wishing for it to break any laws, in fact I personally can’t see any way your wish will let you get away with anything illegal.”

Jungwon’s heart sinks as he feels a “but” coming. 

It’s exactly what Pok Yeonghee delivers.

“However I will still have to mark your idea as Ambiguous if you decide to go forward with it, do you know what that means?”

On one hand, Jungwon thinks, if his wish was straight up denied, Pok Yeonghee would’ve said it by now, on the other, there’s still something clearly wrong with his wish and Jungwon doesn’t know what it is. He feels a ball in his throat anyway. Stupid universe, can’t even date his boyfriend publicly for a single day.

He decides to trust Pok Yeonghee. He trusts that kindness he felt radiating from her. 

Not trusting his voice, he shakes his head no.

“From the Government’s view, your wish is ambiguous enough for there to be a loophole neither you nor I can see right now. Now don’t worry, that doesn’t mean we can’t let you submit it, it just means a couple more people will have to approve it and we will have to assign a supervisor to check if you do not exploit any loophole.”

It doesn’t sound that bad, well, she did just say they can allow it, it sounds like it just won't be as planned. “A supervisor? In what way?”

“You will be able to have your public date only if you agree that there will be a person following you all day. He will watch you from afar and be able to arrest you if you do end up exploiting the wish for anything illegal. You can add a line in your wish that the supervisor forgets about it at the end of the day.”

Jungwon nods. “Okay yeah if that’s what it takes to get my date I’m okay with that.”

“Great! Let’s get on with writing the official wish submission!”

With Pok Yeonghee’s assistance they write down every smallest detail of the wish, from Jungwon’s wants to legal dealings. He notes how they don’t experience homophobia from anyone or appear together in anyone’s cameras, which, in hindsight, is probably why he would need a supervisor. He finds it a little weird how he must specifically state time in Korean time zone and full names of both him and Jay, but when it comes to the supervisor he is ordered to just write down Steve , but honestly who is he to question that?

He thanks Pok Yeonghee for her help and kindness, and leaves the Wish Committee office building excited for his birthday. 

That evening he lets Jay know that his wish involves him. Now all he has to do is wait for the big day, and oh boy, Jungwon can’t wait for the best date of his life.

A month passes by faster than race cars on a course and Jungwon wakes up to a smell of something baked and fresh.

Jay walks in the warmly sunlit room with a plate of pancakes and a cup of something steamy inside, smiling when he sees Jungwon stretch out like a cat. 

“Good morning baby,” Jay says, setting down his cooking before leaning over Jungwon and giving him a nice good kiss. He kisses just long enough to give an equally good smack on his ass. “Happy birthday!”

Jungwon giggles letting his hands fall from Jay’s neck to his arms. “Thank you!”

“I made you pancakes and tea.” Jay leans over to grab the plate and gives it over to Jungwon.

“I can smell that, thank you.”

Jay gives his sweetest smile, the one Jungwon fell in love with. “The best breakfast in bed for the best birthday boy.”

“Well I’ll be the judge of that,” Jungwon says, stabbing a pancake on his fork. 

Jay watches as Jungwon munches on the mini pancakes. “So what’s your wish and how does it involve me?”

“You’ll see.” Jungwon smirks.

Jay’s eyes widen and face grows serious. “You didn’t, um… book like a… sex dungeon, right?”

Jungwon almost chokes as a chuckle escapes “No, not at all. Fuck, actually I should’ve done that.”

Jay exhales in relief. “Good, I’m not ready for that.”

Jungwon playfully punches Jay in the leg.

Jay jumps to defence. “Yet! Not ready yet .”

Jungwon rolls his eyes, amused smile on his lips, and goes back to his breakfast.

“But I guess we can start getting ready for the actual wish.” Jungwon announces, putting the last of the pancakes in his mouth. Getting up from the bed he quickly tidies the space around before walking towards the bathroom. “I’ll see you in 15 minutes at the door. Dress warmly.”

When both of them are ready, boots and scarves on, Jay follows his boyfriend to the building entrance. “You’re being very secretive about what we are doing.”

Jungwon turns to look at him, ignoring his comment. “Do you trust me?”

Jay is a little taken aback. “Of course.”

Jungwon just smiles, takes Jay’s hand intertwining their fingers and opens the door. 

As they walk out on the street and immediately see quite a few people, Jay’s hand falters, but Jungwon’s grasp is stronger. It takes just a few minutes for Jay to realise that Jungwon is determinately pulling him somewhere towards the HYBE building. Panic grows as they pass more and more people and he tries to pull his hand away in fear of any of them seeing him and Jungwon, hand in hand. Jungwon only squeezes harder.

When they’re next to the HYBE building Jay finally manages to withdraw his hand from Jungwon’s hold. Both of them stop as Jay quickly glances around to see if anyone saw them.

“No, hyung.” Jungwon turns to face him. Seeing the fear in Jay’s eyes, he takes Jay’s hands back in his. “Look around.”

Jay does. He looks away from Jungwon and really takes a look at the people. An elderly couple just a few feet away from them, strolling on their Sunday morning walk. A family across the street getting into a car, on their way to the cinema. A policeman writing a parking ticket for a car behind them. They don’t look their way.

Then there’s a couple of young women, talking loudly right in front of HYBE, with cute backpacks and photo card holders attached. Jay recognises one of the girls as a frequent Enhypen fansign attender. None of them seem to care their idols are just a couple meters away. Holding each other’s hands too.

Suspiciously, not one of them is paying attention. By this point they would’ve definitely been spotted, had a camera shoved into their face and had to have run into the building for protection.

But why aren’t they staring at them?

Jungwon sees Jay’s eyebrows furrow, sensing he still needs a little push. So he cups Jay’s cheek and leans in to kiss him.

Jay’s instincts come over him and he immediately pushes Jungwon away. Terrified, he looks around again. 

No one looks back.

He flips his head back to Jungwon, searching his face for something. “Everyone’s…”

Jungwon smiles.

“That’s the wish? That nobody cares?” Jay’s eyes turn watery with the realization that Jungwon did this. For them.

“Yes!” Jungwon chuckles, leaning in again for a quick kiss. “Now come on, we only have today.”

“Our first stop is the art museum!” 

They’re walking past buildings and people, swinging their intertwined hands and smiling like complete idiots. It’s weird, or rather just unfamiliar, being out and around ordinary people and blending in, even to Jungwon, who’s imagined this every night since he got the idea.

Jay’s hand in Jungwon’s, however, still feels a little unsure.

“Can you tell me the full details of your wish so I know what exactly we are allowed to do or not?”

“Yes.” Jungwon looks at him for a brief second, squeezing his hand. ”It is specifically that everyone can see us but nobody knows we are idols just for today. No camera can capture us and nobody remembers seeing us after today.” 

Immediately, Jay’s being changes and he seems more confident. “Okay, okay. What about our schedule?”

“I got the manager to clear everything for today for the two of us. I still have to do a birthday live, but I managed to make him agree on putting it in the evening,” Jungwon states. “Actually, I think he might know about us so we should probably expect a meeting about that.”

Jay nods. “Okay, that’s fine I mean, it’s about time. Is that it?”

“Oh! No, actually. Speaking of…” Jungwon stops and starts to look around. ”I had to agree that we would be supervised.”

Jay starts looking around himself. “Supervised? What do you mean?”

“Somebody named Steve is going to spy on us all day. Just to make sure we don't do anything illegal because, you know, I had to write in that we don’t appear on cameras, which would include security cameras and all that.” Jungwon stopped panning, now staring in one place, or rather on one person. “There!”

Jay gets yanked in the direction they just went, towards a person who looks… suspicious to say the least. He has no time to object as Jungwon approaches the tall man. 

“Are you Steve?” Jungwon asks. 

The man in front of them has an unreadable expression as he stares at Jungwon, then Jay. “You don’t need to acknowledge me.”

“Sure thing Steve!” says Jungwon, unfazed, and that’s all it takes for him to go back to pretending it is truly everyone around that doesn’t know them.

The day is too short for Jay to care if one person knows either, he decides.

Upon entering the gallery, Jungwon and Jay start sweating almost immediately due to the heating, so they hurry to the cloakroom after buying the tickets. Soon enough they’re surrounded by paintings and sculptures, and they stroll around for the next hour, Jungwon clinging onto Jay’s elbow and pointing to both every impressive and every mediocre art piece that catches his eyes.

“Look, it's us!” he says, pointing to a painting of a city panorama. There, in the corner, on one of the buildings, two cats are pictured sitting next to each other, overlooking the city. It is them.

Throughout the tour, Jay finds out there are a lot of them . Jungwon sees them in two raindrops, dripping closer and closer to each other until they meet at the bottom of a photograph; in two posts on a fence in front of a cute painted cottage, one post leaning on towards the other; and then, of course it’s them in the two lovers holding hands on a swingset, and a couple sitting on a bench under the moonlight, and another one kissing and-

Jungwon finds him and Jay in the ordinary and the extraordinary.

Jay finds him and Jungwon a deserted hallway to make-out in. 

Steve finds them in that hallway a few minutes later, sneaks up and whisper-yells, “PDA guys!”

Warm and relaxed they walk out of the art gallery. Jungwon takes Jay’s hand in his pocket for warmth. “Well we have been pretty quick with the museum so we are ahead of schedule”

“So what’s next?”

“Next I have booked us a dance class for couples.” 

Jay furrows his brows. They’re already professional dancers, what classes would they need to take?

Jungwon reads his thoughts. “Watz. It is in around an hour and it takes half of that to get there so we have some time.”

After getting a hot chocolate each from a convenience store, they decide to take a longer path to the dance lesson through a square, which, funnily enough, today is a place for a K-pop random dance event.

People stand in a crowd around a temporary wooden stage as WiggleWiggle by Hellovenus just finishes playing. Jungwon and Jay join the crowd, watching fans join the stage in groups to dance along to their favourite songs, then go back to the crowd like clockwork.

Jungwon pulls Jay’s arm. “Oh my god, hyung, wouldn’t it be fun if we joined?”

“I really don’t think we should.”

“Oh come on, nobody knows us, have you never wanted to just join in one of these?”

Jay has. He really wants to now, and while his mind keeps telling him every reason he shouldn’t, today really is the only opportunity he will ever have-

The speakers stop his thoughts. And now for our Valentine's day special, this one is for the couples . A familiar melody follows it.

Of all songs, it starts playing Bite me.

Jungwon’s face lights up. “Jay this is perfect, oh my god!”

And suddenly Jungwon is pulling Jay through the crowd and towards the stage, and Jay no longer protests because, yes, their song playing at a random dance event on the day nobody knows who they are is perfect. Jungwon snatches the drink from Jay’s hand and sets it and his own cup on the ground. They let their jackets fall into a pile and run on stage just in time for the pre-chorus to start. 

It's thrilling to dance like they’re fans and the wish for sure works because they would have been welcomed with screams any other day. Then the chorus starts and Jay is in front of Jungwon, and for the first time his dance partner is staring into his eyes. Back when Dark Blood was just about to be released they did this, when practice ran late into the night and all the dancers had gone home, all of them had subbed in as dance partners for others at some point. 

This time however the atmosphere is far from goofing around at practice. Jay’s eyes are fixated on his like he will indeed tie and bite him, and Jungwon stares back with mutual intensity.

Jungwon has never felt this way dancing to Bite me. Jay whipping his head as he holds onto his waist is definitely a sight he won’t forget any time soon. 

Soon the song ends and the boys come out of the trance to the crowd cheering. As they gather their jackets, some people around them compliment them on their dancing and chemistry. Jay and Jungwon love the attention. If only they knew the two of them were professionally trained to perform. 

Leaving the square, they pass by Steve, who’s leaning against a building. He looks totally unimpressed, if not annoyed. “You guys are pushing the limits of the wish, Jesus Christ…”

Waltzing is… different. It’s definitely not what Jay and Jungwon are used to, however it is not a bad experience in any way. Both of them get praised for their ability to follow the rhythm and learn the specific moves, as most couples in the class have no dancing background, but dancing with someone else so close is unusual. Besides for parts in Bite Me, they’re not really known for doing pair dances, so naturally, even though they dance daily, it feels a little strange.

After the first initial tiny mistakes they get carried away and Jungwon loves moving around with his boyfriend, in sync with each other swaying along to the music coming from the stereo in the corner of the room.

They’re the only gay couple here, but the teacher let them know before the lesson that everyone is welcome to learn waltz and if there’s any trouble between other pairs, to let her know and she’ll sort it out. The teacher herself is accompanied by her partner, both on the older side, but still moving elegantly like the youngsters. Jungwon and Jay are the youngest here, the rest of the pairs being in their late twenties at minimum. 

Thirty minutes in they take a small break, and while Jay goes to the toilet Jungwon converses with one of the other couples. A woman named Yunji tells Jungwon the story of her engagement with her fiance Youngsu, about the surprise but immediate contentment of a future with her then boyfriend.

She asks Jungwon if he wants to get married to Jay. Jungwon thinks before quickly coming to a decision with ease. Marriage or not, he wants Jay in his future in any way. He has no doubt Jay feels the same way.

After the calorie burning (even if waltzing isn’t the most energy-draining activity) they head straight to a restaurant. Not having eaten since breakfast, they’re quite hungry in the afternoon, and what would a date be without a romantic meal?

Jungwon eats together with Jay a lot, but this is a special occasion. For the first time ever, they can act like a couple, and even if a date is pretty much just a hang out, it just feels good to not hide the nature of their relationship.

Everything on the menu sounds delicious and it's not a hard decision to treat themselves to a full-course meal. 

When the waiter comes to take their order, Jay spots Steve just a couple of tables over sitting by himself. He points it out to Jungwon when the other is just done telling the waiter their order.

"And we'll have a bottle of Grenache for now," Jungwon orders, "but can I request something a little strange?"

"Sure what is it?" The waitress asks.

"Is it possible that we pay for anything the man with glasses over there orders?" he points to Steve behind.

The waitress hesitates, “I don't see why not.”

“And can you give him a glass of apple juice?” Jungwon smirks.

The dinner is going great, and the two boyfriends have a nice comfortable conversation. The food is immaculate and time is well spent. Laughing over a stupid pun Jay just said while waiting for the desert, Jungwon looks at the time on his phone.

It is half past four.

A sinking feeling creeps in his chest. They have less than 8 hours left of the wish.

“What’s wrong?” Jay asks.

“I just realised our time is running out.”

Jay takes Jungwon’s hand in his. “We still have a lot of time, don’t worry.”

“Yes but just think about it, we-”

“No, stop. Forget about it.” Jay scoots closer to Jungwon and kisses him. “See, I just kissed you. Everyone saw that.”

Jungwon feels the corners of his mouth give in and raise a bit.

”And I can keep kissing you, and I bet you will sooner become sick of me kissing than the wish will run out.”

Jungwon chuckles. “Do not underestimate me.”

“Yeah, I was too bold with that.”

After the dessert, they’re waiting for the paycheck when Steve decides to visit their table.

“Apple juice? Really?”

“Well you are on duty.” Jungwon states, his voice playfully argumentative. ”Sorry, are you more of an orange juice type of guy?”

Steve takes a few seconds for what Jay and Jungwon can only assume are for cooling down before muttering. “I can’t wait for this day to end.”

They walk out of the restaurant a little over five o’clock to Seoul being covered in a beautiful snowfall. Jungwon embraces Jay, looking up at the darkening sky.

“I wished for this, too.”

Cars go past, people walk by, but it feels like they’re alone. It’s remarkable how only a few hours have made both of them completely forget how they acted before the shield of the wish. They’ve always been aware of the crowd.

Jay looks at Jungwon. “The snow?”

Jungwon hums yes. “The first snowfall day. When there were too many people outside and we couldn’t be affectionate. That’s when I thought of this.”

Jay looks down at him with all the love (and hints of tears) in his eyes and the softest smile on his lips. “I love you so much. You have no idea.”

“I love you more.” Jungwon mirrors the smile.

“Debatable,” the other responds.

They go to the same park they went to on the very unfortunate date. The paths and the trees remind them of the bittersweetness of their current situation. While they are able to do all those couples-things they couldn’t do back then and in general, today is the only day they have and time is running out. Deep down the thought of the future is starting to hurt, but Jungwon just looks at Jay and decides they better milk this opportunity until the very last second. So they just get on with the winter activities ordinary couples like to do, starting with a visit to the nearby public ice skating rink. 

The first shaky steps on the ice give them their first regrets of the day. 

Clenching on wherever they can on the other — the jacket, arms, hands — they make a successful lap with only a single fall. It isn’t like they’re absolutely trash at ice skating, it’s just the first lap. That’s all there is. Still, they’d rather not have Sunghoon know.

Pink and red lights dance on the ice and the speaker system spreads well-known love songs across the rink, and Jungwon and Jay have gotten the rhythm of mostly-safe-and-successful skating. Which is exactly when a kid dashes past them, scaring Jay who loses his balance and falls on top of Jungwon.

The fall is a little painful for Jungwon as Jay’s full weight lays on top of him and he can’t help but notice how their crotches align with one another.

“This better not be some kind of voyeurism thing.”

Jay and Jungwon follow the sight of neatly-tied skates to sturdy legs all the way up to the face of the voice.

Steve has gracefully stopped right in front of their unlucky pile of limbs.

Jay immediately starts to get up and gives a hand to Jungwon. What is Steve doing skating here?

Jungwon straightens and brushes off snow from his back. “You know you can supervise from outside of the rink, why are you inside?”

“That’s none of your business.” 

Jay and Jungwon share a look. “Alrighty then!” Jungwon exclaims, clasps his and Jay’s hands together and skates away.

In their last minutes of skating they catch some glimpses of Steve elegantly swifting past people and giggle.

After getting a hot chocolate they decide to make a snowman. It’s a little wonky, both of the makers not having made one in years, but at least the snow is cooperating. 

Jungwon, however, isn’t, as Jay finds out. Just as he’s lifting the last ball for the head of the snowman, he hears a thump and feels a snowball hit him on his upper back. 

“Oh, it’s on…” He says, quickly making sure the head of the snowman is secure before bending down to make his own ammo.

Jungwon’s life flashes before his eyes but he shows none of that as he scurries away with a smile on his face. “No, please, that was a joke, just a joke!”

They spend the next few minutes in a full-on snowball duel, giggling as they playfight like they’re kids after school.

A little tired after the rolling and lifting, and the running and laughing, they fall just beside the snowman hand in hand and let the falling snow coat them for a few minutes while they catch their breath before ultimately deciding on making snow angels. The angels look way better than they expected and Jay is the one who suggests drawing a heart around them. 

Some old lady walks past them and calls them a cute couple.

For their first real public date, they surprise themselves over how proficient they have been with it. 

After hours of winter fun they have gotten a bit cold and honestly exhausted. Reality keeps hitting harder every minute and fuck do they really, really want to have other type of birthday fun, but they can’t just call it a day and end the effects of Jungwon’s wish. 

These are the last hours they will ever have on this date.

Not wanting to go home just yet, they roam on every possible path the park can provide. It’s starting to get a little late, with it being almost eight in the evening most people have ended their weekend and returned to their homes to get ready for the week ahead. Some people are still walking around however, on equally intimate strolls like that of Jay’s and Jungwon’s.

Snow is still falling and while it is starting to get seriously cold the love in their hearts warm them up. That and the dirty remarks they keep exchanging.

There are no activities Jungwon can think of for them to do other than just walk. It makes him a little disappointed in himself, but Jay doesn’t seem to mind the lack of plan, suggesting paths to take next.

Now that he thinks about it, this is the first time today Jay has taken the lead. And while it is nice to think Jay would acknowledge his work and exhaustion after planning today, Jungwon can’t seem to shake off the thought that Jay has some plan of his own. It’s like he’s determined to go somewhere specifically. 

His gut feeling ends up being right when Jay steers them off the path. The end destination, Jungwon finds, isn’t that far away from it, a large old tree that’s leaning to one side with an old bench just under it. It looks cozy and calming, and yet Jungwon doesn’t recall ever noticing this place. How did Jay know about it?

They take a seat on the bench and spend a few moments appreciating the scenery.

‘’Thank you for today, Jungwon,” Jay says after a while. “This is the best date I'll ever be able to experience.’’

The younger furrows his eyebrows. ‘’Don’t say that, of course we’ll have countless dates better than this.’’

Jay stares off into the distance. It’s time to say goodbye to their freedom. “Not for the foreseeable future though.”

‘’Well years down the line I'm sure we’ll be able to come out. Or we’ll be forgotten. And then it will be safe again.’’ Jungwon can’t help but doom too. This is it for their date and they will be able to experience this feeling only way into the future.

Jay looks at Jungwon and sees him looking at the ground. He can’t stand seeing his lovely boyfriend sad. 

Jay takes the other’s hands in his. 

“What I'm trying to say is that today was amazing. I loved all the things you planned and those that you didn’t plan.” Jay smiles gazing into Jungwon’s eyes. ”I’m grateful to have you, you are amazing, Jungwon.”

Jungwon finds his smile again. “Thank you for being so amazing yourself.”

“I was thinking today, and, well, a lot in these past months actually, how much I love you.” Jay turns to face Jungwon. “I worry when you’re feeling ill, my heart melts every time I hear your laugh and just five minutes with you where we sit in silence… Just feeling your presence, that's all I need to make my day.”

The other giggles. “Oh, you’re like Ken. ‘ Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him.’ ”

The older shakes his head but there’s a smile on his face. “You’re so stupid .” 

It sounds like an insult, but it is anything but that. Jay’s ‘stupid’ is filled with the same amount of love as ‘baby ’ and ‘sweetie’ .

“You are too.” Jungwon fires back.

Jay rolls his eyes, faking being annoyed. “Well you are lovely, and smart. And kind, and talented...”

“...And I’m really hot,” Jungwon adds.

Jay chuckles. “And you’re really hot.” 

They fall in a comfortable silence for a couple of moments, too busy with appreciating each other’s faces. 

Jay decides it is time.

“You said you thought of this wish on the first snowfall day. It was a special day for me too.”

“How so?” Jungwon asks.

“Because I wanted to do this.”

Jay opens the zipper on his jacket and reaches inside one of the pockets in the interior of it. He brings out a small black box and Jungwon stops breathing at the thought of what it could be. It all clicks in his brain, suddenly - the location, the talk... It all leads to the most important person in his life promising a future together.

Jay sinks down on his right knee and Jungwon's thoughts (and wishes) get confirmed. “Yang Jungwon, will you spend the rest of your life with me?”

Jungwon is too shocked to speak. It’s not like this is completely out of the blue, they’ve talked about possibly getting married and having a family, he just never imagined it becoming a reality this soon. But he isn’t complaining, oh god how much does he want to have that promise.

“Ye- woah wait!” Jungwon stops. “Why are you asking me to spend just one of our lives together? We are cats , Jay, we hav-”

“Gosh, Jungwon my knee is freezing, will you spend all of our nine lives together with me?!”

“Yes, yes! Oh my god, get up!” Jungwon cups Jay’s cheeks and pulls him up directly into his own face. His mouth is warm and tastes like a new beginning. After some time they end the kiss, but stay with their bodies glued to each other and Jungwon lets Jay put the ring on his finger.

They stay embracing each other for a while. Being in each other’s arms is the safest place in the universe.

Jungwon can’t believe he gets to spend the following eternity with his boyfriend. Fiancé , his mind corrects and Jungwon smiles at the correction. “Fiancé,” he whispers, and Jay whispers it back.

After a while Jungwon feels Jay’s hands slide from his upper back, to his waistline, then lower. “How about we go home and celebrate ?” He accentuates the last word with a squeeze of Jungwon's ass.

“Oh, absolutely.” Jungwon smirks, takes the other’s hand and together they walk back to the path.

Turning the corner they run into Steve. Who is… smiling?

“Congratulations, guys, I’m so proud of you!”

Jay and Jungwon look at each other with widened eyes. Steve clearly saw their engagement, but that’s not the most bizarre thing. There’s tiny tears in the corners of their supervisor’s eyes and he genuinely sounds happy, unlike earlier today, when his deep voice was nothing except serious. 

Steve is… touched?

Jungwon takes the lead. “Aw, Steve, thank you! We are so thankful for you. I’m sure we could get you an invite to our wedding when we get to it!”

Steve's smile drops and he’s back to his expressionless and lowkey annoyed self. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“Yeah, thought so,” Jay replies.

While they were trying to prolong the last moments of their wish magic just an hour before, now they’re practically skipping back to their dorms. The anticipation of what could be the best sex of their lives is growing by second and the wish is now long forgotten.

When they get to their dorms they stay for a quick goodbye to their favourite supervisor.

“Yeah well I’ll be here until midnight, making sure you’re not sneaking out.”

“Thank you for protecting us today Steve!”

“I really don't think you understand what I was here for today.”

The lovers pay no attention to that. “Okay, love you Steve, goodnight!” They wave back as they get inside their dorm building.

The way up to Jay’s room is a blur, they spend most of it trying to suck each other’s tongues out of their mouths. Stumbling inside Jay spends no time pushing Jungwon against the wall and the following pattern stays the same—kiss, groan, lick, moan—and yet Jungwon could never get bored of it. Jay grinds his rock hard crotch against Jungwon’s and he moans, which Jay answers with some more thrusts. 

Jay’s mouth starts conquering the rest of Jungwon's face, mainly steering lower towards his jaw and neck. There, he stops and starts small, weak bites accompanied by some sucking. Jungwon lifts his head away to give more room and it feels amazing. Jay’s mouth makes Jungwon melt and harden at the same time, and he is sure Jay’s sucking and biting is going to leave a mark, but it’s fine they don’t have anything tomorrow. Everything is hot, so hot and Jungwon can just relax and let Jay do whatever he wants to pleasure him because there’s nothing -

The live.

The fucking promised birthday live.

Jungwon nearly screams at the realization.

“Jay, wait, stop!” Jungwon exclaims before rushing to check two most important things—the clock and the mirror. His prayers are answered when he discovers it’s just a little over nine, a doable amount of time to be able to make it to the HYBE building, and Jay’s masterpieces on his neck being faint enough to be able to cover up.

He looks up to Jay who has never looked so concerned.

“Are you okay, what happened?”

Jungwon hurries across the room from his emergency make-up to hairbrush. “The live, Jay! I still have to do the live!”

“Oh fuck, do we still have time?” Jay asks. 

The word choice goes through Jungwon. We . Jay didn’t even ask if his presence was needed, he already knew Jungwon needed him there. They are one, Jungwon’s problems are Jay’s problems.

“Maybe if we run.”

They walk outside and start speed-walking towards HYBE but they’re stopped when they see Steve climb out of a car in front of them. 

In a stern voice he greets them. “Where are you going?”

“Steve! Oh my god, is this your car?”

“If you’re about to ask what I think you might-”

“Please, we need to get to HYBE right now can you drive us to-”

Steve groans, but gives in immediately after. “They don’t pay me enough for this. Get in!” He rolls his eyes.

Thankfully the drive is way much faster than running and Jungwon is glad he won’t be worn out and sweaty on the live. He responds to their manager’s texts (a whole ten of them!) saying he will be there in a second and that he was sorry.

Their manager is a little displeased but excuses Jungwon because it is his big birthday after all, and helps Jungwon get ready for the live. Jay is right next to them, assisting in any way possible and Jungwon is certain with all of the circumstances of them coming in together, late and on his wish birthday, that even the staff might suspect now. He really thinks they should come out to their manager sooner than later.

But now is not the time. The livestream starts and Jungwon has to get back into the mindset of being an idol and being in front of an audience. Jay is sat in the corner of the room off-camera and while Jungwon doesn’t need any more reminders of what they could be doing instead of sitting here, fortunately he is a great actor and all the dirty thoughts in his mind don’t show on his face.

It gets hard to ignore the thoughts at times, especially when Jungwon catches a glimpse of Jay and finds the other completely devouring him with his eyes, but Jungwon is being very brave and suppresses the temptation to just end the live then and there.

He manages to get through all of the member’s messages and other birthday live checkmarks in no time and ends the live thanking everyone for their “happy birthday”s. Thanking the staff he finally walks outside of the building with his fiancé’s hand in his and walks straight over to where they see Steve parked.

They are able to make him give them a ride back home, which Steve immediately regrets once they start making out in his backseat.

“Just so you know I can still arrest you for not properly wearing the seatbelt.”

“Isn’t that the driver’s fault?”

“God dammit, at least I will get my memory wiped after this.”

Edward Elric has never been a man of faith—even calling himself 'spiritual' would be a stretch. He most certainly would never call himself 'religious,' lest some teenage version of him keel over from humiliation. Still, as he nears the age of thirty, he can't deny the appeal of the beautiful cathedrals he wanders past each afternoon. One day, years and years ago, he even stumbled into one during some special Mass.

Half-drunk, half-angry, belligerent and inconsoleable once the liquor had distilled itself into tears, he tripped over his own leg and sprawled like a starfish in the aisle between the pews. The parishioners ranged from disgusted to empathetic, but all Edward had wanted was a fight. He'd wanted to shout, and curse, and beat the very God that had trapped him here—had trapped them all with false promises of better days to come.

"Don't you see?!" he wailed as some kind stranger rolled him onto his back. "What does it matter? What's the point?" No one answered him, really. He was scooped up and dragged to the priest's own lodgings for the night.

In the morning, he left drenched in sweat and shame, but not before the priest offered him an opportunity to confess any sins that may have been plaguing him at the time. Edward refused and told the man that he honestly thought that religion was pointless, a complete waste of time only intended to fool the masses and keep precious few in power.

He returned that night to use the confessional, anyway.

"Tell me, child, what troubles you?" the priest said from the other side of the partition.

Edward shook his head and cleared his throat, sure that the smell of alcohol had to be seeping through the holes in the screen between them. "I don't think…you won't believe me," he finally said, dropping his head back against the wall behind him. "'S'all bad. Everything I've ever done." The priest offered a hum of acknowledgement, and Edward felt stupid for even entering the church in the first place. There was no anonymity here—what other drunks had been offered refuge and comfort recently?

"Do you have…examples, maybe?" the other man asked, and Edward barked out a laugh.

"Oh, boy. Lots of 'em, I'm sure, but you'll think I'm crazy." Edward closed his eyes in the dark and took a deep breath, trying to focus more on its sound than the scent of incense that seemed baked onto every single surfance.

"We live in times of madness, my friend. I doubt your sins are much worse than anyone else's."

Ed paused his self-flagellation only briefly before letting out a long sigh. "I killed my mom. And my brother. And my dad." Silence rang between them, and he cleared his throat as discreetly as he could manage.

"Did you?" the man asked, "Or do you simply blame yourself?"

Edward thought hard about the question—harder than he probably should have, honestly, because he ended up vomiting all over the floor on his side of the partition.

For the second night in a row, Edward slept in the priest's spare bed, and for the second morning, he left the cathedral stinking of booze and regret.

Now, as Edward crosses the same threshold five years later, he can't help the way his entire being relaxes. He understands, as he does with most things these days, that religion is not some monolith of dishonesty as he once believed. He ducks his head in greeting when he sees the priest in the hallway, who offers him a kind smile in return.

"Edward! It's good to see you, son. Will you be staying for Evening Mass?" he asks, reaching for a handshake.

Edward chuckles wryly and clasps the other man's hand, grasping his arm with a grin. "I think you know the answer to that one, Father," he responds, a gentle denial that he's expressed dozens, hundreds of times before. "I'll clear out before people start filing in, don't worry."

"You don't have to, you know," the priest counters, tone as light and friendly as ever, and Edward simply shakes his head.

"I think it's for the best, Mike. I'm sure plenty of folks remember me well enough as the drunkard who spoiled your first Christmas here." Ed nods in toward the double doors that lead to the nave. "I'll only be a few minutes."

"Alright," Mike sighs, the noise exaggerated as he rolls his eyes good-naturedly, and Edward laughs. Mike releases Edward's hand and motions as if to usher him inside. "Be careful if you head up to the pulpit. We have someone here working on the altar."

"Finally getting a new one?" Ed asks as he places a hand on one of the doors and leans into it.

"Sister Violet was kind enough to offer the funds," Mike says, though his tone belies some underlying gossip that Edward would be all too happy to indulge in were he not so eager to leave before the service, "and to suggest a lovely young lady with the right talents to install it."

Ed laughs as he pushes his way into the chapel. "You'll have to tell me about it next time."

Mike pats him on the back with a laugh of his own and agrees, "Next time!" before continuing his path toward his quarters and leaving Ed alone.

Once inside, Edward takes a slow breath and closes his eyes, basking in the quiet that follows the sound of Mike's receding footsteps. When he opens his eyes again, though, the air in his lungs turns to lead. There, stood just in front of the altar, is probably the last person in the world who would want to see him right now. Before he can turn to leave, she lifts her gaze and pins him to his spot as recognition, then anger, then annoyance work their way across her face.

"Edward," she says curtly, turning back to her work with a speed that makes his head spin. "I thought you were anti-religion, or whatever." She holds a rag to the lip of a bottle and turns it to soak up some of its contents. Stain? Varnish, maybe?

He swallows around the lump that's settled at the back of his tongue, dropping his eyes to the floor and clearing his throat. "Y-yeah. I mean, I still…still am…but it's peaceful here, so…" He swears he can hear her roll her eyes. "I—look, I can go."

She sighs. "You're so dramatic." He looks up to see her facing him again, hands on her hips. "It's a public building."

He can already feel his cheeks flushing as he nods and glances away again, the thirty feet of space between them feeling both miniscule and insurmountable. "Right…"

When he meets her eyes once more, she gestures to the dozens of pews that line the aisle. "Well? Don't let me stop you." Edward ducks his head once in acknowledgement and makes his way to a seat as far from her place in the sanctuary as he can get.

There's an extended stretch of relative silence, but his thoughts are far too loud for him to enjoy it as he usually would. He studies the stained glass window closest to his chosen seat as his mind races in the least productive way possible. Before long, there's a hand on his shoulder that sends him scrambling over the raised bit of wood at the end of the pew, struggling to get his feet under him and turning to face whatever made the contact in the first place. When he finds her there, both hands raised in an effort to pacify him, his shoulders immediately slump.

"It's just me," she offers gently, and he sighs and runs his left hand through his hair. "I just wanted to…" she drops her gaze and lets her hands fall to the seat of the pew with a shrug, "…check in, I guess? Since you kind of disappeared on me."

Ed drags both hands down face before shoving them into his pockets with a slow exhale. "I'm…I've been okay," he replies, and for the first time in his life, he's pretty sure it's true. "Listen, Winnie, I'm sorry—"

She scoffs, but Ed's heart soars at the sound because at least she isn't crying. "It's not your fault," she mutters with a shrug. "I'm not her."

A pit settles in Edward's stomach. "And I'm not him," he says softly. There's a long pause as he stands and she sits. Soon enough, the first members of the congregation start to filter in, and Ed looks toward the entrance as the doors creak open and a couple of deacons kick doorstops beneath them. "You wanna get out of here?" he asks after a moment, and he's almost surprised when she agrees.

"Yeah, sure," she says, tone noncommittal even as she stands and rubs her hands up and down her thighs. "Let me just…pack up. I'll meet you outside?"

He nearly offers to help, but she's already halfway down the length of the pew before he can force out the words. Awkwardly, he strides toward the vestibule as slowly as he can and barely keeps himself from watching her as she moves. He manages to exit the building without being recognized or stopped again—Father Mike must be somewhere else, donning his robes, or saying his prayers, or whatever he does to prepare for Mass. After glancing up and down the street, he takes the steps down to the sidewalk and pulls a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, then the lighter she had given him for their first anniversary.

"You still have that?"

He turns at the sound of her voice, then looks down at the gift with a wry laugh. "Ah, yeah…I'm a sucker for nostalgia," he says with a shake of his head, then pulls out a cigarette for himself and holds out the pack. "Smoke?"

She raises a brow, but takes one from him anyway. "Since when?" She adjusts the bag slung over her shoulder and checks her pocket for a lighter of her own, but Edward strikes the flint on his and holds it up for her. She places the cigarette between her lips and leans forward to catch his flame, then straightens and takes a slow drag that leaves her in a sigh as she raises a hand to shield her eyes from the sun. "Thought your vice was booze."

Ed shrugs as he eyes her for a moment, then lights his own cigarette before tucking the pack and the lighter away. "Two? Three years? This is cheaper," he replies, though it's not entirely the truth. "Takes up less space, too. A carton of cigarettes is way smaller than the mountains of bottles I used to rack up." He takes a pull and shakes his head a tad. "Al got pretty fed up with the mess, so."

"I recall," she hums. "I thought I was gonna marry you, remember?"

He raises the smoke to his lips and inhales as his heart twists in his chest, and a strange silence settles between them. "What a mess that would have been," he mumbles, trying for humor where they both know there is none.

"You're telling me," she grouses. "You probably would've spent the wedding leaning on the altar." Edward feels sick.

"I really am sorry, Winnifred," he tries for a second time, and she sighs and reaches up to scratch at the scar above her eyebrow with her pinkie, cigarette held gracefully between her index and middle fingers.

"I know, Ed. I know you are." She steps back to allow a man past them, and Edward does the same. "So am I." She meets his eyes for the second time since he entered the church, and he feels just a little bit lighter for it. At least until she looks down again and scuffs her shoe against the ground. "Like I said, I…I'm not her. I'll never be her. And it wasn't…fair of me, I guess, to push things like I did."

Edward starts shaking his head before she's even finished speaking. "Winn, no. Okay? You're not—what I did to you was wrong. You're not some stand-in, alright? And I never should have treated you like one."

She wraps her arms around herself as a gust of wind rushes past them and gives him a conciliatory nod, though her shoulders find her ears in a stilted shrug. "I…appreciate that," she finally says, and Edward nods as she reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ear. "Well—hey, I've gotta get back, so…" She looks up at him again, and Edward feels like he's drowning. "It was good seeing you."

"I…y-yeah," he manages, ducking his head and flicking the ash from his cigarette as he eyes its dull ember. "You, too, Winnie."

There's a pause before she huffs, and when he looks up, she's digging through her bag for something. He blinks, and she's handing him a small piece of cardstock. "If you need anything fixed." Her eyes flit to his automail and back up, a silent reminder that they really are so similar.

"What—?"

"You're limping," she deadpans.

Ed's brows raise a tad, though he isn't sure why he's surprised by her perceptiveness. "It's the weather," he excuses, but he takes her card anyway. "But thank you. For the offer."

She squints, obviously skeptical. "The weather?"

"It rained all last week!"

She sighs and takes another drag of her cigarette as she considers him. "And that's all it is?"

"That's all it is," he confirms. He doesn't tell her about the broken elevator in his building, which has only exasperated the issue. He's been so sore for so long that he hardly notices the pain anymore, but she knows that. He tucks her card into the pocket in the inner lining of his coat.

"Well, I guess we were wrong, then." She wraps her hands around the shoulder strap of her bag. Edward must make a face that betrays his confusion, because she continues, "You don't need me."

The pit from earlier returns and somehow manages to simultaneously lodge itself in his throat and drop so hard into his stomach that he nearly doubles over. "I don't…Winn, that isn't—"

She shakes her head, and he stops talking. "No, it's good," she assures him. "That's a good thing." She lifts onto her toes and presses a kiss to his cheek before he can even process that she's moved and says, "You look good, Ed." She pats him on the chest, right over her card, right over his heart. "I've gotta go, but give me a call? We should catch up sometime."

Edward's hand covers his cheek as she walks away, and he can't hardly believe it. He finishes his cigarette on his own walk home, his pulse pounding in his ears as he replays the interaction again and again. By the time he reaches the apartment he shares with his brother, he's almost glad to find it empty. Once he's toed off his shoes and removed his coat, he takes a brief moment to consider her final words. He swallows down his anxiety, reaches into the inner lining, and pulls out the small card with little more than her name scrawled in her own handwriting.

General Repairs and Handiwork Freddie Rockwell Be sure to ask the operator!

Jedediah is, and always has been, a prideful man.  Sure, pride is one of those "seven deadly sins," but, well…shit—he always thought that must’ve been some sort of exaggeration, honestly.  How many men really died from greed?  Or lust, of all things?!  He's always just…assumed it was all a big scare tactic of sorts.  Something the church said to keep pants on the teenagers and keep folks from sticking their fingers in too many pies!  Keep them focused on what they're supposed to do, in a way.

No, Jedediah never did think his pride would be what killed him, but damn if he didn't leave for Santa Fe with a lick and a promise.  They’re a month and a half in, their canteens have dried up, and there’s been no rain for weeks.

He sighs as he stares down at the map laid out before him.  He reads his own script and reaches up to rub his forehead.  He presses his palms to the small desk, leaning over it as thoughts race through his mind.  He grinds his teeth, jaw flexing, and shakes his head as he pushes himself to stand, snatching his hat from its place at the edge of the map.  He's about to leave his tent when his brother enters, skin somehow both pale and flushed.

"Jedediah—" he starts, and Jed simply shakes his head.

"Now, look—I know it ain't lookin' great right now, but we're about a day'n a half from the Cimarron," Jedediah says, plopping his hat into place.  "We can't all make that trip with folks this parched, but there's a clearin' off the trail aways, and I might find water there."

"Jed, you don't—"

"Pete, you gotta trust me here if we wanna keep above snakes," Jed insists, clapping his brother on the shoulder with a gloved hand.  "I'll leave the map—hell, I made the damn thing, so it ain't like I need it."

The tent flap opens again while Jed speaks, revealing a third Smith brother.  "Jedediah, that map ain't gonna be doin' us any good anyway," Austin interrupts, looking about as pale as Peter.

Jed's brows furrow.  "The hell's that s'posed t' mean?" he asks.

"Get out here," is all Austin says before leaving the tent.

Peter squeezes himself between Jedediah and the canvas of the cramped tent to usher the cartographer out ahead of him, and Jed gets ready to air out his lungs as he's shoved out into the sunlight.  What he's met with, though, has him swallowing his pre-loaded curses.  There's a very long, very pregnant pause before Jedediah clears his throat and says, "That map really ain't gonna be doin' us any good then, is it?"

The vast countryside is gone—well, most of it, it seems—and the heavy heat along with it.  He sends his gaze toward the sky, gripping the brim of his hat as he squints up at where the sun ought to be.  "...What in the name'a…?"

"Jed…" he hears from next to him.

He reaches to his right without looking, smacking blindly at Austin's arm.  "C'n y'all tell me how many suns're s'posed t' be up right now?"

Another pause.

He feels Peter's hand on his left shoulder.  "Jed, the sun ain't really our biggest problem at present."

Jed's gaze snaps to him, his reaction near-visceral.  "The shit you mean it ain't?!  Sun rises in the East, sets in the West—what the hell're we meant to do with four of 'em?!  How're we s'posed t' know?!"

"Jed, he means The Dropoff," Austin says, and Jedediah looks to him and feels an impressive need to sit down.  "And walls—Wyatt says there's walls—"

Jed looks out toward The Dropoff, and his stomach seems to leap from it.  He remembers learning in school that people used to think the world was like that—with an edge you could fall off of.  His knees buckle, and he distantly hears his own spurs ring as his rear end hits the ground.  "We ain't got water…we ain't got a river…"

There's a moment of quiet as they all process what this means.  Jedediah takes in the noise of the campsite before them, or rather the lack thereof.  Where there would normally be shouts and idle chatter, there's nothing but a tense, awed silence.  Only the horses dare to nicker amongst themselves.  The campsite feels desolate.

"A buncha folks headed over to the edge to have a look," Austin says, placing a hand on Jedediah's shoulder.  "Wyatt says he thinks there's people out there."

"People, huh?"  Jed reaches up to rub his jaw as it flexes.  "You two stick around here, alright?"  He moves to stand, turns back to the tent, and heads inside to grab a few things.

"Jed, what are you thinking?" Peter calls from outside the tent before whipping one of the flaps open.

"I'm thinkin', Pete," Jed retorts, "that I'm the oldest here, 'n' seein' as y'all're only here on account'a me—"

"Jed, that's not true," Peter insists, but Jed's guilt only worsens.

"It damn well is true, Pete!" he shouts back, grabbing his satchel and jamming his fist into it to keep it open on his bedroll.  He kneels to grab his Bible from its place in his blankets.  Peter doesn't know the horrors of pioneering the way Jed does―doesn't know how quickly things can go wrong.  "Now, listen.  I promised Mama I'd keep y'all safe, an' now we're stuck without options."

Peter enters the small tent, and Austin opens the other tent flap.  "That ain't your fault, Jed," Austin tries.  "Lack'a rain ain't got nothin' t' do with you.  Ain't you the one always sayin' God's got—"

"—His reasons, yeah, I know," Jed snaps.  He grabs his journal and adds it to the satchel, also shoving his canteen inside.  "Ain't mean I gotta agree with 'em."  He snags some dried rabbit meat and places it inside as well.  "Testin' us—testin' my patience, more like," he grumbles, running a hand through his dark hair.

"You've gotten out of tougher spots;" Peter tries, "you were attacked by a bear!"

Jed glares at him over his shoulder before turning back to close his bag.  "Yeah, well, ya can't trick a drought."  He stands and pulls the bag's strap across his body.

He shoves past his brothers and considers heading for his horse.  No good.  Bad riding terrain if there's a drop.  He hears their footsteps behind him as he strides toward The Dropoff.

"Jed, you really don't have—"

Jed quickly cuts Peter off.  "Austin, you're in charge.  I want everyone lookin' f’r cactus, got it?  I know it's early in the growin' season, but it's our best shot."  He can almost hear the silent conversation his brothers share behind him.

"Got it," Austin confirms after a moment as the three of them approach the murmuring crowd at the edge of…everything.

Jed reaches up to grab the brim of his hat and shoulders his way through the crowd, and his heart stops when he reaches the front.  “Shit…” he breathes.  He looks over the edge and swallows thickly.  It’s gotta be…

“How far’s that, d’ya think?” someone asks next to him. Jed briefly thinks the kid must have read his mind.  “‘Bout a hundred feet?”

Jed shakes his head minutely.  “Not, uh…not quite.  I’d say…fifty?  Seventy-five, maybe?”  Sure as hell looks like a hundred, though.

“Mr. Smith, you ain’t thinkin’ about goin’ down there, are ya?” the same voice asks.  Jed looks over and finds Wyatt, the young man who had apparently relayed the information about the walls.  “Young man,” is a stretch, really; the kid’s not much older than his brother Ben, no more than 19.

“We’re outta water…and outta luck,” he replies, dropping his gaze to the ground below.  He takes a deep breath and steps back from the edge, turning toward the campsite.  “I’m the only one with map makin’ know-how,” he notices that a fair few of the crowd members have stepped back from the ledge and are looking at him now, “so it only makes sense that I’m the one t’ stick my neck out.”  A few mumbles begin, and he shakes his head minutely.  “I don’t want anyone givin’ up, you understand?  Ev’ryone’s gonna keep lookin’ for alternative water sources, alright?  Cactus, streams, mud, anything.  If you find wet dirt or sand, dig down.”  He wraps a hand around the strap across his body and pulls it tight to his chest.  “May not taste great, but it’s better than shrivelin’ up out here.”  He takes a breath and releases his bag.  “Now, I need someone to lower me down.”

When he reaches the ground below, he’s surprised to find it hard and completely smooth, clearly man-made.  He lets out a whistle, long and low, and takes a few steps forward before turning back to the ledge he’s just left.  He considers climbing back up the rope still hanging down, considers returning to his brothers, to the group he’s been with for a month now.

He shakes his head minutely, dropping his gaze to the floor beneath him, then resituates his hat atop his head.  “Gonna be a long walk,” he mumbles to himself.  He turns around again and squares his shoulders, his brows furrowing as he takes a moment to actually study his surroundings.  He recognizes the large structure in the center of the room as a bench, briefly wondering who on Earth could possibly sit there.  He walks out toward it, and now that he’s away from the noise of the campsite, other sounds begin to filter down to him.  When he hears loud shouting coming from behind him, he quickly turns around and stops dead in his tracks.

“Wyatt says he thinks there’s people out there.”

Above him are two windows, and he feels the tension in his chest ease for a reason he can’t quite place.  He can’t quite tell what’s in either of the windows from this angle, especially since each display is lined with a crowd of its own, but he knows that the one on his right is the one he’s just climbed out of.  He jogs toward the other one and cups his hands around his mouth to amplify his voice.

“Y’all got any water?!” he shouts.  The crowd of strangers has yet to calm down, all waving quite excitedly.  He waves back, gesturing wildly to try and get them to quiet down, but his gestures are met with more frantic waving, now accompanied by pointing in the direction of the large bench behind him.  He turns yet again, and he just about soils himself.

In front of him is…well, he can only describe it as a giant.  It’s all the way across the room, and something in its eyes is frantic and terrified.  “Oh―shit!” it shouts.  It disappears momentarily, and Jed can move again.  “Guys!  The dioramas!” the giant roars from somewhere, but Jedediah isn’t listening anymore.

He looks back toward the crowd of strangers above him, and a lasso has been lowered for him before he can even ask for help.  He runs for the rope, his boots slipping on the smooth flooring, and manages to grab it just as the giant rounds the doorway again with two others.  He turns to look over his shoulder as their footsteps thunder into the room, and he can feel the impact of them in the way the floor shakes beneath him.  He looks back down at the lasso and uses the loop as a foothold, cinching it around his boot and grabbing the spoke with both hands.  He pulls on it twice, glancing over his shoulder again as his heart pounds against his ribs, and he feels himself immediately being hauled up toward the ledge full of strangers.

Bile rises in the back of his throat as the giants scramble to close off another window he didn’t notice before; it looks like it has a pyramid in it, he thinks.  He blanches as he hears tiny shouting and screams, watching as the giants stoop down before throwing people back into the recess.  He turns his head away, swallowing down the vomit that threatens to leave him.  He can hear the thundering of more footsteps approaching him, and he forces himself to open his eyes and look toward where the giants last were.  Before he can even process the knee in front of his face, the lasso he’s using as a foothold is yanked by fingers the size of his entire body.  His leg slips through the loop, and he falls until his groin catches him, his vision fading to white as pain radiates up his right hip and down his thigh.

The next thing he knows, he’s gasping for breath on the ground, completely winded and extremely sore.  He blinks up at a stark blue sky, blurry figures fading in and out of his periphery as he forces himself to focus on his own gasping.

This ain’t nothin’, he lies to himself.  Been scalped before.  Got outta that one okay.

His lungs feel like they’re about to explode, and he (with immense effort) rolls onto his side and coughs, his eyes shutting as yet more air rushes into him by way of gasping.  His ears ring, head pounding even as he suddenly feels hands on his shoulder and smacking his back.  He cries out, another gasp following immediately after.  Someone shouts above him, and he thinks he hears someone shouting about his spine.

Spine’s just fine! he wants to shout.  It’s my damn ribs that’re the issue―

He shouts again as someone tries to sit him up.

“Hip!” someone yells.  Maybe it’s Jed.  “His hip―careful of his hip.”  Okay, maybe it’s not

He sucks down another gasp when he realizes his lungs have emptied themselves, white-hot misery crystal clear as he’s laid back down.  He can feel someone grabbing his right knee, can hear shouting again before someone else grabs his shoulders, and then he can’t hear anything except for his own howling followed by a loud POP.  The back of his head hits the hard ground beneath him, and the voice of a stranger floats before him as he feels his own tears dripping into his ears.

He’s trying to work out what was said when he feels a harsh knock to the top of his head.  The pain fades to a dull ache, and everything goes quiet.

Matthew opened the backdoor to the house, a hefty bundle of firewood tucked under his arm. The Canadian had spent a majority of the day in the woods in his backyard chopping up firewood while his significant other stayed in the house. Before Matthew could announce that he was back, he was stopped by the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard coming from the other room. 

He carefully set down the firewood as he slowly crept his way farther into the house, following the enchanting cadence. Matthew abruptly stopped before he entered the kitchen, deciding instead to silently watch from the doorway as you focused on washing the dishes, singing along to the music that played on your phone, blissfully unaware that your boyfriend was listening to you. 

Matthew had no idea that you could sing like that, feeling as if he was a sailor being lured in by a siren’s song. He was unaware that he had let out a sharp breath, alerting you to his presence. You turned towards the doorway and saw Matthew standing there, watching you blissfully. You gasped loudly in shock, almost dropping the bowl you’d been washing, immediately ceasing the divine melody. 

“M-Mattie! Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in!” You stammered through your embarrassment.

“No No! It’s alright! I-um-I should have said something but….” Matthew fumbled through his words before he said, “ (Y/N), why did you never tell me you could sing like that?”

You looked away from Matthew, your mood changing at his question. He noticed your sudden shift in mood, immediately feeling guilty that he may have hit as sore spot. He walked over to you, gently placing a hand on your head.

“I’m-I’m sorry if I….you don’t have to answer. I just…..you sound so beautiful.” Matthew whispered in a tender voice. 

You leaned forward into Matthew’s chest, wrapping your arms around him. Matthew was taken aback for a moment before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you closer into him.

“It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean anything bad by it.” You said to his chest, “I just, I don’t like people hearing me sing. The thought of people standing around…watching me….it makes my anxiety skyrocket.”

“Oh Maple, It’s alright…”Matthew lifted a hand to stroke your hair, “You don’t have to feel guilty about having performance anxiety.” 

Matthew’s reassurance and understanding made you feel tears begin to form in your eyes. You had been so used to people in the past dismissing your performance anxiety and forcing you into positions you didn’t want to be in that you had finally just decided to quit singing altogether, along with not telling people you even could sing if they were preciously unaware. 

You looked up and Matthew, leaning in carefully until your lips found Matthew’s. Matthew pressed his lips up against yours, allowing yourselves to meld into a loving embrace. You two could have stayed locked together for the rest of eternity, but your need for air eventually forced you two apart. When you finally broke apart, you looked at Matthew once more, a smile plastered wide across your face.

“I love you Matthew.” You whispered to him.

“I love you too (Y/N).” Matthew whispered in return.

You paused for a moment before finally saying to him, “Maybe….maybe I can sing around the house more often….” You said softly.

Matthew was taken aback slightly, “Are you sure Maple? I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

You nodded in reassurance, “I want to…for you. The look you gave me when you were listening earlier, it made me happy. I want to make you happy like that again.”