#making lists

Notes from heaven

We were on the lake with our lines in the water, deep into an extended lull in the action.

Thoroughly bored, my gradson was leafing through my fishing log - a pencil-on-paper record of every fish we've pulled from Lake Huron in 30 years - when this unmistakably red note fluttered from the pages of the notebook.

My heart fluttered right after it because I recognized it immediately.

Jessica, my dearly departed daughter (and best-ever fishing buddy) struggled with the written word, but refused to be intimidated by it. When we were on the boat she enjoyed making lists and particularly liked keeping an inventory of our hottest lures.

She used a variety of colloquial names (i.e, "Monkey Puke," "Goose") and names she invented. Sometimes she named them after people she knew. As you can see, she named one after herself. It was purple.

I knew all along, or course, that this red list was folded into the log because that's where I keep it. Still, whenever I come across it, I can see her writing it; I can hear her asking me how to spell something.

It's always a bit of a jolt, but time has softened the impact; 22 years after her death, the heart knows how to smile while shedding a tear.