I’m honestly still reeling after the season finale. It’s been a week now, and I still don’t know what to think or how to feel. I feel numb, I feel cheated. But who I really feel horrible for is Gillian.
There was once a time where I felt like CC took too much flack from our fandom and that people needed to cut him more slack. At the end of the day it is ultimately his show, and it felt like people were always gunning for him. When the My Struggle storyline came along, it just solidified for me what many others had been feeling for years. Sure Scully wasn’t always treated the best, I think we can all admit that, but it was nothing compared to what her, Mulder, and William ended up enduring in My Struggle 1-4. That title is very fitting for what those poor characters ended up going through.
My husband says if I’m so upset then I just shouldn’t watch the show, that Gillian got paid and didn’t have to return for another season and really, that is true. But she also didn’t sign on to do the show again so her character could be treated the way she was in seasons 10 and 11. She certainly didn’t expect to be kept in the dark about Scully’s fate in the finale, a character she had played for 25 freaking years. She had every right to know what was going to happen and to be able to prepare for it. What a huge betrayal of the supposed friendship that her and CC have. He’s the god father to her daughter for Christ’s sake, but yet he casted her to the waste side and treated her like shit.
It’s no wonder she looked miserable so many times over the last few months, I honestly don’t blame her at all for feeling the way she feels. I tried to brush the expression she had on her face aside and fooled myself into thinking she wasn’t really as unhappy as she looked, I really did. But finding out the news that she didn’t even know what was going to happen to Scully until literally right before she went on to film her final scene of the finale with her having previously announced that this would be her last season of the show ever makes me physically ill. Like I’m not going to get over this anytime soon, and I don’t know if I ever will.
Maybe I’m being overly protective of Gillian and she’s a big girl and can take care of herself, but damn it, she deserved better. Her character deserved better, David deserved better, and poor William and Mulder deserved better. I’m unsure how to reconcile my feelings in going forward. We received no real closure from that finale, we were left with even more questions, and more than likely it’s the last season and honestly, it should be. But yet that doesn’t make it any easier to move forward from here. It really doesn’t.